Tag: fear

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance

Holiday Grieving Tips

It’s that time of year again. The holidays.

While this season is a time of celebration for most people, grief can make it particularly tough. When we miss loved ones (or are working through other losses), every day can be a struggle. It can be difficult to focus when the holiday season moves so fast.

If you’re dealing with grief this year, whether your loss is fresh or not, it still hurts. From special events to favorite songs or foods…nothing is the same anymore.

This is my seventh holiday season without my late husband, Dave. Each year has been so different, but thankfully, I have learned to keep an open mind and to keep it simple.

I have also learned to lay aside most expectations during this time. I don’t feel the need to attend every party. I don’t feel like I have to fake brave or fake holiday cheer. That doesn’t mean other people should have to feel how I do, but my feelings have a place too.

I always recommend talking about how you are feeling. Telling stories about loved ones we are missing honors them and can bring healing. A trusted friend can provide extra support and encouragement. Having someone listen without judgment is a true gift!

Similarly, serving others can also provide a way to shift our focus. As we meet the needs around us, we will see the beauty and joy God provides for us and through us.

The holiday season also includes Lydia’s birthday, Dave’s birthday, and our anniversary. So, each year is a toss-up on if/how I decorate, travel, or make certain festive foods…

There is freedom in playing it all by ear and not feeling pressure to figure it all out.

This year feels much better so far, but I am still taking each day as it comes. So far, I have watched Christmas movies, put up our tree, and have made special treats with Lydia!

I also have paid for snow removal services to ease the burden a little.

It won’t happen overnight, but the pain does feel better in time. Just stay close to Jesus and honor where you are right now. It will be alright.

Recently, I have found it helpful to review just how far God has brought me. While He continues to write your story, I pray you will find encouragement in these throwback posts:

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Hope and Healing for the Holidays

Gifts Galore

O Christmas Tree

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your grace and faithfulness! You are so good. Help me lean on You today and always. Bring peace and comfort to those who are heartbroken this season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How are you preparing for the holidays? Are you looking forward to all the celebrations or eager for them to be over already?

Tasks: I would love to pray for you during this season, especially if you are struggling with grief and loss. You can reach me through email at:  nat.grace.lemonade@gmail.com

 

 

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

The Beauty of Fractals

Recently, I requested and received feedback for a project I’ve been working on. My project was reviewed, and in due time, I was told it is “middling.”

Mediocre, so-so, and average are synonyms for this word. Perhaps the feedback was meant as constructive criticism, but at the time, it really hurt.

It’s not that I disagreed. I intentionally try to keep things simple! I purposely try to ‘make plain’ difficult concepts and help people understand so they can take effective action.

So, to help me deal with my initial reaction, I prayed about it. Thankfully, I realized one person doesn’t have the final say on my project. There are several other factors to consider. 

I shouldn’t disregard the feedback entirely, and I do need to make some changes. But regardless of what happens, I shouldn’t stress about other people’s expectations.

I will do my best, but I don’t need to impress people by ‘glamorizing’ my project. It’s just not who I am. In fact, I often get lost in the details and suspect many others do, too.

I have decided if my project brings me joy, that is a good indicator I am on the right track. I believe God is pleased with my project, and my joy is just as important as my effort.

Around the same time, I learned more about another topic, called “fractal geometry.” This is the real-world application of mathematic principles.

For instance, there are formulas to calculate how much space comprises a cone or pyramid. Traditional geometry works great in theory, but a mountain is not a true cone or pyramid. It has crags and is otherwise ‘misshapen.’ 

Thus, fractal geometry allows us to adjust and use the information to meet our needs. There is much beauty in the asymmetry and imperfection of fractals.

Every coastline has nonlinear jags and is constantly changing thanks to erosion. Also, tree bark is not an exact sphere, and neither branches nor leaves are spaced evenly. In fact, each tree species has its own special pattern that defies theoretical calculations.

Snowflakes, rivers, and blood vessels have fractal qualities, too. So do we!

God has designed us each uniquely. Thus, we really can’t compare one of us to another.

Each of us was designed by God to live for Him and bring Him praise. But each of us does that differently. Even if we sing the same song, our voices are different. And, the gratitude with which we sing is also unique to the challenges we have faced.

