Small, But Significant

I am reading through the Chronological Bible again this year, and so I find myself in the book of Job. Even though it is full of suffering, it is also quite rich when we see it tied to purpose and perspective!

In short, Job was a wealthy and generous man who lost everything in a matter of hours. His sons, daughters, servants, and most of his property were gone. Soon, his health was attacked, too. How miserable!

It seems Job felt vulnerable and misunderstood, and it probably felt like God had forgotten him. I know how that feels, and maybe you do, too!

To make matters worse, Job had no support! His wife said he should curse God and die. Even his friends were awful, though perhaps they had a few good things to say. Yet, mostly they chided Job, thinking he must’ve brought all his tragedy on himself (that God was punishing him). With friends like Job’s, who needs enemies?!

Aurora Borealis, Northern Lights, Aurora, Northern

Now, we could spend our time comparing stories of how certain parts of our lives remind us of Job. But, to be honest, most of us haven’t suffered so many losses in such a short time. Though, it sure feels that way sometimes!

Either way, I don’t want to minimize our collective sorrow, and there is no contest here. Instead of one-upping each other with grief stories, let’s love one another.

As a reminder, there are many kinds of loss, including finances, divorce, death, unfulfilled expectations or dreams, and more. Each is difficult, and we all need Jesus.

Thankfully, our suffering is not for nothing. There is usually so much more going on behind the scenes. Still, God will use our pain for a new purpose. We can trust Him, and He won’t let us down.

Aurora, Polar Lights, Northern Lights, Aurora Borealis

Here are a few takeaways from Job so far: Despite all the calamity, pain, and doubts, Job kept working out his faith. Thus, he also had hope. He said, “I know my redeemer lives…”

Job lived around the time of Genesis. So even before salvation was here (Jesus Christ), He trusted God even when he could not see.

God Himself said Job was blameless and upright; there was no one like him. But still, he suffered major losses.

As Job later found out, he and everything he knew was quite small compared to God’s majesty and wisdom! Indeed, I love the end of Job when it’s God’s turn to defend Himself.

I find myself smiling at God’s questions to Job about creation and the natural world. An example, in my paraphrase: Have you seen the ostrich I made? She’s a terrible mom and kind of spacey… but wow, she’s a great runner! 😉 See the actual verses in context here!

Yet, through His discourse, God reminds Job (and us) that He has everything under control. In fact, the book of Job is less about his suffering and more about God’s character.

When suffering occurs, it is easy to focus on our problem and forget that God is greater and above it all. But in Job, we see though we are small, we are significant to God.

Whatever you are going through today, remember you are not alone. It may be the fight of your life, but God sees you. God hears you. He is with you and for you. Let Him comfort and carry you today.

**********

God, amid sorrow and suffering, draw me close. When I can’t bear the burden, help me bring it to You. Be my strength and comfort and peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When you think of all the losses you have faced, can You see how God carried you through? How does that knowledge help you in your current circumstances?

Task: Listen to this song, but Nicole C. Mullen. It’s a classic!

Never Stop Learning

Sometimes there are those moments where you realize, “God’s not done with me yet.” Perhaps you survived a life-threatening event, or perhaps it’s just that you have more to learn. I’m sure there are many instances in between these two examples!!

In my case, lately, I have been learning more about all sorts of topics. These include health, nutrition, cooking, and also God’s Word, the Bible. I have even been playing around with calligraphy, painting and photography, too… nothing to show, just learning more about them!

I have also seen little reminders that I need to be vigilant against fear. If you have read my book, you’ll know I handle this much better now. Nonetheless, fear is subtle and I have to constantly be on guard and ready to defeat lies with the Truth.

No worries! Choosing faith over fear is just part of the life to which God is calling us.

Math, Blackboard, Education, Classroom, Chalkboard

Case in point: Have you ever felt like a challenge you are facing is a “perfect storm” situation? Like the situation evolved so “only you” can make a difference, or the battle is yours to lose? Like the situation was designed according to your fears or the problems you face?

