Tag: grief

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Wisdom

New Beginnings and Blessings

This is another red-letter week for me!

First, Monday was my birthday! I received some great calls, texts, emails, cards, FB messages, and really cool gifts. I feel blessed to have so many people cheering me on from around the world. Thank you!

To celebrate, I had lunch with a friend and a fun day with Lydia. The last week has also included a massage, a movie (The Lion King… so good!), pizza with my neighbors, and another friend mowing for me. Life is good!

A couple of weeks ago, it was really touching when Lydia set up a ‘private meeting’ with my mom to discuss my birthday options. She is so thoughtful, and I love the bracelets I received from her (with Mom’s help). We will celebrate with my parents later this week!

I always enjoy looking back on the previous year and seeing all the Lord has done for me and through me. This last year was amazing. I left some big things in God’s hands, and it has been inspiring to see all that has happened as a result of trusting Him more.

Today, I am finishing up my job at a local clinic. This job was a blessing to me after the company bought out my previous job. For me, I felt God ‘grandfathered’ me into the system when many people would have been otherwise cut.

I have appreciated my time there, and I am grateful for my coworkers. God always provides for me, protects me, and prepares me for what is ahead. And, I’m happy to report that next week, I start a new job at the Fargo VA Health System!

This, too, is no coincidence. Years ago, when Dave was very sick in the ICU, my dietitian friend, Laura, gave me a much-needed, well-timed hug and walked into his room with me. Dave was on a ventilator and Laura was able to explain all of his details to me.

Then, this past February, I contacted Laura to explain how much that hug meant to me. It felt like Jesus Himself was embracing me. It was a turning point for me and just what I needed in the midst of such uncertainty.

Similarly, Laura said the experience impacted her and changed how she views patients. It reminded her that those critical patients are someone’s husband, son, friend, not just a calculation, or tube feeding, or problem to be solved.

A few weeks after we talked, I learned that Laura’s two-year-old twin daughter is fighting leukemia. I have been praying for the family, along with several other people I know who are sick.

Then, in early July, Laura contacted me for this opportunity. It just seemed like a good fit, and I trust God is in this. The timing, connection, and even the different job requirements all add up to be a big blessing. The job seems to cater to my strengths, but also will provide a place to challenge myself and grow.

It will be a transition, though, and I appreciate all your prayers! I will be working more hours and days (still part-time), and that means Lydia will need to be in the after-school YMCA program. Thankfully, it is at her school and close to home.

It seems each year, God stretches us a little more than the previous year. Thankfully, it is a slow process. He is so gracious.

Still, I’m so excited to see how we both grow and change. Lydia is a little nervous, but I reminded her that God’s plans for us are good. The best is yet to come!

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God, there is no one like You! You are so good! Thank You for leading me on this new path. Thanks for blessing me with peace, provision, and protection. I commit it all of this to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: As you survey your life, can you see God’s provision and protection? How is He preparing You for greater things? How can you trust Him more?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “God of this City,” by Chris Tomlin.

Posted on in Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

Singing in the Rain

Usually, by this time in July, my grass is crispy and brown. But this summer, we’ve had more consistent rain. We’ve had some big thunderstorms lately, and the grass is still green!

One day last week, I woke up to a gentle rain pounding on the roof. It was still early enough that I could have slept more, but I kept listening to the rain instead.

As I thanked God for the new day, I heard a little bird singing in the rain!

What a cool surprise! Between the rain and my excitement about the little bird, I couldn’t sleep anymore. The bird caught my attention because it chose to sing instead of retreat.

The steadfast song really made my day. I don’t know if the bird expected the storm or if it caught him by surprise. But, I’m sure it thrilled God’s heart to hear him sing his heart out!

We have a similar choice to make.

When storms come, we can retreat into our comfort zone. Or, we can look beyond our difficulties and sing about God’s faithfulness and goodness.

Singing in the rain and stepping into uncertainty is not for the faint of heart. It takes a fair amount of grit to persevere. In fact, many of the beloved old hymns were written out of excruciating heartache. Despite all odds, these famous songs are filled with the truth of God’s loyal love.

For example, the author of “It Is Well with My Soul” suffered great loss including the death of five of his children. The song was his response to the painful tragedy. Powerful.

