The Heart of the Matter

The week before she died, Lydia and I visited Mom and Dad in Florida. I’ll be forever grateful to the Lord for those four days together. One day, in a brief moment of reflection, Mom mentioned how each of her kids is like her in certain ways.

Her words felt somewhat like a blessing, so I committed them to memory: Mom looked at me and said, “Livi, is bold and strong, but kind. Patrick, he’s got my sense of humor. Now, Micah is the most like me. Not much gets in his way. But you, you have my heart.”

It is cool to see how my parents’ traits are spread across each of us. We all love learning and are uniquely creative. We all rise to the occasion and use our strengths to help people. Let me explain… I’m the second oldest, but I’ll write about myself last.

To start, the picture above is one of my favorites. It was taken right before Dave and I (right) moved to Fargo in 2010. We were so young, lol! Up top is Patrick, then Olivia, and Micah, next to me.

Olivia is the firstborn and a great leader. Livi always went before us and prepared the way. Even now, she can pull the ‘big sister’ card, and we all fall in line. She also didn’t balk too much when I tagged along. She has always been gracious and patient with me!

Coming in third, Patrick is so funny. He clearly has my mom’s quick wit and way with words. Pat is full of one-liners and movie quotes. Pat is super smart but humble. He can be serious and deep, but we all appreciate his lighthearted joy. 

My youngest brother, Micah, has the best mix of Mom’s fire and Dad’s drive. As a classic strong-willed child, he most certainly required the most discipline—perhaps more than the three of us older kids combined! Yet, this has served him well, as he is very responsible, playful, and a good friend. I love seeing how God has matured Micah over time.

I am perhaps Mom and Dad’s most compliant one on the surface. Cheerful, quiet, and patient, I’m go-with-the-flow… more cerebral, like Dad. However, internally, I can also be equally stubborn and “particular.” I want to do what is right and will stand on principle! As a child, I was fairly emotional, but I learned to hide my feelings at times. Somehow, I thought showing emotions was a weakness, and I did not fully realize the error until years later when God went to war against all my fears.

Through my grief journey, Mom was impressed by my resilience. Our weaknesses can become great strengths if we let God work in our lives. In my case, I dug deep and clung to Jesus as He remade me! During this time, He graciously showed Mom and me some problems in understanding each other. Our differences were getting the best of us.

God challenged us to get to the heart of the matter. Moving past our annoyances and personality quirks, we soon discovered that we shared the same passion for those in need! Our hearts were one regarding compassion and serving others. We might go about doing things differently, but we often arrived at the same conclusions! Isn’t God good?!

Mom was always quick to tell us how proud she was of us. In the same way, make sure you tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them. Spend time together and challenge each other to grow. Focus on the good, and don’t take your time for granted.

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Father God, thanks for all Your blessings. Thanks for challenging us and infusing our weaknesses with Your strength. Give us wisdom and courage as we share Your heart with the World. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you more like your mom or your dad… Or, are you a really good blend of their traits? How do you resolve conflicts with others who are different than you?

Tasks: Listen to this song. Thank God for His blessings and favor!

Finding Grace #471

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Red Finch Bird photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week. We zoomed on Sunday, and while we missed my mom’s cheerfulness, it was good to be “together.” Our family text chain is not the same without here either. We chat several times a week, giving updates, prayer requests, jokes, and pictures. But, it does bring us some comfort now, too.

Back in December, I filmed an update on my testimony for church. On Sunday, it aired during the service. I was grateful for the opportunity to do that again, and of course, it was a personal reminder of God’s goodness and the need to keep moving forward. I had several friends reach out after church, and all of them cheered me on.

The weather this week was sunny and reached the 60s (F). Overnight, however, the temperature dropped thirty degrees! The wind was so strong, I thought it would blow over the fence along my property line. I prayed because it had just been replaced (for the third time!). We had a few snow flurries here and there, but it melted quickly. Lydia and I saw a pair of housefinches on the deck and in one of our trees. I’m grateful for God’s goodness!

This week, I talked with two dear friends on the phone. One has known my parents for over fifty years, so knew us from before we were born. The other is the mom of my college BFF. She has always been such an encouragement to me. Both ladies are like family and it was wonderful to catch up! I’m grateful for all their prayers over the years, especially now.

