Tag: Mom

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Personality, Wisdom, Worship

Defiant Joy

My mom loved a good party! With her magnetic personality, she usually became the social director wherever she went, lol. Like her mother, she enjoyed organizing anything from casual events to formal affairs. But mostly, she enjoyed having fun!

Mom spread joy through classy decor, delicious food, and laughter with her sense of humor. She bought colored tablecloths before they were even a thing. Her centerpieces might include candles, colored gems, marbles, balloons, and/or beautiful floral bouquets. She taught us to wrap up silverware and added a little flare with colored curling ribbon. Music typically set the mood, at least for home parties.

Mom knew how to elevate basic, everyday foods. She was known for her spaghetti sauce, beef stew, potato leek soup, barbecue, egg rolls, and chicken salad. Her infamous relish tray with celery, baby carrots, red grapes, sweet pickles, and olives was a standard we still replicate. She would even “doctor up” mundane foods with fresh ingredients, like fruits or vegetables—anything to add color, flavor, and nutrition.

Everyone was welcome at mom’s events. She wanted to include everyone because she saw their inherent God-given value. She had her own opinions and convictions, but she looked past differences to see the individual.

Mom was bold and generous toward others. She loved shopping for good deals, partly, so she could give away what she bought. She had a little stockpile of things at home and was always prepared with a gift. Mom often interacted with total strangers at the grocery store, gas station, airport, bank, etc. She would notice something special about them and mention it. She asked good questions and connected them with resources, if warranted. 

Mom loved a good outfit accessory. She loved jewelry, sunglasses, hats, scarves, and purses. But, she didn’t hold onto anything too tightly. She often gave away personal items as she felt led in the moment. For example, if you told her you liked her necklace or bracelet, chances were she might just give it to you.

For someone who just met her, it would be easy to assume my mom was only surface-level or light-hearted all the time. Nothing could be further from the truth. While Mom attracted people with her bubbly personality, she could go deep.

Free Cookie Cookies photo and picture

Mom’s personal motto was “Never a dull moment.” She faced many personal challenges, losses, and pain, but she learned to trust God’s goodness and provision through the messiness of life. She knew He would continue fighting for her, so she didn’t have to win every battle.

Instead, my mom used her energy and influence to point people to God. Mom knew joy is not based on circumstances, like happiness often is. Joy is based on knowing the contagious, steadfast love of Jesus. Indeed, He was the most joyful person ever!

This week, I came across a funny video of my mom. It was from her last birthday in October, and I loved hearing her joy and laughter. I imagine her experiencing Heaven the same way. Although I am grieving, I don’t want to miss the chance to celebrate God’s goodness. Indeed, I don’t have to have all the answers to trust Jesus and walk in faith.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for the beauty and joy You instill into our daily lives. Show us Your glory! Help us take advantage of the opportunities You give us and draw closer to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How can you live with defiant joy today, however trying your circumstances? What are you grateful for?

Tasks: Join me in carrying on my mom’s legacy of defiant joy. There is always a reason to be grateful and celebrate! Nice weather, all green traffic lights, met a goal, received a compliment, ate delicious food? Buy yourself some flowers or dance around while praising God! Read this fun throwback about my mom’s epic 60th birthday party.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Personality, Wisdom, Words

Debbie Torpedo

Well, it’s been about a week and a half since my mom, Debbie, went to Heaven. I miss her so much and know I’m not the only one. She was like a mother figure to many people. Mom took many people under her wing and encouraged them. She was gifted at identifying their strengths and helping them grow into who God made them to be.

My family has received many messages from people about how Mom changed the course of their family’s life. She taught a friend to pray in public; now that friend’s son is a pastor. Mom challenged another woman to love her husband by making time for him. That marriage has never been stronger. Mom mentored many and called us all a little higher.

Mom knew how to get right to the heart of the matter. Although she sometimes spoke harsh truths, she did it with love and grace. Her conviction was always mixed with witty charm. I don’t know anyone else who could do that like she did!


Most of us would just keep quiet despite seeing a glaringly obvious problem in someone else. Not Mom. If she loved you, she would not let it go. She would speak up so you could make it right. She was a force, but came from a place of love. Mom wanted the best for and expected the best from her friends and family.

Mom did not worry whether someone liked her. She gave tons of compliments but would also risk telling someone the truth. She did not do it to demean or gloat, but to correct an error. In essence, she loved you too much to leave you that way.