The author of “Amazing Grace” also recorded his thoughts and feelings of gratitude after God saved him from a life of sin and disgrace.

There is freedom when we see storms of life as opportunities to sing and shine for God. We release ourselves to God’s care and shift the burden back to Him, where it belongs. Then, He gets the glory for what happens next.

Peace comes when we realize we don’t have to figure out all the details. God already knows what to do. He is more than capable, and His mercies are new every morning.

God is worthy of our praise no matter what circumstances we’re facing. He is faithful and true. So come as you are… He longs to be with us, help us, and show us His loyal love.

Rest assured… it’s okay if you can barely carry a tune! All of us can still make a joyful noise. Let’s use whatever gifts we have and praise the Lord. 🙂

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Heavenly Father, thanks for your mercy and grace! We have so much to be thankful for, despite life’s challenges. Open our eyes so we can see all of Your goodness. We’ll give You all the glory and praise. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you a bird watcher? What can you praise God for today?

Tasks: Make a list of all you are grateful for, and start singing your praises! If you don’t know where to start, try Psalm 117.

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Worship

Sweet Celebrations

Here we are in July! This summer, I feel more relaxed yet more proactive than I have in the past. I am content to go with the flow, but I am also making plans and stretching myself more than normal. It feels good.

This feels like a season of celebrating for me. Each year that goes by, grief seems less strong. I don’t define my life by losses or challenges, but I am now grateful for them.

Right now, I am celebrating that Lydia is able to do more on her own. She can read to herself and is growing in independence. It’s a challenge at times to see her make mistakes, but she is growing and learning through it all. I’m so proud of her!

This summer, reading with Lydia is a joy. It has been so fun to see her interest in the stories. She can identify with the characters and is shocked when they go through their own trials. It is interesting how she is learning life lessons through fictional friends.

I’m really grateful for where we are right now. I know life constantly is changing, but God has us in a good spot. We are reaching out to those around us and have a lot going on, but we aren’t chaotically busy.

With the slightly slower pace, Lydia and I are enjoying good food, friends, being outside and being together. I’m loving fresh fruits and vegetables! She’s enjoying ice cream treats…

This summer, I’m learning a new level of trusting God. I always feel like I have a lot of personal responsibility as a single parent, and it is sometimes overwhelming. I’m being more intentional with my time, and there is freedom in not having to figure it all out.

I’m also celebrating sweet answers to prayer. Lately, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to see God come through for me in ways that I could have never predicted. Praise the Lord!

God always is working in our lives, but when we cooperate with Him, it goes much better! 😉 We do our part, and He does His. He is faithful.

This week, as we celebrate our freedom(s), take time to celebrate what God is doing around you. Praise Him for His goodness and faithfulness. Rest in His love, grace, and peace. He is so good!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for the freedom and protection we have in Christ Jesus. Thanks for all you are doing in our lives right now. Help us trust You for greater things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have any 4th of July plans? How are you celebrating God’s grace in your life?

Tasks: ‘Let go and let God’ take care of all that concerns you. Imagine how freeing it will be when you see Him move on your behalf. Trust Him!

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

On Being Content

This week I am doing another YouVersion Bible plan with friends. It is called, “The Power of Christian Contentment,” by Andrew Davis. It is so good. 

For this post, I wanted to capture a few of my thoughts in one spot. Contentment is a lifelong pursuit, so this simple post is by no means exhaustive.

The author talks about how rare contentment really is. I never thought about it that way. But I know many people (even Christians) who are mad at God for how life has turned out. They blame Him for what did or did not happen.

They choose to grumble and complain, but they refuse to take responsibility for their role in it. Not everything is someone’s fault, of course, but we have to do our part.

Sometimes, evil things happen and it seems like God has failed us. But God’s love never fails. He is always good, even when life doesn’t make sense. He is trustworthy!

To me, contentment means having peace and joy while going at God’s pace. It’s trusting Him, by not rushing ahead or setting lofty expectations, nor getting overly discouraged when disappointments come. We can’t avoid ups and downs entirely, but we can control our reactions.

