A Tale of Two Birthdays

Well, here we are in the swing of the holiday season!

Yesterday was Dave’s birthday. Of course, it comes every year, but yesterday felt different. I intentionally put off thinking about it all until later in the day because I was trying to keep it together and get things done. Still, I’ve been thinking of him quite a bit lately.

It’s interesting to think about how things would be different if Dave was here…

This particular week is very busy trying to squeeze in a trillion activities before Christmas. Some of the stress is normal and would be the same even if Dave was here. Work and school, making meals, washing dishes, Christmas parties, shopping lines, etc.

But yesterday, I caught myself being frustrated by all the stressors that result from Dave being gone. Several things are more difficult now. Many things take longer to complete or just don’t get done. As a single mom and homeowner, all the responsibility falls on me.

Most of the time, I just deal with it. But yesterday, it took more effort. Missing Dave was one component, yes. But after work, school and Lydia’s orthodontist appointment, several random chaotic things happened all at once. It didn’t help that we were also sad, cold, overwhelmed, frustrated, tired, and hangry. It was the perfect storm.

Yesterday was a little rough at times. But, I noticed my mindset wasn’t particularly helpful and I didn’t want to linger there for long, though that would have been easier.

Thankfully, God showed up in the many people around us. Several people sent texts or called to chat. Last night, our neighbors dropped off a delicious box of goodies with perfect timing. And for dinner, a dear friend came over with pizza and cupcakes.

Last night, I reminded myself of all I have to be thankful for… Dave was a wonderful man and now I have Lydia! Then, a few Caterpillar guys checked in and sent thoughtful messages. We also received a number of beautiful Christmas cards reminding me of all the people cheering us on from near and far. I’m grateful for your prayers and support.

And, I reminded myself of how far God has brought me. That’s the beauty in all of this. Despite my (sometimes) heartache and frustration, Jesus is here with me.

Yesterday, Dave’s birthday was a little sad because it reminds me of all we have lost, but we look forward to celebrating Jesus’ birthday, too. We rejoice that Jesus’ birth brought us hope and redemption. A solution to the world’s collective heartbreak.

Emmanuel means ‘God with us’ and when Jesus steps into a situation, He will help us get through it. He brings peace and joy, grace and power, as well as hope and healing. But we have to invite Him in. Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

When all is well or when (I feel) nothing is going right… Emmanuel.

When problems arise and nothing gets solved… Emmanuel.

When I don’t measure up despite giving my best effort… Emmanuel.

There is power in the Name of Jesus and peace in His Presence. He is our Emmanuel. So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I’m seeing my pain as a reminder to draw closer to Jesus. I’m trusting in God’s grace and focusing on His goodness. Thank You, Jesus!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for sending Your son, Jesus, to be our Emmanuel. Thanks for never leaving us nor forsaking us. You deserve all our praise. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Is there someone who needs a little encouragement or support during this season? How can you bring them comfort and point them to Jesus?

Tasks: Ask a grieving friend to come over for the holidays. Or, see if you can help them finish their shopping or baking or other preparations. Sometimes just being present is all they need to remember Jesus is with them, too.

There’s Always a Catch!

Have you ever noticed how when one thing starts going right, something else seems to go wrong? For example, when the washing machine finally gets fixed, the drier needs repaired or the laundry detergent runs out. Or, you finally remember a coupon at the grocery store but find out it has expired.

Why is there always a catch?

You may leave for work extra early but still get stuck in traffic. Or, you get your oil changed but then your breaks start squeaking. Or, you waited to go sledding until the wind finally dies down but then the bitter cold settles in.

Why can’t we get a break?

At this time of year, for some people, life can seem to close in as we are reminded of all we are missing or all that has been lost. Perhaps you’ve lost a job or relationship. Perhaps life has just turned out differently than expected.

Years ago, I discovered an interesting Bible verse in my own grief. Deuteronomy 33:27 says, “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” At first, it seems like an odd verse. Underneath are the everlasting arms…say what?

