Living Amid the Shadow of Death

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” –Psalm 23:4, ESV

On Sunday morning, my cousin’s precious 12-year-old son (Ethan, her only child) was tragically killed in a snowmobiling accident in Ohio. Please keep his parents and all of my family in prayer. There are no words to describe the collective heartache.

Moreover, lately, I have been aware of other people’s equally difficult losses, too. Whether loss of life due to COVID, other health issues, or even more senseless tragedies, death and destruction seem to be everywhere these days.

In times like these, I think of all my loved ones who have already passed on. It is comforting to imagine Ethan being greeted by my grandparents, two aunts (one of which is his grandmother), and my late husband, Dave. Often, it brings me comfort but sometimes, I have to stop before my grief gets the best of me.

Yes, grief is extremely painful at times. But while I am very aware of the so-called reality of Death, I am also very aware of the ultimate reality of Eternal Life and even the joy found in living in the here and now.

When I can’t wrap my mind around all of the sadness, I take all my thoughts and feelings to Jesus. He is the Source of Life, and He helps me sort out all my problems, emotions, and doubts. He relieves me of those burdens and gives me a lighter load.

But even though Jesus conquered Death (and Sin) when he rose from the grave, we still deal the pain and darkness of it every day. We, as Christ followers, place our hope in God’s eternal wisdom and plan, even we don’t understand it. We mourn differently than those who place their hope in earthly things.

Yet, how do we keep living amid the shadow of Death?

**The ideas that follow are not so much “tips” as they are reflections. Each person handles grief and loss in their own unique way. Nonetheless, I hope these thoughts point you in the right direction, towards Jesus, who will make everything right someday.**

First things first, we draw closer to the Light of Jesus. A shadow is not a shadow without the presence of light. So, in Jesus’ presence, we keep the shadows in perspective.

Similarly, we recognize that Death has lost its power. A shadow constantly shifts shape, but there is no hint of darkness or changing in Jesus (James 1:17). God is God over the shadows (2 Kings 20:9-11). When we look to the Cross of Christ, we will see death for what it really is. Only temporary.

Next, we celebrate the lives of those we love and are missing. We talk about them and share memories of them. We honor them as we place one step in front of the other, living a full life and making the most of our time. Life is so short…but God’s grace is abundant.

We recall that God does not bring tragedy and pain upon His children, but He helps us in our struggles and does not leave us in the valley on our own. He collects our tears and won’t waste our pain. Yes, He promises to use these horrible circumstances for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28).

Finally, we understand God is not surprised by tragedies or twists in our life story. If we are willing to trust Him, He will even use our story to help bring healing to someone else. We can choose to keep moving forward with Jesus.

He is the God of all comfort and peace.

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God, we thank You for the gift of Life. Lord, You are the King and You reign over death. Will You help us to trust You more when we don’t understand? Please bring Your peace and comfort, Lord. Give us courage and strength as we keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: In the midst of tragedies, where are you placing your hope and trust? Have you asked Jesus to meet you in the midst of your pain?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Valleys Fill First,” by Caedmon’s Call. Remember to take all your pain, sorrow, and grief to Jesus! He loves you more than you can even imagine.

Note to Self: Don’t Fake Brave

What surprises me the most about grief is both the depth of the wound and the healing it requires. Thankfully, I gave the Lord control of that long ago. His ways and thoughts are much higher than mine; I trust Him to teach me and take care of me.

On Monday morning, I called my writing coach to discuss a special project. Part of his job is to point out growth areas and things to work on. I trust his professional input!

During his critique, my writing coach mentioned, “You must’ve been in a hurry to finish this piece. It reads like you were trying to be brave.” I had unintentionally chosen a safe route, glossing over some details which might provide more meaning and context.

As we talked, he said, “You have your public life and try to be brave, but on paper you don’t need to be brave. This is where you show how you are really doing.”

Wow, I thought and tearfully scribbled a quick note to myself: Don’t fake brave.

Grammar aside, my coach pointed out a common problem. We often put on a smile to face the world and hope people don’t see our struggles. We try the ‘fake it till you make it’ approach. That might work short-term, but long-term, we don’t have to be superheroes.

In real life, just surviving a traumatic event is a Victory. You don’t have to thrive in order for it to count. Whether you run, walk, or crawl through the muck, it’s a win as long as you keep going. Don’t give up!

Also, we don’t need to compare our struggles to someone else’s successes. What I consider a Victory may differ from someone else. Bravery looks different for each of us. That’s okay!

For example, on Monday, bravery looked like tossing an old, holey shirt, even though it was a treasured gift from Dave. Even small wins are good!

