Tag: grief

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Worship

Wake Up and Worship!

I don’t know about you, but my morning mood can impact my entire day. There are days when I wake up peaceful and rested. But sometimes, I wake up groggy and distracted.

Either way, within minutes I’m usually thinking of all I have to do that day. Sometimes my schedule is relaxed and at other times, I have less flexibility.

Often, changes in my schedule can throw me off my routine and influence my mood—if I let them. It is my choice to adjust my attitude or not!

A few years ago, in the midst of deep grief, it was difficult to find much motivation to rise early, let alone actually accomplish anything. That was perhaps par-for-the-course…understandable.

But praise God, these days I feel like I am mostly back to myself! Now, I’m trying to be more proactive. Life is short and I don’t want to waste my time!

As such, I’ve been slowly chipping away at my morning routine. I want to develop good, sustainable habits that don’t get altered too much with visitors, traveling, holidays, meetings, etc. You know how it goes!

It’s something I’ve been working on for years, but have not always been consistent. Then I have to start over… I’m a work in progress!

It’s generally good to have something to look forward to each morning—especially when you rise before the sun. Why not wake up and worship Jesus?!

Recently, I discovered how to make a playlist on YouTube. I didn’t realize how easy it was!

So, I have collected several morning-themed songs to encourage myself and help me put on my ‘game face.’ I also have a playlist for songs dealing with fear, and one for calming me down (as needed, ha!).

Currently, I have added “Good Morning” by Mandisa; “Happy” by Pharell Williams; “Your Love Awakens Me” by Phil Wickham; this song, and a few TobyMac songs.

I just add them as I hear them or think of them.

Yesterday, I had a little extra time before leaving for work, and I just enjoyed worshiping God and finding songs to add to my playlists. I left feeling so uplifted and grateful for the day ahead!

God’s mercies are new every morning. He is so generous and fills our ‘cup’ to abundance. He loves us so much!

Starting off with Jesus sets my whole day in order. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to praise Him and receive His goodness. Worship Him early and often!

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God, thank You for the gift of music! May the morning bring us word of Your unfailing love. Please direct our path as we put our trust and hope in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you have any early morning songs that get you out of bed? I’d love to build my list!

Tasks: Consider making a morning worship playlist. Listen while you exercise or get ready for your day! (You might need headphones if the rest of your household is still sleeping!) 🙂

 

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Wisdom

Counting Every Blessing

It’s that time of year again! Lydia started school this week! She has been so excited for about a month. She could hardly sleep on Monday night… Tuesday, she started a new school and was happy to see her friends.

I’m proud of Lydia for all the ways she’s already grown. She’s been challenging herself to try new things and be more independent. Her dad, my late-husband, Dave, would also be so very proud.

I have been purposely relying on the Lord as we start this new season. As such, I haven’t really thought much about the bittersweet nature of our circumstances. Still, this week is one of those times when it is apparent: Dave’s not here.

Lydia’s teacher seems really sweet. She’s a first-year teacher and full of excitement, too. When we met her, I didn’t want to burst her bubble… so, I simply wrote her a short explanation about Dave on Lydia’s back to school papers.

Yesterday, after Lydia got off the bus, we went home and talked about her day over a scoop of ice cream. She had a fun day, of course, and I know she will have a great year.

To my surprise, Lydia said she was glad I didn’t mention Dave to her teacher in person. Specifically, she said, “I’m glad you didn’t cry like you did last year.”  (and the year before…) I might have embarrassed her previously!

Truthfully, I’m happy Lydia seems unaffected, but it makes me slightly sad. I have tried to ensure that she knows who Dave was and that he loved her very much. I want her to be able to talk about him whenever she feels the need. I want her to be okay with it.

But instead of feeling sorry for myself (and Lydia), I decided to count my blessings!

First, I’m grateful for Lydia! She’s always a bright spot and has kept me moving forward. I love to coach her and watch her grow. I don’t know where I’d be without her!

I’m grateful Lydia and I can have honest, heartfelt conversations about tough topics. We have had many ups and downs, which has made it interesting!

I’m also grateful Lydia is so much like Dave. She doesn’t overthink things like I do! She is pragmatic like Dave and has a good perspective. Though, she is like me in lots of other ways.

