Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward Book!!

Surprise!! It’s finally time for my big announcement, and I am so excited!

My book, Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward, is available for purchase! The book captures a two-year period of dealing with (my late husband) Dave’s cancer and my subsequent grief. At times, I didn’t know how I would make it.

During a time filled with chemo and chaos, I nearly walked away from my faith. But, God proved Himself over and over again. Despite my doubts, He came through for us!

Yes, it is a sad story at times, but I wanted to chronicle what happened for Lydia and inspire others. We all go through rough times on this side of Heaven, and it helps knowing someone understands. All hope is not lost!

Currently, your best way to buy Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward is to order through Barnes and Noble. I spent countless hours at our local B&N bookstore writing and editing with my laptop and a cup of coffee. So, it feels incredible to see my book online!

Announcing my book TODAY is significant for several reasons.

First, Lydia’s tenth birthday is coming up, and I wanted to beat that milestone. So much happened in the first two-and-a-half years of her life, and it just seems right to keep this project contained to her first decade. That way, we can officially close that chapter and keep moving forward.

Second, we are in the beginning stages of the holidays, and I want my book to be available before all the craziness starts. For some, it may be just what they need. That said, if a friend of yours is dealing with cancer, grief, or some other trauma, perhaps get your copy first and then consider how it may affect them. The book could certainly be helpful for your friend, but I would never want to add to their emotional turmoil. In that case, maybe filter out a few nuggets of truth for them until the timing is better.

My third reason is a little more personal. Today marks twenty-five years since my dear friend, Seth, died in an accident. (Part of me feels like it was just yesterday; it doesn’t seem I should be old enough to account for twenty-five years!) So, when I saw November 17th is today, a Wednesday, it felt like God’s timing. The book does not entail Seth’s tragedy, yet in my story, I mention how that loss helped me process Dave’s death. So, in my mind, they are somewhat connected.

The fourth reason is simply that there’s no time like the present. This project was complex and took me a while to finish. I had much to learn about writing and publishing a book. Grief and being a single mom were factors, not to mention work, household duties, and various levels of motivation. But, in the end, perfect conditions don’t exist. Something always comes up, and I am just going for it!

Finally, my fifth reason is that I need to continually challenge myself! It’s risky to put myself out there, but I don’t have to be afraid. I am covered with God’s grace. He goes ahead of me and He’s right beside me simultaneously. By faith, I need to release my book and step out of the way, so He can do what He does best.

In honor of my book launch, I created a new blog PAGE! I loaded it with some key details you might want to know before ordering.

Well, that’s it. I appreciate all your ongoing support, encouragement, and prayers!

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God, thanks for all the ways You have brought me through. You are so good and faithful. Would You please use my story to help others see You at work in theirs? May this book bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Any guesses on when I started writing my book?! Will you order the black and white version or the deluxe color version?

Tasks: Grab your copy of Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward today! Read more details here. I’d love for you to tag me on Facebook @GraceandLemonade or on Instagram @natalator with a picture of you and my book. Also, please share this post on social media. Goal: Tell at least 15 of your friends! 😉

Finding Grace #296

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a really good week, busy but manageable. We had a fun time with friends during trick-or-treating. That seems like a whole month ago, though it has only been one week! Lydia dressed up like a phoenix, rising from the ashes.

I signed up Lydia for her COVID vaccine, which will be next week. Of course, it takes a while to get both shots, but she is a trooper and is on board. I’m grateful for the opportunity to add another layer of protection to our household… and her classroom.

One morning before school, Lydia had a little episode of sadness and crying; she was missing Dave. We just sat there together giving space to her emotions so they could pass. Later that day, she came home as ‘the leader of the pack,’ which is an honor given to certain students each month. They are chosen by the teachers as a reward for being good students (beyond just academics). This year, Lydia earned a sign in our front yard! She was happy and it helped make the day a little more sweet.

Today, we celebrated a special event for a friend and then Lydia went to another birthday party! It was for one of her classmates at Skate City. Thankfully, Lydia had fun and didn’t fall down too often! It was good to meet the girl’s parents, and I listened to the mom tell me about her breast cancer treatment. I will be keeping this family in prayer, and I am thankful they already know Jesus!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Notice the Joy

It’s funny how seasons come and seasons go. Sometimes it seems nothing changes; but sometimes, it seems everything has changed! Often, we just take things for granted and we don’t see anything new. We fail to notice the joy that comes with those new seasons. But, God is always at work, and I believe He is always doing something new in our lives.