But when my late husband, Dave, died, I gained more understanding. Emotionally, it felt like the floor literally fell out from underneath my feet. My life was changed in an instant. But soon, that same verse brought me great comfort as I envisioned God catching me and drawing me near.

For those in the midst of intense grief, it can feel like you are falling with no place to land. It can be difficult to know which way is up. It might even feel like things will never get better. I get it. I’ve been there, too.

But, God caught me… and I know He will catch you too!

Maybe the Christmas season has you feeling down. Yet, that’s why Jesus came. He came not to simply bring light to the darkness, but to BE the light that extinguishes it.

Jesus came not to just fix what was broken but to give us a new purpose. He came not just to rescue us, but to give us a new life in Him. He is our living Hope.

During the holidays, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement or stuck in our emotions. In both cases, we risk missing Jesus altogether. Thankfully, with God, there’s always a catch!

Jesus is our Rescuer.

When life gets chaotic, free-fall into God’s open arms. He’s waiting for you, so cling to Him. Whatever you are going through today, whether it is exciting or exhausting, invite Jesus in. He’s got you surrounded in grace and peace.

Let Him catch you and comfort you. His love never fails!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for sending Jesus, Our Rescuer. Thanks for catching us and holding us close. Please keep us focused on You instead of our circumstances. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are there any Bible verses that you have found odd only to understand later on in a more personal way? If so, share in the comments!

Task: Listen to the song, “Power of Your Love,” sung by Darlene Zschech. Make it your heart’s cry and draw close to Jesus.

 

Holiday Grieving Tips

It’s that time of year again. The holidays.

While this season is a time of celebration for most people, grief can make it particularly tough. When we miss loved ones (or are working through other losses), every day can be a struggle. It can be difficult to focus when the holiday season moves so fast.

If you’re dealing with grief this year, whether your loss is fresh or not, it still hurts. From special events to favorite songs or foods…nothing is the same anymore.

This is my seventh holiday season without my late husband, Dave. Each year has been so different, but thankfully, I have learned to keep an open mind and to keep it simple.

I have also learned to lay aside most expectations during this time. I don’t feel the need to attend every party. I don’t feel like I have to fake brave or fake holiday cheer. That doesn’t mean other people should have to feel how I do, but my feelings have a place too.

I always recommend talking about how you are feeling. Telling stories about loved ones we are missing honors them and can bring healing. A trusted friend can provide extra support and encouragement. Having someone listen without judgment is a true gift!

Similarly, serving others can also provide a way to shift our focus. As we meet the needs around us, we will see the beauty and joy God provides for us and through us.

The holiday season also includes Lydia’s birthday, Dave’s birthday, and our anniversary. So, each year is a toss-up on if/how I decorate, travel, or make certain festive foods…

There is freedom in playing it all by ear and not feeling pressure to figure it all out.

This year feels much better so far, but I am still taking each day as it comes. So far, I have watched Christmas movies, put up our tree, and have made special treats with Lydia!

I also have paid for snow removal services to ease the burden a little.

It won’t happen overnight, but the pain does feel better in time. Just stay close to Jesus and honor where you are right now. It will be alright.

Recently, I have found it helpful to review just how far God has brought me. While He continues to write your story, I pray you will find encouragement in these throwback posts:

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Hope and Healing for the Holidays

Gifts Galore

O Christmas Tree

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your grace and faithfulness! You are so good. Help me lean on You today and always. Bring peace and comfort to those who are heartbroken this season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How are you preparing for the holidays? Are you looking forward to all the celebrations or eager for them to be over already?

Tasks: I would love to pray for you during this season, especially if you are struggling with grief and loss. You can reach me through email at:  nat.grace.lemonade@gmail.com

 

 

 

From Grace to Grace

Lately, I have been talking to my friends about the significance of our personal stories. It is a theme that keeps coming up for me, partially because I have found it so helpful and encouraging. Plus, I enjoy hearing how God has worked in other peoples’ lives.

