Sensing God’s Presence

The heat is already setting in here in Fargo, so it seems Summer will soon be upon us! At the same time, that means Construction season is also here, so all the orange cones, neon clothing, and flashing lights are in view.

Really, I don’t mind, except when I have a detour that gets me lost or makes me late! But, sometimes, I just find a new way to get somewhere or enjoy a scenic route I would have otherwise missed. Either way, Spring and Summer help me be in tune with all my senses, which in turn, point me to God.

On my walks in to work from the parking lot, I hear motorcycles and other traffic, lawnmowers, birds chirping, etc. I am grateful for my hearing because I serve many Veterans who have lost some or all of their hearing.

I love seeing all the beautiful trees: red/pink crab apple, dogwood, and who knows the rest! I have also enjoyed the multicolored tulips,  green grass, blue sky, and yellow sun!

Free Flowers Petals photo and picture

We have also enjoyed tasting fresh veggies, salads, and fruit. Especially blueberries, watermelon, pineapple, or maybe even a fruit popsicle. Oh, I do love s’mores as well!

That reminds me of the smells associated with campfires and grilling. Also, I have had people give me fresh flowers two weeks in a row. Thanks to my family and the friend who gave them to me!

We mowed the lawn last week and felt some of the grass tickling the back of our legs (yes, it grew faster than I expected!). And, on Sunday, I spent time on the deck barefoot!

There are two other senses that often get overlooked. These are vestibular and proprioception. These are related to the sense of touch and involve movement and balance. For this example, Lydia and I have had fun playing outdoor games, riding bikes, and going for walks.

That makes me curious… how do you experience God in your day-to-day life? Where do you sense Him at work? Do you hear His voice… and listen? Do you see His hand moving in your circumstances, working everything for your good? Do you feel His love personally or through others? Do you taste the goodness and joy around you? Do you catch a whiff of His grace? You can use your imagination a little here, but it’s worth some serious thought!

Each of us may sense God differently, as He made us all unique, but His Truth stands firm. While seasons come and go, God never changes! He is our solid Rock, and according to Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.” He is with us and for us always. May we find joy in the beauty around us, and may it lead us to Jesus!

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God, thanks for designing me to yearn for You. Draw me near and speak to me in ways I can understand. Don’t let me miss what You are doing in my life. Let me join you and help serve others! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are your responses to the questions above? How can you seek the Lord today?

Tasks: Watch this 3-minute video about the colors of creation. It goes through how our eyes perceive colors and how that changes throughout the day. God is an amazing Creator!!

Finding #376

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week. We had a mini staycation, which included a quiet Mother’s Day on Sunday. We hiked, relaxed, and played a little soccer game with the neighbor boys…perfect! I am so grateful to be Lydia’s mom, but it’s also a little bittersweet since it reminds me of being a single parent since the anniversary of Dave’s death occurs around the same time.

On Monday, I took the day off from work and enjoyed celebrating Dave’s life with Lydia. We tried to make the best of it, though we’ve been missing him for ten years now.

The weather was really nice this week! I loved seeing all the flowery trees! Lydia helped me mow about half the yard on Wednesday, so that helped save me a lot of time! I did the trim work and then finished the lawn. Then today, we enjoyed going for a walk all around the neighborhood and later played ball together!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Hallelujah Anyway!

Monday was the tenth anniversary of Dave’s death. A whole decade without him. Not knowing how I would feel, I took time off to give myself the space to just be.

Sometimes we go away and do something special, but this year, we decided to do a staycation instead. Lydia and I celebrated Dave’s life by doing fun things all weekend. We played games, made brownies, went on a little hike, tried hyperbowling, and went out to eat a fancy dinner! I also went on a bike ride and got a massage while she was in school.

You’d think I’d have it all figured out by now. Been there, done that. But somehow, the last few months felt like I was going back to the beginning. Not necessarily in terms of deep grief but rather second-guessing myself. Like, “Why I am I still dealing with this or that?” I think it stemmed from being overwhelmed with work and other decisions while not having enough time to really rest.

