Tag: strength

Posted on in Being Gracious, Gratitude, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Personality, Prayer, Wisdom

Led By Peace

This week, I was reminded about the importance of good communication. Basically, this comes down to saying what you mean, and meaning what you say.

Recently, I called someone to check in after receiving a strange text message. How I read the text was not at all how it was intended!

I hoped it was just a misunderstanding, and I was willing to let it go. But, through prayer, I felt the Lord calling me to be brave and do the ‘difficult thing,’ that is not take the easy way out. I am so glad I did!

Yes, I could have just made assumptions and avoided the conversation. But, I took initiative to reach out and clear the air. I accepted what was said about me because that was somewhat true, yet I was concerned about the implications. I simply wanted clarification, not necessarily an apology. 

The relationship is important to me, so I want to preserve it. I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt, but it’s also good to make sure we are on the same page.

Often, we are willing to put up with relationship drama because we want to avoid conflict. I used to be like that more, but I have learned to address things before they fester.

How many times to we let these minor issues become major barriers in our relationships? Or worse, how often do we stay offended and let ourselves be distracted from what’s really important? Do we hinder ourselves from accomplishing greater things because of petty issues?

True peace isn’t the absence of conflict; it’s knowing Jesus is with us in the midst of it all. Additionally, it’s following His plan to resolve our issues, not trying to bring our own resolution. Instead of jumping to conclusions, peace means we rest in God and let Him take care of us!

At the end of the day, it takes courage to speak up and resolve issues before they escalate to conflicts. It takes maturity to believe the best about someone when you are hurt. That doesn’t mean you need to be a doormat or allow drama. Know the difference!

Really, there is no single right answer for each of our problems. Each of us may come to different conclusions based on our personalities or other factors. That’s okay!

But either way, we need God’s wisdom to know when to let things go and when to speak up. As long as we are in tune with what He is doing in our lives, we will know the right path to take. He will lead us, and we can follow the path of peace.

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Father God, thanks for all You do for me. Thanks for helping me walk Your path of peace and for giving me strong relationships. May I be a good friend to others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you one who avoids difficult conversations or runs into them head-on? How do people generally respond to your approach? Is it effective or can you tweak it a bit?

Tasks: Take some time and evaluate the significant relationships in your life. This may include friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers. Be willing to make changes, if needed, including having difficult conversations you may have been putting off.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

What You Make of It

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” Henry Ford is given credit for this quote, and he was known for his ingenuity with cars and assembly lines. I’m sure he knew what he was talking about!

In my opinion, this quote isn’t just for accomplishing tasks or becoming successful. It also applies to our attitudes. Life is often what you make of it!

In America, the Land of Opportunity, this is especially true.

Whether you like it or not, today is Inauguration Day! Regardless of how you think or feel, it is a part of our American democracy and process. History is being made, and that is worth celebrating!

Over the next four years, we are in for something different. Good or bad, time will tell how it all shakes out. But, we can be sure God already knows. And, we know that He loves each person, whether they are leaving the White House or coming into it.

While the American political administration is changing hands today, God never changes. In fact, our American ideals (such as freedom, justice, and independence) originate with Jesus. His perfect plan still stands.

In the meantime, we have work to do. In fact, it will take all of us working together.

I’d love to say the next four years will be easy, but I’ve been around long enough to know that’s likely not true. We may not like all that happens or agree with choices made.

You may be thrilled or unenthused about the change in administrations. But, how you spend the next four years is up to you. You have a choice to make between GRRR or GRACE.

Your attitude will largely determine how you experience the next four years. Regardless of who you voted for, it’s your make or break moment. The outcome is up to you!

I am walking into this with hope and humility.

I am praying, and I am doing my part. I will respect the authority of our government, and I will trust that God will use all of this for good.

I will not expect things to change overnight, but I will be patient and keep praising God.

I will not stir up strife, but I will be a peacemaker and spread joy. I will show grace to those who think (or vote) differently than I do. Ultimately, I represent Christ.

In short, I will keep on keeping on! I will continue living well and making wise choices. I will continue looking out for those in need. I will do my best to bring change and have difficult conversations. I will remain open-minded and find the good!