The author mentioned that it takes supernatural effort to be content. Without Jesus, it seems we are always lacking something. In Jesus, we have everything we need. That doesn’t mean life is perfect, but He is with us and helps us through each of life’s challenges.

We weren’t meant to live with anger, anxiety, or fear!

God never sends bad or evil things upon His children. But, He will use everything (good or evil) for our benefit. Only He can orchestrate each of our paths and help us navigate life’s ups and downs while still bringing good out of it ALL! Wow!

The author mentioned the Apostle Paul and all he went through in spreading the gospel. To start, Paul was imprisoned, beaten, and shipwrecked. Eventually, he was executed.

Contentment is a lifestyle, an attitude, and a choice. Whether Paul had a lot or a little, was hungry or fed… in every circumstance, he persevered and learned to be content (Philippians 4:11-13).

In the ancient town of Philippi, Paul shared the gospel with a crowd. A woman named Lydia chose to believe the message and receive Christ. On Sunday, MY Lydia jokingly said, “No, they have it all wrong. She wasn’t from there, she was from North Dakota!”

It was funny, but it made me think. How often do we try to change or interpret God’s word to fit our goals and plans? We need to align ourselves with the Truth, that is Jesus!

Contentment comes when we know God’s heart for us and accept His path. It is not dependent on how much physical wealth we have or how little. It is not dependent upon whether or not all your personal dreams come true.

We can be content when our day takes a drastic turn. We can hold our tongue when people gossip about us. We can accept God’s will when we are not promoted or plans fail, knowing He has something better. We can maintain our joy, even when we have to make toast in the bathroom.

We can follow God wholeheartedly, even in the midst of pain. In fact, choosing to praise Him while suffering often brings an even better opportunity to show His goodness!

God loves working on our behalf despite the odds against us! That’s when His power shines bright and He gets all the glory! Woohoo!

We learn about God’s love by spending time with Him in two-way prayer, reading His Word and applying it, and learning to trust and obey the Holy Spirit.

Jesus showed us how to be content. He chose to follow His Father’s will, even to the cross. It would have been much more pleasant (for Him), had He done His own thing.

Jesus knew what was at stake, and He was strong to the end. Can you imagine how the story would have changed if all He did in Scripture is whine and complain?! Yikes!

Our Heavenly Father always does what is best for us. It’s our job to agree with Him and not run the show. Life is an adventure… but don’t be afraid. Be encouraged.

Jesus always leads us to Victory! May we be content and live in grace!

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God, thanks for You grace and love. Give us courage to let go and trust You. Help us grow in contentment. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Was this post on contentment comforting, challenging, or convicting? How can you cultivate contentment today?

Tasks: Check out the YouVersion Bible app for great reading plans that speak to everyday life. Invite some friends to join you!

 

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Food and Nutrition, Journey of Grace, Little Free Library, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #167

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week I saw God’s grace all around me. On Sunday evening, Lydia and I were playing frisbee in the front yard when a lady from South Dakota stopped by my little free library! She was searching for the geocache inside and laughed when she found it. She was visiting family in Fargo and commented on the variety of books inside the LFL. It was gratifying to see her enjoy herself.

On Monday, I walked Lydia and a friend to the park in our neighborhood. It was a beautiful day to be outside! While we were there, we saw the family of one of Lydia’s classmates. I hadn’t seen them for a while, so it was really nice to catch up!

Wednesday was the 6th anniversary of Dave’s death. After work and school, we invited some neighbor friends to meet us for frozen yogurt. Afterward, they invited us to their house for dinner! It was a good day and I was grateful for all the loving support we received both near and far. Thank you!

This week, my tulips finally bloomed! I love the pink color. I also noticed the leaves on my trees finally popped out! Our grass is growing well, and I’ll have to mow it soon. 🙂

On Friday, Lydia stayed home from school because she was sick. It must’ve been a 24-hour GI bug. We enjoyed a quiet day of rest, though I washed several loads of laundry and did some deep cleaning related to her being sick. I’m glad she is feeling better now!