Overwhelm is loosely related to fear, which, historically, has been a stronghold for me. I know when that happens, I need to re-evaluate and deal with it right away. So, as you may recall, I spoke up at work and made some personal changes. I prayerfully focused on quiet time with the Lord and self-care, such as exercise, sleep, simple meals, and restorative activities. I am feeling much better now!
Not too long ago, one of my dear college friends sent me a message that she was praying for me. She said, “The same God who was with you then is with you now. You have grown and changed and will continue to grow and change, but God has and will remain the same… mind-blowing!” She then quoted Psalm 62:5, “Find rest my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.”
Well, I think that’s a pretty good summary of God’s faithfulness! I could not do any of this without Him. He is so gracious and reliable. I feel His presence and wisdom when answering every one of Lydia’s many deep questions about life, death, Dave, and pre-teen worries.
Thanks to all those who continue to support us through prayer, words of encouragement, and the occasional hand around the house. I have an amazing family, neighbors, coworkers, and friends. I appreciate each person who sends a card, a prayer, a well-timed word, or helps around the house on occasion.
So, while Monday was a near-perfect day, honestly, I was a little relieved when it was over. We made it through, but it’s just a lot, you know? Then yesterday, I heard this song, “Hallelujah Anyway,” by Rend Collective. It was a great reminder that our hope is in Jesus. “Even if” or when life goes awry, God is still in control and on His throne, we have the Holy Spirit working in us, and we have eternity with Jesus in Heaven.
Our emotions and circumstances don’t dictate our response to God’s presence in our lives. I hope you can say “hallelujah anyway” through whatever you face today. God is worthy of all our praise and gratitude. He is so good!
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God, we praise You, when things go well and even when they don’t… because You are worthy through it all. Thanks for Your grace and goodness. May we be a living example of Your love today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Question: In what ways might you say, “hallelujah anyway” today?
Task: Life is so short. Make sure to celebrate and appreciate all the goodness in your life. Remember to praise God and thank Him, as He is the source of all good things!

Mood Meter

Hello! How are you feeling today? Today, I want to tell you about a tool called an emotion wheel that can help you understand how you feel so you can decide what to do about it!

I first encountered it while writing my book, though it has existed for many years. It helped me describe my feelings about Dave’s sickness and death, not to mention my struggle with fear, faith, and moving forward.

The act of writing was rewarding but challenging, so I appreciated being able to point to an adjective and analyze my feelings, process my grief, and stick with my project. In short, this tool takes abstract concepts and makes them more concrete.

I recently came across the emotion wheel again, and it felt like God’s perfect timing, as next Monday is the tenth anniversary of Dave’s death.

Most emotion wheels will highlight the basic feelings of happiness/joy, sadness/grief, fear, anger, disgust, and surprise. As Lysa TerKeurst says, “Emotions are indicators, not dictators.” So, we can use them for insight, but they don’t run the show and should not predict how we act.

We must identify emotions to validate and resolve them before they spill over on others. Unchecked emotions can lead to assumptions and wreak havoc. If not now, later. Unresolved anger can lead to passive aggressiveness, jealousy, and revenge. Fear can yield playing it safe and missed opportunities. Grief, without an outlet, can stop someone from living fully.

There are several ways to use the emotion wheel. You can start in the middle and work your way out, or vice versa. Find words that resonate with you and see how they are related. Then, you can come up with the next steps to address them.

Not surprisingly, it is common to feel several emotions at any moment. We may be confused or conflicted, like we are literally all over the place internally. Many of us feel physical sensations, like headaches, gut issues, pain, etc. We also tend to misunderstand others’ emotions, taking things personally when we shouldn’t.

Here are a couple of examples that have stood out to me when I’ve used the wheel:

“Oh, I am feeling isolated, which is similar to being lonely and related to sadness. Hmmm… could it be another layer of grief?” I could take a walk, but maybe I need to call someone for support.

or

“I am feeling overwhelmed, which is next to anxiety, which is rooted in fear. Why am I feeling afraid?” I should read some Bible verses about fear and turn my worries over to God.

Another example is this: I had a fun day recently, laughing and receiving good news. As you can imagine, I was mostly feeling happy emotions. In some ways, reading the adjectives later helped me relish the joy all the more.

Interestingly, I rarely feel angry – I deal more with fear… while Lydia more easily identifies with anger – yet it comes and goes quickly! We both relate to happiness and sadness, but less often, disgust. It has been fun to see and hear her perspective, and I hope it is a way for us to continue communicating as she moves into middle school.

Another tool is a chart I found on Etsy. It came as a download or in the form of a pillowcase! It ranks feelings according to a spectrum of energy and positivity. Anger is an adverse reaction, and it uses a lot of emotional energy. The sad emotions are typically less positive and drain energy. Joy is positive and high energy, while calmness is positive and low energy.