Over the last few months and even over just a few short weeks, I have noticed some new things in my life. Most of them are subtle, as new habits are forming. It is good to let go of what is not serving us well anymore. One small change can lead to the next!

Architecture, Skyscraper, Urban, City, Construction

First, my hair has grown a few inches, mostly because I just hadn’t taken time to get it cut. I was busy with work and school and so many other things! But after it grew past the awkward stages, I realized I enjoyed it. I still like it short and have recently gotten a trim, but now I can put it up in a longer ponytail which can be very helpful at times!

Indeed, my morning routine is a little quicker now because I don’t have to help my hair to go under! It takes less work, and I have a few extra minutes in the morning to work on little tasks around the house. A win-win as I embrace the natural outward flip at this length!

Oddly enough, my hair makes me look different in the mirror, but I have seen even more changes internally. Growing out my hair has given me a new perspective on who I am and what I like. It has made me rethink other changes I could make. Being open-minded has helped me see potential in other areas, too!

I am all about creating solid, sustainable habits, but change can be difficult for many of us. Yet, what if we just ease into something new or just try it for a week without a major commitment? What if we challenge ourselves to think differently and trust God for something greater?

Nothing is impossible for God, but often it seems we are holding something back. It could be related to fear, laziness, or just lack of enthusiasm. But remember, the first step is the hardest, and tiny steps in the right direction are still considered movement. Use joy as a motivator because there are built-in rewards that keep us moving forward.

So, another recent change is this: I have changed my morning commute. I was taking the highway, which may be slightly faster but is also more stressful at that hour. First, the morning sun shines in my eyes for several minutes. Second, I find myself subconsciously trying to beat other cars on the road. 🙂

It doesn’t necessarily involve speeding… But, if someone pulls in front of me or is going slower than I like, it irks me. Then, I am trying to get ahold of my attitude before walking into work. It is a small thing, but still a stressor I don’t need or want. So now, I take a parallel journey through town and look forward to the drive.

It has more stoplights, but there is less traffic and we naturally have to go slower. If I leave early enough, I hit mostly green lights, which really boosts my mood! The sun is not in my face as much, but I can still enjoy the fall colors and beautiful sunrises. In fact, I have found more joy in this new route because I feel calmer and can focus.

Yesterday morning, the sunrise was bright orange and purple!

Additionally, I have been parking in the overflow area across the street from work. That way, I always have a spot and don’t have to waste time circling around the usual lot. I also save time getting on the road after work because there are only a few cars leaving at any one time (instead of 50+ cars inching along in the other parking lot). Ironically, the highway is the faster, less stressful route on the way home. And, I have been picking up Lydia five minutes earlier, which feels great!

It does help that I have also switched to a backpack instead of a purse and a lunch box for work. I can walk a little more freely and the weight is carried over by my back rather than my arms and shoulders. Keeping everything in the backpack has also helped to relieve the stress of forgetting something because I can keep things in one place!

After this change, I have incorporated other ideas such as drinking tea at night. I am usually a ‘plain jane’ with tea. I don’t like a lot of flavored options or sweeteners, so lately, just decaf green tea or decaf black tea is fine with me. The joy comes through the process of making and drinking the tea. It is more ritualistic than coffee, which is my daily habit. Another bonus has been that if I am enjoying the tea, I don’t feel the need to have a late-night snack! So, my gut feels better too.

Drinking more tea has led to other changes, too. I have several great pieces of equipment that get regular use, but from one week to the next, I don’t always rotate through them all. In the last few weeks, I have been incorporating different activities into my exercise routine. This has helped me recover faster and avoid burnout while making my goals more achievable.

There are other habit changes I have made, but it’s fun to think they all started with NOT getting a haircut… Perhaps you have made small changes due to COVID or some other circumstances. Don’t give up if you don’t see progress right away! See all that can happen in just a few short months, and let that joy bring creativity and renewed purpose!