I’m grateful for how well Dave set us up. Because of his planning and God’s provision, Lydia and I are in a good position. I have no reason to complain!

I’m extremely grateful that each year, we’ve reached new levels of healing. We think of and talk about Dave often, but we are still living a full life in spite of our loss(es).

I’m grateful for so many things, actually. But most of all, I’m grateful that God’s still holding us together. He has brought us this far and we are doing well.

I can trust Him with confidence. He’s got this!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good! Thanks for taking such great care of us. Open our eyes to each of Your blessings and help us trust You more in this new season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you find yourself in a new season of life? Have you been expecting it or did it take you by surprise?

Tasks: Listen to this song, “Counting Every Blessing,” by Rend Collective! It’s so good!

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Miscellaneous, Perseverance

Book Review: And Still She Laughs

I recently finished a book called, And Still She Laughs: Defiant Joy in the Depths of Suffering, by Kate Merrick. This book took me by surprise. (No affiliate links!) It is somewhat like a memoir in that the author explains some details of her story. Her 8 year old daughter died of cancer and she shares glimpses into that ordeal.

Even though this tragedy happened years before, the book was more ‘raw’ than I expected. Still, I enjoyed it! While anyone could benefit from this book, I’d highly recommend the book for someone in the early years of grief and loss.

I really appreciated how the author compared her story to three ladies in the Bible. Ms. Merrick and King David’s mistress, Bathsheba, both lost a child under very different circumstances. Yet, God used the ups and downs, shame and embarrassment of Bathsheba’s story to comfort the author. Ms. Merrick wrote how Bathsheba walked with her through this chapter of her life.

Next, Abraham’s wife, Sarah, longed for a child so much that she took matters into her own hands. This created so… many… other… problems. I have read this story in Genesis 18:9-15 countless times—but somehow I must’ve misinterpreted Sarah’s laugh. I always thought she laughed because she was nervous… Nope!

9 “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him. “There, in the tent,” he said.

10 Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

13 Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”

Perhaps the biggest revelation to me in this entire book was that Sarah laughed out of bitterness. I imagine an eye roll with attitude, like, “Ha! Yeah right! I’ll believe that when it happens…” After years of waiting, she had let herself grow bitter with disappointment and unfulfilled dreams. Not only was I surprised by this, I was somewhat convicted too.

Because I realized… sometimes I act similarly. Whenever God shows me something good He wants to give me, but then makes me wait it out, I tend to doubt His goodness and plan. If I’m not careful, I can let that grow into bitterness and reject all the good God wants to do in me, for me, with me, and through me.

God is so gracious to heal and forgive! Sarah trusted God and then named her promised son, Isaac, which means laughter. What joy she must have felt after all those years! After this chapter, I decided to keep an open mind and not automatically laugh away things I don’t understand.

The last Biblical heroine to be discussed was Mary, the mother of Jesus. Again, this was rather enlightening because often, I read her story focused on the action surrounding Jesus…not on how she must’ve felt about all that happened.

It is interesting to compare and contrast these three ladies in Jesus’ genealogy. Where Bathsheba was comforting, and Sarah was convicting, Mary was challenging. Mary just had so much faith in what Jesus could/can do! Despite watching her beloved Son suffer and die on the Cross, she found joy in God’s promises to her.

The books ties up with a glimpse at the Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31:25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Regardless of our circumstances, we can choose joy—and even laugh—because of all Jesus has done (and continues to do) for us.

It’s safe to say, I gleaned more from this book than I thought I would.

There is freedom knowing Jesus carries us. We don’t have to solve all our problems; we just have to come to Him. We can laugh (or cry) in His presence and He will heal our hearts.

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God, thanks for the healing You bring. You are so good! Thanks for giving us joy and the ability to laugh despite our circumstances. May we stay in Your presence and soak up Your grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you read any good books lately? Do you have a recommendation for me?!

Tasks: If you are grieving or know someone who is, consider this book. <3

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Wisdom

The Difference Between Moving On and Moving Forward

Yesterday, we reached a big milestone in our grace journey. It was five years since Dave died…and five years of walking it out step-by-step.

Each moment has been drenched in God’s grace.

Five years ago, it felt like this milestone would never arrive. I had no plan and no clue what to do. (And for a planner, that’s kind of a big deal!) Suffice it to say, we faced a lot of challenges.

