Pillows and Pizza

Can you believe we are already one full week into the new year/decade?! Yes, Christmas was already two weeks ago! Just like clockwork, here we are! 🙂

Yesterday, I celebrated my 12th wedding anniversary, and of all the awesome Christmas gifts we received, one stands out to me. My sister and sister-in-law made me two beautiful pillows (pictured below)!

Receiving the pillows was such a wonderful surprise! Their kindness made me feel so special because I love birds (peacocks are especially pretty). Blue and green are my favorite colors, and the blue satiny material is from my sister’s bridesmaid dress.

Every time I look at the pillows, I not only have fun memories of Dave, but I also imagine all the effort that was put into them. They spent a lot of time traveling to each other’s homes (2+ hours away) and thinking ahead about how to piece the materials together. In fact, that these dear ladies wanted to bless me is a gift in itself!

Yesterday was a good day all around. I saw it on my calendar, of course, but it didn’t faze me like Dave’s recent birthday. For some reason, our anniversary doesn’t hurt as much.

It was about ten degrees outside (felt much colder, below zero), but the lovely blue-skied day made everything feel bright! I felt cheerful and grateful.

My mom left an encouraging voice mail while I was at work, and when I got off, I called her back. We laughed as we reminisced and told ‘Dave stories.’

After that, I ran a few errands before picking up Lydia. As we got in the car, I asked her if she wanted to get pizza from Papa Murphy’s. Then, we invited a friend to join us. We had a fun evening together and shared more memories of Dave.

Pillows and pizza. These are just some of the ways I see God show me His love and grace. I appreciate it when people take the time to encourage me and pray for me… So thank you!

I can feel everyone cheering me on, and it makes all the difference!

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God, thanks for showing me your love and grace through the kindness of other people. Help me be a blessing to others and bring them comfort, too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are you celebrating this week? Something special or something routine?

Tasks: When you have the chance to bless someone, go for it! No gift is too small.

Finding Grace #200

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week we eased back into normal life after the holidays! Lydia and I had a really good break, which was just what we needed. I’m so grateful for the chance to relax! We enjoyed playing so many fun games and doing art projects together. I also was able to get caught up on a few of my own tasks. Thank You, Lord!

Lydia went back to school on Thursday, and I went back to work. It was good to have two days to readjust and then another weekend. We made it! LOL

We had a blizzard over the weekend and a late start for daycare and work on Monday. We received over a foot of snow! Last night, I turned onto a busy street and reached the intersection right before the light turned red. I had difficulty stopping, however, and slid into oncoming traffic! I ended up turning and going with the traffic (instead of being T-boned). I’m grateful for God’s protection!

My snow removal service (and a couple of my neighbors) have been good to help with my snow. I still have my own portion to do though, and this week, I also cleared the bike path where the bus stop is located. It took me over an hour to do just that one portion. For fun, I calculated the volume of snow I cleared. Conservatively, I shoveled and blew away 377 cubic feet of snow! It felt like a big accomplishment! 😉

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Looking Back and Moving Forward

Welcome to 2020!! Wow, that has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?!

Recently on social media, people were having a ‘decade challenge’ where they posted a picture of themselves in 2009 and 2019. It was cool to see how many people have stayed the same and/or changed.

I didn’t post any pictures, in part because I couldn’t find any pictures of me from 2009 without a lot of effort. Hey, it’s been ten years! 😉

Nonetheless, I have certainly been thinking about all that has happened in the last decade. After all, hindsight is 20/20. 😉 It is important to remember all the things we’ve been through. Not because we should stay there, but so we can learn and grow past them.

Here is a brief recap of my last decade. I’m looking back while still moving forward. Also, I did find a picture of me with Dave right before we moved to North Dakota in early 2010. Close enough! 🙂

2009: Dave and I celebrated one year of marriage. We also went through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. The wise principles we learned through this course put us on the same page in our marriage by giving us common goals and helping us communicate better. Only God could know what was coming next, and I’m extremely grateful for the impact that course had on both our finances and our marriage.

2010: With my support, Dave decided to apply for a job in West Fargo, North Dakota, with Caterpillar. He was hired almost immediately, and that set the stage for the biggest challenges of our lives. We felt God was calling us to a big adventure, though had we known what that entailed, perhaps we would have stayed put. Still, we moved twelve hours away from our family and friends and soon settled into our brand new home and community. Dave had so much fun using his snowblower to clear several feet of snow that year!