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Father God, thanks for helping me take small steps and celebrate small wins. Help me be obedient to all You are asking me to do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is one small lifestyle change you can make this week? Does it scare you or do you feel confident?

Tasks: God gives us His power, as we change and become more like Jesus. If there is an area you are struggling in, ask Him to show you one small thing you can do differently. Then, watch it snowball and gain traction as you celebrate other wins! Check out this worship song: “New Thing” by Hillsong Young & Free

Finding Grace #295

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Wooden Bridge, Autumn, Fall, Season

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

On Monday evening we went to a friend’s house for a dinner meeting. We had a really good meal and some great conversation! I am grateful for godly friends!

Yesterday, I got my COVID booster shot at work. (I qualify because I am a healthcare worker.) I feel a little sore today and have a headache, but otherwise, I feel well. I hadn’t thought much about getting it, but I decided it was a wise idea because it’s been almost a year since I got the first shot. I am still glad I got it.

Last night, Lydia went to a “glamping” birthday party. It was so cool! A local company set it all up, with heaters, little mattresses/bedding, etc. The girls did each others’ hair, played, ate pizza, watched a movie, and slept outside in the tent. The weather was cool, but perfect for a celebration! Definitely a fun, unique experience!

Today, I did a little cleaning, cooking, and organizing while Lydia was still at the party. Then, tonight we are going to see my aunt who is nearby visiting some of her relatives. It will be great to see her!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Be Bold, Be Brave

I have a friend who recently took a step back from what she was doing to go in a new direction. Society sometimes tells us what to do or not do, but I am proud of my friend for listening to her heart and following her dream.

God can do far more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

But still, it takes guts to go against the grain!

Lake, Mountains, Banff National Park, Islet, Bank

A blessing for her and for anyone who dares to trust God for greater things:

Be bold, be brave! Remember, God is with you and for you!

He is more than able to provide for you with the riches of His grace.

All good gifts come from God. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Breakthrough is coming.

Following God’s plan is sometimes difficult… but it is always worth it.

Work as if it depends on You, and pray as if it depends on Him.

Then, receive what He has for you. He is faithful.

Breakthrough is coming.

Whatever happens, it has passed through God’s hands first.

No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

What is for you… is for you. He will give you everything you need. Trust in Him.

Breakthrough is coming.

Don’t be afraid. Do the difficult thing.

God will help you through it and redeem any pain along the way.

Have courage and be willing to try something new.

Breakthrough is coming.

Lay aside your expectations and stand in faith, knowing God’s plan is best.

It may turn out different than you thought, but He will never let you down.

Rest in Him. Nothing is impossible for Him. He’s got this.

Breakthrough is here.

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God, You are King of our hearts and the God of breakthroughs. Nothing is impossible for You! Help us trust You for greater things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Have you ever done something so big and life-changing that the only option was to trust God? Looking back, can you see His faithfulness?

Tasks: Print out this blessing and tape it to your mirror, or make your own!

Detoured Dreams

Do you remember your dreams when you wake up?

I always ask Lydia what she dreamed about, but more often than not, she can’t remember. I usually don’t recall my dreams either, but if it is really funny, crazy, or heartwarming, I am more likely to do so.

Have you ever had a dream seem so real, it feels prophetic… or later came true? I have. But, that’s not what today’s post is about. 😉

Adult, Diary, Journal, Notebook, Book

Instead, I have had a few subtle reality checks lately that piqued my interest.

What I mean is this: I received some news and random updates that made me glad God didn’t answer my dreams! In one example, I saw how I dodged a bullet. Hindsight is 20/20, right? Whew! God protects us from what we don’t know!

Then, I also learned of some details that led down a path which just didn’t suit me anymore. I have grown past that point, and perhaps it would have been a hindrance.

Of course, I am super glad my weird dreams or nightmares haven’t come true! But, I’m also grateful some of my good and pleasant dreams haven’t materialized. Yes, it can be fun to imagine all the possibilities, but that’s only a starting point.

We can dream at night or during the day, and most of us have goals and a vision of what we want our life to look like. We hope it all goes according to plan. But, God’s ways are higher than ours. His plans and dreams for us are even better (Ephesians 3:20)!

