Paper Chains and Peace

You’ve probably heard the saying, “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change.” Just about everything cycles back around, including emotions, birthdays, and holidays. There are seasons of much and seasons of little.

There are days we can’t get enough of something, and there are days we get tired of the very same thing! Excitement gets balanced by apathy, as the newness wears and off, and becomes, well, old. But, like most things, soon we start the cycle again.

As we start December, I am grateful. I’m praising God that when everything else changes, He remains the same. Jesus is our one constant in amid chaos and change.

Whether I am having an awesome day or a less-than-stellar day, He is there. When I feel on top of my to-do list, or when I can’t even find my to-do list, Jesus is my guide.

As we head into the Christmas season, remember you don’t have to have it all together. Grief can be particularly difficult during the holidays. It’s okay not to be okay. Especially this year!

But, when darkness presses in, cling to Jesus, the Light of the World. 

Also, don’t be afraid to switch it up. Certain traditions can take a break if needed. If that happens, perhaps even some new memories will be made!

Maybe, like me, you are keeping the decorations simple. Going through a pile of memories and ornaments isn’t always helpful, so this year, we opted for a red, white, and green paper chain while watching Home Alone. We may still add a few ornaments, when we get the time, but I am giving myself the grace to just see what happens. No pressure.

For anyone struggling this season, it’s okay to feel how you feel. Just remember to take it to Jesus. He loves you more than you can understand, and He knows exactly what you need. That’s why He came… to save us and help us. He is our Living Hope!

I’m grateful that Christmas is not about the decorations, gifts, or even the wonderful Christmas music. It’s about God seeing our pain and suffering and sadness, and then doing what only He could do to bring peace, healing, comfort and joy… for good.

Christmas is all about Jesus; some people will understand that this year more than ever. There are many beautiful aspects of the season, but let’s keep it simple and focus on Jesus. Just like the song, O Holy Night, says, “fall on your knees” and worship Him!

Only He can make all things right in due time.

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God, thank you for Jesus and all He is to us! Thank you that He came to save us, something we could never do on our own. Lord, You are so good. Help us glorify you in all things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you already started decorating for Christmas? Are you planning to keep all your special traditions this year… or switch it up?

Tasks: I challenge you to rethink your traditions and why you do them. Do they honor God and family, or are they really just a distraction? Pick your best options and consider letting go of the rest (at least for this year).

Finding Grace #247

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was went really well. It was busy early-on, but of course slowed down with Thanksgiving on Thursday. Then, we had a great time relaxing!

On Tuesday, we Zoomed into a gathering of about fifteen other families to wish a 3-year-old happy birthday. We don’t see these friends (originally met through Caterpillar) often, but we very much appreciated the invitation to see their little girl and join in celebrating her.

For Thanksgiving, we kept it low key. We had a visitor stay with us and we had fun celebrating. We ate some good food, watched some movies, and went to see the holiday lights around town. It is a strange year, but we still have so much to be thankful for!

Work at the VA went well, and I worked some additional hours again. It was a shorter week for me, though I was on-call today! I ended up going in, but it wasn’t too difficult.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Special Days Are Still Difficult

As I previously mentioned, Lydia’s 9th birthday was last weekend! We had a fun day together, as you might expect. But, as the evening wore on and bedtime grew close, Lydia started feeling sad.

Perhaps she was already feeling sad, but she didn’t say anything earlier in the day. We were watching “Jingle Jangle” on Netflix, and I thought everything was going well. But toward the end of the show, Lydia started softly crying.

She said the show was sad, although I hadn’t noticed anything overly sad about it. It could have been the fact that it was growing late, or maybe it was just coming down after a high point (celebrating her birthday). Either way, I still needed to help her understand and deal with her emotions.

I silently prayed for help and asked Lydia to share what was on her mind. She couldn’t quite express her thoughts, so I asked a few questions to get her talking. She missed her dad, my late husband, Dave.

Soon, I remembered I had some of Dave’s clothes, saved for this very reason. Around seven years ago, I had packaged up a medium-sized box of his favorite shirts and a pair of jeans, so Lydia could one day understand more about how tall he was and his interests.