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Father in Heaven, we need Your help and guidance. Lord, have mercy on our nation and protect us. Draw us close to You and heal our hearts. May we follow after You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you plan to watch the US Inauguration? Do you know anyone in the National Guard who is there today?

Task: How you approach each day is so important. Regardless of whether you are happy or upset today, consider flipping the switch. Choose the joy that comes from trusting God!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

GRRR or GRACE?!

How are you doing this week? There is a lot of heavy stuff going on.

With all the drama and anger and angst in recent days (amid real, practical concerns), I can’t help but think we might be missing the point. Are we playing into the Enemy’s hand, helping him reach his goal of distracting everyone from what’s really important?

May we be wise as serpents and innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16).

We are called to stand for justice and freedom, among other things. But we need to do it the right way, with love, respect, kindness, mercy, grace, and “salt.” If we’re not careful, we will only be a resounding gong and drag the Name of Jesus through the mud.

Now, I am not telling you to be silent if God Himself is telling you to speak up. But we are still only messengers, instruments of grace. Our goal should be to bring people to Jesus and let Him sort it all out.

Also, I am not telling you to disengage or ignore what is going on. The Spirit of Antichrist is on the move. But this is nothing new. It has been foretold for thousands of years. Yes, current events play into it, but this is only the beginning of the end.

It will get worse, and I am simply asking you to be wise. Each of us was born into the modern era for such a time as this. Ask God what His purpose and plan is for YOU.

You don’t have to think like me or do what I do. I am just asking you to truly look at all sides of each issue and understand what is at stake. Be willing to have difficult conversations, without losing control of your emotions. Don’t be cocky or insincere.

Boldness looks different for each of us, but compassion is always in style. Instead of telling someone how they should react, ask, “What is God telling you…?”

Perhaps that will be the most productive conversation you have today!

Soooo… Are we living with a spirit of GRRR (yes, just like it sounds), or are we living by God’s GRACE?! As you can probably imagine, GRRR is based on our physical and emotional reactions, our preferences. GRACE as you may recall, is God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.

A spirit of GRRR is just that. Walking around grumbling and complaining, not really adding anything of value but detracting from the main issues. Getting stuck on petty arguments (having to be right) and getting upset when things turn for the worse. Feeling stress and anxiety for things that are outside your control.

A spirit of GRACE means relying on God to get you through. Trusting that He is with you and for you. Acknowledging His presence and provision. Praising Him, God even when things get tough. Keeping your focus on Jesus, not all the noise. Knowing you don’t have to have all the answers because He is all you really need.

Jesus is the source of all grace and truth. We were bought at a price. We are dead to our own desires and alive in Christ. His agenda is what matters, not ours. That is, loving people sacrificially and drawing them to Himself.

Before you click share on that hot-topic article, THINK through these questions:

Are we making the most of our time, becoming like Jesus?

Are we extending the benefit of the doubt toward those who disagree?

Are we accepting responsibility for being the change we want to see?

Our Sovereign Father cares for us. He has not abandoned His children or left us to fend for ourselves. He will enable us to endure. Let’s show His lovingkindness to a hurting world.

Life is short. Live it well.

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God, thanks for Your love and grace. Lord, have mercy on our nation. We need You! May we live to bring glory to You. May we spread your joy and peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What about today’s post spoke to you? Are you living with GRRR or GRACE?

Tasks: Next time you read something that sets you off, ask yourself why. Notice your emotional response and what it does to you physically. Take 15 deep breaths and see if your heart rate goes down again. Pray before responding, if you respond at all.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

A Path Forward

While last year, 2020, was a bust for many reasons, it was not all bad. For some people it was their worst year in recent memory, but that does not mean nothing good happened.

Each person deserves to feel and grieve however works best for them. The important thing is to actually deal with those emotions in healthy ways. If you’ve lost a loved one or a job or an important opportunity or event, it’s 100% normal to be sad or upset.

But, don’t toss aside what remains.

Whatever happens, God is holding you. Draw closer to Him, so He can help you get through it. Where there seems to be no way, He will make a path for you.

I did not make any resolutions for the new year. There are so many potential opportunities to make changes, but it seems most people try to do too much all at once and then quit. Instead, I have found making small, sustainable decisions can lead to long-term habits and success. Being consistent helps!