I understand, and I am thankful that God Himself helps us carry the burden. But maybe you could think about it this way: Perhaps the problem is tailored to your strengths, to show what you know, so you can become more of who God made you to be.

And, if God is for us, who can be against us (Romans 8:31)? Failure isn’t really final if we acquire knowledge and skill. So hang in there!

It seems God lets us walk through trials so He can test us. He sees our gut reactions and if we are relying on Him or ourselves. He “proves” our heart to see if it is still tender and obedient, malleable to His will.

Yes, God uses these challenges to stretch us and prepare us for greater things. And, you know what? He walks through them with us.

I believe we can learn from anyone in any circumstance, what to do or not to do. I often learn from Lydia! One day, she came to me and said, “Mom, did you know the word ‘realize’ is like ‘real eyes’? I loved that she came up with that fitting way of explaining it!

My interpretation of Lydia’s insight is this: When we see our circumstances through our real eyes, that is God’s perspective and Truth, we will realize just how much He loves us and cares for us. He’s not done with us yet!

Our Heavenly Father is our Teacher, Protector, and Provider. He is infinite so there is always something to learn! Every day, we have new opportunities to go deeper with Jesus!

**********

God, thanks for Your patience in teaching me. Help me rely on You in every circumstance. Help me grow and learn so I am not found lacking. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is God teaching you right now? What are you doing about that?

Task: Listen to the song, “God’s Not Done with You,” by Tauren Wells. Everyone learns at different paces, so what seems basic to you might seem life-changing for someone else. Maybe that you are struggling with someone else sailed through. Let’s bring encouragement and support!

Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward Book!!

Surprise!! It’s finally time for my big announcement, and I am so excited!

My book, Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward, is available for purchase! The book captures a two-year period of dealing with (my late husband) Dave’s cancer and my subsequent grief. At times, I didn’t know how I would make it.

During a time filled with chemo and chaos, I nearly walked away from my faith. But, God proved Himself over and over again. Despite my doubts, He came through for us!

Yes, it is a sad story at times, but I wanted to chronicle what happened for Lydia and inspire others. We all go through rough times on this side of Heaven, and it helps knowing someone understands. All hope is not lost!

Currently, your best way to buy Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward is to order through Barnes and Noble. I spent countless hours at our local B&N bookstore writing and editing with my laptop and a cup of coffee. So, it feels incredible to see my book online!

Announcing my book TODAY is significant for several reasons.

First, Lydia’s tenth birthday is coming up, and I wanted to beat that milestone. So much happened in the first two-and-a-half years of her life, and it just seems right to keep this project contained to her first decade. That way, we can officially close that chapter and keep moving forward.

Second, we are in the beginning stages of the holidays, and I want my book to be available before all the craziness starts. For some, it may be just what they need. That said, if a friend of yours is dealing with cancer, grief, or some other trauma, perhaps get your copy first and then consider how it may affect them. The book could certainly be helpful for your friend, but I would never want to add to their emotional turmoil. In that case, maybe filter out a few nuggets of truth for them until the timing is better.

My third reason is a little more personal. Today marks twenty-five years since my dear friend, Seth, died in an accident. (Part of me feels like it was just yesterday; it doesn’t seem I should be old enough to account for twenty-five years!) So, when I saw November 17th is today, a Wednesday, it felt like God’s timing. The book does not entail Seth’s tragedy, yet in my story, I mention how that loss helped me process Dave’s death. So, in my mind, they are somewhat connected.

The fourth reason is simply that there’s no time like the present. This project was complex and took me a while to finish. I had much to learn about writing and publishing a book. Grief and being a single mom were factors, not to mention work, household duties, and various levels of motivation. But, in the end, perfect conditions don’t exist. Something always comes up, and I am just going for it!