2011: The highlights here include meeting many new neighbors and friends at church. However, it was difficult to be far from family, and we had to miss several fun events. Later that year, Dave and I celebrated Lydia Ruth’s arrival. She was named after my grandmother, who died the year before. I will never forget the pure joy on Dave’s face when Lydia was born. He was so very proud to be her Daddy!

2012: One afternoon in early May 2012, Dave came home from work early and stayed in bed for a week. He felt sick and had no energy. I could hear his stomach making sounds from over ten feet away. On Mother’s Day, I took him to the ER and he was admitted. We soon found out he had Stage IV colon cancer. Lydia was not quite six months old. We spent the rest of the year going through chemo and two major surgeries. Through this, God used cancer to expose my deepest fears and challenge my faith. It was grueling, as you can imagine, but Dave’s positive attitude will always stand out in my mind.

2013: A very difficult year. Dave continued to decline and was in the hospital more than he was at home. He had a third major surgery in April. My faith was in crisis mode. At first, he rebounded, thanks to the amazing support of our loving family and friends. But on May 15th, 2013, Dave died at the age of 34 and my life as a widowed single mom began. I was 30 years old. Even in the midst of shock and immense heartache, I knew I needed to give myself time to properly grieve. By this point, all I could do was cling to Jesus. Whereas cancer rocked my faith, grief is where my faith was remade. I’m grateful God caught me and held me through it all.

2014: Dave and I had previously tried to dedicate Lydia at church, but each time, he had been too sick. So, in May 2014 (around the one-year anniversary of his death), I decided to do it on my own. For me, it was a huge step forward because it was scary to stand in front of everyone as a single mom. But, in terms of faith, it felt like I needed to draw a line in the sand and make a stand. For me, it was a Joshua 24:15 moment: “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

2015: I continued to work through various aspects of grief. (That could be said about every year since!) In May 2015, I decided to start blogging to mark our path of moving forward and finding God’s grace along the way. For months, I worked behind the scenes to learn the system and prepare. It took me a little while to find the courage to ‘put myself out there,’ but I finally went live in August. I’m so glad I did!

2016: Lydia began preschool in the fall. I wasn’t sure of where to send her, but God lead me to just the right place. Lydia’s teachers really connected well with her, and it was fun to see how she grew that year. Also, Lydia felt comfortable to start talking more about Dave to her teachers and little friends. I was concerned about this at first, but her teachers wisely and graciously helped us through that. They gave Lydia all the time, space, and resources to explain herself and come to terms with the loss in her own little way. I’m forever grateful and we have continued to roll with it as best we can.

2017: A year of transition. The company I worked for was bought out by a larger healthcare organization. My job was merged into the new system. It was scary, but I am glad I stuck it out. During this time, I also had a friend stay with us for six months while she got back on her feet. It was a fun time and our friendship grew stronger. That fall, Lydia started Kindergarten. It felt like a huge milestone!

2018: My parents moved to Florida in the spring. It was a little sad for me, but I am happy they have adjusted so well! We went to visit them during Lydia’s birthday and had a great time. Among other fun adventures, Lydia also started first grade. Our most stable year!

2019: Yet another transitional year. In February, I contacted a dietitian friend and talked with her about something related to Dave. Then, summer came and she contacted me about a new job! I had prayerfully felt something new was coming, and I am so glad I decided to apply. I have been there since August and it has been a huge blessing to me. There have been challenges in terms of daycare and other adjustments, but I am really grateful for the opportunity.

So what’s next? Well, only God knows. 🙂 But as I look back over the years, I see one transition after another. Yes, growth means changing through the ups and downs.

A good attitude always helps as we trust God to turn each problem into something good. I am looking forward to seeing His faithfulness as we continue on this great adventure.

“You’ve been so, so good to me. You’ve been so, so good to me. Oh, to think where I would be, if not for You, if not for You.” —Remembrance by Hillsong Worship

Despite my many challenges over the last ten years, God has never left me on my own. Each step of the way, He has helped me. I didn’t always understand how He was working, but I can see it now. And, I am grateful for His grace and goodness toward me.

I don’t know what your last decade entailed, but I hope you can see how God came through for you. He has not forgotten you. He fights for you and loves you very much!

Our Victory is in Jesus!

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God, be praised! We cannot thank You enough for all You have done for us. As we look back and see Your faithfulness, please build our trust. Give us the courage to keep moving forward, knowing You will lead us and catch us when we fall. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What challenges and victories have you faced over the last year…or ten? Can you see God’s hand in your circumstances, working them out for good?

