On a recent Saturday, I was working on my laptop. I was focused on a big project and didn’t want to be interrupted. There was a deadline involved, and I was crunched for time.
I asked Lydia to read a book or find something quiet to do. Instead, she asked me if we could do a science project, using a kit she received for Christmas. She wanted to make bath bombs. It was more than I wanted to do, and I tried to redirect her.
Maybe she could color or read or do a puzzle…
A few minutes later, I heard Lydia rummaging around in the kitchen. She was only about ten feet away from me, and I sat with my back to her.
As I heard a cookie tray clanging in the cupboard, I walked over to check on her. In the past, I’ve let Lydia use a tray to contain everything from LEGO projects, marbles, beads, and more. But that day, Miss Independent had started making her own bath bombs!
In my best mom voice I said, “Lydia, I didn’t tell you that you could make bath bombs!”
With no delay in her response, Lydia replied, “Well, you didn’t tell me I couldn’t!”
True… but I thought it had been implied.
Nonetheless, Lydia was actually doing a good job reading the directions and putting the ingredients together. She had made a small mess but was trying her best to be clean.
So, in this one case, I let her continue.
On the one hand, I admire how Lydia jumps in to try new things. However, that day, I explained that I was not pleased she took matters in her own hands. I reinforced my role and set up some consequences.
As I coached her, it made me think of the times I do that too. I often ask God for help or for something specific, but how often do I then try to complete it on my own?
Sure, when it all falls apart, I’ll ask for help cleaning it up. But Jesus is not my fix-it guy.
Lydia loves to prove herself to me. As soon as she learns a skill, she thinks she is good-to-go in that area. She doesn’t realize there are different levels of learning before mastery.
She feels confident with any art project, especially if it uses paint, markers, scissors, tape, and/or glue. đ She likes making simple meals. She also likes to “surprise” me by cleaning… sometimes without asking and usually on her own terms.
Lydia is not a defiant child. Generally, she tries to be helpful. A couple days ago, she even tried to take a bath all on her own and got upset when I said I was going to supervise. Safety first!
I’m grateful for a child who is so willing and able to do things on her own. But as a parent, I can see that we can accomplish so much more together when Lydia asks for help and listens. We can have more fun if she waits for me and follows my leading.
I’m also glad God’s love for me does not depend on my own merit. Thankfully, He loves me despite my messes and mistakes! Still, His boundaries are there for my protection.
This bath bomb experience was a good reminder for both of us!
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Heavenly Father, thanks for the lessons You teach me through parenting. Give me grace and wisdom each day. Give me strength to be both firm and loving. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Have you done any fun science experiments lately? Have you tried to do life on your own terms? How did that work out?
Tasks: Check in with Jesus before starting your next big project. Invite Him to be involved. See what His plans are first… He only wants the best for you!