Mom looked sweet, but she could pack a wallop when needed. One of her favorite lines was, “Don’t let the freckles fool you!” Similarly, a dear family friend called her “Debbie Torpedo”—because you never saw it coming!

If you’ve experienced “being laid flat” as I like to say, I’m happy to report that God really refined my Mom over many decades of walking with Him. When I was little, she was still working on controlling her fiery temper… So, I know how it feels! But, as my parents and siblings often discussed later as adults, it was just the forge we needed.

Mom and Dad didn’t set out to raise weak kids who would flounder in the real world. My parents have been through some tough circumstances, and they wanted to prepare us. So they taught us first about Jesus and second about showing up and doing hard things. They promoted independence and standing on our own two feet.


My parents held us to high standards and expected us to rise to that level. For every gift we received, we wrote a thank you note. She would tear it up if it weren’t “thankful enough” or legible, and we would have to start over. We can laugh about it now, but there were many tears. 😉

Mom and Dad didn’t ask us to do anything they weren’t already doing. They lead by example. Mom was well known for writing cards to people. She cultivated this discipline over decades. When her arthritis flared up and she was in so much pain (often daily), she would reach out and bless others.

Indeed, I have learned so much from my mom. At the end of her life (though we did not see it coming), Mom, aka “Debbie Torpedo” still had some of that fire, yet her faith in Jesus tempered it. She was born a fighter, but He made her into a warrior. She did not blame Jesus for the pain or complain about it. She praised Him and blessed others. That’s an example worth following!

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God, You are so good and wise. Thanks for working in each of our lives and transforming us. May we submit to You and use our strengths for Your glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions:  Have you ever had someone speak a harsh truth to you? Was it done in love or spite? Did you resist change or did you grow through the process?

Task: If you want to read my mom’s obituary but haven’t, here it is.

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Pivot, Prayer, Travel, Wisdom

Finding Grace #469

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.
I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!
Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!
This week was bittersweet, a mix of difficulty and blessing. As you may know, my mom died last weekend, a couple of hours after I posted my weekly recap.
So, the week was spent trying to get many things in order! Sunday and Monday were spent packing and planning, contacting people who loved Mom. I also worked a half day to tie up some loose ends. Sometimes, those tasks are helpful when grieving because they give your mind something to focus on. In terms of packing, we essentially threw in the same items from last week and a few more outfits.
On Tuesday morning, we flew to Florida again. This time, we had an early flight and two layovers. Thankfully, we arrived safe and sound and could continue helping Dad plan Mom’s services. It was soothing to go through pictures and remember how much fun we had with Mom. God has come through for us in so many ways.
This week, family and friends from several states gathered together in honor of my Mom. And, today, we had her memorial service at my parents’ local church. They are a very loving group, and it felt good to be amongst those who knew my parents well, even if just for a short while.
Thanks again for all the love and support. I appreciate your continued prayers, especially for my dad, Tom. Life is short, just a vapor, really. Please get to know Jesus and live for Him. And, hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight.
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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!
There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance

Another Homecoming

After a little more than six weeks of health struggles, my mom went Home to be with Jesus late Saturday 2/22. This is our family’s second loss in the last year, my Aunt Deb and now Mom. Still, we have peace knowing they knew Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

Naturally, we are still feeling the shock of it all. Mom was a fighter and did her best. Her health issues did not seem life-threatening at first, but unfortunately they just all added up. In the end, she was granted total healing!

On Sunday 2/23, I wrote the following on my social media account and tagged my mom’s. Please forgive me and keep reading below if you have already seen it. I want to have all of this in one spot so I can reread it whenever needed.

Hello, for all those who love my mom, I want to share that she met Jesus late last night after a brief, but trying, series of health issues.
We did not share much publicly because she wanted to maintain her privacy, and it is just a lot to keep people up to date. But thank you to the dear friends and family who reached out along the way.
After years of living with chronic pain, it would be selfish to ask her to continue in that way, just for us. This was not the John 10:10 life Jesus died to give her, but she’s joyfully experiencing it now! We’re thankful she does not have to suffer any longer.
We know God does not waste our tears or pain. He has been so good and faithful and will always be because that’s who He is. Our hope and trust is in the kindness and wisdom of King Jesus. We will continue to praise Him and bring Him glory.
Philippians 1:21 says, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain.” If you don’t know Jesus, today is the day of salvation.
The Good News, or gospel, is this: “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9) None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so make sure you take care of this, right now even. That would be Mom’s biggest desire to see you in Heaven some day.
Thanks for all your love and support. Please continue to keep us in prayer, especially my dad, Tom, as we figure out the next steps.
Enjoy eternal glory, Mom. You are more alive than ever before. You fought the good fight and finished your race. He who began a good work was faithful to complete it in you. We will miss you dearly, but we know we will see you again! We are so very proud of you. XOXOXO
May be an image of 2 people, people smiling and eyeglasses