I asked Lydia if she wanted to see the clothes, and naturally, she said yes. Going through the box was bittersweet… and, I had to explain what that word means. Each piece of clothing brought back specific memories with Dave or reminded me who he was.

To me, the saddest part of all is that Lydia doesn’t have memories of Dave. She just has his clothes, his pictures, and other people’s memories. Nonetheless, I validated Lydia’s emotions and acknowledged that it was normal to feel sad, angry, or even a sense of unfairness. As she grows, so does her grief.

I offered to wash her Daddy’s clothes so she could hold them close. Just about every week, she wears her Caterpillar sweatshirt and a couple of t-shirts honoring Dave. She quickly asked if she could wear them around the house or to sleep in some of them. Sure!

I started a load of laundry, never thinking I would wash those items again… Then, I coached Lydia how to handle those difficult emotions.

I explained that some people want to run away from their emotions or numb the pain in various ways. But that doesn’t really take care of the problem, it just prolongs it.

I encouraged Lydia to do the following. We can:

  1. Draw near to God, asking Him to help us through the pain. We can tell Jesus all about it. He understands and knows exactly what we need.
  2. Share our pain with someone trustworthy. Our feelings are not the only thing, but they still are valid. Not everyone will understand, but find someone who will let you cry it out, if needed, and who won’t just tell you to get over it.
  3. Sit with the pain, as long as needed. Just let it be. Try to get to the root of the problem to understand how to deal with it appropriately.
  4. Then, find someone else you can help with the lessons you learned. Be gentle and don’t assume that everyone wants to be helped. Trust God to use your pain to bring comfort and peace where it is needed most.

Lydia and I sat on the couch for quite awhile, maybe an hour. My legs were falling asleep, as she was snuggled on my lap. It was well past bedtime when I finally turned out her light. Parents want to shield their children from pain, but there are still some situations where that’s not possible.

The next day, I gave Dave’s clean clothes to Lydia. She embraced them and took them straight to her room. She picked out the largest sweatshirt she could find and wore it the rest of the day. She even slept in it and said she had the best sleep ever. Thank You, Jesus!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and that will look dramatically different for many of us. For me and Lydia, it’s par for the course. We’ve had seven years to adjust, but then again, we’ve been adjusting for seven years! Special days are still difficult at times.

This year, people around the world are missing their loved ones who either passed from COVID or who are socially distancing to protect themselves or others. I’m so sorry.

In the struggle, remember it’s normal to feel how you feel. Let it out and deal with it in healthy ways. Pray, journal, call your loved ones, take a nap, go for a walk, etc.

Also please remember you are loved. You are not alone. We are in this together, and God is here with us. Despite all we have lost, we still have so much to be thankful for.

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God, thanks for always being there for us, in the good times and bad. Thank you we can draw near to You at any time of day, no matter how we are feeling. Please be with each of us, and wrap us in Your love and grace. Help us keep our eyes on You, not our circumstances. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you altering your plans this holiday season? What is your favorite tradition, and can you put a new spin on it? What are you most thankful for this year?

Tasks: Make a gratitude list, or write down what is going well. Be on the lookout for ways you can encourage others. You might be surprised how God uses your pain to help someone else!

Finding Grace #246

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was went really well. We had a good Zoom meeting with family on Sunday, and we also made some Asian-style dumplings with a friend. We made some extras and enjoyed them for leftovers later in the week!

Work at the VA went well, and I got to fill in and work some additional hours. I appreciated the opportunity and am glad to help my team! I also received high marks on my performance evaluation, which makes me really grateful for God’s grace!

On Friday, my college students and I enjoyed a Zoom class event with other health disciplines. Then, I spent the rest of the day (before picking up Lydia) crossing off several items on my to-do list! It felt good to catch up around the house, make several calls, and drop off items in the mail.

Today is Lydia’s birthday. I am so thankful for my girl! She has been looking forward to this day for months!! Besides opening gifts from me, she received a number of cards and gifts in the mail. I really appreciate everyone’s generosity toward her! Thank you!