Recently, a friend who winters in Arizona gave me some fresh lemons when she returned home. These lemons were the biggest, juiciest ones I have ever seen! I also just happened to find a healthy recipe for lemon curd, so used the lemons for that. It is so tasty! (see pic)

Today, it was rainy, windy, and cold. We decided to go see the new movie, “Ugly Dolls,” currently in the theater. It was really cute, and I appreciated the message of accepting others who look or act differently than you. I’m grateful God makes us all unique!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Worship

Scars

I’m thankful for the scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars
So forever I am thankful for the scars

–From the song, “Scars,” by I AM THEY

Well, here we are in the middle of May! Today marks 6 years since Dave died. I am reflective, and a little sad, but I know it will pass. Today also marks six years of being a widow and single mom. Lydia and I are doing well, and talk about Dave often. 

Thankfully, we have found a good rhythm. God has us on a good path, and I’m grateful for the peace and rest He brings. Over the years, grief always felt like a ‘big’ factor. Now, it comes and goes with less frequency.

On this anniversary, we always celebrate Dave’s life by doing something special. I give Lydia a small gift, tell her “Dave stories,” and point out qualities of his that she also has.

When I asked Lydia for her ideas on how to celebrate, she suggested we eat frozen yogurt, play a game, or take a bike ride after we get home from work and school.

I’m amazed that she takes it all in stride. She has proven quite resilient! She seems fairly mature for her age, handling herself and her emotions well.

In fact, over the last few months, Lydia has started to ask for more details about Dave and cancer. She now identifies when she is sad, and we are able to talk about it. It helps that we can build on all our previous conversations.

Last week, Lydia decided on a whim to wear her CAT sweatshirt from when she was a toddler. It made me smile because the shirt is still so special to her. She didn’t think anything of the fact that is too small. The sleeves are super short, so maybe I’ll get her a new one for the fall!

Today, I’m also celebrating God’s grace and faithfulness. He has helped me to persevere and keep moving forward. Overall, I’ve made slow and steady progress, but it still counts!

We can’t get through life without pain and suffering. It’s just not possible to be alive and problem-free at the same time. We will all go through trials, which will likely yield some physical and/or emotional wounds. But, that doesn’t mean we have no control. We can certainly choose to have a good attitude and bring our pain to Jesus for healing. Professional therapy may also be helpful!

We should be wise with how we view our scars and stories. We don’t have to walk around showing off our scars to everyone we meet. Despite what happens, we are not victims. Besides, some people won’t understand our pain or be able to handle it appropriately.

But when we have the opportunity, we can use our scars to tell a story of grace, victory, and God’s goodness. Scars show how much we’ve been through, yes, but they also show how much we’ve been healed. Praise God!

Our trials, wounds, and scars can either distract us from Jesus or redirect us back to Him. I’m grateful I’ve chosen to draw near to the Lord. He has rebuilt me from the inside out, and His joy has been my strength. He is always with me and for me. He has never let me down!

Over the last six years, I’ve been constantly reminded life is so short. We can’t take anything for granted, but we can always be grateful. When we let God lead us, He takes such good care of us. He loves us so very much. Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for bringing us this far. We could not have made it without You. Please continue to lead and guide us. Thank You for using my pain and scars and for giving me a new purpose. I give You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Question: How do you like to celebrate the lives of your loved ones who have died?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Scars,” by I AM THEY. Also, reach out to a widow, single mom, or someone else who may need some encouragement today! Small acts of kindness can go a long way!

Posted on in Miscellaneous, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Don’t Stop Believing!

This week, I have been scribing John 14! Writing down the verses word-for-word helps me understand more of the story. I can almost imagine I was there in the scene, which helps me feel the intent and emotions behind the words.

You can read the whole chapter here for context, but the thing that stood out to me, is John 14:8-9, which says, “Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”
Jesus answered: Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?” (my emphasis added)

When I read these verses, I detect a little bit of sadness. Jesus seemed hurt His disciples were struggling to believe in Him. They quickly tossed aside His message and miracles and started questioning His character. They second-guessed His intentions.

Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand His purpose. Nor did they realize the depth of His love that would soon send Him to the cross. I wonder if Jesus ever grew tired of always having to explain and prove Himself.

I find it a little heartbreaking in the next two verses, when Jesus says,
“Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves.” (my emphasis added)

It is easy to have faith when life is going well. We may even have ‘proof’ things are going our way. We say God is good—and indeed He is.