This was insightful because I tend to feel lower energy levels, but now I wonder if it’s just my personality. As an introvert, I get excited sometimes, but overall, I enjoy calmness and a slower pace. In fact, this is a great strength, but the world moves more quickly. Thankfully, I am learning to interpret what’s going on a little better so I can plan ahead. If I have a big event ahead, I can pare down my schedule to conserve energy and implement some strategies for coping and recovery.

Of course, there is no right way or wrong way to feel. These are simply tools. Nonetheless, you can combine them with Scripture to tap into all God has for you!

While Satan wants us to stay stuck in our emotions, distracted and offended, Jesus wants us to live fully! (See John 10:10.) Instead of being ruled by our feelings, let’s use them to turn to God! Instead of running away from our emotions, let’s use them to run to God.

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God, thanks for giving us emotions to help us feel and understand Your goodness. Help us to honor You and manage them well. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Do you notice how your emotions change throughout the day? How does that affect your energy? What is your natural response to your feelings?
Tasks: For a fun challenge, use an emotion wheel to track how you feel during the day. Note any themes, pray about resolving any negativity, and keep moving forward!

Keep Moving Toward

On Sunday morning, Lydia and I were at church. The message was about healing and trusting God. Instead of physical healing, I was writing notes about some habits I am working to change. I know I need God’s help to make real progress and swap in better choices.

At the end of the sermon, our pastor asked people who needed healing to head to the aisle for prayer. Healing can be physical, mental, emotional, etc. I felt content that God met my need, so I didn’t move, but several other people did.

Soon, our pastor asked those people to raise their hands if they needed someone to pray with them. I hadn’t planned on praying for anyone, as many other people had volunteered.

Free Holding Hands Bible photo and picture

Well, then I noticed a woman in front of us raising her hand. She and her husband appeared to be supporting their daughter. I told Lydia to scoot over so I could go pray with this family. At the moment, I just wanted to meet the need in front of me. I have personally felt the impact of people praying for me at just the right time.

So, I don’t think Lydia quite understood what I meant. She just stood there while I was trying to pass by on my way to the aisle. After a little back and forth, I put my hands on her shoulders, somewhat forcefully set her aside, and said, “MOVE!! Get out of my way.”

I don’t usually need to use that tone with Lydia, and I did apologize later for hurting her feelings. She was a little upset at first, but I explained that I wanted to be obedient. I didn’t want to miss an opportunity for God to use me. So I needed to move toward the need and His calling.

Perhaps I was a little fired up because I felt like I had my own mini breakthrough with the Lord during the sermon. I had been kind of ho-hum about my habits, but since I was able to write a basic plan with the Lord’s help, I felt free. So when I said, “MOVE!! Get out of my way,” I was also speaking in spiritual terms. Whether it’s Satan’s craftiness or just my own reserve, I cannot afford to delay God’s plans in my life.

As a Christ follower, I am essentially on mission every day. Jesus is the King, and I serve Him. I should not be self-centered or self-seeking. I can’t let fear stop me. I am called to love others and be available at a moment’s notice to GO.

God constantly calls me to move toward the messy parts of life. Jesus certainly did, and He is my example! If I don’t sense Him at work, then I am likely in a comfort zone, which needs to dealt with ASAP. It’s only then that I can actually fix the problem, change, and grow.

In short, I can’t settle for less than God’s best. That includes healing and eternity, but it also means joining Him in His work now. I don’t want to miss out because I am hung up on worthless habit. Lord, help me!

I did not get a chance to talk with the family after the service, but the mother smiled at me in gratitude. I’m so glad I was able to lay aside my own feelings and plans to serve the Lord. Plus, it became a good teaching moment for Lydia.

Remember, as the Church, we are the hands and feet of Jesus. No habit, project, or personal goal compares with following Jesus and impacting others for Him. When life gets difficult, it’s tempting to run away or drag our feet, letting fear or procrastination become the default. But, dare I say: MOVE!! Get out of your own way!

But, RUN to Jesus, FIGHT to stay close to Him. Face the battle in front of you. Give it all you’ve got, knowing it’s really His strength and power working through you. If God is for you, who can be against you?!

We have to keep moving TOWARD to keep moving FORWARD.

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God, thanks for calling us to spread Your love and serve others. Renew my mind and transform me, Lord. Fill me with grace and compassion to see the needs around me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you running away from or running toward your challenges today? What habit or goal do you need to adjust in order to serve the Lord?