Today, we went shopping (errands), saw a good friend, ate some yummy food, and talked with family on the phone and via Zoom. Tonight, we are watching the Netflix movie, “Jingle Jangle.” It’s been a good day celebrating!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Freedom Isn’t Free

A little over a year ago, I started working with Veterans. Since then, I have learned several facts and statistics about them. For example, Veterans have higher risks of suicide, diabetes, obesity, and homelessness.

Veterans come from many backgrounds and cultures. In America, we can’t always tell if someone has served in the US military by the way they dress or act. They may walk with their head held high, or they may walk with a limp. Unless, they wear a hat or t-shirt, or have a bumper sticker, or proudly tell you, that is.

However, I have started to notice certain signs. If a man is of a certain age, chances are he served in World War II, for instance. Things were different back then, but even women volunteered!

Similarly, I sometimes wonder if that homeless man on the curb with the sign is a Veteran. I also wonder if a person with an artificial arm or leg lost it in combat. Or, if the issues they face know are worse because of their time serving our country.

Perhaps not, but it does make me thankful for what I have… and for the sacrifices our brave Veterans have made.

When I think of those sacrifices, I am reminded that freedom isn’t free. In May, we remember those who have lost their lives in service to our country, but in November, we remember all who served.

Some Veterans (and current soldiers) gave life or limb, but all have given up time with family and friend, education and careers, free time, and even the ability to just relax.

Each week, I educate, listen, and counsel men and women who put their lives on hold to fulfill a greater purpose. Some were drafted/mandated, but many volunteered.

I feel privileged to be able to give back to them.

As you go about your day, think of all the activities you enjoy doing without even thinking twice about them. Besides, free speech, the right to bear arms, and the right to vote, there are many other rights and privileges we use everyday.

Do you sleep in when you get the chance? Do you enjoy your coffee while watching the sunrise? Do you take your time while reading the news or taking a shower?

Do you exercise when you feel like it, and watch movies when you don’t? Do you have time to enjoy your food and pick what you like?

Do you go to the store for groceries or a special treat just because? Do you mostly give, spend, and save on your own terms?

If so, thank a Veteran! Attend a ceremony today or write a thank you card. Our rights and privileges came at a cost… Because freedom isn’t free.

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God, thank You for giving us ultimate freedom and peace through Jesus. Today, we honor all those those who have stood for and protected our freedom in times of war and in times of peace. Lord, we appreciate You and them. Help us walk worthy of the sacrifices made on our behalf. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you a Veteran? Do you have anyone in your family who is a Veteran?

Tasks: Takes some time to ask a Veteran where they served and how. If they are willing to share more, listen and ask thoughtful questions. Consider how your responses to current events may seem to someone who has protected your rights to feel, think, and act how you wish. Don’t take freedom for granted!

Finding Grace #243

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was busy, and I kept getting my days mixed up! Work at the VA was full and fast-paced but good. And, I had some great conversations with my college students, too. I had to set a few alarms for myself so I didn’t forget anything, though! 😉

The snow we received over the last week or so has mostly melted. We had somewhat warmer temperatures, around 40+ degrees (F) these last few days. Lydia did not want to wear her coat or snow pants… she was so hot with the heatwave!

This week, Lydia and I decorated a pumpkin, which involved more drilling than carving! Today, we relaxed, and tonight, we are passing out candy to trick-or-treaters, though Lydia opted to have an indoor scavenger hunt looking for candy. 🙂

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

A Time for Healing

Sometimes God brings things full circle when we least expect it…

To start, the last gift I ever received from Dave was a gift certificate for Mother’s Day to a local massage place. I had been having a lot of neck and shoulder pain, and massage generally seemed to help. Plus, it was nice to be pampered!

Back in 2013, when I finally used the gift certificate, I burst into tears as soon as the massage therapist started. She stopped and asked me if I was okay. I explained that my husband had recently died and this massage was reminding me of him. She was very understanding and spoke comforting words to me.