Finally, my fifth reason is that I need to continually challenge myself! It’s risky to put myself out there, but I don’t have to be afraid. I am covered with God’s grace. He goes ahead of me and He’s right beside me simultaneously. By faith, I need to release my book and step out of the way, so He can do what He does best.

In honor of my book launch, I created a new blog PAGE! I loaded it with some key details you might want to know before ordering.

Well, that’s it. I appreciate all your ongoing support, encouragement, and prayers!

**********

God, thanks for all the ways You have brought me through. You are so good and faithful. Would You please use my story to help others see You at work in theirs? May this book bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Any guesses on when I started writing my book?! Will you order the black and white version or the deluxe color version?

Tasks: Grab your copy of Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward today! Read more details here. I’d love for you to tag me on Facebook @GraceandLemonade or on Instagram @natalator with a picture of you and my book. Also, please share this post on social media. Goal: Tell at least 15 of your friends! 😉

Notice the Joy

It’s funny how seasons come and seasons go. Sometimes it seems nothing changes; but sometimes, it seems everything has changed! Often, we just take things for granted and we don’t see anything new. We fail to notice the joy that comes with those new seasons. But, God is always at work, and I believe He is always doing something new in our lives.

Over the last few months and even over just a few short weeks, I have noticed some new things in my life. Most of them are subtle, as new habits are forming. It is good to let go of what is not serving us well anymore. One small change can lead to the next!

Architecture, Skyscraper, Urban, City, Construction

First, my hair has grown a few inches, mostly because I just hadn’t taken time to get it cut. I was busy with work and school and so many other things! But after it grew past the awkward stages, I realized I enjoyed it. I still like it short and have recently gotten a trim, but now I can put it up in a longer ponytail which can be very helpful at times!

Indeed, my morning routine is a little quicker now because I don’t have to help my hair to go under! It takes less work, and I have a few extra minutes in the morning to work on little tasks around the house. A win-win as I embrace the natural outward flip at this length!

Oddly enough, my hair makes me look different in the mirror, but I have seen even more changes internally. Growing out my hair has given me a new perspective on who I am and what I like. It has made me rethink other changes I could make. Being open-minded has helped me see potential in other areas, too!

I am all about creating solid, sustainable habits, but change can be difficult for many of us. Yet, what if we just ease into something new or just try it for a week without a major commitment? What if we challenge ourselves to think differently and trust God for something greater?

Nothing is impossible for God, but often it seems we are holding something back. It could be related to fear, laziness, or just lack of enthusiasm. But remember, the first step is the hardest, and tiny steps in the right direction are still considered movement. Use joy as a motivator because there are built-in rewards that keep us moving forward.

So, another recent change is this: I have changed my morning commute. I was taking the highway, which may be slightly faster but is also more stressful at that hour. First, the morning sun shines in my eyes for several minutes. Second, I find myself subconsciously trying to beat other cars on the road. 🙂

It doesn’t necessarily involve speeding… But, if someone pulls in front of me or is going slower than I like, it irks me. Then, I am trying to get ahold of my attitude before walking into work. It is a small thing, but still a stressor I don’t need or want. So now, I take a parallel journey through town and look forward to the drive.

It has more stoplights, but there is less traffic and we naturally have to go slower. If I leave early enough, I hit mostly green lights, which really boosts my mood! The sun is not in my face as much, but I can still enjoy the fall colors and beautiful sunrises. In fact, I have found more joy in this new route because I feel calmer and can focus.

Yesterday morning, the sunrise was bright orange and purple!

Additionally, I have been parking in the overflow area across the street from work. That way, I always have a spot and don’t have to waste time circling around the usual lot. I also save time getting on the road after work because there are only a few cars leaving at any one time (instead of 50+ cars inching along in the other parking lot). Ironically, the highway is the faster, less stressful route on the way home. And, I have been picking up Lydia five minutes earlier, which feels great!

