Tag: love

Posted on in Being Gracious, Miscellaneous

Chocolate ‘Kissy’ Things

Recently my daughter, Lydia, and I had conversation that went like this:

“I like those chocolate kissy things,” said Lydia, walking into the office. “But I don’t know what they are called.”

“Do you mean Hershey’s kisses?” I asked, smiling.

“Yes,” said Lydia. “But, you have to kiss them before you eat them.”

chocolate cherry

We weren’t eating chocolate, but clearly she takes after me! Ok, kiss the chocolate before devouring it…Then, on a whim, I asked, “How do you show someone you love them?”

With no prompting, and only a few questions for clarity, Lydia thought about it for a moment and said:

Be kind when you talk to them.

Give them a gift (such as a toy or sticker).

Give them a hug (but be gentle).

You could help them do a puzzle.

Go visit them (on an airplane or in the car).

Lydia’s responses were simple, but somewhat unexpected. It may be a little kid’s perspective, but I think my sweet girl is spot on. In fact, right away, she nailed every one of the five love languages Gary Chapman writes about.

These include words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time. It’s helpful to know the love language of those around us because someone can totally miss—or misunderstand—the treasure you think you’re offering. Knowing someone’s primary love language may even help resolve conflicts.

(Clearly, that is not meant to manipulate a person or situation!)

box of chocolates

Like the best of chocolates, our gifts are meant to be shared. Every day, we have the opportunity to demonstrate God’s love—to be His kiss to the world. Sometimes, as adults, we make it too complicated. Or, we forget about the ‘love part’ and just ‘devour’ people!

Here are five easy ways to love on others:

  • Use your words to encourage people or bring comfort, like a glass of lemonade.
  • Give a gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Share a book or buy a cup of coffee!
  • Show appropriate affection based on the level of friendship.
  • Help someone complete a project or meet a deadline.
  • Spend time doing an activity with someone. Take turns choosing the activity.

There are many ways to show people you love them. Often, it starts with a willing heart to serve. Show up and meet a need. Give to others out of your abundance or out of your ‘personal stash.’ (This is not limited to chocolate…) It might cost your time, effort, or money; but it all counts if done with a loving attitude.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Popular at weddings, these verses (above) make a great check point for daily life too.

Am I being patient? Was that kind? Was I bragging?

How is my attitude? Am I giving the benefit of the doubt? (and so on)

gift

According to 1 John 4, God is love (v8) and now we love each other because He loved us first (v19). Jesus Christ is God’s special gift to demonstrate just how much we are loved. And, He gives us many additional blessings too. But, a gift is useless if left unopened…
Let’s share God’s gifts with others!

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Father God, thank You for Your unconditional love. Help us understand and receive all You have given us. And, help us share Your love with others too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you unwrapped God’s gift(s)—His special kiss to you? Do you know your love language(s)?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Wisdom

Rejoice! God Is with Us!

I previously mentioned this holiday season took me by surprise with the amount of grief I have experienced. I didn’t expect to sail through the holidays, of course. But it’s been more intense and has lasted longer than I expected.

Really, it has been a few months—from Halloween, Lydia’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Dave’s birthday last week, Christmas, to our wedding anniversary coming up in early January. However, God has been faithfully reminding me of His love.

With each year that goes by, Lydia is older, understands more, and asks more questions— especially about Dave and God. In fact, she is talking about Dave nearly every day now.

I’ve heard it is generally wise to explain things to a child at his or her level of understanding. Two years ago, for our first holiday season without Dave, Lydia adored babies. They were her point of reference for everything in her little world. Lydia was very interested in Baby Jesus which helped guide our Christmas conversation.

As she asks me more specific questions about Dave, I point her to Jesus. If Lydia knows who Jesus is and that He is GOOD, she’ll understand that Dave/Daddy is safe with Jesus.

It helps me to reflect on that too.

manger

In explaining the Christmas story to Lydia, I’ve been able to see it through a fresh lens. It is so simple. The word “gospel” means good news… and I can’t think of ANY better news than this! “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:16-17).