Together, my small group ladies read the YouVersion devotional called, “Double Blessing.” It is based on the new book by Mark Batterson. The author mentioned the complexity of fractals and something called a Mandelbrot set.

Mr. Batterson also explained how in Lamentations 3:22-23, it says God’s mercies are new every morning, but that word “new” also implies “different” mercies. There are no repeats. God always matches His mercies to our individual circumstances and obstacles.

Even if we do similar things every day, the pattern is always slightly different. God meets us there and provides His mercy and grace in just the right amount. No two days or experiences are exactly alike. Isn’t that amazing?!

I don’t know what your circumstances are today. I hope everything is going well for you, but even if it’s not, I pray you will trust in God’s mercies.

Perhaps, like me, you have been told you aren’t good at something. But that doesn’t mean you are good at nothing. If God has called you to do something for Him, He will provide the ideas, skills, resources, and perfect timing. Trust Him!

That doesn’t mean everything will come easy to you. If it’s worth doing, it will likely take hard work, diligence, and perseverance. But, God will help you and give you the ability!

God has a good, specially-designed purpose for you! Of course, Life is full of random expectations and hoops to jump through, but you don’t have to live for other people’s feedback. Sift through what is necessary and adjust your own expectations. Then, walk in your God-given strengths and trust Him to cover Your weaknesses. He is faithful!

As long as you are doing your best, don’t worry about proving yourself. Just follow Jesus, and He will take care of the rest. He will empower you to walk in His plan.

Remember, God’s mercies are both new and different every day. There is always enough time and grace to live for Him. His love never fails!

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Heavenly Father, I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Please help me live for your approval only. Help me wisely discern the feedback I receive. Help me walk the unique path You have designed for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How can you praise God in a way no one else can? Does the concept of fractals change anything for you?

Tasks: Start looking for ‘fractals’ in everyday life! They are all around us! Praise God for all the ways He works in your life. Write down how He has been faithful to you!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous

Forever Grateful

Lydia came home yesterday from school and told me about her day. She said one of the best parts of her day was in gym class. She told me about an obstacle course the students completed in the spirit of celebrating Veterans Day.

There was no school on Monday due to the holiday, so her class celebrated later. Each student pretended to be a soldier and had to climb, jump, crawl, swing, etc. through a series of challenges. At home, Lydia happily showed me examples in our basement work out area. She told me I had to use my imagination, of course!

We briefly discussed how difficult it must be to be a real-life soldier… and how we can honor them and be grateful for them. It was interesting to hear Lydia’s perspective.

Now that I work with Veterans (and only Veterans), I am more in tune with the struggles they face. I will never fully understand those issues, but I appreciate their many sacrifices on my behalf. Without Veterans and an active military, who knows how our lives could be?

It is quite humbling when you think about it.

The best way to show our gratitude is to live in such a way as to honor these brave men and women. As we celebrate our many freedoms, that may look different for each of us.

In short, we can each spend our time, money, and other resources in unique ways.

That’s part of the beauty of being free! We have the ability to choose.

All gave some. Some gave all.

Of course, Jesus Christ also gave His all for us. It cost him everything. He gave us the ultimate freedom from sin and the gift of eternal life with Him.

I’m forever grateful. Our lives are (and can be) changed because Jesus gave His. 

Because of Jesus, we are free from fear. What a relief! We don’t have to be afraid!

Also, we are free to be kind and generous toward others, even if they cannot repay us. We can have daily peace and joy regardless of our circumstances. We can do what is right without worrying about what other people think.

The list goes on and on.

Again, how we use our various freedoms will surely look different depending on many factors. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Just walk in grace and freedom… and be grateful.

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Jesus, thanks for dying for us and buying us freedom! Help us walk freely in Your grace and love. Help us take nothing You’ve given us for granted. Help us be wise! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What American freedoms are you most thankful for? How do you show your gratitude to all those who have fought for our freedom?

Tasks: Write a thank you note to a Veteran or active soldier and listen to his or her experiences (if they are willing to share). Visit a National Cemetery to honor sacrifices made on your behalf. In Fargo, check out the newly dedicated Fargo National Cemetery!