Yesterday felt noteworthy—yet at the same time felt just like any other day. The normalcy of it made me even more aware of God’s thorough healing. While it hasn’t been easy, I’m grateful.

I want Lydia to associate this day with goodness—instead of pain or sorrow—and identify the overwhelming Victory we have in Christ. So, each year I’ve given her a small token to mark the occasion.

Needless to say, Lydia was excited about yesterday. She woke up with such anticipation, “This is going to be a great day!” I loved her cheerful attitude; she loved the little cat ring I gave her before school.

So yesterday, we celebrated Dave’s memory and that he is safe and secure… By God’s grace, we are still standing strong! Thank You, Jesus. Every Victory is found in You!

Often, we pray for God to do big things, and then want to tell Him how to accomplish all our ideas. But His ways are bigger than our ways. Our small minds cannot comprehend all the good He has in store for us.

 As He promised in Romans 8:28, God has used this horrible tragedy for my good and His glory…so I can, in turn, help others and bless them. My goal is to then point people back to see God’s goodness in their own lives.

Honestly, I don’t need to understand the “why factor.” I am just grateful that God knows exactly what we need. His grace covers me and I can move forward in Victory.

Victory starts with Jesus at the Cross and His Resurrection but then carries over into everyday life. Each day brings opportunities to live victoriously. We have the choice to stand firm or move forward.

For me, standing firm means NOT running away from all the pain and sorrow—which is the exact opposite of what I sometimes want to do. Standing firm means not giving up even an inch of that holy ground. Moving forward is taking that first step and then another and another.

Some Victories are large and some are small. Some come easy and some are a struggle. Either way, slow and steady progress is still good.

It is strange to think that many of my friends now, never even met Dave… These days, I don’t share as much about him because sometimes the timing or mood isn’t right. Still, I appreciate anyone who will listen when I really need it. Thank you!!

After a big life change, people often get a ‘grace period’ to adjust. Though, after five years, perhaps some people would say it is time to move on. (I get it. Life goes on.) But, there is a difference between moving on and moving forward. And really, you can’t do both!

Moving on implies that we need to cut our losses and forget the past. Just get over it already! Moving on feels like an either/or option. You can either stay stuck or leave everything behind.

Moving forward, on the other hand, acknowledges the pain, grief, loss, or other wound but chooses to see beyond it. It is inclusive of one’s past and current experiences but allows for new options in the future. Moving forward may seem agonizing at first but is worth it in the long-run.

Moving on is the gut reaction—handling it on your own. Keep your head down and work hard to push through the pain. The problem is that approach is not sustainable. It uses up our energy so we have nothing left to give.

Moving forward, then, is the grace response—letting Jesus do the heavy work. Keep your head high—focused on Jesus—honor the past, and be brave. Surprisingly, we find more energy and power because the Holy Spirit covers our weakness and renews us with His strength.

Each person’s journey looks different. There is no one-size-fits-all ‘right’ way to deal with life’s pain and trials. But, for me, the greater Victory is found in moving forward with Jesus. He is faithful and can do far more than we could ever ask or imagine!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for all Your grace and goodness toward us. All glory and praise to You, Lord. Help us continue to move forward in Victory as you bring freedom and wholeness. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Questions: What are your thoughts on standing firm, moving forward, and moving on? Do you feel like you are living in Victory—or still struggling?

Tasks: Praising God is one way to keep moving forward and refocus on Jesus. Listen to this song: “Surrender” (Fight My Battles) by Michael W. Smith

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

Book Review: When God Doesn’t Fix It

Recently, I finished another book that I’d highly recommend to anyone dealing with grief or trying to understand how life has turned out so differently than planned…

The book is called, When God Doesn’t Fix It, by Laura Story. Like the other memoir I reviewed, this book also was published two years ago, but I wasn’t ready for it then. I’m so grateful for God’s healing grace—and for how far He has brought me!

The author is an award-winning singer, songwriter, and worship leader. But twelve years ago, her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent a ‘successful’ surgery. However, he now has several deficits including short-term memory problems and loss of peripheral vision. Parts of the story are very funny and other parts are very poignant.

The book has many parallels to my own story, yet both are still unique. Of course, I can relate to the ups and downs of dealing with health issues. When he was sick with cancer, my late-husband, Dave required more care as time went on, but didn’t improve. Life never returned to the way it was.