While Christmas is still difficult for us without Dave, we celebrate Jesus! Isaiah 9:6 says, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Praise the King of Kings!!

O come, O come Emmanuel!
(third verse)

“O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer,
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.”

Jesus makes all the difference.

Knowing Jesus means that someday I will see Dave and other loved ones again. Because of Jesus, Lydia will get to meet her Daddy again. He gives us Victory over the grave…and grief.

Over these last few years, God challenged and conquered all my fears. I don’t have to be afraid because He is with me. In Christ I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28). With Him, I don’t have to do Life alone. I can have His love, joy, and peace today!

Whatever you are dealing with, take heart. With Jesus, there is HOPE. He brings good news to the poor, comforts the brokenhearted, and sets the captives free. He gives us favor with God (see Isaiah 61:1-3). He offers new life and purpose. Jesus changes everything.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

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Thank You, God, for loving us so much. Thanks for Your grace and favor. Help us walk in the freedom You have given us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

This holiday season, I’m enjoying how ecstatic Lydia is for Christmas! She loved decorating her own little tree. At church, Lydia and her friends are practicing Christmas carols to sing in front of our congregation. Yay for sparkly dresses!

Lydia also listens intently to the Christmas carols on the radio and provides commentary. It has made for many interesting conversations. “Mom, is Jesus is the King?” And then, “But Jesus is not the angry king—that was somebody else.” (She was thinking of King Herod!)

Noting Lydia’s interest in Christmas carols, I decided to take her to a special Christmas concert this week. I can’t wait for her interpretation of the songs! Pretty much every song becomes Lydia’s favorite… 🙂

Though, I debated about going at all because this holiday season has taken me by surprise. I have been sadder than I expected due to a combination of factors. Most often, these things don’t cause sorrow. But sometimes, it just all adds up.

It took me awhile to recognize what I was feeling: a new wave of grief. It’s not sadness 24/7, but for me, it ebbs and flows. A dear friend prayed with me, validated my concerns, and made me laugh. Just getting it all out—acknowledging the struggle—was so helpful. Now, my heart is light again.

TidingsofComfortandJoy...

Note these famous words of the Christmas carol, “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.”
“God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan’s power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy”

Christ Jesus brings rest, comfort and joy. He sustains us with His mighty strength. Jesus came to do for us what we could not do for ourselves. What a relief!

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If you are finding it difficult to ‘be merry’ this Christmas season…

Take some time to reflect. Stop and acknowledge whatever you are feeling. It’s okay. Don’t run from your feelings. Allow yourself to feel the emotions (however awful); you’ll ultimately grow stronger. Each time, your heart heals a little more. Trust in God’s timing and love during this tender process. (see Philippians 4:6-8)

Then, call a friend. Share your struggle with someone you trust. There’s no need to bear it alone. Give voice to your pain; call it what it is. Ask God to bring His hope and healing. “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7, NLT).

Also, take good care of yourself. Go to a special event, like a Christmas concert. Buy yourself flowers …or an orange poinsettia! Try this five-day Bible reading plan on grief during the holidays. Maybe take a nap, read a book, squeeze in a walk/run, or get a massage.

Finally, relax your expectations of the season. Celebrate those traditions that bring comfort, and hold off on the others. Keep it simple. Loss affects many people. You might feel better by helping someone else, so find a friend who needs encouragement too.

20151129_170442

If you are comforting a grieving friend or family member, here are some tips for you: Remember everyone’s grief is different. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but it does help. Grief can come at the most random moments—that’s normal. Grief cannot be “fixed” but it’s invaluable to know a good listener. Don’t press them to talk, but let them know you care. Invite them out or bring them a meal. Given the freedom to grieve, the feelings of loss may dissipate sooner.

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God doesn’t expect us to have it all together. So receive God’s grace and come to Him, just as you are. You are dearly loved. He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11)!

Remember: Jesus already knows. And yes, He is the King!