It does help that I have also switched to a backpack instead of a purse and a lunch box for work. I can walk a little more freely and the weight is carried over by my back rather than my arms and shoulders. Keeping everything in the backpack has also helped to relieve the stress of forgetting something because I can keep things in one place!

After this change, I have incorporated other ideas such as drinking tea at night. I am usually a ‘plain jane’ with tea. I don’t like a lot of flavored options or sweeteners, so lately, just decaf green tea or decaf black tea is fine with me. The joy comes through the process of making and drinking the tea. It is more ritualistic than coffee, which is my daily habit. Another bonus has been that if I am enjoying the tea, I don’t feel the need to have a late-night snack! So, my gut feels better too.

Drinking more tea has led to other changes, too. I have several great pieces of equipment that get regular use, but from one week to the next, I don’t always rotate through them all. In the last few weeks, I have been incorporating different activities into my exercise routine. This has helped me recover faster and avoid burnout while making my goals more achievable.

There are other habit changes I have made, but it’s fun to think they all started with NOT getting a haircut… Perhaps you have made small changes due to COVID or some other circumstances. Don’t give up if you don’t see progress right away! See all that can happen in just a few short months, and let that joy bring creativity and renewed purpose!

**********

Father God, thanks for helping me take small steps and celebrate small wins. Help me be obedient to all You are asking me to do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is one small lifestyle change you can make this week? Does it scare you or do you feel confident?

Tasks: God gives us His power, as we change and become more like Jesus. If there is an area you are struggling in, ask Him to show you one small thing you can do differently. Then, watch it snowball and gain traction as you celebrate other wins! Check out this worship song: “New Thing” by Hillsong Young & Free

Hiccups, Pineapple, and Fear

When I picked up Lydia from daycare on Monday, she had hiccups.

After a couple of moments of listening to her, I told her how I usually get rid of them. I take a deep breath and hold it. Then, I swallow without letting go of the air. Somehow, this resets my diaphragm muscle, which helps my lungs spontaneously fill up and expel the air.

I’m happy to report that Lydia tried my method with success!

Lydia then told me how her friend stops hiccuping. She said that when you have hiccups, thinking of pineapples will make them go away!

I asked Lydia what she meant, and she started yelling: “Pineapples are fruit! Pineapples are yellow! Pineapples are spiky! Pineapples are sweet!”

Go ahead and try it, if you want. Report back if it works! 😉

I laughed and said, “You can do the same thing with fear! You can yell, ‘I won’t be afraid! Jesus loves me! I will not fear!'” Then, I told her how we can speak God’s Word over our fears. By doing so, we exchange fear for faith.

Below, I put a simple list of Bible verses that we can apply to our fears.

Psalm 23:4 (ESV) says,Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Psalm 27:1 (ESV) says, “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

Isaiah 41:10 (ESV) says,fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV) says, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

1 Peter 3:14 (NLT) says, “But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats.”

1 John 4:18 (NIV) says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Life is full of hiccups, yet we don’t have to be afraid. Sometimes, life is sweet like a pineapple. But even when life gets tough, we can reset and trust God! Breathe in His Word and exhale His strength. 

**********

God, thanks for always taking such good care of me. You are such a good provider. Thank You that I don’t have to be afraid! Help me trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: How do you get rid of the hiccups?

Task: Print out these verses and keep them accessible for the next time you are afraid!

Bring the Light

Recently, one of the ‘can lights’ in my basement went out. No big deal, I just went to the store for a new one. Turns out, it was a little more involved than that!

This was one of four lights, the only four I hadn’t already switched over to LEDs. That’s because they were the only ones that hadn’t gone out in the eleven years I have lived here!

So, I soon realized a lot has changed! At first, I couldn’t find the right size, color, and wattage equivalent. I finally found someone to answer my questions. Still, they didn’t have exactly what I was looking for.

I wanted LEDs that were the 65-watt incandescent equivalent and could only find the 75-watt equivalent LED bulbs. I ended up buying four of them in case I decided to replace the other three, which still worked. Though, I didn’t want to toss three good lights unnecessarily.