Task: MOVE!! Get out of the way!! Keep moving TOWARD so you can keep moving FORWARD! Read and ponder Romans 12:1-2 and Hebrews 12:1-2.

Finding Grace #373

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Bird Female photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week stood out to me, and I saw God’s grace every day. It was a week of old friends, good conversations, and throwback music. I even saw a cardinal at work, which I rarely see because I still have young trees at home. Just what I needed!

My friend, Krystal, now lives in Colorado with her husband, Owen, their three boys, and a new baby girl. Krystal was in town for a family event and brought two of her kids, including the baby. She and our friend, Sara, who also has a new baby, came over to visit with a third friend. We caught up over a few hours, and it was just like old times. (You may remember them from my book.) It was fun to see how much our lives have changed over the years.

Work was a little more relaxed this week, and it has been a nice change of pace. I appreciate our managers have listened and helped set up some better boundaries as far as our patient load. As it was, I still had several other calls to make, such as patient issues that popped up, as well as some projects to work on. I still needed to cover a few areas, but I’m glad I had a little margin.

On Thursday night, Lydia and I went to see a living legend, Steven Curtis Chapman, in concert at the Fargo Theater! Lydia wasn’t really sure who he was at first, but soon felt an emotional connection to his music. It could be that they have the same birthday, but she related our missing Dave to his own losses and grief. Hearing him discuss faith and perseverance was the best! It encouraged us to keep moving forward!

Last night, Lydia and I played a game and watched the birds outside in the yard. Today, we worked on some projects and organized around the house. Lydia also went on a little bike ride in our neighborhood with a friend. It feels great that Spring is here!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Work Smarter, Not Harder

You have likely heard the phrase, “work smarter, not harder.” And depending on the context, we would probably all agree that’s good advice. Our time, effort, and energy are vital resources!

Sometimes I ask my neighbors for help when it comes to home maintenance. I am grateful for their skills and willingness. However, many run their own businesses and are just as busy as I am (if not more). Therefore, coordinating our schedules can take awhile.

Therefore, I often try to fix things myself or have to read about the issues online. I sometimes say I know a little about a lot. (My brain is a trove of random trivia!!) I generally don’t know enough to solve all the problems, but enough to get by or at least get the gist. It’s also a good thing I know when I am in over my head.

Free Door Toilet Door photo and picture

So, on Sunday, I was reading about front door locks. Mine has not been reliable lately; the deadbolt is still secure, but I needed to change the lower doorknob as soon as possible. It would lock but then not open again. Not a huge problem, except that we use the door just about every day.

The more I read, the more I realized I was out of my league. I did learn some new vocabulary, though! I also learned there are at least three basic options for deadbolts, not to mention the door knobs or levers, colors, brands, security pros and cons.

Within a few minutes, I decided to call in a professional.

On Monday, I took half a day off work, just because. I had no real plans but wanted to use a time-off award before it expired. It was a beautiful day to run some errands. In addition, I called a local locksmith, and he was able to come over right away. The problem I had been thinking about for three weeks was resolved within about twenty minutes!

I was happy to pay for the expert’s work because it saved me a lot of time and effort, not to mention the stress of trying to figure it out! I had him change the door knob and lock on the door that goes to the garage, too. That way, they match!

We who belong to Christ have a built-in expert in every area of life. The Holy Spirit is our guide and teacher. He shows us the path to take and which routes to avoid. By checking in with Him, we can save time, energy, and effort!

“When he opens doors, no one will be able to close them; when he closes doors, no one will be able to open them.” -Isaiah 22:22. This verse is about a faithful man named Eliakim, who was put in charge of the Jerusalem treasury, and you can compare it to what is said about the faithful church of Philadelphia in Revelation 3:8 above. Interesting parallels!

The two verses in Isaiah and Revelation encouraged me this week. They are God’s words about those who are godly, loyal, faithful, and effective in their ministries. I am inspired to keep moving forward!

I don’t know about you, I tend to work, work, work, but I can only accomplish so much when I am running on fumes! But, in John 10:9, Jesus said, “I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.”

When we’re faithful, it blesses God. When we feel weak and tired, may we run to Jesus, our source of strength. He is the Door, and with Him, all things are possible! I am confident that His plan is better than mine and that He will help me work smarter, not harder! 