Today, I caught up around the house. I did a little cooking, cleaning, and reorganizing. Lydia helped me for a bit and then hung out with another friend.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Defiant Joy

My mom loved a good party! With her magnetic personality, she usually became the social director wherever she went, lol. Like her mother, she enjoyed organizing anything from casual events to formal affairs. But mostly, she enjoyed having fun!

Mom spread joy through classy decor, delicious food, and laughter with her sense of humor. She bought colored tablecloths before they were even a thing. Her centerpieces might include candles, colored gems, marbles, balloons, and/or beautiful floral bouquets. She taught us to wrap up silverware and added a little flare with colored curling ribbon. Music typically set the mood, at least for home parties.

Mom knew how to elevate basic, everyday foods. She was known for her spaghetti sauce, beef stew, potato leek soup, barbecue, egg rolls, and chicken salad. Her infamous relish tray with celery, baby carrots, red grapes, sweet pickles, and olives was a standard we still replicate. She would even “doctor up” mundane foods with fresh ingredients, like fruits or vegetables—anything to add color, flavor, and nutrition.

Everyone was welcome at mom’s events. She wanted to include everyone because she saw their inherent God-given value. She had her own opinions and convictions, but she looked past differences to see the individual.

Mom was bold and generous toward others. She loved shopping for good deals, partly, so she could give away what she bought. She had a little stockpile of things at home and was always prepared with a gift. Mom often interacted with total strangers at the grocery store, gas station, airport, bank, etc. She would notice something special about them and mention it. She asked good questions and connected them with resources, if warranted. 

Mom loved a good outfit accessory. She loved jewelry, sunglasses, hats, scarves, and purses. But, she didn’t hold onto anything too tightly. She often gave away personal items as she felt led in the moment. For example, if you told her you liked her necklace or bracelet, chances were she might just give it to you.

For someone who just met her, it would be easy to assume my mom was only surface-level or light-hearted all the time. Nothing could be further from the truth. While Mom attracted people with her bubbly personality, she could go deep.

Free Cookie Cookies photo and picture

Mom’s personal motto was “Never a dull moment.” She faced many personal challenges, losses, and pain, but she learned to trust God’s goodness and provision through the messiness of life. She knew He would continue fighting for her, so she didn’t have to win every battle.

Instead, my mom used her energy and influence to point people to God. Mom knew joy is not based on circumstances, like happiness often is. Joy is based on knowing the contagious, steadfast love of Jesus. Indeed, He was the most joyful person ever!

This week, I came across a funny video of my mom. It was from her last birthday in October, and I loved hearing her joy and laughter. I imagine her experiencing Heaven the same way. Although I am grieving, I don’t want to miss the chance to celebrate God’s goodness. Indeed, I don’t have to have all the answers to trust Jesus and walk in faith.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for the beauty and joy You instill into our daily lives. Show us Your glory! Help us take advantage of the opportunities You give us and draw closer to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How can you live with defiant joy today, however trying your circumstances? What are you grateful for?

Tasks: Join me in carrying on my mom’s legacy of defiant joy. There is always a reason to be grateful and celebrate! Nice weather, all green traffic lights, met a goal, received a compliment, ate delicious food? Buy yourself some flowers or dance around while praising God! Read this fun throwback about my mom’s epic 60th birthday party.

Finding Grace #470

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Trail Winter photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was full of family and friends, which was joyful as we celebrated my mom’s life. But, of course, there was also sadness and grief. 

We spent Sunday and Monday working around my parents’ house and hanging out with loved ones in Florida. We helped my dad by going through my mom’s clothing and accessories. We chose some of my mom’s personal items to keep or share with loved ones. We also made decisions about what to donate. Mom always loved blessing others, so I think she would be pleased.

On Tuesday afternoon, we flew back to Fargo. It was difficult to leave my dad, but his brother, John, stayed behind with him for a few days. Lydia and I had three flights and arrived home around 11:30 p.m. Everything went smoothly, praise God. We went straight to bed so that we could get up early for work and school.