It can be healing to share our hearts, though, at the same time, we should be discerning. Some people won’t understand or appreciate all we have been through. Be wise!

As we discuss our failures, we can give God credit and glory for all He has done. He has brought us through each trial We have Victory, in Jesus’ Name!

Sometimes, it is easy to see what we should have done differently. But certain events are more difficult to process until much later. With all we learn through making mistakes, those lessons can be a lifeline or trail for others.

But, maybe you’re still in the middle of a current struggle. Maybe you can’t see how it all ends right now. Don’t give up.

God is putting together something beautiful, but like any masterpiece, it is going to take some time. Hold on…to Him!

God’s favor surrounds us like a shield. He protects His children as we walk close to HIm. As long as we keep moving forward with Him, we will make it.

Someday, your story will all make sense. That doesn’t mean it’s easy though.

Each trial is like a stepping stone. As we leap from one to another, God gives us His grace and strength.

Even if we can’t see the next step, there are a few things we can do.

First, we can trust that there is a stone to step on. God Himself is our Rock. Strong and dependable, He’s more than able to handle anything that comes our way.

Second, we can make the choice to follow God’s leading. He never pressures us to make the leap, but He promises His presence and power. His love never fails!

Third, we can look back with gratitude and see God’s faithfulness thus far. Then, it is easier to see how all the ‘dots’ connect.

Fourth, we cand seek God’s grace and goodness as we go. If we expect challenges, we will find them. But if we look for goodness, we will find that too. So, without gratitude, we will only see the difficulties, not the beauty of God’s plan.

Grace is God’s unmerited, undeserved, unearned favor. It is all around us if we have eyes to see it. Let’s move from one grace to the next!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for all You do for us. You are so good! Help us trust you as we move forward. Help us make the leap by faith. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you comfortable telling the key points of your life story? What lessons can you share with others?

Tasks: Listen to the song, Rebel Heart, by Lauren Daigle.

Finding Grace #185

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a full, but good, week!

The weather turned quite warm again, which was a nice change from last week. Still, I am ready for cool weather. That said, I am not quite ready for snow. I still need to finish outdoor chores, like getting my patio furniture inside!  I did notice my trees are starting to change color this week!

Work went well and was steadily busy. I felt helpful and productive! I also had orientation on Thursday and Friday, because, in August, I couldn’t make the timing work until Lydia was in school. It was long but worthwhile. I enjoyed learning more about the history and mission of the VA, and the many important services we provide.

Lydia had a good week and let it slip (twice!) that she is really enjoying the Y program, after all. I happily teased her about it because her original attitude was pretty negative. Thanks for your prayers! 

Tornado sirens went off last night after dinner. I was not concerned because I was tracking the thunderstorm and knew it wouldn’t last long. Lydia was a little scared, though, which gave us good reason to snuggle on the couch downstairs. We talked about big topics like “if I were to die, what would happen,” wills, guardianship, and life insurance. Along with grief and death, we are used to talking about the “what ifs” in our house. Lydia’s fear soon left as she realized God is in control and we are as prepared as we can be. It was really sweet to hear Lydia pour out her heart to Jesus and receive His peace.

Today, I caught up with another widowed, single mom friend over the phone. We connected years ago, and she encouraged me after Dave died. She had some questions for me today, and I was able to help her. It was fun to catch up!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

New Beginnings and Blessings

This is another red-letter week for me!

First, Monday was my birthday! I received some great calls, texts, emails, cards, FB messages, and really cool gifts. I feel blessed to have so many people cheering me on from around the world. Thank you!

To celebrate, I had lunch with a friend and a fun day with Lydia. The last week has also included a massage, a movie (The Lion King… so good!), pizza with my neighbors, and another friend mowing for me. Life is good!

A couple of weeks ago, it was really touching when Lydia set up a ‘private meeting’ with my mom to discuss my birthday options. She is so thoughtful, and I love the bracelets I received from her (with Mom’s help). We will celebrate with my parents later this week!