As soon as I changed the first bulb, I was shocked. It was so bright! The rest of the room looked dim and hazy, almost like smoke. Had it always been that way and I just now realized it?

It took me a while to decide what to do. In the end, I couldn’t just leave the new light all alone, so I changed the rest, too. It’s been a few weeks, and I am finally getting used to the new lights. I think during the long winter nights, the lights will be extra appreciated!

Jesus is the Light of the World. He shines so bright and banishes all the darkness. When He is in our lives, He clears out all the hidden spaces in our hearts, too.

We have the opportunity to share the Light and Love of Jesus with people every day. What’s holding you back? Is it the fear of standing out? Is it the awkwardness of transition?

There is a common message which says, “Be the light.” We can’t really do that, however, because we are not Jesus. 🙂 But, we can bring the Light everywhere we go!

If we allow Jesus to do all He wants to do in our lives, there’s no way people can miss Him. As a friend once said to me, “We can see your light shining all the way in Illinois!”

This week, Lydia’s class discussed ways to help a friend in need. (No one specific, but just general brainstorming ideas.) Their answers ranged from making donations or other providing resources, volunteering to help with tasks, and respecting the friend. Other ideas could include smiling, praying, bringing a hot meal, writing an encouraging note, sitting with someone when they are down, or just listening without judgment.

This world can be dark at times, especially now. Let’s move past our own discomfort and share Jesus! It doesn’t take much!

**********

Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus! May we be a conduit of His light, love, and grace. Not just with words, but with actions, too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How can I pray for you today? Do you

Tasks: Check out the resources at Struggle Care, which is run by KC Davis, a licensed professional therapist. A friend of mine mentioned the website helped her, and it has shed some light in my life, too. Namely, taking some of the pressure off of my to-do list. 

Love One Another

“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.” — 1 Peter 3:8, NIV

Recently, Lydia and I were talking about growth. She pointed out how she can’t ever tell how much she is growing until she wakes up and her pants are too short. Or, when she hugs me and she suddenly is above my shoulder. True story…she’s getting taller day by day!

My dear sister-in-law, Stephanie, is a new mom. I really enjoyed meeting my sweet little niece in July. Now, of course, Steph has been up all throughout the night. So, she’s had some extra quiet time to think… and I can already see growth! Steph posted something profound to her own social media account, and I asked her if I could share with you.

Here’s what she wrote:

“Having a baby has no doubt been rough, as anyone can imagine, but it has also been rich in lessons. When babies fuss and cry, we understand that it’s because they’re tired or hungry or in pain. Sometimes they’re just fussy. We don’t judge them. We don’t shut them out. We sympathize with them and try to soothe them.

As we grow older, we get so lost in our own world that we may be too quick to judge others when they are less than joyful. When we’re hungry, tired, not feeling well, or in pain, we’re irritable. We then tend to shut them out instead of understanding where they may be coming from. We should work on our understanding and patience and even celebrate successes, no matter how small or trivial or delayed they may seem in comparison. Let’s work on loving one another, taking care of one another and supporting one another.”

Thank you, Steph! We go to great lengths to protect and prepare our children for life. Indeed, parenting is a refining process. I am proud of you and all you have already learned. These days are tough, but they will get better soon.

 I really appreciated those wise words, especially in light of the last few days, weeks, months, and year. I hope all is well in your life, but chances are, there are some parts that need Jesus’ help and healing.

It’s okay to disagree with someone, but can we please treat them with compassion and understanding? Can we show even a measure of the grace and mercy we need, too?

There are many hurting people right now, considering COVID-19 (and all the competing viewpoints and losses), the earthquake in Haiti (plus tropical storms), wildfires, and the complete Taliban takeover in Afghanistan.

