Hello! How are you feeling today? Today, I want to tell you about a tool called an emotion wheel that can help you understand how you feel so you can decide what to do about it!
I first encountered it while writing my book, though it has existed for many years. It helped me describe my feelings about Dave’s sickness and death, not to mention my struggle with fear, faith, and moving forward.
The act of writing was rewarding but challenging, so I appreciated being able to point to an adjective and analyze my feelings, process my grief, and stick with my project. In short, this tool takes abstract concepts and makes them more concrete.
I recently came across the emotion wheel again, and it felt like God’s perfect timing, as next Monday is the tenth anniversary of Dave’s death.
Most emotion wheels will highlight the basic feelings of happiness/joy, sadness/grief, fear, anger, disgust, and surprise. As Lysa TerKeurst says, “Emotions are indicators, not dictators.” So, we can use them for insight, but they don’t run the show and should not predict how we act.
We must identify emotions to validate and resolve them before they spill over on others. Unchecked emotions can lead to assumptions and wreak havoc. If not now, later. Unresolved anger can lead to passive aggressiveness, jealousy, and revenge. Fear can yield playing it safe and missed opportunities. Grief, without an outlet, can stop someone from living fully.
There are several ways to use the emotion wheel. You can start in the middle and work your way out, or vice versa. Find words that resonate with you and see how they are related. Then, you can come up with the next steps to address them.
Here are a couple of examples that have stood out to me when I’ve used the wheel:
“Oh, I am feeling isolated, which is similar to being lonely and related to sadness. Hmmm… could it be another layer of grief?” I could take a walk, but maybe I need to call someone for support.
or
“I am feeling overwhelmed, which is next to anxiety, which is rooted in fear. Why am I feeling afraid?” I should read some Bible verses about fear and turn my worries over to God.
Another example is this: I had a fun day recently, laughing and receiving good news. As you can imagine, I was mostly feeling happy emotions. In some ways, reading the adjectives later helped me relish the joy all the more.
Interestingly, I rarely feel angry – I deal more with fear… while Lydia more easily identifies with anger – yet it comes and goes quickly! We both relate to happiness and sadness, but less often, disgust. It has been fun to see and hear her perspective, and I hope it is a way for us to continue communicating as she moves into middle school.
Another tool is a chart I found on Etsy. It came as a download or in the form of a pillowcase! It ranks feelings according to a spectrum of energy and positivity. Anger is an adverse reaction, and it uses a lot of emotional energy. The sad emotions are typically less positive and drain energy. Joy is positive and high energy, while calmness is positive and low energy.
This was insightful because I tend to feel lower energy levels, but now I wonder if it’s just my personality. As an introvert, I get excited sometimes, but overall, I enjoy calmness and a slower pace. In fact, this is a great strength, but the world moves more quickly. Thankfully, I am learning to interpret what’s going on a little better so I can plan ahead. If I have a big event ahead, I can pare down my schedule to conserve energy and implement some strategies for coping and recovery.
Of course, there is no right way or wrong way to feel. These are simply tools. Nonetheless, you can combine them with Scripture to tap into all God has for you!
While Satan wants us to stay stuck in our emotions, distracted and offended, Jesus wants us to live fully! (See John 10:10.) Instead of being ruled by our feelings, let’s use them to turn to God! Instead of running away from our emotions, let’s use them to run to God.