Honestly, I have had noticeable back, shoulder, and neck pain for many years, noticable even in college around the time Dave and I met (in 2000). This is probably related to walking to campus every day with too many heavy books in my backpack! Perhaps, I did not focus on proper posture or prioritize self-care amid other daily life stresses… I just accepted the pain as normal for so many years.

While my pain may not be as bad as someone else’s pain, it has hindered my choice to be as active as I would like. I have gone “easy” when exercising, in order to not make the pain worse. The pain has been building over time, and I haven’t wanted to push myself.

Flash forward through many massages, yoga, chiropractic care, a new mattress, several new pillows, and various contraptions to “help” my pain in the 7.5 years since Dave died… I have spent a fair amount of money trying to find the missing link in becoming well again!

Well, I recently found ‘one more thing’ that promised to build shoulder strength. It seemed fairly simple and only takes a few minutes. By focusing on several muscles, it helps cover any other weak or torn areas. The tool is called ROTATOReliever (not an affiliate), and I figured the money-back guarantee was worth me trying it.

To my great relief, my pain has been nearly eliminated!

I can now sit up fully straight with no issues, other than if I sleep funny or start to slouch or am at my computer for a long time. I have been amazed to have long periods of no pain at all. I’m pinching myself, and wondering if it will last. I am also doing more exercises and challenging myself more.

I am still being careful, to some degree because I don’t want to blow my success! I will certainly keep up with these new habits to maintain being pain-free, but at this point, I am calling it a win. I have been praying for healing all these years!

Then, to bring it back around, this week, I was off from work on Monday. I decided to use up what remained of another massage gift certificate (from my birthday). My massage therapist is moving to a new location, so I wanted to use it up before she leaves.

I did not expect things to come full circle, but this time, she was the emotional one. She said she was nervous to open her own business, and I did my best to encourage her. I really appreciate this massage therapist’s approach to body work, and I will likely follow her to her new practice.

But, throughout the massage, I kept bracing myself for the usual pain. I kept waiting for the first twinge, but then I noticed something. I had no pain at all! This was a first for me, and it caught me by surprise and made me praise God! What a breakthrough to have little to no pain! Not only that, but I was also able to encourage someone who comforted me when I really needed it before.

Sometimes, God brings immediate, miraculous healing. But, most often, healing takes time. Changing our habits takes effort, as there are many layers to growth! Success is not just from one tool, but from many positive changes all adding up. And still at other times, He takes us to Heaven for a more complete healing. No matter how he does it, He is faithful.

Whatever season you find yourself in, remember to trust God. He is with you and for you; He will make all things right in His time. Nothing surprises God, and nothing is impossible for Him. Perhaps He wants to use you (and your joy or pain) to bless someone else. Either way, He’s got your covered with His grace!

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God, thanks for Your healing touch! Thanks for not only restoring my heart and body, but also for letting me encourage others. Help me extend Your grace to others so they may experience Your goodness, too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What life season do you find yourself in? Are you content or not? Do you have more joy or more pain? Are there any changes you can make? How can you turn the situation over to God?

Tasks: Read Ecclesiastes Chapter 3. Time does not heal all wounds, but God can and does. Trust Him!

Not So Different

On Sunday, one of my African friends came over to hang out. We had a great time sharing a meal, talking about food, clothes, shopping, church, work, and family. Then, we played games with Lydia. Our usual.

My friend complimented me on a new houseplant. I laughed and told her it was fake. These days, I don’t have much time to devote to real houseplants, though I do enjoy them!

She then told me that some of her houseplants found homes with other friends because she always kills them. Apparently, her other friends were quick to tell her she doesn’t have a green thumb. How ironic other cultures have similar nuances!

My friend often gives me updates about her other international friends. For example, one of her Middle Eastern friends had twin boys earlier this year. I have not met the babies since the family moved out of state recently.

So, on Sunday, we watched a video of the mother talking to her seven-month-old boys. They were so cute, and I could really see their personalities coming through.

It was fun listening to the mother’s language, and it made me happy the boys will grow up knowing her language first and English second. It is good they will learn about her culture and their heritage, as well.

To my surprise, I could understand the gist of what the mother was saying. Well more or less! I could not understand her exact words, of course, but I could understand her tone of voice. Every mother I know says the same things to her precious baby!