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer

Finding Grace #192

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was full of ups and downs, along with the fullness of God’s grace!

On Monday morning, I received a disappointing ‘confirmation’ that something I had hoped for wasn’t going in my favor. It will be alright and, though it may be difficult currently, it is actually a good thing in the long run. I prayed about it and am trusting God. Ironically, as soon as this happened, a friend texted me and asked if we could have dinner together. It was a well-timed visit and I was glad for the company. We briefly discussed my issue while we caught up and encouraged each other! It was refreshing.

On Tuesday evening, I received some more discouraging news. It is unrelated to the other issue, but again, I was praying for a different outcome. Once again, I was upset and God provided another friend to encourage me. We had dinner and caught up, too. I really appreciate friends who help me see God’s goodness and grace! Encountering resistance helps us lean on God and remember we don’t have to worry because He is in control!

On Thursday, more friends came over for Bible study. We had a good conversation and I shared my updates with them. One friend made a good point, that it was good to know this information sooner rather than later so I can readjust my plans. I agreed that God’s timing is perfect. And, I am no worse off than before… I just have a clearer path to follow now.

Work went well this week! I transitioned to my part-time schedule (my actual job). I previously was working full-time while someone was on maternity leave. I am grateful for both opportunities (working more or less), and it feels good to have work-life balance. I even picked Lydia up early from daycare early!

Today, we are celebrating Lydia’s November birthday early! Because she was born close to Thanksgiving, getting friends together for a party can be tricky. So, we decided to do it this weekend instead. Lydia decided to take a friend to paint pottery at a local shop. Then, we had pizza and brownies. So far, the girls are having a fun sleepover and have painted fingernails, watched a show, and are singing while playing several games. 🙂

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Wisdom

The First Step

If you ask any parent, having an obedient child is a blessing. Training kids to listen and follow-through is an ideal goal, but so hard to do consistently. Obviously, life definitely goes more smoothly when children do what they are asked. Yes, I’m speaking from experience. 😉

As Christ-followers, God expects us to be obedient, too. In fact, Jesus said being obedient (doing what He says) is a mark of our love for Him. It seems obvious, yet, like dearly loved children, we often struggle, too.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote, “A whole lot of what we call ‘struggling’ is simply delayed obedience.” How true!

Thankfully, even one small step of obedience can pave the way for growth. The first step, taken in faith, can create even more opportunities to trust God.

Recently, I took a small step of obedience which really felt like a long shot. I had been praying for some answers regarding a friend who had been ignoring me. I wondered if I should ask this person over for dinner, but was feeling hurt and fearing rejection.

I had several other tasks to do that night, and dinner with this friend wasn’t the most ‘convenient’ option. But, I put aside my feelings and to-do list. I extended the invitation anyway, leaving the outcome in God’s hands.

I made one of my friend’s favorite meals, hoping that would entice her to come. It worked!

God honored my simple act of obedience, and the tasty food made way for meaningful conversation. As a result, our lines of communication were restored and we grew closer. 🙂

I love that God used my obedience to mend our friendship and teach us both valuable lessons. My first step in the right direction helped my friend take her own steps of obedience. Then, we each gained more opportunities to serve others and trust God.

I don’t know where you are in your relationship with God, but I know He is calling you to be obedient today. If you aren’t sure what that means, go back to the last time you remember a specific direction from God. It may be a specific Bible verse that spoke to you, a gut feeling, or simply seeing someone in need.

It may not be convenient, but it’s always the best idea. God rewards obedience and will honor your efforts. He will help you follow-through! 

Simple examples may include: Putting aside your own feelings to serve someone else. Or, taking a big step forward even if you’re afraid. Or, letting someone else take the lead on a project, even if you don’t fully agree.

Needless to say, always look for ways to be kind, gracious, and forgiving toward others. You don’t have to figure it all out. Just take the first step!

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God, thanks for being so patient with us. Thanks for Your grace, kindness, and forgiveness. Help us listen to you and obey Your word. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is God asking you to do? Are you doing it? Why or why not?

Tasks: Read this throwback post, one of my first posts from 2015:  Put on Your Pants!

