Lydia and I had yet another timely conversation last night. She was talking to two friends online who have not been getting along. It sounds like one friend was ready to extend an olive branch. Yet, Lydia unknowingly was trying to play interference. 

I overheard her talking to the other friend and asked her, “What are you talking about? Don’t get in the middle of their issues, and don’t write anything you will regret.”

Did she listen?

Not quite…

While Lydia didn’t write anything mean or spiteful, the tone of her words didn’t sound quite right and could have been misinterpreted since we can’t always deduce tone of voice online. Not thinking it through, she just wrote what came to her mind. The other friend grew suspicious that Lydia was playing both sides, though she was trying to help.

Lydia’s little folly lost her tech privileges the rest of the night. Mostly, I needed her to take a pause. Thankfully, both friends easily let it go, but it could have blown up quickly.

Really, I don’t think Lydia understood what I meant, so I used her confusion as a teaching moment. I searched for the verse below and then found this video. We watched it together and discussed it.

I explained that we are to be wise yet peaceable with people. We are to influence the world but not get caught up in the drama. We can help people, but we have to let them learn and navigate their own path sometimes. 

We are called to love, but that doesn’t mean we are to be pushovers. We are called to stand up for others, but not pull them out of every pickle.

I gave Lydia a few personal examples of two sides telling me ‘all their problems.’ I never share personal details or provide a ‘he said, she said’ to the other party. Instead, I encourage them to talk it out. I pay attention to subtleties and nuances of body language. I read between the lines, so to speak! 

I can provide a look into the other person’s perspective, but filter it through a lens of grace. I coach them to offer the benefit of the doubt and help them understand the other side. But, it is always up to them whether they work it out or not.

As such, people recognize that I am a good listener, observant and trustworthy. I try not to be judgemental but provide a rounded view of both sides.

In the verse above, Jesus used a simile. He didn’t mean we should be dishonest or try to deceive people. He meant we should be aware and be prepared… lead with love, but don’t be stupid or naive. 

Ultimately, we need to understand the impact of our actions, and how they can pull people closer to Jesus or repel them. In some ways, it’s a matter of great responsibility!

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God, thanks for the lessons You teach us! Help us walk wisely and peacefully as we share Your love and grace with others. Help us do what is right. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you listen with wise and peaceable intent, or do you try to stir the pot?

Task: Pray about this topic and THINK: Is it True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind? If not, keep it to yourself!