But, there is a danger if we only say, “God is good,” in the good times. God never changes (Hebrews 13:8), so even when our circumstances change for the worse, He is still good.

Of course, challenges are a part of life. Quite often, when troubles come, our doubts and fears are exposed. Our true motivations are rooted out and then chipped away from our remaining character.

Doubts and trials can certainly be uncomfortable, but it is normal to have questions about what we are going through. As long as we keep seeking Him, we will find Jesus.

He will give us the answers we need, and/or the grace to move forward when it doesn’t make sense. In fact, He can use this process to strengthen us, refine us, and redirect us. He turns trials around in our favor, too (Romans 8:28)!

In the past, cancer and grief threatened my entire view of God. At times, my doubts made me question God’s character and love. I thought, “How could God ‘allow’ Dave to get sick?” I knew cancer wasn’t from God, and in those 364 days, I learned He was not mad at me or punishing me.

Instead, He graciously showed me that I was seeing Him through my own faulty traits. There was a difference between who I thought God was and who He actually is.

God will not be limited to our human interpretations of who He is or what He does. He does not owe us an explanation. But He does ask us to believe in Him.

The next time you are faced with fears and doubts, come directly to Jesus. He is not turned off by your questions. He wants to show you the Truth about Himself and your situation.

Read His word and set your eyes on Him, not the problem. Remind yourself of His character and love. Remember all the ways He has been faithful.

Don’t let your doubts keep you from Jesus. Believe He is who He says He is. He is your defender and your righteousness. Let Him be your refuge. He loves you dearly!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good and faithful. I’m sorry when I doubt You. Help me remember Your faithfulness. You always keep Your promises! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Can you hear Jesus calling to you with grace and love? What is He saying to you right now? Will you draw near to Him?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Your Love Defends Me,” by Matt Maher.

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

Regarding Lazarus

Last year I began scribing the Gospel of John with several friends. A handful of people have finished but I’m about halfway through. I recently completed John Chapter 11 word-for-word.

I stayed in Chapter 11 through the holidays. You could say I “sat” with Lazarus for about two weeks because I could relate…

Lazarus and his two sisters, Mary and Martha, were close friends of Jesus. They lived in Bethany, about two miles outside Jerusalem. Somehow, I had previously missed that small detail—Bethany was nearby.

Jesus received word that Lazarus was sick, but surprisingly He didn’t go there right away. In fact, He postponed his arrival for two days. By then, Lazarus was dead.

Now I don’t know about you, but a two-mile walk would take me around thirty minutes or less. It might take me longer if I stopped to chat or run another errand. But I could easily make it in an hour.

So why did Jesus delay? He could have easily just spoken from a distance and Lazarus would have been healed. Jesus did not procrastinate but stayed where He was on purpose. He knew the Father’s plan and He knew the final outcome.

To gain some insight, I re-read the story several times.

At one point it hit me: I could understand how Martha and Mary must’ve felt when they questioned Jesus. Perhaps they felt some sense of betrayal, anger, or abandonment… He was only 2 miles away. I’m sure they felt desperation and the pain of unbearable grief. IF ONLY Jesus had shown up, when they thought He should, things would’ve been different.

My paraphrase: “Lord, if you had been here, this would never have happened!!” We so easily question God with our limited understanding, but His ways are not our ways.

When Dave was sick, there were so many times when it felt like God wasn’t listening or wasn’t working on our behalf. Often, we prayed about a test or symptom only to have the opposite happen. It was very frustrating!

I know God never leaves us nor forsakes us, and He certainly did not betray me. But my feelings sometimes got the best of me…

Yet, because Jesus stayed put and didn’t rush, He was then able to explain that He is the Resurrection and the Life. He was able to do one final miracle, which pointed to His own death and resurrection. He was able to increase His followers’ faith. He was able to bring His Father glory. He was able to give us hope 2000+ years later as well.

A short while later, in John 12, Jesus once again hangs out with his friends, Mary, Martha, and the resurrected Lazarus. I bet they all rehashed what they had been through together.

I wonder what Lazarus thought about all of this. I’m sure he and his sisters were grateful to be able to understand God’s love for them in a more personal way.