I always enjoy looking back on the previous year and seeing all the Lord has done for me and through me. This last year was amazing. I left some big things in God’s hands, and it has been inspiring to see all that has happened as a result of trusting Him more.

Today, I am finishing up my job at a local clinic. This job was a blessing to me after the company bought out my previous job. For me, I felt God ‘grandfathered’ me into the system when many people would have been otherwise cut.

I have appreciated my time there, and I am grateful for my coworkers. God always provides for me, protects me, and prepares me for what is ahead. And, I’m happy to report that next week, I start a new job at the Fargo VA Health System!

This, too, is no coincidence. Years ago, when Dave was very sick in the ICU, my dietitian friend, Laura, gave me a much-needed, well-timed hug and walked into his room with me. Dave was on a ventilator and Laura was able to explain all of his details to me.

Then, this past February, I contacted Laura to explain how much that hug meant to me. It felt like Jesus Himself was embracing me. It was a turning point for me and just what I needed in the midst of such uncertainty.

Similarly, Laura said the experience impacted her and changed how she views patients. It reminded her that those critical patients are someone’s husband, son, friend, not just a calculation, or tube feeding, or problem to be solved.

A few weeks after we talked, I learned that Laura’s two-year-old twin daughter is fighting leukemia. I have been praying for the family, along with several other people I know who are sick.

Then, in early July, Laura contacted me for this opportunity. It just seemed like a good fit, and I trust God is in this. The timing, connection, and even the different job requirements all add up to be a big blessing. The job seems to cater to my strengths, but also will provide a place to challenge myself and grow.

It will be a transition, though, and I appreciate all your prayers! I will be working more hours and days (still part-time), and that means Lydia will need to be in the after-school YMCA program. Thankfully, it is at her school and close to home.

It seems each year, God stretches us a little more than the previous year. Thankfully, it is a slow process. He is so gracious.

Still, I’m so excited to see how we both grow and change. Lydia is a little nervous, but I reminded her that God’s plans for us are good. The best is yet to come!

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God, there is no one like You! You are so good! Thank You for leading me on this new path. Thanks for blessing me with peace, provision, and protection. I commit it all of this to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: As you survey your life, can you see God’s provision and protection? How is He preparing You for greater things? How can you trust Him more?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “God of this City,” by Chris Tomlin.

Singing in the Rain

Usually, by this time in July, my grass is crispy and brown. But this summer, we’ve had more consistent rain. We’ve had some big thunderstorms lately, and the grass is still green!

One day last week, I woke up to a gentle rain pounding on the roof. It was still early enough that I could have slept more, but I kept listening to the rain instead.

As I thanked God for the new day, I heard a little bird singing in the rain!

What a cool surprise! Between the rain and my excitement about the little bird, I couldn’t sleep anymore. The bird caught my attention because it chose to sing instead of retreat.

The steadfast song really made my day. I don’t know if the bird expected the storm or if it caught him by surprise. But, I’m sure it thrilled God’s heart to hear him sing his heart out!

We have a similar choice to make.

When storms come, we can retreat into our comfort zone. Or, we can look beyond our difficulties and sing about God’s faithfulness and goodness.

Singing in the rain and stepping into uncertainty is not for the faint of heart. It takes a fair amount of grit to persevere. In fact, many of the beloved old hymns were written out of excruciating heartache. Despite all odds, these famous songs are filled with the truth of God’s loyal love.

For example, the author of “It Is Well with My Soul” suffered great loss including the death of five of his children. The song was his response to the painful tragedy. Powerful.

The author of “Amazing Grace” also recorded his thoughts and feelings of gratitude after God saved him from a life of sin and disgrace.

There is freedom when we see storms of life as opportunities to sing and shine for God. We release ourselves to God’s care and shift the burden back to Him, where it belongs. Then, He gets the glory for what happens next.

Peace comes when we realize we don’t have to figure out all the details. God already knows what to do. He is more than capable, and His mercies are new every morning.

God is worthy of our praise no matter what circumstances we’re facing. He is faithful and true. So come as you are… He longs to be with us, help us, and show us His loyal love.