Ms. Story dispels several myths we believe about God and shows the Truth using Scripture. The Lord always keeps His promises (See 2 Corinthians 1:20)! But often, we place expectations on Him that He never agreed to do for us. Then, we tend to feel betrayed and blame God when He doesn’t come through like we think He should.

Take, for example, the subject of healing. Indeed, Jesus certainly did heal many people. However, as great as that was, physical healing was not His main goal. We see in Luke 19:10 that Jesus came “to seek and to save that which was lost.” Thus, He had a greater purpose in mind than just physical healing…

(The book gives more details and more examples, but I can trust the Lord for greater things in my life too!)

I appreciated that Ms. Story wrote honestly about her faith journey, one that has more questions than answers. She and her family have repeatedly prayed for healing but have had to learn to move forward without the resolution they desire. Her husband’s condition has not improved, but they have chosen to grow through the experience.

Ms. Story didn’t pretend to understand the “why factor.” Instead of demanding God to fix her family’s problems, they are embracing the present journey. They are choosing to praise Jesus and live for Him, becoming better, not bitter.

This book reminds me that we don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.

God is SO good!!

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Father God, thanks for all You do for me. Thanks for graciously guiding me and providing for me. Help me to praise You even when I don’t understand my circumstances. Help me to walk in faith! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are your God-sized questions that seem to have no answers? How can you trust Jesus and move forward?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Blessings,” by Laura Story. If you read her book, When God Doesn’t Fix It, let me know what you think!

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance

Book Review: When Breath Becomes Air

This week I finished a book that has been in my queue for quite some time. The book, When Breath Becomes Air, was published in 2016, but in all honesty, I wasn’t ready for it back then.

Several friends recommended the book, but I didn’t know if I could handle the intensity at the time. I didn’t want to get sucked into another cycle of grief!

Now, however, I am in a much different place. I decided to listen to the audio version, but I do have a copy of the physical book as well. I highly recommend this book!

The book was written by Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon diagnosed with lung cancer in 2013 at the age of 36. He died in March 2015 just before his 38th birthday, and this book tracks his journey from physician to patient.

The story is quite compelling on its own, but even more so because of our own experience with cancer. I was struck by the similarities between this story and ours.

Mr. Kalanithi was on the verge of reaching his career goals—yet was sidetracked with sickness. Like my late husband, Dave, he did his best at work—regardless of how he felt physically. Both men loved their jobs!

The book also discusses how terminal illness can make a marriage and other relationships stronger. That happened to us too. Mr. Kalanithi sought to secure a good future for his wife, Lucy, and infant daughter, who was born while he was sick. He was always thinking about them.

As his death grew nearer, time seemed to slow down for the author. All of his accolades and accomplishments did not matter. He just wanted to soak up time with his wife, little daughter, and other loved ones.

Mr. Kalanithi was particularly close to his family, and I appreciated the fact that they were so supportive. I, too, am grateful for all the support we have received from family and friends!

For much of the book, it was as if I was hearing Dave tell his side of the story. I found it comforting to perhaps understand a little more about how Dave might’ve felt.

The book was different enough from my experiences that I didn’t have a hard time listening. Yet, the last few chapters were quite compelling because the author’s thoughts, feelings, and physical limitations paralleled what I went through with Dave.

Despite the heartbreak, it was reassuring to hear the same types of questions we dealt with regarding chemo, palliative care, and end of life decisions.

I was encouraged to hear Mr. Kalanithi talk about his faith and hope. He knew the risks and statistics about lung cancer but was never hopeless. He wanted to live his life to the fullest and sought purpose and meaning each day.

Both Mr. Kalanithi and Dave were in their mid-thirties when they were diagnosed and died. Mr. Kalanithi had lung cancer and Dave had colon cancer, but both are not as common in younger people. (Though, that may be changing now.)

Both men had young daughters too little to remember their fathers. Cady Kalanthi was 8 months old when her daddy died; Lydia was 17 months old when Dave died. I’m thankful for the legacies these men left behind.

Neither the author nor my late husband spent much time feeling sorry for themselves. They didn’t complain, but were brave and set an example for others!