Work went well, though, to be honest, my heart wasn’t really in it. I think it will be a struggle for a little while since convincing people to change food habits pales in comparison to grief and thoughts of eternity. My coworkers have all been so kind to check in and let me talk, as needed. I know from previous experiences with grief that it just takes time to process and move forward. But I also appreciate your prayers!

Often on Friday afternoons, I would call my mom to check in. So, it is sad not to be able to do that anymore. On top of that, yesterday, I went to the grocery store and saw random items Mom would typically buy. I was sad, but when I got home, a card was in the mail and reminded me that God comforts us like a mother does her child. Perfect timing, Lord! A little bit later, I called my aunt. We reminisced together and it was exactly what I needed. God is so good.

Today, I caught up around the house. I made some sourdough bread and some sourdough pancakes. Lydia hung out with a friend, and one of my friends visited me. She listened to me talk about Mom and encouraged me. It was so kind of her!

Don’t forget to turn your clocks one hour forward! Spring is around the corner!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #469

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.
I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!
Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!
This week was bittersweet, a mix of difficulty and blessing. As you may know, my mom died last weekend, a couple of hours after I posted my weekly recap.
So, the week was spent trying to get many things in order! Sunday and Monday were spent packing and planning, contacting people who loved Mom. I also worked a half day to tie up some loose ends. Sometimes, those tasks are helpful when grieving because they give your mind something to focus on. In terms of packing, we essentially threw in the same items from last week and a few more outfits.
On Tuesday morning, we flew to Florida again. This time, we had an early flight and two layovers. Thankfully, we arrived safe and sound and could continue helping Dad plan Mom’s services. It was soothing to go through pictures and remember how much fun we had with Mom. God has come through for us in so many ways.
This week, family and friends from several states gathered together in honor of my Mom. And, today, we had her memorial service at my parents’ local church. They are a very loving group, and it felt good to be amongst those who knew my parents well, even if just for a short while.
Thanks again for all the love and support. I appreciate your continued prayers, especially for my dad, Tom. Life is short, just a vapor, really. Please get to know Jesus and live for Him. And, hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight.
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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!
There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Another Homecoming

After a little more than six weeks of health struggles, my mom went Home to be with Jesus late Saturday 2/22. This is our family’s second loss in the last year, my Aunt Deb and now Mom. Still, we have peace knowing they knew Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

Naturally, we are still feeling the shock of it all. Mom was a fighter and did her best. Her health issues did not seem life-threatening at first, but unfortunately they just all added up. In the end, she was granted total healing!

On Sunday 2/23, I wrote the following on my social media account and tagged my mom’s. Please forgive me and keep reading below if you have already seen it. I want to have all of this in one spot so I can reread it whenever needed.

Hello, for all those who love my mom, I want to share that she met Jesus late last night after a brief, but trying, series of health issues.
We did not share much publicly because she wanted to maintain her privacy, and it is just a lot to keep people up to date. But thank you to the dear friends and family who reached out along the way.
After years of living with chronic pain, it would be selfish to ask her to continue in that way, just for us. This was not the John 10:10 life Jesus died to give her, but she’s joyfully experiencing it now! We’re thankful she does not have to suffer any longer.
We know God does not waste our tears or pain. He has been so good and faithful and will always be because that’s who He is. Our hope and trust is in the kindness and wisdom of King Jesus. We will continue to praise Him and bring Him glory.
Philippians 1:21 says, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain.” If you don’t know Jesus, today is the day of salvation.
The Good News, or gospel, is this: “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9) None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so make sure you take care of this, right now even. That would be Mom’s biggest desire to see you in Heaven some day.
Thanks for all your love and support. Please continue to keep us in prayer, especially my dad, Tom, as we figure out the next steps.
Enjoy eternal glory, Mom. You are more alive than ever before. You fought the good fight and finished your race. He who began a good work was faithful to complete it in you. We will miss you dearly, but we know we will see you again! We are so very proud of you. XOXOXO
May be an image of 2 people, people smiling and eyeglasses

My mom was the most unique person I have known. A natural-born redhead, she was feisty and compassionate, filled with kindness and a zest for life. She loved fiercely and spoke her mind. She was bold and decisive but equally funny and generous. You never had to question where she stood on things. She always stood up for the left out, the disadvantaged, and the underdog.