Amid death, destruction, and loss, people may feel frustrated, afraid, sad, helpless, grief or distressed. In some situations, it is common to feel angry or betrayed. There is likely to be an increase in mental health symptoms like PTSD, depression… and even avoidance. There are many questions, and to start, I have seen mixed reactions with the Veterans I serve.

Regardless of what you think (or think you know), can you put that aside for a moment and put yourself in someone else’s shoes? Can you imagine how they may feel? Each of these situations is beyond a simple solution. But, the next generation is watching how we handle these circumstances. You can make a difference now and in the future.

It might require some painful stretching and growth, but your attitude, prayers, words, and actions speak volumes. This may include donating some money or resources, or calling a friend or neighbor to check on them. This also may include keeping your mouth shut and honoring someone else’s preference. Be kind and considerate. Love one another.

Let’s demonstrate the love of Jesus to a world in need. He is our only Hope!

**********

God, thanks for being our hope and anchor when chaos comes. We know You are sovereign, but still, many people are hurting. Please bring Your peace and give us steadfast hearts. Lead us and help us grow. Help us love one another. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How are you doing this week? How can I pray for you and lift you up?

Tasks: Take a moment right now and pray. Lift up our world in prayer: Afghanistan. Haiti. Pandemic crisis. Wild fires. First responders, legislators, armed forces, missionaries, men, women, children, family, friends, neighbors, coworkers. (If you feel led to help, consider donating money to your local church or Convoy of Hope, a reputable relief organization.)

It’s Gonna Be Okay

The week after the Spring time change (DST) is always a little rough. I didn’t feel it was off to too bad of a start, until I stayed up late two nights in a row working on a project and completely lost track of time! Thankfully, I felt fine, but I was moving slooow. Whoops!

Then, yesterday morning, Lydia slept in through her alarm! We each have our morning rhythms, which is more apparent when the timing gets off. Thankfully, I have built in extra time in Lydia’s schedule, so she wasn’t really too far behind like I was.

When our morning routine gets off, I have learned to roll with it. These are the days where I don’t do the extras. That means I skip the lathering shower pouf, use the lotion that takes less time to soak in, and don’t try anything new (think makeup and hair products)!

On those days, I don’t skip breakfast, but I may grab something portable or forgo the milk in my coffee. One reason I have trained myself to drink it black… sometimes, it’s necessary!

Yes, there are days when it seems everything is just “off” or something dramatic happens. This song, Into the Sea, by Tasha Layton, references Psalm 46:1-3, which says:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”

I have been singing and humming about mountains falling into the sea all week, but yesterday, it made me think. What does it mean by ‘mountains falling into the sea?’

We don’t have mountains in Fargo, which is pretty flat. But, I have seen avalanches and glaciers calving online! And, practically speaking, this is a great picture of everything literally falling apart.

When the ground starts giving way beneath us, God is there to catch us!

Another line that stands out in that song is, “Only good things come from You.” I am reminded that chaos is not directly from God, but He will turn it into something good.

Because He is good… that is, goodness is a part of His nature… He can’t help but use my circumstances for His glory and my good. Of course, this isn’t just to make sure I get to work on time. But, rather that I stay in tune to His timing and follow His lead.

With Jesus on our side, it will always turn out well for us. That doesn’t mean we won’t have challenges, but He is with us and for us! With confidence, we can trust Him and say, “It’s gonna be okay!”

**********

God, You are good! You sustain me when life is uncertain. Thanks for being my safe place. Thanks for staying close. Be my strength and hold me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions:  On those crazy-busy mornings, would you rather be late and do everything well? Or, do you have a back-up plan to save time?

Tasks: Crank up the sound and listen to the song, Into the Sea, linked above in pink. Then, listen to this song, “Safe Here,” by the same artist! Sooo good!

Bring Your Tough Questions to Jesus

Yesterday, I watched a Bible Project video about “emet,” that is, God’s faithfulness and trustworthiness. I love these videos! Interestingly, the next video in the series says that Exodus 34:6-7 is the most repeated and re-quoted text by Biblical authors. Wow!!