Father God, thank You for Jesus! Thanks for Your peace, grace, and joy. Wrap Your loving arms around those who need comfort and healing during this season. Help them perceive  Your presence and Your love. Give them rest as they wait on You to heal their hearts. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Miscellaneous

Grace and Gratitude: More Than Enough

During the first two years we lived in Fargo, Dave and I were members of a community-supported agriculture (CSA) program. Our CSA delivered seasonal vegetables from spring until fall. We also attended a few “harvest events” where we picked our own veggies—pumpkins, gourds, melons, corn, green beans, onions, potatoes, tomatoes, beets, cabbages, carrots, and more. At times, we could barely shut the car doors!

We ate or froze as much as we could, but still we had so much left. I hate to be wasteful, especially with such nutritious foods. So, we gave away all the surplus. We dropped off bags loaded with ears of sweet corn to our neighbors. Anyone who dropped by to visit left with us saying, “Here, take a bucket of potatoes! Do you like cantaloupe? Please, take two!”

CSA Veggies 2011

I love the parallel between the bounty we experienced and the plenitude in our lives. God blesses us so we can be a blessing to others (see Genesis 12:2). It’s as if each blessing we receive has seeds to share. We cannot contain nor keep them all for ourselves! With gratitude, we can extend God’s love to others.

As we cultivate thankfulness, our lives overflow with joy. As we acknowledge God’s grace and love in our lives, He doesn’t give just a little joy…He gives an abundance! God gives us blessings because of His loving kindness to us. Every good gift is from Him (see James 1:17).

I love these song lyrics by Walt Harrah:

“Think about His love
Think about His goodness
Think about His grace that’s brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure of our Father’s love
Great is the measure of our Father’s love”

As you recall the blessings in your life, write them down. Praise God as you reflect on what He has done for you in the past. Be thankful for the present and look forward to the future. We certainly have a lot to be thankful for.

Giving thanks goes beyond material things. Money cannot buy love, happiness, or gratefulness. Our relationships are the greatest blessings from God. Being together and celebrating His goodness in our lives is more important than the stuff we have.

apple-pie-80102_1280

At Thanksgiving, we visit loved ones and listen to heartwarming stories. We eat delicious food and take part in family traditions. Growing up, my family often had a few extra place settings around the table for friends with nowhere to go for the holiday.

Since college and now in Fargo, I too, have spent many Thanksgiving celebrations with families other than my own. Friends have invited me to their celebrations because of the distance and timing of school or work responsibilities. I’m grateful for the generosity of all those friends, who in many ways have become like family to me.

Hopefully, you’ll see loved ones this week. If not, don’t be discouraged. Instead, take heart. Choose joy. Turn worries into prayers. In every situation, give thanks (see 1 Thess. 5:16-18). God is a good Father and loving Provider. Rest assured there’s a place for you around His table! He longs to fill your life with goodness!

“Let us come before His presence with a song of thanksgiving;
Let us shout joyfully to Him with songs” (Psalm 95:2).

Father God, thank You for the beautiful world You have made. Thank You for providing good gifts to us! Thank You for the love of family and friends. Help us seek Your sweet and refreshing grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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Questions: What is your favorite Thanksgiving memory? What are your greatest blessings? How can you be a blessing to others?

 

Posted on in Miscellaneous, Parenting

Favorite Nancy!

I have aunt whose name is Nancy. Lydia remembers Aunt Nancy reading to her when she came to visit us last year. In fact, Aunt Nancy read just about every book Lydia could find! Then, on our family vacation in July, we saw her again. Later, Aunt Nancy also mailed Lydia some books for us to read.

I also recently met a lady named Nancy at our church. I called her, and left a voice mail. When she returned my call, Lydia got excited (and a bit confused!).

Besides these lovely ladies, we received the book Fancy Nancy from a cousin in the mail. Lydia and I often quote the book to each other, as we really enjoy it!

It’s fair to say the name “Nancy” has been a hot topic around our house!

While I was on the phone with Nancy from church, Lydia was jumping and singing. “Aunt Nancy, Aunt Nancy…. She’s my favorite!”

After I got off the phone, I tried to explain a few things to Lydia. First, we don’t sing loudly when someone is on the phone. Second, there are two different “Nancys.” I explained how Aunt Nancy is my aunt, so she is Lydia’s great-aunt.