Rest assured… it’s okay if you can barely carry a tune! All of us can still make a joyful noise. Let’s use whatever gifts we have and praise the Lord. 🙂

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Heavenly Father, thanks for your mercy and grace! We have so much to be thankful for, despite life’s challenges. Open our eyes so we can see all of Your goodness. We’ll give You all the glory and praise. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you a bird watcher? What can you praise God for today?

Tasks: Make a list of all you are grateful for, and start singing your praises! If you don’t know where to start, try Psalm 117.

 

Sweet Celebrations

Here we are in July! This summer, I feel more relaxed yet more proactive than I have in the past. I am content to go with the flow, but I am also making plans and stretching myself more than normal. It feels good.

This feels like a season of celebrating for me. Each year that goes by, grief seems less strong. I don’t define my life by losses or challenges, but I am now grateful for them.

Right now, I am celebrating that Lydia is able to do more on her own. She can read to herself and is growing in independence. It’s a challenge at times to see her make mistakes, but she is growing and learning through it all. I’m so proud of her!

This summer, reading with Lydia is a joy. It has been so fun to see her interest in the stories. She can identify with the characters and is shocked when they go through their own trials. It is interesting how she is learning life lessons through fictional friends.

I’m really grateful for where we are right now. I know life constantly is changing, but God has us in a good spot. We are reaching out to those around us and have a lot going on, but we aren’t chaotically busy.

With the slightly slower pace, Lydia and I are enjoying good food, friends, being outside and being together. I’m loving fresh fruits and vegetables! She’s enjoying ice cream treats…

This summer, I’m learning a new level of trusting God. I always feel like I have a lot of personal responsibility as a single parent, and it is sometimes overwhelming. I’m being more intentional with my time, and there is freedom in not having to figure it all out.

I’m also celebrating sweet answers to prayer. Lately, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to see God come through for me in ways that I could have never predicted. Praise the Lord!

God always is working in our lives, but when we cooperate with Him, it goes much better! 😉 We do our part, and He does His. He is faithful.

This week, as we celebrate our freedom(s), take time to celebrate what God is doing around you. Praise Him for His goodness and faithfulness. Rest in His love, grace, and peace. He is so good!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for the freedom and protection we have in Christ Jesus. Thanks for all you are doing in our lives right now. Help us trust You for greater things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have any 4th of July plans? How are you celebrating God’s grace in your life?

Tasks: ‘Let go and let God’ take care of all that concerns you. Imagine how freeing it will be when you see Him move on your behalf. Trust Him!

On Being Content

This week I am doing another YouVersion Bible plan with friends. It is called, “The Power of Christian Contentment,” by Andrew Davis. It is so good. 

For this post, I wanted to capture a few of my thoughts in one spot. Contentment is a lifelong pursuit, so this simple post is by no means exhaustive.

The author talks about how rare contentment really is. I never thought about it that way. But I know many people (even Christians) who are mad at God for how life has turned out. They blame Him for what did or did not happen.

They choose to grumble and complain, but they refuse to take responsibility for their role in it. Not everything is someone’s fault, of course, but we have to do our part.

Sometimes, evil things happen and it seems like God has failed us. But God’s love never fails. He is always good, even when life doesn’t make sense. He is trustworthy!

To me, contentment means having peace and joy while going at God’s pace. It’s trusting Him, by not rushing ahead or setting lofty expectations, nor getting overly discouraged when disappointments come. We can’t avoid ups and downs entirely, but we can control our reactions.

The author mentioned that it takes supernatural effort to be content. Without Jesus, it seems we are always lacking something. In Jesus, we have everything we need. That doesn’t mean life is perfect, but He is with us and helps us through each of life’s challenges.

We weren’t meant to live with anger, anxiety, or fear!

God never sends bad or evil things upon His children. But, He will use everything (good or evil) for our benefit. Only He can orchestrate each of our paths and help us navigate life’s ups and downs while still bringing good out of it ALL! Wow!