Mom was certainly one-of-a-kind. She was classy and glamorous. She loved reading, animals (especially cats), art and beauty, nature and science, and making things pretty. Mom used her gift of encouragement to brighten the lives of all she met. She sparkled, and this world will never be the same without her. I am sure she’s in awe of Heaven’s brilliant colors, seeing everything from a new perspective now. Her joy is complete!

Mom overcame many challenges that would have decimated anyone else. She clung to Jesus with all she had, and He brought her through time and again. Mom instilled that faith and resiliency in each of us four kids. We are resolved to keep moving forward.


If you read my blog regularly, you will know that since COVID, my family has been doing weekly Zoom calls on Sunday nights. Mom was so appreciative of the time we could spend talking and laughing. Family was everything to her.

I know she was looking forward to being reunited with her parents, her grandparents, Dave, Aunt Deb, and many others. She wisely put her faith in Jesus many decades ago. While Mom was not perfect, she lived for Jesus and loved well.

Last weekend, Lydia and I went to Florida to spend time with Mom and Dad. I cheered her on to eat well, like any good dietitian would! I brought Mom all sorts of foods and watched her enjoy small amounts. She was not feeling well, but we made the most of it. I ran some errands for her and pampered her as well as I could, given the difficult circumstances. We did not know it was our last time together, but God did.

It will be tough for us in the coming days, especially Dad. I’ve lost my spouse, though this is a new loss, too. Nonetheless, Mom did her best to rely on Jesus, and we trust Him with the rest. We needed Him to move, and He did just that. He will continue to work it all out for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28).

Thanks again for all your prayers and support.

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God, thanks for Mom and all the ways You used her to bless others. You are so good, Lord. Comfort us and draw more people to You, as we carry on her legacy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: If you knew my mom, what is your favorite memory of her?

Task: If you don’t know Jesus, make your decision to follow him TODAY. He will bring peace to your life, like you’ve never known before.

Finding Grace #467

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Mountains Forest photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week, I had a short work week since Lydia and I had special plans.

I worked Monday through Wednesday and tried to stay on top of things. I thought I would get behind since I had a lot of patients. But, then a few people canceled last minute. I enjoy seeing people, but in this case, it was helpful! 🙂

 One highlight was starting a book club with some of my coworkers. I asked them to read Atomic Habits, and we met on Tuesday to discuss it. It is a good book so far, with applications for many of our patients!

It was very cold again this week. Nothing unusual with that. LOL

Thankfully, Lydia and I are spending time with loved ones in warmer weather for the long holiday weekend. It has been good to be together!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #461

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Mountains Nature photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week with a mixture of work and relaxation!

Work was busy, but it was nice to have Wednesday off for New Year’s Day. Monday and Tuesday were busy, and then Thursday and Friday were calmer. I was able to stay on top of things, but I also got ahead on some projects for the next few weeks.

On Wednesday, I enjoyed cooking, exercising, and starting my new Bible plan for the year. I watched a show and mostly relaxed. I could get used to having a day off in the middle of the week! 😉

The weather was closer to normal, but we still don’t have much snow! I’m sure we will get more soon, but I am grateful!

My internet went out this week, and I spent three hours working on it. My brothers were great at helping me via text, but I still needed to call the company to send a service person. He came the next day after work and still spent an hour figuring it out! Thankfully, it’s all good now. I still don’t quite know what the problem was, lol!

I spent about four hours on the phone this week at various points. I enjoyed catching up with family and friends. I feel blessed to have good connections with people who care about me (and vice versa)!!

Today, Lydia and I did a little cleaning but mostly relaxed. Tonight, we’re watching “Your Friend, Nate Bargatze” on Netflix. He’s quite funny, and I appreciate the clean comedy!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Don’t Fall Prey to Fear

Last week, I talked about seeking peace and avoiding distractions, largely regarding busyness. But I also recognize that fear, anxiety, and worry are a triple threat to maintaining our peace.

This season brings many emotions, such as joy, gratitude, sadness, grief, and stress. While there is so much to enjoy, it is okay to have mixed emotions. Let’s be alert for those, like fear, that would drive us away from God’s infinite LOVE.