My mom was the most unique person I have known. A natural-born redhead, she was feisty and compassionate, filled with kindness and a zest for life. She loved fiercely and spoke her mind. She was bold and decisive but equally funny and generous. You never had to question where she stood on things. She always stood up for the left out, the disadvantaged, and the underdog.

Mom was certainly one-of-a-kind. She was classy and glamorous. She loved reading, animals (especially cats), art and beauty, nature and science, and making things pretty. Mom used her gift of encouragement to brighten the lives of all she met. She sparkled, and this world will never be the same without her. I am sure she’s in awe of Heaven’s brilliant colors, seeing everything from a new perspective now. Her joy is complete!

Mom overcame many challenges that would have decimated anyone else. She clung to Jesus with all she had, and He brought her through time and again. Mom instilled that faith and resiliency in each of us four kids. We are resolved to keep moving forward.


If you read my blog regularly, you will know that since COVID, my family has been doing weekly Zoom calls on Sunday nights. Mom was so appreciative of the time we could spend talking and laughing. Family was everything to her.

I know she was looking forward to being reunited with her parents, her grandparents, Dave, Aunt Deb, and many others. She wisely put her faith in Jesus many decades ago. While Mom was not perfect, she lived for Jesus and loved well.

Last weekend, Lydia and I went to Florida to spend time with Mom and Dad. I cheered her on to eat well, like any good dietitian would! I brought Mom all sorts of foods and watched her enjoy small amounts. She was not feeling well, but we made the most of it. I ran some errands for her and pampered her as well as I could, given the difficult circumstances. We did not know it was our last time together, but God did.

It will be tough for us in the coming days, especially Dad. I’ve lost my spouse, though this is a new loss, too. Nonetheless, Mom did her best to rely on Jesus, and we trust Him with the rest. We needed Him to move, and He did just that. He will continue to work it all out for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28).

Thanks again for all your prayers and support.

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God, thanks for Mom and all the ways You used her to bless others. You are so good, Lord. Comfort us and draw more people to You, as we carry on her legacy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: If you knew my mom, what is your favorite memory of her?

Task: If you don’t know Jesus, make your decision to follow him TODAY. He will bring peace to your life, like you’ve never known before.

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #9

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Mother's Day 2016

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

  • This week oozed with grace. And I certainly felt the need. At every turn, I felt God calling me to let Him handle my concerns. Previously, I would have felt overwhelmed by all the items on my “should-do” list. This week, I purposefully delayed some of those tasks, which included postponing a writing deadline by two days.
  • I was consistently pulled in many directions this week. You too?! But, I laid aside my work to play My Little Ponies and Barbies so as not to miss important moments with Lydia. Yes, she can entertain herself much of the time, but I know these opportunities to connect with her won’t always be there. Someday I will wonder where the time went. Lord, help me stay present!
  • The weather actually got up in the upper 80s/low 90s a couple days this week!! Hot and windy! Lydia and I enjoyed picking up some mulch and other items at a local store. I also bought my first LED lights for inside, so hopefully, I won’t have to constantly change light bulbs. However, I recently changed several around the house, so it might be awhile before I get to use the new LED ones! At any rate, I am thankful for a wonderful house and simple fixes to keep it up and running.
  • Just in time for Mother’s Day, I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my parents on Lydia’s behalf. They came on a day I was frustrated with that pesky “should-do” list. Perfect timing. Lydia surprisingly denied having anything to do with the flowers. Still, I snapped a cute photo (above) of her holding them! 😉
  • In addition to the lovely flowers, I received a handful of thoughtful and heartwarming cards in the mail from close friends and family, acknowledging me as a single mom. Kindness counts. Lydia obviously isn’t able to do much in the ways of gifts, nor do I expect them. But, I love words of affirmation. Thank you to all who sent me encouraging notes!
  • And thanks for reading my Wednesday post, Because He Is Good. I appreciated all your comments and shares—I am eternally grateful that our gracious God redeems our pain and makes beauty from our mess. Even when our plans go awry, He makes all things work out for our good and His glory (see Romans 8:28).

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?