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God, thanks for being my source of strength and energy. When I don’t know what to do, help me run to You. Help me work smarter with Your wisdom, not run myself into the ground. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How can you work smarter, not harder? How can you rely on Jesus today?

Task: Read these Bible verses about doors! 🙂

Finding Grace #371

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Robin Red-Breasted photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was filled with God’s grace. We had some company in the earlier part of the week. It’s always fun to have visitors, and we were especially glad to celebrate Easter together!

I’m thrilled to report I saw our first robins of spring! Today, I saw about twelve all sprinkled through my lawn. They enjoy my deck and trees, as do several other birds: finches, juncos, sparrows, starlings, and swallows so far!

The weather finally warmed up this week, although it will be chilly again for the next few days. The snow is melting more, hour by hour, and the grass is growing a little. I wonder if my tulips will even come up this year since they are usually already up and gone again! Perhaps I will be surprised!

Work went well this week; still busy, but I had a good discussion about the workload with my manager. Hopefully, we will figure out some manageable strategies in the coming weeks. We can only bend so far before we “break” or burn out. I took off the day on Friday for an appointment and some R&R, which really helped.

Today, Lydia and I watched our friend’s little girl! We enjoyed cuddling with her and catching up with her momma when she returned. We will probably relax for the rest of the evening, maybe watch a movie or play a game!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Like A Flood

On Monday, I saw my first robin of Spring, well, at least three of them all at once in my backyard! I saw a few other cute little birds, too.

That means Spring is officially here in my book! And the snow is melting fast. Every day, another foot of grass is showing. My deck is now completely clear when it was still covered in a foot of snow just a few days ago. It all melted in less than twelve hours!

At the same time, our governor declared a statewide emergency to access resources ahead of the annual flooding. My neighborhood will be fine, as my town has a diversion that can help control the excess water. It was one thing Dave and I considered when we moved here.

But, I do work in Fargo, right along the Red River. Technically, there is a wall or dike along the federal property, but the VA has had to evacuate in the past. I trust all will be well.

The Red River and a few other river branches flow north into Canada. Essentially, the southern parts of our region thaw earlier and get backed up as they head north. So, the rivers flood and can potentially wreak a lot of havoc.

Free Flood River photo and picture

A flood moves fast but also makes me think about how quickly God’s blessings add up. While a water flood is dangerous and damaging, God floods us with grace upon grace.

North Dakotans are good at fighting flood waters. Everyone pitches in to fill sandbags and place them where needed, around buildings and houses near the river. It is great to see the people in our community support one another.

Similarly, God is sure good at providing and covering for our every need. The first part of Isaiah 43:2 says, “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.”

Maybe Life has you feeling like you are in over your head. Let God’s grace carry you through the floods. He cares for you so much!

Our God is strong and mighty. He who parts the waters will see you safely through one way or another. No flood is too powerful for His overwhelming love, grace, and provision. Put your faith in Him!

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God, You are so good to us! Thanks for Your grace and provision. Lord, when we feel overwhelmed, please carry us Remind us of Your love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What can you trust God for this week? How can you be the hands and feet of Jesus and help others?

Task: God may part the waters, or maybe He will hold you close and be your lifejacket, or maybe He will carry you like a lifeboat. Don’t limit Him. Call out to Jesus, watch Him show up and work on your behalf!

Finding Grace #370

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Easter Lily Flower photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was another good week, but it required a lot of prayers! Nonetheless, God really came through for me! One little highlight was watching little songbirds hopping around on the gigantic piles of snow in my backyard!

It seems like I talk about work almost every week, but as you know, I spend so much time there. I helped with a nursing fair and saw several patients. I also had some important conversations with my coworkers. We had some laughs and also brainstormed our way through some potential problems. It was a good feeling!

The weather was a little crazy this week. Lydia only went to her actual school on Monday; Tuesday through Thursday were remote learning due to the weather. Then, yesterday, she was off for Good Friday already. Thankfully, she handled it all like a champ!

Thankfully, the last couple of days have been above 40 and sunny, just in time to celebrate Easter! We enjoyed our church’s Good Friday service last night. We sat with some friends and worshiped the Lord. I’m grateful for the Cross!

My mother-in-law also came to visit, so she stayed with Lydia while I went to work today (I was on-call). Then, we went to lunch and went shopping! Tonight, we are enjoying a movie together. It was a really nice day after a wild week!

I pray you all have a blessed Easter weekend!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!