Tasks: Write down the challenges you faced and the coinciding victories. Then, give God praise. If you haven’t seen anything good just yet, hang on! It’s coming!

Finding Grace #199

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week we enjoyed celebrating Jesus’ birthday! He really is the perfect gift! We enjoyed the Christmas Eve service at church and also joined another family for dinner on Tuesday. Then, we spent Christmas day at home. We talked with family and received so many wonderful gifts! Thank you!!

I worked on Monday but have had the rest of the week off. Lydia and I ran some errands this week and have enjoyed spending lots of time together! We have baked treats and played a ton of new games.

Lydia has really ‘grown up’ this week before my eyes. First, Lydia opted to put the Christmas money she received in her savings account. Then, we had some intense discussions about all sorts of topics, including body image, accepting our perceived flaws, and being who God made us to be. I was hoping these topics wouldn’t come up so soon, but I felt God directing our conversations. Lydia calmed herself down and considered what I was saying as I helped reframe her concerns. Thanks, Lord!

This week, Lydia decided she actually does like to eat bell peppers. She also made herself breakfast (toast, etc.) and lunch (which included salad). Then, she read an abridged children’s version of Moby Dick and was happy to discover a new-to-her genre of classic literature. It was fun to watch her engage with the story. Thankfully, I bought her a handful of these books over the summer and she has several more days off school!

On Thursday, Lydia also volunteered to help me shovel snow and did a fabulous job. Then, we had fun sledding in the lot behind our house! We stayed outside for over an hour and then came in and enjoyed some hot chocolate. Later, we upgraded Lydia’s closet to bigger hangers and donated some clothes that were too small for her.

Today Lydia and I enjoyed the snowy weather! She started a new book (Journey to the Center of the Earth, abridged) while I “hiked” in Austria on my treadmill! Then, this afternoon, a friend came to visit and we introduced them to several of our new games. The extra player made everything a lot more fun and competitive! We will be laughing about that for quite a while. Tonight, we are watching another movie or two. It’s been a full week!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

The Perfect Gift

Merry Christmas!! I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating Jesus!

Recently, I read an awesome statement that the Christmas story really started back in Genesis. After Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God cursed the serpent (Satan) and first mentioned His plan of salvation.

Genesis 3:15 says, “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; He will crush your head, and you will strike His heel.”

There are many prophecies in the Old Testament that speak of Jesus. Then, in the New Testament, our Savior comes and we learn His Name! In Luke Chapter 2, the Christmas story is simple yet profound.

There was a census; people traveled to their hometowns; it was crowded; a baby was born. Those are somewhat ordinary details. Yet, in Galatians 4:4, the Bible uses a phrase, “in the fullness of time,” that shows us Jesus came on purpose and at just the right point in history. God’s perfect gift!

I love how the basic setting and seemingly mundane details in the Bible make Jesus accessible to each of us regardless of our own circumstances. For example, like Jesus, most of us were not born into wealth. We can relate (at least a little bit–Jesus was born dirt poor).

Of course, the other details are vastly different: Angels, shepherds, barn animals and a manger, and later, a bright star and wise men from afar.

Back then, Mary and Joseph would have traveled in difficult circumstances. They did not have modern conveniences we take for granted, such as a car, heat, air conditioning, electricity, and running water. Indeed, if Jesus was born in our modern times, it would be a completely different story!

What if we read about Mary and Joseph driving to Bethlehem in a Prius or Suburban instead of walking and/or riding for days on a donkey? They could have booked reservations months ahead of time. OR, they could’ve skipped the chaotic trip altogether by filling out the Census data online, over the phone, through the mail, or by answering their front door and talking to someone in person.

If Jesus were born in this day and age, Mary and Joseph could have paid for a midwife or doula to assist them and ensure sweet little Jesus was born under sanitary conditions.

Today, Mary would have a well-stocked nursery and a sound machine to help Baby Jesus acclimate to this world. Yet God perfectly ordained His Son’s birth from the beginning of time.

Perhaps, if the Christmas story were more modern or glamorous, we wouldn’t appreciate the story in the same way. We might lose respect for the unique and humble birth of our Lord and Savior.

God could’ve picked a different time period, place, family, and race. But He didn’t. Instead, God chose the complex intricacies of the Christmas story on purpose.

God chose, in His wisdom, for Jesus to be born when political tensions were running high and when darkness ruled. Yet, the Christmas story is timeless and still relevant. There are certainly parallels that we can understand today.