 

Posted on in Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

From Grace to Grace

Lately, I have been talking to my friends about the significance of our personal stories. It is a theme that keeps coming up for me, partially because I have found it so helpful and encouraging. Plus, I enjoy hearing how God has worked in other peoples’ lives.

It can be healing to share our hearts, though, at the same time, we should be discerning. Some people won’t understand or appreciate all we have been through. Be wise!

As we discuss our failures, we can give God credit and glory for all He has done. He has brought us through each trial We have Victory, in Jesus’ Name!

Sometimes, it is easy to see what we should have done differently. But certain events are more difficult to process until much later. With all we learn through making mistakes, those lessons can be a lifeline or trail for others.

But, maybe you’re still in the middle of a current struggle. Maybe you can’t see how it all ends right now. Don’t give up.

God is putting together something beautiful, but like any masterpiece, it is going to take some time. Hold on…to Him!

God’s favor surrounds us like a shield. He protects His children as we walk close to HIm. As long as we keep moving forward with Him, we will make it.

Someday, your story will all make sense. That doesn’t mean it’s easy though.

Each trial is like a stepping stone. As we leap from one to another, God gives us His grace and strength.

Even if we can’t see the next step, there are a few things we can do.

First, we can trust that there is a stone to step on. God Himself is our Rock. Strong and dependable, He’s more than able to handle anything that comes our way.

Second, we can make the choice to follow God’s leading. He never pressures us to make the leap, but He promises His presence and power. His love never fails!

Third, we can look back with gratitude and see God’s faithfulness thus far. Then, it is easier to see how all the ‘dots’ connect.

Fourth, we cand seek God’s grace and goodness as we go. If we expect challenges, we will find them. But if we look for goodness, we will find that too. So, without gratitude, we will only see the difficulties, not the beauty of God’s plan.

Grace is God’s unmerited, undeserved, unearned favor. It is all around us if we have eyes to see it. Let’s move from one grace to the next!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for all You do for us. You are so good! Help us trust you as we move forward. Help us make the leap by faith. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you comfortable telling the key points of your life story? What lessons can you share with others?

Tasks: Listen to the song, Rebel Heart, by Lauren Daigle.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Prayer

Finding Grace #185

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a full, but good, week!

The weather turned quite warm again, which was a nice change from last week. Still, I am ready for cool weather. That said, I am not quite ready for snow. I still need to finish outdoor chores, like getting my patio furniture inside!  I did notice my trees are starting to change color this week!

Work went well and was steadily busy. I felt helpful and productive! I also had orientation on Thursday and Friday, because, in August, I couldn’t make the timing work until Lydia was in school. It was long but worthwhile. I enjoyed learning more about the history and mission of the VA, and the many important services we provide.

Lydia had a good week and let it slip (twice!) that she is really enjoying the Y program, after all. I happily teased her about it because her original attitude was pretty negative. Thanks for your prayers! 

Tornado sirens went off last night after dinner. I was not concerned because I was tracking the thunderstorm and knew it wouldn’t last long. Lydia was a little scared, though, which gave us good reason to snuggle on the couch downstairs. We talked about big topics like “if I were to die, what would happen,” wills, guardianship, and life insurance. Along with grief and death, we are used to talking about the “what ifs” in our house. Lydia’s fear soon left as she realized God is in control and we are as prepared as we can be. It was really sweet to hear Lydia pour out her heart to Jesus and receive His peace.

Today, I caught up with another widowed, single mom friend over the phone. We connected years ago, and she encouraged me after Dave died. She had some questions for me today, and I was able to help her. It was fun to catch up!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

Pray and Prepare

It’s hurricane season and my parents live in Florida! 😮 Hurricane Dorian has come close to breaking records and has already had a major impact.

Recently, as my mom and I were talking, she mentioned the need to have about ten days of food and water on hand, just in case the storm shuts down her city and local resources.

My parents have spent the last week watching the weather forecasts, all while planning for several possible outcomes. Mom said, “We don’t quite know what to expect, so we pray and prepare.” Smart move.

Regarding Dorian’s trajectory, last week, meteorologists mentioned that all they had were educated guesses based on radar and data from previous hurricanes. “We won’t know where it will go or what will happen until it actually hits.”