If you haven’t already read this book, please consider it! It was helpful to remember that my story is not all that unique. Instead of focusing on all I have lost, I can cherish what I do have: Lydia and precious memories.

Praise God, I also have hope and a good future ahead of me (Jeremiah 29:11)! Yes, Life has turned out differently than expected, but Jesus has been so faithful all these years.

He is so good to us!

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Dear God, thanks for taking such good care of me. Thanks for Your protection and provision through life’s ups and downs. Thank You for your grace! I trust You for a good future. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you read any good books lately? Do prefer physical books or audiobooks or ebooks?

Tasks: Check out this book! Let me know what you think!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Worship

I Belong to God

Last Friday night, I, along with three other ladies, spoke at a women’s event at our church. We each briefly shared our stories as it related to the theme: I Belong to God.

Ironically, each of us interpreted the theme differently, but each story provided a unique angle and gave a deeper, more well-rounded view of the theme. How cool!

One lady shared about how she doesn’t always feel like she belongs. She often feels outside the social circle, but with Jesus, she never has to feel that way.

Another lady shared about how belonging to Christ gives her identity. She shared how she has grown over the years as she understood who she is in Christ.

I shared a quick version of my story, and the fourth lady’s story was about saying yes to God’s call. We also sang worship songs in between testimonies.

For my story, I shared I had grown up in a Christian home and met Jesus at a young age. While I had the head knowledge that Jesus loved me, in my heart, I was afraid.

Looking back, it was difficult for me to put a finger on the root of my fear—and because I couldn’t figure out exactly what the problem was, I never really dealt with it. I just let it become a stronghold over the years. In some ways, fear became my comfort zone.

Then, I shared about moving to Fargo and about our cancer journey. What an emotional roller coaster! It wasn’t easy—our faith was stretched thin at times—but we chose to trust Jesus. And, He really did come through for us in so many ways.

When everything in my life fell apart, God was there to catch me and pick up the pieces. I saw that He is bigger than all my worst fears and was the only sure thing that remained after Dave died. He has taken such good care of me and my daughter, Lydia.

Recently, I came across a quote by Emily Freeman: She says, “When you can’t see God’s hand, trust His heart.” I love that because we all find ourselves in unexpected situations and seasons that we didn’t plan.

If you are facing a choice between FEAR and FAITH, choose faith.

When you belong to God, you can cling to Him in the midst of uncertainty. You can trust in His provision. And, you can rest in His grace. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. He’s got you covered!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good! Thanks for setting me free from fear. Help me walk in Your grace and live for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your story and does it include Jesus? Have you ever written it down or shared it with someone?

Tasks: Write down the evidence of God’s grace in your life—share them someone who needs encouragement. Listen to the song, “It Is Well” by Kristene DiMarco and Bethel Music.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

On Feelings and Frostbite

Yesterday (Tuesday), I had the opportunity to speak at a local moms group. By request, I shared my story in light of making end-of-life decisions. My goal was to provide perspective and offer basic information for these moms.

Through a casual conversation, we discussed wills, trusts, life insurance, and more. To be clear, I am not an expert on any of these topics. But I have experienced the how-tos and what-not-to-dos.

I also recommended these ladies consult with an attorney, accountant, and/or a financial planner. I don’t recommend taking a lot of unwarranted risks in these areas!

I really enjoyed speaking with these moms, and afterward, I went to work like usual. But the emotions caught up with me there (unexpectedly), as my coworker and I just-so-happened to discuss similar topics. Gotta love God’s timing!

Occasionally, I still get a little teary-eyed when discussing all we went through with cancer. And lately, I have been reflecting on our journey more anyway…

I know March will be here soon, and I can’t help but think of two important times. First, I recall March 2010 when Dave found his job in Fargo. We moved later that year, which set the stage for other big life changes.

I’ve also been thinking of March 2013 when Dave was so sick and near death (he died in May that year). That was a tumultuous time and we felt desperate.

This flux of emotions tends to cycle through periodically, though as we move toward March, I have felt it more. Perhaps that’s because we are also fast-approaching another milestone: the five year anniversary of Dave’s death.

Yesterday, we also received several inches of snow. That’s not unusual for February, but I still had to blow snow in the dark of morning and shovel twice. For me, snow removal builds character (ha!), but yesterday, I was more reflective.