Monday evening felt like a Victory, too. My entry way lights have been flickering for quite some time, and I finally got around to asking for help. There were several minor issues to address, but everything turned out better than expected.

I’ll have to buy a new light fixture, but that’s not too bad. At the same time, it was bittersweet because if Dave was here, he would have taken care of the lights on his own.

Ironically, the electricians were impressed with the breaker switches in the fuse box. I explained how Dave had labeled each one. Silently, I remembered how thoughtful he was. I felt the loss.

While the electricians were super friendly, I tried to hold my emotions together. I didn’t want to overshare with strangers! Yet when I did explained my situation, they offered to help install the new light. It was a blessing to be brave!

Yes, Monday was a great reminder of the Lord’s grace. He helped me navigate through each situation in ways that moved my heart and brought healing. Praise God!

All of us practice bravery every day in big and small ways! 

My point is: With Jesus, we don’t have to fake it. He knows our pain, weaknesses, fears and failures. Yet, He eagerly carries our burdens and never leaves us on our own. Lay down your defenses and come to Him just as you are.

With His abundant grace, the Lord provides more than we need to get through life’s troubles. As we seek Him, He comforts us with his strength and joy. He makes our path straight and smooth. That doesn’t mean life is easy…but it is better with Jesus.

Sometimes being brave is not fun or glamorous. For me, it can mean difficult decisions and occasional tears. But, instead of focusing on life’s trials, I celebrate God’s goodness and faithfulness. I can be brave (for real) because His love never fails!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good. Thank You for carrying our burdens and giving us joy. God, give us the courage to come to You and be brave. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: In what ways do you fake being brave? Do you think that is helpful or a hindrance to healing?

Tasks: Don’t fake brave. 🙂 Let Jesus shoulder your burden. Journal through your grief or other challenges. Share your heart with a trusted friend.

Thank God for Our Soldiers

Today, we remember the sacrifices of those in the armed forces who fought on our behalf, many of whom gave their lives for ours. We celebrate them and thank them, for all they have given to protect us and preserve our nation. Family members, friends, neighbors and coworkers—just about everyone knows a soldier. Be sure to tell them ‘thank you’ today.

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When I think of my own heritage, I am proud that my grandfathers enlisted in the Army and Navy, during World War II. But, the women also contributed to the fight for freedom.

“If no one is shooting at you, it’s a good day.” –Norah Yeagle

Norah was my dad’s mom, my grandmother from England. She met my grandpa, Allison, who was an American GI, while she was a bank teller in Bristol. She lived through the blackouts and dark days of World War II. After the war ended, Norah became a war bride and bravely left all she knew to move to central Illinois, where she raised a family.

My grandmother’s wise words really put into perspective the freedom our valiant men and women have earned for us. I attend the church of my choice and can speak freely without fear of losing my life or going to prison, unlike other places around the world. I can choose where to live and how to spend my money, largely because of the courageous effort of those who have gone before me. There is no room to complain when times get tough.

On my mom’s side, my great-aunt Pat was a nurse/medic in the British Army during World War II. She raced across the battlefield to rescue wounded soldiers, with bullets whizzing past her head. Talk about courage under fire! Aunt Pat met her future husband, Uncle Harold, in a ‘foxhole’… Imagine that!

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What would’ve happened if all these brave men and women did not step up in the time of need? Where would you and I be today?

These soldiers put their lives on hold to fight for ours. And, don’t forget those currently serving and their families, who make many sacrifices for us too. Thank God for them!

We often think of bravery in times of intense action. This may include fighting in a war, taking a bullet for someone, or saving a stranger from oncoming traffic. Absolutely, yes! However, bravery comes in many forms. Courage is needed whether in the field or back at home.

Everyone has an important role.

In fact, it takes courage to have a difficult conversation and forgive someone. Courage is needed to set boundaries, know your limits, and grow as a person. It takes guts to say “Yes” to what is right, even when saying “No” to the other option brings fear, disappointment, or even judgment from others. Courage is required to face a future that looks different than expected.

Many people I know face chronic pain or debilitating disease, often putting on a brave face, showing more concern for others than themselves. It is admirable to move forward and continue living a full life despite the pain.

Often, courage requires a choice to go in another direction, to choose a difficult path instead of the easy one. It can be uncomfortable. You might have to stand alone.

But fear not. You are more than a conqueror. The battle belongs to the Lord.

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God, thank You for the courageous men and women who fought for our freedom, and for those who are still fighting for us. Thanks for Your protection and provision. Thank You for making us brave. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.