Time for a quick disclaimer: Our Heavenly Father wants what is good for us and is eager that we should be whole and healthy. And while I do believe we should seek God’s healing, healing should not be our primary goal (in and of itself).

Healing is certainly wonderful, but it’s not the end-all be-all. (Hey, Lazarus died twice!)

To be clear, sickness is not from God, and it is important to take care of our bodies in whatever way we can. For example, healthy food, exercise, adequate sleep, stress reduction, medicine, prayer, and counseling are all good. Absolutely!

For some people, healing happens in an instant, but for others, it takes time. Unfortunately, when healing doesn’t come on our terms or in our timing, some people are lead to believe they don’t have enough faith. They can even feel ashamed of being unwell.

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

Judging someone else’s faith or experience is unfair and unkind... not to mention inaccurate. Let’s be careful not add to someone’s suffering or burden them with ‘if only’ scenarios. Instead, let’s offer grace and support.

Some of the godliest and most faith-filled people I know live with chronic pain or health issues. I admire them and learn so much from them! They’re tough!

Anyway, no matter what happens, whether God heals us on our terms or not, our sole focus should be on Jesus. How can He use us for His glory?

Just remember: God can use us in whatever condition we are... dead or alive!! 🙂

Jesus wept when He saw Lazarus’ tomb. It brought Jesus great sadness, and He told His disciples He was glad for their sake that He was not there when Lazarus died. But if He had “only” healed Lazarus, we ALL would have missed so much.

Lazarus was dead four days before being resurrected, which proves nothing is impossible for Jesus! If you need healing or another form of help, Jesus is able and willing! Trust Him!

Dave and I prayed for healing, yes. And though it came differently than expected, God was (and has been) ever-faithful. Dave received FULL healing when he went to Heaven. Thankfully, God has been healing my heart as well.

I am grateful that Jesus isn’t bound by my timeline (what I think He should do and when). I don’t have all the answers, but I do know God excels at bringing dead things to life. He resurrects and restores!

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Heavenly Father, You are so faithful. Thanks taking such good care of us. Help us trust You when we do not understand. In You, We have Victory! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your ‘Lazarus?’ What do you need God to resurrect or restore?

Tasks: Listen to “Still Rolling Stones,” by Lauren Daigle. Check out the Journibles here!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Wisdom, Worship

Keep It Simple, Sweetheart

This Christmas season, like many people, I am trying to stay on top of my to-do list. At times, it is a little overwhelming, and yes, I could use more sleep! 🙂

But all things considered, this year feels different.

Instead of my heart feeling heavy with grief, I’m excited and coping well. Praise God!

Perhaps all those years of intense grief have been helpful after all because I have learned the art of doing less.

This year, I’ve been doing more of what makes me glad. With so many possibilities, I’ve decided to simplify.

When possible, I’ve opted out of stressful activities that don’t add to the holiday spirit. At the same time, I’ve tried new things, such as putting up outdoor Christmas lights!

Lydia and I have been enjoying Christmas music and holiday movies, decorating our tree, and sampling yummy treats! She has played in the mounds of snow with her friends, while I’ve enjoyed coffee dates with mine.

I’ve also opened my house to a handful of people who don’t have family nearby.

We have a list of fun winter activities that we would like to do, such as sledding and seeing holiday lights. As usual, Lydia’s excitement is contagious!

Thankfully, I’ve learned to appreciate rest and don’t have crazy expectations. I know my limitations and try not to overextend myself. I’m grateful for how far God has brought me and Lydia!

With all the hustle and bustle, it could be easy to forget Jesus, the reason we are celebrating in the first place! By staying present with Him, I can enjoy the true gift He is:

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace

Friend, if you are going through a tough season of grief, let me remind you of the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart. 🙂 There is no need to “fake brave.”

Grief looks different for all of us, and each year brings unique challenges. It does improve eventually, but all those emotions need to run their course so you can keep moving forward.

For now, do what you need to do—no more and no less. Whether that means showing up or staying home, ask God to direct your path and show you His goodness.

Look for the gift of God’s grace…. Jesus!! He is a wonderful savior and friend.

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Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus. What a precious gift! Be with those who are hurting this season. Show them just how much you love them and bring them peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What are your favorite Christmas traditions?