I also heard a teacher from Read through the Word say, “If you can’t quite see God’s faithfulness in your own life, look for His faithfulness in the lives of others… both in the Bible and people you know.”

So, naturally, God’s faithfulness is on my mind this week! That said, it can sometimes be difficult to see faithfulness when you are in the midst of trials or emotional upheaval. But keep looking… It’s there!

Also, earlier this week, I was texting with two different ladies at the same time. One is very close to me and the other I have never met (a friend of a friend). They are both going through the early stages of severe grief, though their losses are different. Neither felt up to talking on the phone, so texting was their preferred option.

I wish I could take away the pain these ladies are feeling, but I cannot. It will take a fair amount of time and effort to process their intense grief. I’m available to help and listen, but I cannot heal their hearts on my own. However, I can point them toward God’s faithfulness. If they draw close to Him, He will be there strength and everything they need.

After my late-husband, Dave, died in 2013, I certainly had a lot of questions with few answers. I chose not to be mad at God, but still I wondered what our relationship was supposed to look like. I was understandably confused and disappointed.

Back then, another friend simply encouraged me to keep bringing those questions to God Himself. She validated my feelings and challenged me to not give up. Her words resonated with me as she reminded me that God could handle all my emotions. All I had to do was keep coming to Him. It was a breath of fresh air!

My daughter, Lydia, is quite resilient, but even so, she does tend to go through periods of mourning for her dad. Her grief is different than mine, and I cannot always shield her from pain and loss. Though, I can to create a safe space to discuss what’s on her heart.

Recently, Lydia showed me a paper from church where the children were asked to write down questions they would ask God. I don’t know what the lesson was about, but on the top of her list was this question: How is my dad doing?

While I hate that she has to bear such loss, I am glad she feels good about asking God tough questions. (She also asked what God’s favorite color and food were, so I don’t think she was too upset on that day.)

Bottom line: Our doubts and fears can yield a deeper faith as long as we bring all of those questions to Jesus, instead of turning away and trying to cope on our own.

Whether we come to God in anger, confusion, sadness, disappointment—or even with joy and gratitude—we are changed in the presence of Jesus.

He can handle our deepest concerns because His grace knows no bounds. It may be slow progress, but eventually, we will be on level ground again.

Don’t give up when you don’t get the answers you want. Just keep asking and trusting. God will make everything right in due time.

I’m grateful He knows our hearts better than we do!

**********

God, thanks that we can bring all our tough questions directly to You. Thanks for Your unmatched grace and faithfulness. Please speak words of comfort and healing; Lord, give us Your peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you find yourself weeping with those who weep? Or are you trying to bring surface (quick and superficial) solutions to deep and lasting grief?

Tasks: If you don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving, perhaps don’t say anything. Instead, show up for them. Be available even just to sit and listen, or help with difficult task. Finally, listen to this song, “God Help Me,” by Plumb.

Jesus AND Science

NOTE: I know many people are on the fence about the coronavirus vaccine. I decided to gather some of my thoughts here, as best I could, to document and explain why I chose to receive the vaccine. If it helps you decide one way or the other, great! No pressure here. Each of us must make our own decisions. Thanks for reading!

A couple of days ago, on Monday afternoon, I received the Moderna COVID vaccine at work. By the time I stood in line for it, I was excited and totally at peace. I didn’t receive the injection on a whim or without purpose. I did my due diligence!

Like many people, I was originally hesitant when I first heard about these vaccines. Why inject something if it isn’t necessary? I started by praying about what to do.

Then, I read many articles online and filtered through just as much misinformation. I realized without the vaccines, even more unnecessary deaths will happen. In the process, I found some really good resources.

For instance, I have found deplatformdisease.com quite helpful. It takes scientific information and makes it accessible to the general public. It explains the disease process and other things, like what antibodies and antigens are, in simple terms.