Yes, Jesus is the PERFECT gift!! He was born a King, yet He did not ‘lord’ that fact over anyone. He taught us how to lead through humility and serving others. He understood human nature and showed us how to ‘live our best lives’… long before the hashtag ever existed. 😉

Mary and Joseph could have easily given in to doubts and fears like we often do. Surely they questioned the meaning behind their various struggles from time to time. But ultimately, they trusted God Most High to follow through on what He said He would do.

Maybe Christmas looks different for you this year.  As families grow and live far away, it is difficult to celebrate together. Or, maybe you are dealing with grief or loss. Bring it all to Jesus. Let that be your gift to Him this year.

Similarly, perhaps you’re also considering the challenges in your own life. At times, it can be difficult to stay on top of everything. It’s tiring to keep the momentum going!

Remember, Jesus came to Earth not just to rescue us, but to live with us. He faced all the same issues and temptations and heartaches we do. He understands.

He sees behind the scenes and from the top, from the beginning, and from the end.

We can trust Jesus’ perspective and His heart. He always comes through for us!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for sending us a Rescuer, Your Son, Jesus! We praise You for ordaining all the details in Your perfect timing. You are SO good! Help us love others how You love us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your favorite part of the Christmas story? What are your favorite Christmas traditions?

Tasks: In all the hubbub of today, make sure to spend time worshipping Jesus!

Finding Grace #198

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a really fun week, though there were a few tough moments! God came through for me with an extra dose of grace! I also really appreciated everyone’s support for Dave’s birthday.  Thank you!

This week, we had several fun holiday activities at work. We worked hard, but also wore ugly Christmas sweaters, exchanged Secret Santa gifts, took pictures, laughed and told stories, and ate some yummy meals and treats together. I’m grateful for a good job and wonderful coworkers who are becoming friends!

Lydia and I also hosted a white elephant exchange for my Thursday night small group friends. I unwrapped a 2012 giant phone book from Knoxville, Tennessee! I happened to give away an expired container of prunes, so I got even, lol! It was a fun time all around!

Today Lydia and I had fun relaxing around the house! We enjoyed playing new games, watching movies, baking treats, and finding Christmas gifts on the porch from loved ones. Lydia has had fun rearranging the boxes under the tree for Wednesday!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

There’s Always a Catch!

Have you ever noticed how when one thing starts going right, something else seems to go wrong? For example, when the washing machine finally gets fixed, the drier needs repaired or the laundry detergent runs out. Or, you finally remember a coupon at the grocery store but find out it has expired.

Why is there always a catch?

You may leave for work extra early but still get stuck in traffic. Or, you get your oil changed but then your breaks start squeaking. Or, you waited to go sledding until the wind finally dies down but then the bitter cold settles in.

Why can’t we get a break?

At this time of year, for some people, life can seem to close in as we are reminded of all we are missing or all that has been lost. Perhaps you’ve lost a job or relationship. Perhaps life has just turned out differently than expected.

Years ago, I discovered an interesting Bible verse in my own grief. Deuteronomy 33:27 says, “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” At first, it seems like an odd verse. Underneath are the everlasting arms…say what?

But when my late husband, Dave, died, I gained more understanding. Emotionally, it felt like the floor literally fell out from underneath my feet. My life was changed in an instant. But soon, that same verse brought me great comfort as I envisioned God catching me and drawing me near.

For those in the midst of intense grief, it can feel like you are falling with no place to land. It can be difficult to know which way is up. It might even feel like things will never get better. I get it. I’ve been there, too.

But, God caught me… and I know He will catch you too!

Maybe the Christmas season has you feeling down. Yet, that’s why Jesus came. He came not to simply bring light to the darkness, but to BE the light that extinguishes it.

Jesus came not to just fix what was broken but to give us a new purpose. He came not just to rescue us, but to give us a new life in Him. He is our living Hope.

During the holidays, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement or stuck in our emotions. In both cases, we risk missing Jesus altogether. Thankfully, with God, there’s always a catch!

Jesus is our Rescuer.

When life gets chaotic, free-fall into God’s open arms. He’s waiting for you, so cling to Him. Whatever you are going through today, whether it is exciting or exhausting, invite Jesus in. He’s got you surrounded in grace and peace.

Let Him catch you and comfort you. His love never fails!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for sending Jesus, Our Rescuer. Thanks for catching us and holding us close. Please keep us focused on You instead of our circumstances. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are there any Bible verses that you have found odd only to understand later on in a more personal way? If so, share in the comments!