You know I must have very specific reasons for living in a state with around six months of winter! Often, I don’t mind, but the amount of snow can sometimes be a little much at times. It becomes even more nerve-wracking if there’s ice involved. Combined with winter’s darker, early nights, I must be on guard and protect my peace.

Thankfully, God has taught me a lot about dealing with fear! I can pray for His help, reframe the situation, apply the Truth of Scripture, and switch my focus outward in service to others. Fear threatens to trap us, but we don’t have to fall prey to fear!

In practical terms, I can also dress warm, have a good attitude, go slow when needed, and thank God for all-wheel drive. I can listen to the radio, especially the Christmas carols at this time of year! I can stop and run errands nearby to wait out the traffic, if needed.

Free Nature Winter photo and picture

Another way to guard my peace is to monitor what is going into and coming out of my heart and mind. The radio can be encouraging, but often, listening to the news is not. I can read the details instead and monitor it as I go. What goes in must come out eventually, and speaking the Truth with grace and kindness is a better alternative to gossip.

Monitoring energy levels may also be helpful at this time of year! If something is draining my peace, I might be giving in fear. If it brings rejuvenation, I’m more likely to be on the right path! Faith is a stretch, but God rewards and encourages us along the way.

During the holidays, it is easy to do things without always connecting with why. Traditions are great, but sometimes we lose the intention. We cannot allow holiday traditions or daily activities to take our eyes off Jesus. Ideally, these joyous events should point us to Him!

If you are not “into” something this year, have the courage to skip it or change it. It’s okay to do something different that is more meaningful! Instead of feeling stuck, at least discuss it with your family. Perhaps you can take a step of faith and connect with Jesus in a new way while building memories together!

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God, thanks for giving us Jesus, the Reason for the Season. Help us keep our focus on You. Give us wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What are your favorite Christmas traditions? Do you do them every year or rotate between them? I like to make certain foods but don’t necessarily have a strict timeline!

Tasks: Make a list of the activities you want to do this holiday season. Match each one to your energy levels, which may ebb and flow. Choose the best and let go of the rest. Or, do some of them in January! 😉

Finding Grace #457

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free christmas christmas headdress decoration illustration

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was encouraging! I met for coffee with a dear friend on Sunday afternoon. We had a good time catching up, and our conversation stuck with me for several days.

We also had a good time on family Zoom. My four-year-old nephew is so funny, and I enjoy his seasonal excitement. It is special to see his understanding of Jesus and how we celebrate Him.

Work was busy, and I had to advocate for a patient who has been having ongoing troubles. The VA is doing well to serve him, but he’s having difficulty getting the care he needs elsewhere. We’ve gone above and beyond, so I hope he’s on the mend soon.

On Wednesday, we had something called a “snow sqaull.” The snow blew at high speeds all day, but we only had about half an inch of true accumulation. Still, I had over half of my driveway covered with foot-deep drifts. I spent over an hour shoveling and snowblowing since my snow service doesn’t come unless we reach the one-inch ‘trigger.’ It was bitter cold, but nothing I couldn’t handle. My mobility work made my back feel much better than I expected afterward!

Ironically, around the time, I started feeling sick. It is likely related to the cold, dry weather because my lungs are taking the brunt of it. It is exactly how I felt when I was sick almost all of June. This summer, I hoped to feel better on my own, but I ended up going to the doctor three times. Yesterday, I went in much sooner to get on top of it. The provider called it bronchitis and gave me an antibiotic, a steroid, and another inhaler. I am so glad I decided to go in since I don’t have time to be sick!

This week, I felt confirmation that I am right where God wants me. The snow essentially took priority on Wednesday, and I was glad to have the flexibility. Life just slows down when it comes to blizzardy weather, and I am glad I didn’t have to rush around! Later, I was asked to help with a small editing project for my church. This is a joy for me, and I would not be able to do it if I was overbooked.

Today, I mostly rested. I did some gentle exercise that was easy on my lungs. I promise I didn’t push myself too hard! Then, I worked on the editing project and our typical Saturday things. Lydia and I had a good discussion on resiliency and follow-through. We also finally got around to decorating for Christmas!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!