Have you ever felt like you are just spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast? Perhaps you are not making progress on your goals due to always being on-the-go, running from one activity to the next. Or, maybe you don’t know which path to take next. Life is full of tough decisions, and sometimes we have to quit what we are doing to regroup. 

This week, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about such decisions. Nothing unusual… just choices that carry weight and impact.

These include decisions regarding finances, education, volunteering, and relationships. Unfortunately, she’s been so ‘busy’ she can’t think straight, and people keep asking her to be involved in activities that are draining her of time, energy, and peace.

Of course, since I am older, I have faced similar circumstances in the past. Each time, I learned invaluable lessons which prompted a new level of growth and maturity.

Examples: Boundaries and the word ‘No’ are powerful!

My friend will have to make her own decisions, of course. I simply mentioned how important solitude had been for me, especially in college when I was trying to make so many of the same decisions.

Being alone is scary for a lot of people, but solitude is different than being lonely.

For me, solitude is taking time away, so I can quit spinning my wheels. Then, I can figure out how I really think and feel. Solitude brings clarity when I am confused because it eliminates the extra noise and distractions. Then, I can weigh the pros and cons.

It took me awhile to be okay with solitude, but it has served me well over the years. Spending time alone has helped me know who I am and who I am not. I have gained insight on my priorities and what I enjoy doing (versus what I happen to do when others are around). Pausing every now and then has helped set the trajectory for my life.

In some ways, solitude primed me for dealing with grief when Dave died because I understood how to pay attention to my feelings and not run away from them. In part, solitude taught me that uncomfortable moments do not last forever. Sometimes, we wish they would hurry on by, but we can grow to appreciate those awkward times, too!

In my case, I am never truly alone because solitude also involves connecting with God through prayer. It may include making lists or taking walks in nature, too. Or, perhaps it is an act of solitude to leave work an hour early to sit in the daycare parking lot and journal while listening to music. Yes, solitude is a part of self-care.

Solitude does not mean isolation…. or being alone forever, avoiding other people or their input. It just means hitting the brakes and checking the map to see if you are heading where you intended, or if you need to redirect.

There is no badge for busyness or skimping on sleep. Don’t let other people dictate what you do in life… you are responsible for your own happiness.

Jesus Himself was known for taking time away to spend with His Father. He relied on that quiet time to listen and gather His thoughts. I wonder what happened in those intimate moments between Jesus, His Father, and the Holy Spirit!

Perhaps getting away helped Jesus to refocus on His mission and renew His strength. Either way, He relied on God’s help to accomplish all He did!

These days, I don’t have many opportunities to “get away,” but I am reminded just how vital solitude can be. These skills take time and space and effort, but thankfully, God is always with us! He never leaves us nor forsakes us. He can bring solace in solitude, if only we quit spinning our wheels long enough to listen!

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God, thanks for being our Friend and Guide! May we pause in solitude and gratitude, inviting You to show us what to do next. May we receive Your best. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you enjoy being alone, or do you merely tolerate it when needed? How can you apply the idea of solitude for making decisions?

Tasks: If you have some big decisions ahead of you, take some time to clear your head and pray. Tune your heart to what the Holy Spirit may be telling you. For further reading, check out this article.