In the afternoon, I shoveled away the snow and contemplated my sadness. The physical activity was good for me and channeled my emotions into something productive.

I thought it would be a quick job, so didn’t change out of my work clothes. I wore lightweight dress pants and my lightweight gloves. I didn’t wear a hat and my hood kept falling off. I wanted to work quickly so my fingers wouldn’t freeze!

After about twenty minutes, I thought about going inside to warm up. But, I was still praying through my emotions and just wanted to finish. I threw more snow on already-high mounds. It was difficult because it required a lot of effort to corral the snow!

Soon, my fingers weren’t cold anymore—they were numb.

It was only when I came in about fifteen minutes later that I noticed my fingers again. They were bright red and tingled, like other parts of my skin. There was no frostbite, but that’s not unheard of with extreme wind chills like we have in Fargo.

Thankfully, I had gotten through both the snow and the rough emotions.

Praise God, I felt so much better!

As I put away my snow shovel, I thought about how people manage their emotions in a similar manner. Many people try to ‘shovel away’ their sorrows, without actually understanding the pain. It’s like having spiritual or emotional frostbite.

They bury sadness and grief, frustration and remorse, anger and resentment without dealing with them. They don’t allow themselves the time to heal. Some people freeze their feelings, becoming numb and unable to function properly.

For me, the pain can still feel rough at times, though it has gotten much better overall.

Nonetheless, I still allow myself to feel my emotions and pray them through. The feelings don’t last forever, and I know it will be okay…sooner or later.  

Like snow, healing is messy. It can be difficult work to decipher our feelings and keep them contained. Yet, I always learn more about myself in the process. Reaching a new level of healing or self-understanding isn’t always fun…but it is a valuable gift!

Yesterday, I was also reminded of God’s grace and goodness. Only He can bring full healing. And, the more I share my story, the more grateful I become.

God has been so faithful to me. He has provided for me in ways I cannot even explain. Despite my losses, He has never let me down. What Victory!

Yes, when everything feels like it is falling apart, Jesus is there. He is greater than my pain or problems, and He loves me through each trial. He protects me and allows me to be myself—feelings and all. By His grace, He holds me together!

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Dear God, thank You so much for your grace and goodness. Thanks for taking such great care of me. Please direct my path and guide me on this journey. Thanks that I don’t have to get stuck emotionally. I choose to move forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you experienced any signs of spiritual or emotional frostbite? Will you let Jesus handle it?

Tasks: Listen to ‘King of My Heart’ by Kutless and ‘I Will Call Upon the Lord’ by Elevation Worship. Write down your feelings and experiences in a journal. Trust in Jesus!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

It’s Totally Unfair!

This has been an… ‘interesting’… year already. I have seen God direct my path and use me to make a practical difference in other peoples’ lives. But, honestly, I’ve also seen some things that seem totally unfair to me or others…

For example, recently a friend slipped on her child’s Legos in the dark, hitting her entertainment center—with her face.  She busted her nose and needed major surgery. An accident yes, but still unfair.

Another friend had to forgive someone for major offenses when they clearly didn’t deserve it. Forgiveness is required for that relationship to move forward. But it’s definitely not fair.

I have seen friends struggle with various injustices, such as discrimination, financial difficulties, and health problems, too. It is easy to see how anger and resentment build up.

My own story is complex with its own challenges and I know yours is, too. We don’t have time to rehash or compare our stories here… Besides, these issues are not always bad—though at times they really do seem unfair.

Most of us, if we allow ourselves, could easily go down the “poor me” path or the “this would be better if” road. But one thing is certain: Complaining doesn’t help.

If our emotions are allowed to run the show, we will get stuck and never move forward! Instead, I have learned the best thing I can do is redirect my focus back to Jesus. When we bring Him our fear, pain, sorrow, anger, resentment, and embarrassment, He gives us hope, healing, wholeness, peace, forgiveness, and joy.

We can trust Jesus through and through. As both God and man, He has a unique perspective. He understands what each of goes through because He has been there, too.

You see, Jesus faced the same types of battles. Quite often, He didn’t know where His next meal was coming from or where He would sleep. Yet, He was expected to help people at all hours of the day/night. He was often put to the test and judged unfairly. He was used by the people but rarely thanked.

Also, Jesus was like a local celebrity so He was scrutinized at a higher level. He never could win over everyone—but He reached out to help as many as would receive Him.