We now know Dorian hit the Bahamas as a deadly Category 5 hurricane, and then started to weaken. Yet, the wind and rain could still do a lot of damage and bring flooding to several states along the Eastern coast.

We all face uncertainties and storms in life. A hurricane shows up on radar several days before it hits, but tornadoes can happen within a matter of minutes.

Sometimes, we have a long time to adjust to the inevitable, but often we are blindsided by grief and despair. Examples may include long-term terminal illness versus a sudden, accidental death. Both are tragedies.

In planning, it is best to pray AND prepare. Prayer is a priority because we invite God into our situation. He is our Creator and can do the impossible. He is the difference-maker.

God can weaken any storm or turn it away. We trust Him to protect us and provide for us.

At the same time, we would be foolish to ONLY pray. God has given us many resources to use, such as creative thinking, strong bodies, hands to work hard, and other people who offer practical support.

Often, by preparing and helping each other, the impact of life’s storms is minimized. We can build a stronger community when we all come together and help.

Even before disasters strike or hardships come, we can pray, asking for the Lord to intervene. Then, we can use our God-given resources to spread love and encouragement to those in need.

God’s grace shows up in the ‘sweet spot’ of prayer and preparation.

On Monday, I was struck by a hurricane headline that stated ‘Millions united in fear.’ What a misguided scare tactic! We have God Almighty on our side… Regardless of what happens, our Victory is in Jesus!

We do not need to fear when bad times come… Instead, we can live prayerfully and give generously knowing the Lord will provide for us and use us to bless others.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for your provision and protection. Help us to seek You and see the needs of those around us. Help us be a blessing to all we meet. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have a disaster plan for your home and family? Does everyone understand the plan? Do you regularly practice what to do in an emergency?

Tasks: If you don’t already have a disaster plan, create one! Do this out of wisdom, not fear. Think about all sorts of what-ifs, like fires, floods, tornadoes, and hurricanes. Keep a small store of water, canned foods, blankets, flashlights, and cash on hand.

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Wisdom

No Problem!

For a planner like me, interruptions to my schedule used to throw me off. If I had several tasks on my to-do list, but then someone needed something, it would stress me out. It’s not that I didn’t want to help or hang out, but my perfectionistic personality was easily overwhelmed as I (most likely) tried to figure everything out on my own.

If I spent time with people, I sacrificed getting anything else done. But if I focused on tasks, I felt like I was neglecting friendships. It was frustrating and I rarely felt like I was doing a good job at anything. I was stumped. 😉

Of course, people take priority. And, life is full of interruptions and distractions (some good and some not so good). Thankfully, God took my gnarled mess and helped me adjust.

To start, parenthood, cancer, and grief, all provided dramatic circumstances for God to transform me. With His refining, the hidden blessing is I now have balance.

When people request my time, I see it as God’s gentle reminder to take a break and have fun… or serve others with my whole heart. When I do have more time to myself, I feel free to work on projects and tasks without guilt. I have learned both work and rest are good.

Now, I can usually just roll with it, knowing God will help me accomplish everything I’m supposed to do. After all, He knows exactly where and how I need to spend my life.

Lately, I have been thinking about how God orchestrates our lives in perfect timing. Similarly, our struggles can be perfect opportunities for God to show up. From ancient times, we see He has a certain dramatic flair and enjoys displaying His power and might!

Creation started with His words, “Let there be light,” as if He was setting the stage. Then, He created a vast universe, which we still have not fully discovered. Wow!

In the Bible, we see lots of other dramatic interventions where God steps in to save the day. He rolled back the Red Sea to save the Israelites out of Egypt. He helped David defeat Goliath with five smooth stones. He protected Daniel in the lions’ den. He walked with the three men in a fiery furnace; they came out unsinged and didn’t even smell like smoke!

God even forewarned King Nebuchadnezzar and then made a fool of him by making him act like a mad cow, eating grass on his hands and knees for seven years until he repented of his prideful ways. Can you imagine?!

Jesus was born of a virgin, made wine from water, calmed a storm, walked on water, and paid His taxes with a coin from the mouth of a fish. He healed many people, raised the dead, and performed other miracles. He also died on the Cross to pay for our sins (with a dramatic earthquake and tearing of the holy veil from top to bottom). Boom.