This year, I am reading through the Chronological NLT Bible again with friends. I really enjoy the materials from Aaron at biay.org, but this year, I am adding another resource, too. A journal and videos from Read thru the Word by Word Up Ministries.

Reading the Bible is a daily habit worth cultivating. In His wisdom, God’s Word has something new for us each time we read it. There’s always something to learn! The Bible was not meant for us to keep it on the shelf!

This week, I was reminded we don’t read the Bible just to learn nice lessons or learn about self-improvement. We read to learn Who God is and understand His character. This helps us understand His love and goodness.

When we know the heart of God, we can accept that His ways are higher than ours. We don’t have to get bent out of shape when our circumstances change, or are about to change. Trust in the Lord!

Each journey around the sun carries new opportunities. We only have so much time on this Earth, but each day is a new chance to cling to the Lord and all of His promises.

What are you bringing into this new day, or new year?

You could take fear, anxiety, and worry. You could also pack in some anger, bitterness, and resentment. Those are a little heavy, but somewhat understandable.

Or, you could bring faith, joy, peace, and gratitude with you! These are a much lighter load, and by God’s grace, they will give you the boost you need to keep moving forward.

The stakes are higher than ever, but we can trust God is in control. Let Him show you how to make lemonade on His terms. He’s got this.

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God, thanks for bringing us through many trials and troubles. You are so faithful and good! Help us trust You for greater things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do your goals, plans, and dreams fill you with faith, joy, peace, and gratitude? Or, are you stuck because of fear, anxiety, worry, anger, bitterness, or resentment? What are you going to do with this knowledge?

Tasks: As you are setting up goals for the year, remember to run your plans by God first! Trust Him to take care of you regardless of ever-changing circumstances.

Posted on in Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Prayer, Wisdom

Jesus AND Science

NOTE: I know many people are on the fence about the coronavirus vaccine. I decided to gather some of my thoughts here, as best I could, to document and explain why I chose to receive the vaccine. If it helps you decide one way or the other, great! No pressure here. Each of us must make our own decisions. Thanks for reading!

A couple of days ago, on Monday afternoon, I received the Moderna COVID vaccine at work. By the time I stood in line for it, I was excited and totally at peace. I didn’t receive the injection on a whim or without purpose. I did my due diligence!

Like many people, I was originally hesitant when I first heard about these vaccines. Why inject something if it isn’t necessary? I started by praying about what to do.

Then, I read many articles online and filtered through just as much misinformation. I realized without the vaccines, even more unnecessary deaths will happen. In the process, I found some really good resources.

For instance, I have found deplatformdisease.com quite helpful. It takes scientific information and makes it accessible to the general public. It explains the disease process and other things, like what antibodies and antigens are, in simple terms.

I also appreciated learning more about Operation Warp Speed, a collaboration between the US Department of Health and Human Services and the US Department of Defense, among others. I am amazed at how everything came together for this all to be successful. To me, it’s God’s hand at work giving scientists the ability to create vaccines and work together. I don’t see vaccines as a threat, but rather a great blessing.

In particular, I loved learning what happened behind the scenes. The researchers were already working on a similar coronavirus vaccine and were able to transfer their energy and resources accordingly. Due to the magnitude of this illness and its crippling effect on society and the economy, those in charge were able to cut through bureaucratic barriers, too. Thankfully, increased funding helped focus their efforts on finding a solution sooner.

With an abundance of volunteers, the first COVID trial started in March! Normally, each trial would conclude with review and more research before the next one would start. But, this time, they did the review and extended research concurrently while planning for each of the next phases. Genius!

Instead of taking 70+ months, the vaccines took about fourteen months to complete and get approved (on an emergency basis). To the public it may seem rushed, but actually, it was not. No corners were cut in the vaccine trials. In fact, multiple vaccines (similar, yet distinct) and the huge number of people in the trials makes the numbers even more reliable.

I think of it like this: If I were to host a party, I would have to prepare by completing several different steps in order. I would think about the menu and who to invite. I would look for recipes and do a quick inventory of ingredients. Then, I would go to the store, purchase everything, go back home, unpack everything. Then, I would have to wash, chop, and cook, the ingredients, not to mention plate all the dishes, set the table, clean the house, and answer the door.