All Jesus did was done with love. He healed people and comforted them. He even raised the dead back to life! He taught new ways to love and used His own life as an example to follow. Yet, he was still rejected.

Then, at the end of His young life, Jesus was wrongly accused and suffered a horrible death on the cross. Completely unfair. But to Jesus, we were worth it. He loves us so very much!

When I compare my conditions to what Jesus faced, I have no room to grumble. Jesus was well-acquainted with the ups and downs of life. So… if Jesus had to struggle, then we have no excuse.

At least we are in good company!

By definition, grace is an unmerited or unearned favor. Yes, God’s grace toward us is also unfair! We don’t deserve any of it!

Thankfully, God does not see our uncertain circumstances like we do. He can see the end from the beginning—and His thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours.

Trials have a way of refining us for the better—though it may take some time to see how. But no matter what we face, God loves us and is for us. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. He leads us and guides us.

God never changes. And no problem or difficulty—however big or bad—can change God’s goodness toward us. He has us covered!

Yes, God’s grace is unchanging, unfailing, unrelenting, unearned—and praise God, totally unfair!!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Jesus! Your everlasting love and abundant grace toward us are beyond unfair. Thank You! Help us have the right attitude as we walk in grace, love, and forgiveness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you respond when life seems unfair? Can you trust Jesus?

Tasks: Listen to “O’Lord” by Lauren Daigle and “Grace that Won’t Let Go,” by Mark Harris

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Jesus is Greater

For the last two weeks, I have been scribing the Gospel of John with friends. We are enjoying the process so far, which includes people in eleven states. My friends have invited their friends, too!

It’s amazing how much more I have noticed when going slow and writing it down word-for-word. We are each going at our own pace, but checking in as we go. I have divided each chapter into sections so we just post on what we are currently working on.

I’ve noticed everything from punctuation to chronology, such as the timing of miracles and Jesus’ calling of his disciples. I can sense John’s attention to detail and the honor he must’ve felt when writing about his dear friend and savior. I can also see God’s love pouring through each page and each interaction.

Already, I am amazed at how many times the religious leaders ask Jesus to prove Himself and His authority with a sign. Yet, we do the same thing.

We pray and then immediately want to see our prayers answered. We ask for guidance and then want something to pop up (out of nowhere!) to show that we are on track.

But we can trust in Jesus, the Living Word. He is greater than all things because He was before all things and created all things. He was in the beginning with God…

I love that every single time someone asked Jesus to help, He did. To start, He turned water into wine! And later, He provided food, healed the sick, calmed a storm, and raised the dead…

He met with people in everyday places: weddings (Cana), funerals (Lazarus), drinking fountains (woman at the well), and in the middle of the night (Nicodemus).

When we understand just how much Jesus loves us, we don’t need a sign. We can do what He says (obey) and let Him work out the details on our behalf.

He knows what is best for us and loves to provide us with all we need.

When we pray, we can have confidence that God hears us. We know He is moving, even when we don’t see something happening. We walk by faith, not by sight.

It’s not always easy. In fact, I know lots of people who are going through really tough situations right now. Life hasn’t gone according to plan.

Like Nicodemus, you may have a lot of questions for the Lord. He is the Answer.

Even Jesus went through brutal circumstances, too. He was often judged and misunderstood. His own people used him for miracles but then rejected him. He gave and He gave and He gave. Yet Jesus was rarely thanked for all He did.

Then, on top of that, He was crucified…and still chose to forgive. Wow…

I don’t know the exact details of your situation, but Jesus does. He cares deeply about all you are experiencing. With His help, you can do all you need to do.

Whether you need a friend, provision, peace, healing, mercy, or forgiveness, come to Jesus. Or, maybe you need to do the forgiving—if you let Him, Jesus will enable you to rebuild and move forward with Victory.

Cling to Jesus. He loves you beyond measure. Whatever you need, let Jesus help. With Him, nothing is impossible!! Praise the Lord!!

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Father God, thank You for Jesus! Lord, you are greater than anything we face. Please give us wisdom and courage. Help us to do what is right. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you believe that Jesus is with you and for you? Will you trust Him to help you?

Tasks: Listen to the song ‘How He Loves Us‘ by the David Crowder Band.