The author mentioned the Apostle Paul and all he went through in spreading the gospel. To start, Paul was imprisoned, beaten, and shipwrecked. Eventually, he was executed.

Contentment is a lifestyle, an attitude, and a choice. Whether Paul had a lot or a little, was hungry or fed… in every circumstance, he persevered and learned to be content (Philippians 4:11-13).

In the ancient town of Philippi, Paul shared the gospel with a crowd. A woman named Lydia chose to believe the message and receive Christ. On Sunday, MY Lydia jokingly said, “No, they have it all wrong. She wasn’t from there, she was from North Dakota!”

It was funny, but it made me think. How often do we try to change or interpret God’s word to fit our goals and plans? We need to align ourselves with the Truth, that is Jesus!

Contentment comes when we know God’s heart for us and accept His path. It is not dependent on how much physical wealth we have or how little. It is not dependent upon whether or not all your personal dreams come true.

We can be content when our day takes a drastic turn. We can hold our tongue when people gossip about us. We can accept God’s will when we are not promoted or plans fail, knowing He has something better. We can maintain our joy, even when we have to make toast in the bathroom.

We can follow God wholeheartedly, even in the midst of pain. In fact, choosing to praise Him while suffering often brings an even better opportunity to show His goodness!

God loves working on our behalf despite the odds against us! That’s when His power shines bright and He gets all the glory! Woohoo!

We learn about God’s love by spending time with Him in two-way prayer, reading His Word and applying it, and learning to trust and obey the Holy Spirit.

Jesus showed us how to be content. He chose to follow His Father’s will, even to the cross. It would have been much more pleasant (for Him), had He done His own thing.

Jesus knew what was at stake, and He was strong to the end. Can you imagine how the story would have changed if all He did in Scripture is whine and complain?! Yikes!

Our Heavenly Father always does what is best for us. It’s our job to agree with Him and not run the show. Life is an adventure… but don’t be afraid. Be encouraged.

Jesus always leads us to Victory! May we be content and live in grace!

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God, thanks for You grace and love. Give us courage to let go and trust You. Help us grow in contentment. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Was this post on contentment comforting, challenging, or convicting? How can you cultivate contentment today?

Tasks: Check out the YouVersion Bible app for great reading plans that speak to everyday life. Invite some friends to join you!

 

Finding Grace #167

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week I saw God’s grace all around me. On Sunday evening, Lydia and I were playing frisbee in the front yard when a lady from South Dakota stopped by my little free library! She was searching for the geocache inside and laughed when she found it. She was visiting family in Fargo and commented on the variety of books inside the LFL. It was gratifying to see her enjoy herself.

On Monday, I walked Lydia and a friend to the park in our neighborhood. It was a beautiful day to be outside! While we were there, we saw the family of one of Lydia’s classmates. I hadn’t seen them for a while, so it was really nice to catch up!

Wednesday was the 6th anniversary of Dave’s death. After work and school, we invited some neighbor friends to meet us for frozen yogurt. Afterward, they invited us to their house for dinner! It was a good day and I was grateful for all the loving support we received both near and far. Thank you!

This week, my tulips finally bloomed! I love the pink color. I also noticed the leaves on my trees finally popped out! Our grass is growing well, and I’ll have to mow it soon. 🙂

On Friday, Lydia stayed home from school because she was sick. It must’ve been a 24-hour GI bug. We enjoyed a quiet day of rest, though I washed several loads of laundry and did some deep cleaning related to her being sick. I’m glad she is feeling better now!

Recently, a friend who winters in Arizona gave me some fresh lemons when she returned home. These lemons were the biggest, juiciest ones I have ever seen! I also just happened to find a healthy recipe for lemon curd, so used the lemons for that. It is so tasty! (see pic)

Today, it was rainy, windy, and cold. We decided to go see the new movie, “Ugly Dolls,” currently in the theater. It was really cute, and I appreciated the message of accepting others who look or act differently than you. I’m grateful God makes us all unique!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!