Now imagine if I already had several recipes in mind and already had the supplies on hand. Wouldn’t that speed up the planning process? And, if I asked for help, my guests could each bring a dish, leaving me to focus on other important details. So, perhaps I spent just as much effort on the overall party, but I found several ways to save time and got others to pitch in. No cutting corners, just using my resources wisely and efficiently!

It is heartwarming to see relief and tears of joy when those at highest risk get the vaccine. That said, the vaccine may not be for everyone. If people have severe allergies, they should weigh the pros and cons and discuss options with their healthcare provider. There may be other factors, as well. Each person should choose what works best for them.

For me, all of the information (and prayers) lead me to take a step of faith. I refuse to live in fear, so I let God lead me. I trust Him to protect me either way, but when He provided the opportunity through my job, I decided it was good timing.

A couple of months ago, my parents each contracted COVID despite taking all precautions. My dad had a moderate case, while my mom’s health turned more severe. It was quite scary when she could barely catch her breath on the phone!

During the recovery process, my mom told me, “Do whatever you can to avoid this.” I have not sought my mom’s opinions about the COVID vaccines, but her advice rang true.

All this time, I have been going to work and sending Lydia to daycare. I’m so grateful for that stability, but we do have increased risks of getting sick. As a mom, I was happy to take the vaccine and minimize my chances of bringing home COVID to Lydia.

Sure, if we were to get sick, we’d probably be fine. But, there are no guarantees.

At the end of the day, we each have a decision to make. It’s not just “vaccine or no vaccine,” but how shall we live and move forward?

Our decisions continue to affect others, so it makes sense to lovingly protect as many people as we can. Wash your hands, wear a mask, keep social distancing, etc. It has been a difficult year, and while there is still work to do, these vaccines feel like light at the end of the tunnel. My sore arm feels worth it!

As we step into this new year, I’m praising God for giving us humans the ability to reason, understand the world He made, and create timely solutions to complex problems!

Yes, we can celebrate both Jesus AND science!

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God, thanks for providing for me and and keeping me safe. Help me to be wise and considerate toward others. Give me confidence to go against the grain when needed! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you enjoy reading about trending topics in science or do you avoid them altogether? Have you researched the pros and cons for your current health choices?

Tasks: Review some of the pink links in the post above. Discuss options with your healthcare provider. Don’t forget to pray about next steps ahead of time, so you are prepared to make the best decision for yourself and your family if/when the time comes. God bless you and keep you safe!

Posted on in Food and Nutrition, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Don’t Just Settle for Snacks

Ahh, the holidays! A wonderful time of the year, full of snacks and treats! I have already received some delicious Christmas treats, both at my door and through the mail!

As a Registered Dietitian, I always recommend eating regular meals to my clients and patients. Yet, many people eat only one or two meals per day. Or, they eat in front of the television or while distracted. Then, they snack late into the night. Their whole day can be thrown off by poor habits and not eating well.

No judgment here… this happens to all of us from time to time. It is so common! As it is, many people need to rely snacks to reach their unique health goals.

Some people want to manage chronic diseases, like diabetes or kidney failure. Others want to lose weight or have more energy. Snacks can help some people achieve their goals. Even so, if they are not careful, too many snacks can hinder their progress!

If someone fills up on snacks all day, they may not be hungry for a meal. Or, if they do eat regular meals, too many snacks can still add up in calories.

Keeping a food journal could be helpful to track the trends, eating on real plates with real forks or spoons, or maybe just paying attention to natural hunger cues will help.

Some people mistake treats for snacks. I love treats, too, but the difference is snacks are ideally foods to fill in the nutritional gaps between meals. For instance, fresh vegetables and hummus, or yogurt with berries, or a few small pieces of cheese and crackers, or an apple with peanut butter.

Treats, on the other hand, are just that… treats. Not meant for every day, but rather a special occasion. Treats are “sometimes foods.” If one’s daily food intake allows for extra calories, perhaps they can squeeze in a couple of treats. Yum! But most of the time, we should be choosing snacks over treats.

If it’s your birthday, go for it! Celebrate your birthday. But, if your birthday happens five days a week, that’s becoming a habit. The things we do everyday have the most impact.

At the end of the day, it is important to have balance.

Spiritually, we can also load up on too many snacks instead of a meal. We can settle for little tidbits of Scripture or songs on the radio, without really chewing on God’s word. This is especially true when we are stressed or running around with too much activity.