Task: Listen to the song, “Power of Your Love,” sung by Darlene Zschech. Make it your heart’s cry and draw close to Jesus.

 

Finding Grace #196

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a really great week! It has been chilly, but we haven’t received any more snow since Sunday. I’m grateful the roads weren’t super slick.

All week I trained full time in the hospital portion of where I work! I really enjoyed working ‘inpatient’ again, as it has been a long time since I have done that. On Friday, the lady training me was off, so I covered for her and had a good day!

On Thursday, my small group friends canceled, so Lydia and I enjoyed watching ‘The Polar Express’! It was different than we expected but we both had a good time together.

That night, I also fixed a curtain rod in Lydia’s room! Years ago, she broke it when she used the curtains as a swing. I half-fixed it back then but needed to do a better job this time. A friend coached me over the phone but it feels good to finish the job on my own!

Today, Lydia and I attended an out-of-town baby shower for a friend. It was a fun way to celebrate her and we met some of her other friends! We played games and had yummy food! Thankfully, the weather was also good and the roads were clear.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Holiday Grieving Tips

It’s that time of year again. The holidays.

While this season is a time of celebration for most people, grief can make it particularly tough. When we miss loved ones (or are working through other losses), every day can be a struggle. It can be difficult to focus when the holiday season moves so fast.

If you’re dealing with grief this year, whether your loss is fresh or not, it still hurts. From special events to favorite songs or foods…nothing is the same anymore.

This is my seventh holiday season without my late husband, Dave. Each year has been so different, but thankfully, I have learned to keep an open mind and to keep it simple.

I have also learned to lay aside most expectations during this time. I don’t feel the need to attend every party. I don’t feel like I have to fake brave or fake holiday cheer. That doesn’t mean other people should have to feel how I do, but my feelings have a place too.

I always recommend talking about how you are feeling. Telling stories about loved ones we are missing honors them and can bring healing. A trusted friend can provide extra support and encouragement. Having someone listen without judgment is a true gift!

Similarly, serving others can also provide a way to shift our focus. As we meet the needs around us, we will see the beauty and joy God provides for us and through us.

The holiday season also includes Lydia’s birthday, Dave’s birthday, and our anniversary. So, each year is a toss-up on if/how I decorate, travel, or make certain festive foods…

There is freedom in playing it all by ear and not feeling pressure to figure it all out.

This year feels much better so far, but I am still taking each day as it comes. So far, I have watched Christmas movies, put up our tree, and have made special treats with Lydia!

I also have paid for snow removal services to ease the burden a little.

It won’t happen overnight, but the pain does feel better in time. Just stay close to Jesus and honor where you are right now. It will be alright.

Recently, I have found it helpful to review just how far God has brought me. While He continues to write your story, I pray you will find encouragement in these throwback posts:

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Hope and Healing for the Holidays

Gifts Galore

O Christmas Tree

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your grace and faithfulness! You are so good. Help me lean on You today and always. Bring peace and comfort to those who are heartbroken this season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How are you preparing for the holidays? Are you looking forward to all the celebrations or eager for them to be over already?

Tasks: I would love to pray for you during this season, especially if you are struggling with grief and loss. You can reach me through email at:  nat.grace.lemonade@gmail.com

 

 

 

Finding Grace #195

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a full week, yet we were also able to relax. Work went well and was fairly busy, but then it was time to play! Balance, right?!

On Thursday, we invited a friend over for Thanksgiving. She is from Ghana, so her family is also far away. We made and ate yummy food, then caught up and shared about our blessings. We played with Lydia’s new coding robot and played other games, too.

Later in the evening, we all watched ‘Home Alone’ and put up our Christmas tree! This movie is a classic and always reminds me of my family. We saw the movie when it first came to the theater (in 1990) with my grandparents. Regarding my extended family, the more of us there are, the louder we get. When we all get together, it gets rather chaotic. But, we all love each other and support each other despite our differences. We always have fun playing ‘reindeer games’ and catching up!

Lydia and I both have enjoyed this long weekend. It has been so good to sleep in and go at a slower pace. Lydia and I have played board games and watched more movies, like ‘Elf’ and ‘Little Women.’ This weekend was just what I needed! Thank You, Jesus!

Today, we stayed in to relax and wait out a winter storm. The snow is quite pretty, and I am grateful to have help with snow removal. It was a good decision to hire someone for the season. I’ll still need to clear some snow (where they can’t get super close to the house), but it will require less of my time and physical effort. I’m grateful!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!