Then, God’s power raised Jesus from the dead precisely when He said it would happen (cue another earthquake rolling away the tomb!). Later, the Holy Spirit enabled uneducated outcasts to perform miracles and turn the world upside down as they spread the gospel message. Whoa!

I guess you could say God loves a good story!

Seriously, God can do far more than we can ask or imagine! And, if you let Him fight for you, it’s likely He will come through for you in creative ways you would have never guessed possible. Just wait on Him!

Whatever challenges you are facing, bring them to Jesus. Sickness, debt, sadness, anger, frustration, fear, confusion, disappointment, bitterness, resentment… big or small it all matters to God. He knows how to handle it.

Example: Recently, one friend had her (rather large) bill from surgery forgiven, while another friend received back pay from an old job she had forgotten about, and still another friend got a new job with more pay. It was cool to see how God creatively provided for each of them according to their unique needs!

Nothing is too big or impossible for Him! It’s no problem!

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Ah, Lord God! Nothing is too difficult for You! Your plans for us are good! Help us trust You as we wait for You act. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What challenges are you facing right now? How can you trust God more? Are you willing to let Him move on your behalf?

Task: Make a list of all your previous challenges and then mark down how God was faithful. Watch for His creativity and look for hidden blessings.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fruit, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Personality, Wisdom, Words

In Defense

“Maybe we should stop disliking people for what we have heard and be grateful God does not dislike us for what He knows.” –TobyMac

That quote reminds me of the impact of our words. Recently, someone was talking negatively about a friend of mine and put me in an awkward position. Yes, my friend certainly has faults, but I still enjoy their company.

I couldn’t discern if the person talking to me was jealous of my friend or actually had valid information. Either way, I heard an earful of unwanted gossip and was caught off guard.

While I tried to defend my friend, I don’t think I did an adequate job. Now that I’ve collected my thoughts, I’ll be sure to speak up next time. In the meanwhile, here’s what I should have said to the other person, but didn’t.

I don’t know about all that, but I really appreciate my friend! They have been good to me. They have selflessly helped me in countless ways over the years, often putting their own tasks on hold. I have learned so much from them, just as they have learned from me.

We have prayed for each other, and we have seen each other grow in Christ. Yes, perhaps they still have things to work on, but I’m grateful for how far they’ve come.

Furthermore, I want to see the good in people and hope they do the same for me. God knows I have faults too. But, because of Jesus, we have received mercy, grace, and forgiveness. We should extend the same toward others.

Similarly, let’s offer the benefit of the doubt. We weren’t there, so we don’t know the full story. Even if we were there, we wouldn’t necessarily know why things happened.

That doesn’t mean we ignore bad behavior, make excuses, or skip accountability. Yes, restitution is important, but there are many complex factors involved. It’s not always an easy, black-and-white answer.

Instead, when I sense an issue needs to be addressed, I ask my friend for their input and perspective. We don’t always agree, but we trust each other. We don’t make assumptions; we try to understand each other’s heart and intentions.

Remember, each person has God-given potential and a unique purpose. If we define someone by all their faults and failures, it’s likely they’ll never rise above them and fulfill God’s plan for their life.

They won’t come higher unless we raise our expectations of them. Let’s challenge them and encourage them along the way. Let’s agree with God and call out the good we see.

Let’s focus on everyone’s strengths, and cover their weaknesses with love. Let’s pray for people and mentor them, when possible. Not everyone is our responsibility to reach, but we can still set a godly example and point people to Jesus.

We need to be very careful not to ruin someone’s reputation with hearsay. So, let’s walk in a worthy manner and be wise in our interactions with everyone. We never know what they may glean from us… positive or negative influences that shape who they become.

We cannot change anyone, but we can extend grace toward everyone so they see Jesus and come to Him. Watching our words is difficult at times. But with Jesus, nothing is impossible.

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God, thanks for Your great mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Please help us continue to grow and get along with each other. Give us the unity of heart and purpose. Strengthen our relationships with each other so we can bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you deal with gossip? What else should I have said?

Tasks: Before you talk about someone, check your own heart. Memorize Ephesians 4:29, which says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)