I also appreciated learning more about Operation Warp Speed, a collaboration between the US Department of Health and Human Services and the US Department of Defense, among others. I am amazed at how everything came together for this all to be successful. To me, it’s God’s hand at work giving scientists the ability to create vaccines and work together. I don’t see vaccines as a threat, but rather a great blessing.

In particular, I loved learning what happened behind the scenes. The researchers were already working on a similar coronavirus vaccine and were able to transfer their energy and resources accordingly. Due to the magnitude of this illness and its crippling effect on society and the economy, those in charge were able to cut through bureaucratic barriers, too. Thankfully, increased funding helped focus their efforts on finding a solution sooner.

With an abundance of volunteers, the first COVID trial started in March! Normally, each trial would conclude with review and more research before the next one would start. But, this time, they did the review and extended research concurrently while planning for each of the next phases. Genius!

Instead of taking 70+ months, the vaccines took about fourteen months to complete and get approved (on an emergency basis). To the public it may seem rushed, but actually, it was not. No corners were cut in the vaccine trials. In fact, multiple vaccines (similar, yet distinct) and the huge number of people in the trials makes the numbers even more reliable.

I think of it like this: If I were to host a party, I would have to prepare by completing several different steps in order. I would think about the menu and who to invite. I would look for recipes and do a quick inventory of ingredients. Then, I would go to the store, purchase everything, go back home, unpack everything. Then, I would have to wash, chop, and cook, the ingredients, not to mention plate all the dishes, set the table, clean the house, and answer the door.

Now imagine if I already had several recipes in mind and already had the supplies on hand. Wouldn’t that speed up the planning process? And, if I asked for help, my guests could each bring a dish, leaving me to focus on other important details. So, perhaps I spent just as much effort on the overall party, but I found several ways to save time and got others to pitch in. No cutting corners, just using my resources wisely and efficiently!

It is heartwarming to see relief and tears of joy when those at highest risk get the vaccine. That said, the vaccine may not be for everyone. If people have severe allergies, they should weigh the pros and cons and discuss options with their healthcare provider. There may be other factors, as well. Each person should choose what works best for them.

For me, all of the information (and prayers) lead me to take a step of faith. I refuse to live in fear, so I let God lead me. I trust Him to protect me either way, but when He provided the opportunity through my job, I decided it was good timing.

A couple of months ago, my parents each contracted COVID despite taking all precautions. My dad had a moderate case, while my mom’s health turned more severe. It was quite scary when she could barely catch her breath on the phone!

During the recovery process, my mom told me, “Do whatever you can to avoid this.” I have not sought my mom’s opinions about the COVID vaccines, but her advice rang true.

All this time, I have been going to work and sending Lydia to daycare. I’m so grateful for that stability, but we do have increased risks of getting sick. As a mom, I was happy to take the vaccine and minimize my chances of bringing home COVID to Lydia.

Sure, if we were to get sick, we’d probably be fine. But, there are no guarantees.

At the end of the day, we each have a decision to make. It’s not just “vaccine or no vaccine,” but how shall we live and move forward?

Our decisions continue to affect others, so it makes sense to lovingly protect as many people as we can. Wash your hands, wear a mask, keep social distancing, etc. It has been a difficult year, and while there is still work to do, these vaccines feel like light at the end of the tunnel. My sore arm feels worth it!

As we step into this new year, I’m praising God for giving us humans the ability to reason, understand the world He made, and create timely solutions to complex problems!

Yes, we can celebrate both Jesus AND science!

**********

God, thanks for providing for me and and keeping me safe. Help me to be wise and considerate toward others. Give me confidence to go against the grain when needed! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you enjoy reading about trending topics in science or do you avoid them altogether? Have you researched the pros and cons for your current health choices?

Tasks: Review some of the pink links in the post above. Discuss options with your healthcare provider. Don’t forget to pray about next steps ahead of time, so you are prepared to make the best decision for yourself and your family if/when the time comes. God bless you and keep you safe!