Some days, I’m just as guilty as the next person. In our fast paced world, we need to be intentional with our time. Otherwise, we might miss Jesus altogether!

Let’s take time to ‘set the table,’ be still and focus on God. Then, and only then, will we have the strength to do all else that’s needed. But we can’t skip first things first. Jesus!

This season, take time to really feast on all of God’s goodness and grace. Read the Bible with a fresh perspective. Sit awhile with Jesus or take a walk with just Him.

Don’t settle for just snacks!

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Lord, may we hunger and thirst for Righteousness. You are the Giver of all good things. Everything we need is in You! Fill our lives with more of You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you like snacks in addition to your meals? What’s your favorite snack and/or holiday treat?

Tasks: Set aside fifteen minutes (to start) to read God’s Word each day. Lay aside your electronics and sit in peace. For the Christmas story, read Luke Chapter 2.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Words

Get A Grip!!

Last week, my coworkers and I received training on a device that measures grip strength. The tool is called a dynamometer (say that three times fast!). There are other types that measure torque for engines, but, in healthcare, they are much more simple.

Dietitians use dynamometers to measure changes in grip strength over the course of time. We had fun figuring out the devices and practicing our skills on each other.

Through assessing grip strength, we can see changes in overall functional status and assess a patient’s risk for malnutrition. If you have lost a lot of strength in your hands, you have most likely lost strength elsewhere. Not to mention balance and coordination of major muscle groups. Think… stairs and fall risks.

Plus, if you are having difficulty opening jars and cans, or spreading peanut butter, or carrying heavy pots and pans, you may not be getting much variety in your diet. So, this could lead to other nutrition concerns, as well. Needless to say, building and keeping our strength is important!

While we were learning, the phrase “get a grip” came to mind. This translated to thoughts about how it might pertain to both God and life!

“Get a grip!” is often said in regards to someone losing it. In this context, it is most likely said in reference to a mental or emotional battle. However, that’s not really a fair assessment, as our individual struggles can’t really be measured from the outside.

We each face life with different coping skills, too. If two people are facing the same challenge, one person may fly through it and the other person may crawl. Especially during the holidays, in pandemics, and in times of grief.

Fear, anxiety, or worry all can build up and make us lose our focus. Or, we can feel out of control when we let obstacles overwhelm us. If this cycle continues, it can keep us from making progress in life.

Thankfully, our weaknesses are no match for God’s strength!

The Bible is full of verses about the strength of God’s hand. He is quite formidable toward those who are against Him. But even amid conflict and trials, He never stops thinking about and protecting His loved ones.

Psalm 138:7 (NIV), says, “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes; with your right hand you save me.”

When God gets a grip, He never lets go! From my limited human point of view, I imagine this looking like a REALLY BIG bear hug.

To anyone who messes with us: “Don’t you dare mess with her!! Get out of here!! She’s mine!!”

And to those He loves: “Come here, dear child. Rest easy. I’ve got you right here, protected. You are mine.”

Whatever you are dealing with today, or this season, or this year, you don’t have to handle it on your own. Give it to God. He will sort through the mess and give you rest and peace. He will hold you close and give you His strength.

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God, thanks for taking such good care of us! You go before us and fight our battles. Please give us wisdom and courage as we rest in your grace and peace. Surround us with Your love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you ever used a dynamometer? For engines or hand grip?! What comes to mind when you hear “get a grip?” How can you bring your worries to God today?

Tasks: Remember the impact our words can have on others. “Get a grip” comes in many other flavors, such as “get over it” and “move on already.” Be gentle and gracious.

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

Paper Chains and Peace

You’ve probably heard the saying, “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change.” Just about everything cycles back around, including emotions, birthdays, and holidays. There are seasons of much and seasons of little.

There are days we can’t get enough of something, and there are days we get tired of the very same thing! Excitement gets balanced by apathy, as the newness wears and off, and becomes, well, old. But, like most things, soon we start the cycle again.

As we start December, I am grateful. I’m praising God that when everything else changes, He remains the same. Jesus is our one constant in amid chaos and change.

Whether I am having an awesome day or a less-than-stellar day, He is there. When I feel on top of my to-do list, or when I can’t even find my to-do list, Jesus is my guide.