I thought I did a pretty good job—until Lydia began twirling and singing again. Loudly. Off-key. “Great Nancy! She’s my favorite! My Nancy! Aunt Nancy, Nancy! I looooove her!”

Lydia will gain better understanding someday. For now, I am going to enjoy her singing…

Zephaniah 3.17

“Great Nancy! She’s my favorite! My Nancy! Nancy, Nancy! I looooove her!” Soon, I was able to envision God doing the same thing. (Though, I doubt He sings off-key!)

The Bible says God delights in each of us. He sings and dances at the thought of me and Y-O-U. Can you sense His excitement?! He protects us and watches over us while we sleep. Even when we are totally unaware, God still adores us.

As if that is not enough, our Creator God is more than able to love each of us in personal ways. It is not good for parents to play favorites—because we don’t do it well. But, Father God, in His grace and wisdom, takes great joy in each of us as individuals.

Do you understand what this means? Yes! YOU are His favorite! (And so am I!) God thinks of you every moment. He has you written on the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16).

But when Life gets tough, it is easy to forget God’s love. We can’t always sense God’s loving presence. But He is there nonetheless. He calls you by name, and has fashioned you for a specific purpose. He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).

So let’s make this personal. Insert YOUR name here, and imagine God singing about you!

“Great ________! He/She’s my favorite! My ________! ________, _______! I looooove him/her!”

Listen. Can you hear it?

Then share this with the next person you see-—more than likely, they need to hear it too.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

When my husband, Dave, received a work promotion in North Dakota, we viewed it as a great opportunity. We sensed God leading us on this journey, yet it was difficult leaving all our loved ones. It was a huge leap of faith into the unknown! Still, I told Dave, “I feel like we will be missing something if we decide not to move.”

This adventure has encompassed more than we ever could have imagined. It’s been a wild ride at times. Perhaps this journey of faith and grace has been the most exhilarating of all. Over the course of a few short years, we experienced several major life events in quick succession. Our relationship with God was the biggest factor in how we made decisions and handled everything. But, that doesn’t mean it was a cakewalk. Not at all!

We were stretched far beyond our normal capacity. It was only by God’s grace we were able to function. Dave took it all in stride. He adapted and determined to live his life no matter what. It was more of a struggle for me. The biggest hurdle I faced was my own fear.

From the time I was little, I was cautious by nature. Part of that may be my personality; but when left unchecked and unquestioned, it became a habit of fear.

Fear and Trust Road Sign

At first, I tried to make sense of Dave’s diagnosis; I was distraught about the possible outcomes. That’s how fear works. It takes small pieces of information and amplifies them. Once our emotions are running high, it can be difficult to calm them down. When Dave was sick, this was a constant battle for me.

In May 2012, a few days after Dave’s diagnosis and first surgery, I sensed God speak to my heart. Distressed, I was praying in my car, on my way home from the hospital.

“I’m going to use this to show you just how much I love you.”

It is important to trust God and seek Him, but I was incredulous. I thought, “What?!

How does this show me God’s love? This is the worst thing imaginable!

If God really loved me, how could He let this happen?”

If you have a fear problem, then you have a love problem.

Fear 1 John 4_18

God graciously used the Truth of His Word to challenge my innermost thoughts. That year, as He uprooted the deepest doubts, I learned vital lessons about God’s character.

1. God is not mad at me. Like a Father, He’s so proud of me, and loves me dearly. (Matthew 3:17)

2. I will never measure up on my own, because I am not perfect. That’s why I need Jesus! So, I can stop fearing mistakes, and just live. (Romans 3:23)

3. Even when we do make mistakes, God is not waiting to strike us with lightning, or punish us for our errors. (Romans 8:1)

4. God is on our side. He is our Helper, Friend, and Advocate. (Romans 8:31)

Through these verses and others, I grew to know God’s love in a fresh way. A deeper revelation of God’s love changed my thinking and my life for the better.

God set me free indeed (John 8:36)! Thank You, Jesus. What grace!

Questions to consider: What fears are holding you back from living a full life?

How can you apply God’s Truth to your situation?