Tasks: Do something special for someone who needs encouragement this season. Pray with them, invite them over for dinner, help them decorate (or clean!), or listen to them talk of their loved one. Even a small act of kindness can mean so much to someone who is hurting.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

A Caution on Countdowns

This has been an interesting autumn so far! First, we had snow on October 10th which melted away. Then, we had flurries a few days last week, followed by drifting from the wind. I’ve had to shovel snow several times already. It could be a long season…

In Fargo, the potential for snow lasts from October until early May some years. Even if the calendar says spring, it can feel like winter! It’s important to manage expectations, ha!

Honestly, shoveling snow makes my shoulders ache. I do use my snowblower when necessary, but sometimes shoveling is the best option. Let’s just say that for me, snow removal is still a good opportunity for “character refinement.”

As such, I choose to reframe the situation from time-to-time… On those early, blustery mornings, I remind myself to be grateful. For instance, I am thankful for the tools and warm clothes I have acquired over the years to make the process easier. I’m also grateful for my physical health and the ability to take care of all God has given me.

I am thankful for yoga and shoulder stretches which help to somewhat ease the pain. And, I am really grateful for a reliable vehicle with all-wheel-drive to help me get around.

To my surprise, on social media, I’ve already seen a few people counting down the days until spring! But it’s not even Thanksgiving yet!

Apparently, there are around 126 days until March 20th of 2019 (the first day of spring). Perhaps I am the only person to feel this way, but I don’t appreciate these types of countdowns… they tend to mess with my attitude, if I let them.

Don’t get me wrong—I respect that some people love the heat and hate the cold. I get it… To each their own! Even in our differences, I hope we can still be friends! 🙂

In my case, I like spring and summer, but I also enjoy autumn and winter. For me, it is important to celebrate—instead of complain about—each season as God brings it.

(PLEASE remind me of this in late February when my shoulders have had it! Deal?!)

My feeling is that if we were to skip ahead to our ‘favorite seasons,’ we would miss so much. Sure, the grass is always greener in someone else’s yard, but for me the solution is not to countdown to spring. Wishful thinking won’t make winter pass any faster. And, I don’t want discontent to sidetrack me from what God is doing in my own yard or life.

Before we go much further, let me fully disclose that I have already been watching Christmas movies on Netflix! LOL, to each their own, right?

Getting into the ‘holiday spirit’ is full of meaning for me this year, because while this is our 6th holiday season without Dave, it is the first one where I don’t have mixed emotions.

Truthfully, for several years after Dave died, I dreaded the holidays. I really did want to skip the entire season. The holidays were just too painful.

But, I am so glad I didn’t rush through the pain. From a grief perspective, I needed to go through each stage of processing my emotions. I couldn’t ‘skip it’ and still be healthy…

Through each difficult and unpleasant season of life and grief, I have understood a new level of God’s grace and faithfulness. He has brought me through it all with His love and strength! I’m eternally grateful for His kindness to me!

There is a big difference between anticipation and apprehension. One fills me with eagerness and the other expects the worst. One fills me with hope and joy and the other fills me with a sense of dread. It has to do with attitude…

To clarify, not all countdowns are bad. Planning is important, and if a countdown truly brings you joy, great! Technically, a timer on an oven is a type of countdown that may bring you joy… yum!

Rocket ships need a countdown before launching into space. Also, parents of young children may benefit from counting down the minutes before bed time.

In my house… Lydia has been counting down her birthday for several weeks. She hasn’t counted the days, but she does cross the days off her calendar each night. She is SO excited!

My point is to consider the reason for the countdown and your attitude. The takeaway is this: Does it fill you with a sense of God’s grace or a sense of grrr?? 😉

Don’t take for granted what God has given you: time with loved ones, peace in the moment, His presence. His grace is sufficient for this day, so let’s be grateful!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for being so generous and gracious. Don’t let me get ahead of you or be ungrateful. Help me rely on You each day. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: If you are always racing to the next moment or event, what might you be missing? What other countdowns do you find helpful?

Tasks: Looking ahead can be either helpful or harmful. Consider whether it brings you anticipation or apprehension. Then, readjust. Go with God!