It seems she was saying how big and how strong and cute they were. One of the twins was moving his arms and legs like a choo-choo train and she mimicked those sounds.

It happens all over the world. You probably know exactly what I am talking about!

Years ago, when I was pregnant with Lydia, some people visiting from Singapore were trying to guess my baby’s gender. They had a whole set of old wives tales they were relying on to make their decision! The same ideas exist in other cultures, too!

Even further back, I once traveled to Sweden to visit some friends and still remember with exact enunciation the phrases, “Kan du klappa? Kan du vinka?” which means “Can you clap? Can you wave?” There was a baby boy and his family kept excitedly asking him to show me.

As I sat and talked with my friend on Sunday, I was reminded that our similarities outweigh our differences. We have very different hair, skin, cultures, backgrounds, and preferences, but we both love Jesus. And, God brought both of us to North Dakota!

Over the years, we have both helped each other problem solve. We have learned a ton from each other and are better off for it. In the end, we are really not so different.

There is so much going on in our world right now. I hope each of us can remember to set aside our preferences and enjoy each person for who they are. We can celebrate our differences and rejoice in our similarities. It really doesn’t matter, just treat each other well.

Each person you see is loved by God. Each person represents a part of His character and creativity. Think about that for a minute. All of that diversity within each of us shows you just how vast God is. We cannot put Him in a box or contain Him!

We need each person’s contribution; none of us is better than the other. If you sit down and share food and conversation, perhaps you’ll learn just how much you have in common! Everyone feels the need to belong. For those of us who know Jesus, we are family.

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God, thank You for creating so many different kinds of people. It shows us how wonderful You are, to think up so many special characteristics. Help us love each other well. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Which do you typically notice first, someone’s differences or similarities to you?

Tasks: As you go about your week, see if you can notice any similarities across cultures. We all laugh, enjoy selfies, like to celebrate, tell jokes, eat fruit, kiss our babies, value hard work, have bad days, become sad, etc. In the end, we are not so different!

Finding Grace #236

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a good week. I picked up a few extra hours at the VA and had a great time teaching my students. On Labor Day, I was off from the VA, but had two Zoom calls for Concordia. I was glad for the slower pace because the rest of the week was full!

On Wednesday, I mowed the lawn after work. I looked ahead and saw potential rain, so I took advantage of the timing and gorgeous weather. It was cool but calm! Mowing early in the week helped free me up later in the week. It did rain a little, but I also worked extra hours and had a few activities planned with Lydia. 

School went well for Lydia this week! She had fun learning and even was stretched as she tackled some personal fears with success. She seems to be adjusting well!

Today, a friend came over for our writer’s group. We always have fun discussing our ongoing projects. Then, Lydia and I did some cleaning and are relaxing tonight!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #233

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a great week! On Sunday, we enjoyed our usual church gathering, and I noticed some of the trees are already starting to change colors! I saw beautiful yellow leaves, but I’m not sure I’m ready for cooler weather… 🙂

On Monday, I attended orientation at the local college where I will be teaching a nutrition class! The semester starts this next week. It was good that I did because I learned a lot, met some great people, and got a little more acclimated to my department.

This week, I celebrated one year working at the VA! I can’t believe how fast this year flew. I have really enjoyed serving Veterans, and I love working with a wonderful team of dietitians and other staff! At the same time, I have been challenged and grown professionally, which positions me well to teach at the college this fall. #winning

This week, I made some exciting progress on a few projects. It can be challenging to keep everything straight, but my family was good to offer input on some key decisions. I also confirmed plans for Lydia’s fall school and daycare options. This included calls, emails, and paperwork. It was a big week, and I had to keep everything straight! It was a little complex, but, I am really thankful for God’s provision and direction.

Yesterday and Today, I have been hyper-focused on finishing up my syllabus! I mowed a couple days ago and postponed hanging out with a friend so I could keep my momentum. Earlier, Lydia helped me with some housework (teamwork makes it faster). Then, she after that, she spent much of her time playing with a friend. So, that has been helpful!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!