As we head into the Christmas season, remember you don’t have to have it all together. Grief can be particularly difficult during the holidays. It’s okay not to be okay. Especially this year!

But, when darkness presses in, cling to Jesus, the Light of the World. 

Also, don’t be afraid to switch it up. Certain traditions can take a break if needed. If that happens, perhaps even some new memories will be made!

Maybe, like me, you are keeping the decorations simple. Going through a pile of memories and ornaments isn’t always helpful, so this year, we opted for a red, white, and green paper chain while watching Home Alone. We may still add a few ornaments, when we get the time, but I am giving myself the grace to just see what happens. No pressure.

For anyone struggling this season, it’s okay to feel how you feel. Just remember to take it to Jesus. He loves you more than you can understand, and He knows exactly what you need. That’s why He came… to save us and help us. He is our Living Hope!

I’m grateful that Christmas is not about the decorations, gifts, or even the wonderful Christmas music. It’s about God seeing our pain and suffering and sadness, and then doing what only He could do to bring peace, healing, comfort and joy… for good.

Christmas is all about Jesus; some people will understand that this year more than ever. There are many beautiful aspects of the season, but let’s keep it simple and focus on Jesus. Just like the song, O Holy Night, says, “fall on your knees” and worship Him!

Only He can make all things right in due time.

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God, thank you for Jesus and all He is to us! Thank you that He came to save us, something we could never do on our own. Lord, You are so good. Help us glorify you in all things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you already started decorating for Christmas? Are you planning to keep all your special traditions this year… or switch it up?

Tasks: I challenge you to rethink your traditions and why you do them. Do they honor God and family, or are they really just a distraction? Pick your best options and consider letting go of the rest (at least for this year).

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Special Days Are Still Difficult

As I previously mentioned, Lydia’s 9th birthday was last weekend! We had a fun day together, as you might expect. But, as the evening wore on and bedtime grew close, Lydia started feeling sad.

Perhaps she was already feeling sad, but she didn’t say anything earlier in the day. We were watching “Jingle Jangle” on Netflix, and I thought everything was going well. But toward the end of the show, Lydia started softly crying.

She said the show was sad, although I hadn’t noticed anything overly sad about it. It could have been the fact that it was growing late, or maybe it was just coming down after a high point (celebrating her birthday). Either way, I still needed to help her understand and deal with her emotions.

I silently prayed for help and asked Lydia to share what was on her mind. She couldn’t quite express her thoughts, so I asked a few questions to get her talking. She missed her dad, my late husband, Dave.

Soon, I remembered I had some of Dave’s clothes, saved for this very reason. Around seven years ago, I had packaged up a medium-sized box of his favorite shirts and a pair of jeans, so Lydia could one day understand more about how tall he was and his interests.

I asked Lydia if she wanted to see the clothes, and naturally, she said yes. Going through the box was bittersweet… and, I had to explain what that word means. Each piece of clothing brought back specific memories with Dave or reminded me who he was.

To me, the saddest part of all is that Lydia doesn’t have memories of Dave. She just has his clothes, his pictures, and other people’s memories. Nonetheless, I validated Lydia’s emotions and acknowledged that it was normal to feel sad, angry, or even a sense of unfairness. As she grows, so does her grief.

I offered to wash her Daddy’s clothes so she could hold them close. Just about every week, she wears her Caterpillar sweatshirt and a couple of t-shirts honoring Dave. She quickly asked if she could wear them around the house or to sleep in some of them. Sure!

I started a load of laundry, never thinking I would wash those items again… Then, I coached Lydia how to handle those difficult emotions.

I explained that some people want to run away from their emotions or numb the pain in various ways. But that doesn’t really take care of the problem, it just prolongs it.

I encouraged Lydia to do the following. We can:

  1. Draw near to God, asking Him to help us through the pain. We can tell Jesus all about it. He understands and knows exactly what we need.
  2. Share our pain with someone trustworthy. Our feelings are not the only thing, but they still are valid. Not everyone will understand, but find someone who will let you cry it out, if needed, and who won’t just tell you to get over it.
  3. Sit with the pain, as long as needed. Just let it be. Try to get to the root of the problem to understand how to deal with it appropriately.
  4. Then, find someone else you can help with the lessons you learned. Be gentle and don’t assume that everyone wants to be helped. Trust God to use your pain to bring comfort and peace where it is needed most.

Lydia and I sat on the couch for quite awhile, maybe an hour. My legs were falling asleep, as she was snuggled on my lap. It was well past bedtime when I finally turned out her light. Parents want to shield their children from pain, but there are still some situations where that’s not possible.

The next day, I gave Dave’s clean clothes to Lydia. She embraced them and took them straight to her room. She picked out the largest sweatshirt she could find and wore it the rest of the day. She even slept in it and said she had the best sleep ever. Thank You, Jesus!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and that will look dramatically different for many of us. For me and Lydia, it’s par for the course. We’ve had seven years to adjust, but then again, we’ve been adjusting for seven years! Special days are still difficult at times.

This year, people around the world are missing their loved ones who either passed from COVID or who are socially distancing to protect themselves or others. I’m so sorry.

In the struggle, remember it’s normal to feel how you feel. Let it out and deal with it in healthy ways. Pray, journal, call your loved ones, take a nap, go for a walk, etc.

Also please remember you are loved. You are not alone. We are in this together, and God is here with us. Despite all we have lost, we still have so much to be thankful for.

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God, thanks for always being there for us, in the good times and bad. Thank you we can draw near to You at any time of day, no matter how we are feeling. Please be with each of us, and wrap us in Your love and grace. Help us keep our eyes on You, not our circumstances. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you altering your plans this holiday season? What is your favorite tradition, and can you put a new spin on it? What are you most thankful for this year?

Tasks: Make a gratitude list, or write down what is going well. Be on the lookout for ways you can encourage others. You might be surprised how God uses your pain to help someone else!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous

Freedom Isn’t Free

A little over a year ago, I started working with Veterans. Since then, I have learned several facts and statistics about them. For example, Veterans have higher risks of suicide, diabetes, obesity, and homelessness.

Veterans come from many backgrounds and cultures. In America, we can’t always tell if someone has served in the US military by the way they dress or act. They may walk with their head held high, or they may walk with a limp. Unless, they wear a hat or t-shirt, or have a bumper sticker, or proudly tell you, that is.

However, I have started to notice certain signs. If a man is of a certain age, chances are he served in World War II, for instance. Things were different back then, but even women volunteered!

Similarly, I sometimes wonder if that homeless man on the curb with the sign is a Veteran. I also wonder if a person with an artificial arm or leg lost it in combat. Or, if the issues they face know are worse because of their time serving our country.

Perhaps not, but it does make me thankful for what I have… and for the sacrifices our brave Veterans have made.

When I think of those sacrifices, I am reminded that freedom isn’t free. In May, we remember those who have lost their lives in service to our country, but in November, we remember all who served.

Some Veterans (and current soldiers) gave life or limb, but all have given up time with family and friend, education and careers, free time, and even the ability to just relax.

Each week, I educate, listen, and counsel men and women who put their lives on hold to fulfill a greater purpose. Some were drafted/mandated, but many volunteered.

I feel privileged to be able to give back to them.

As you go about your day, think of all the activities you enjoy doing without even thinking twice about them. Besides, free speech, the right to bear arms, and the right to vote, there are many other rights and privileges we use everyday.

Do you sleep in when you get the chance? Do you enjoy your coffee while watching the sunrise? Do you take your time while reading the news or taking a shower?

Do you exercise when you feel like it, and watch movies when you don’t? Do you have time to enjoy your food and pick what you like?

Do you go to the store for groceries or a special treat just because? Do you mostly give, spend, and save on your own terms?

If so, thank a Veteran! Attend a ceremony today or write a thank you card. Our rights and privileges came at a cost… Because freedom isn’t free.

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God, thank You for giving us ultimate freedom and peace through Jesus. Today, we honor all those those who have stood for and protected our freedom in times of war and in times of peace. Lord, we appreciate You and them. Help us walk worthy of the sacrifices made on our behalf. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you a Veteran? Do you have anyone in your family who is a Veteran?

Tasks: Takes some time to ask a Veteran where they served and how. If they are willing to share more, listen and ask thoughtful questions. Consider how your responses to current events may seem to someone who has protected your rights to feel, think, and act how you wish. Don’t take freedom for granted!