Pen, Pencil, Diary, Journal, History, Write, Book

So, if God doesn’t answer a prayer in the way we want, that’s okay. If He doesn’t give us all of our heart’s desires, we can still trust He is good. In fact, we can get excited to see what He has in store for us! It might take a while before we see it, but it will be worth the wait.

That said, don’t be afraid to dream. Get creative and set yourself up for success!

Remember: Whether it is a job or promotion or relationship or deal, if it’s not for you, you don’t want it…. or the stress that comes with it! Don’t settle for less than God’s best!

So dream, but just don’t tie yourself or your self-worth to the dream… allow for a little wiggle room so God can move. If we allow Him to work in our lives, He can sift through our desires and plant dreams for an amazing hope and a future… and bring them to pass.

What a wonderful blessing to know God is in control! While I don’t know what’s on your mind or heart today, I am 100% sure you are covered with His grace. Trust Him!

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God, You are full of surprises and You always know what is best for us. May we be grateful for detoured dreams. The best is yet to come! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you ever remember your dreams? What if all of your dreams were to come true? Would that be good or bad?

Task: Write down your dreams when you wake up. Look for any trends and nuggets of Truth. Pray and be open to God’s direction.

Finding Grace #289

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a great week, and we participated in a lot of fun events!

At work, we had two celebrations, which is really appreciated with how busy we have been lately! On one day, we had a DQ ice cream cake for a coworker’s birthday. The next day, we brought treats to say goodbye to another coworker. She is leaving to focus on some other things, but we will really miss her on our team!

I had some women from church come over for some encouragement. We had indoor s’mores and a fun conversation with multiple topics! We prayed together, too, and I am really grateful for these godly ladies!

Lydia and I did some yard work this week. While she tied her shoes, she noticed a bumblebee on the sedum. I came over and also noticed a honey bee! We watched them for several minutes, in awe!

Yesterday, a friend came to hang out before a movie night at church. While Lydia was still at school, we painted with watercolors! Neither of us has any experience, but it was fun.  I certainly won’t become a professional, but it was a relaxing right-brain activity!

Later, we drove to church to watch Inside Out. I have seen it before, but last night, I was able to pick up on more details I must’ve missed before. Specifically, Joy had to finally allow Sadness to do her thing. By acknowledging pain and sadness (or grief), we can eventually move forward with greater joy.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Bring the Light

Recently, one of the ‘can lights’ in my basement went out. No big deal, I just went to the store for a new one. Turns out, it was a little more involved than that!

This was one of four lights, the only four I hadn’t already switched over to LEDs. That’s because they were the only ones that hadn’t gone out in the eleven years I have lived here!

So, I soon realized a lot has changed! At first, I couldn’t find the right size, color, and wattage equivalent. I finally found someone to answer my questions. Still, they didn’t have exactly what I was looking for.

I wanted LEDs that were the 65-watt incandescent equivalent and could only find the 75-watt equivalent LED bulbs. I ended up buying four of them in case I decided to replace the other three, which still worked. Though, I didn’t want to toss three good lights unnecessarily.

As soon as I changed the first bulb, I was shocked. It was so bright! The rest of the room looked dim and hazy, almost like smoke. Had it always been that way and I just now realized it?

It took me a while to decide what to do. In the end, I couldn’t just leave the new light all alone, so I changed the rest, too. It’s been a few weeks, and I am finally getting used to the new lights. I think during the long winter nights, the lights will be extra appreciated!

Jesus is the Light of the World. He shines so bright and banishes all the darkness. When He is in our lives, He clears out all the hidden spaces in our hearts, too.

We have the opportunity to share the Light and Love of Jesus with people every day. What’s holding you back? Is it the fear of standing out? Is it the awkwardness of transition?

There is a common message which says, “Be the light.” We can’t really do that, however, because we are not Jesus. 🙂 But, we can bring the Light everywhere we go!

If we allow Jesus to do all He wants to do in our lives, there’s no way people can miss Him. As a friend once said to me, “We can see your light shining all the way in Illinois!”

This week, Lydia’s class discussed ways to help a friend in need. (No one specific, but just general brainstorming ideas.) Their answers ranged from making donations or other providing resources, volunteering to help with tasks, and respecting the friend. Other ideas could include smiling, praying, bringing a hot meal, writing an encouraging note, sitting with someone when they are down, or just listening without judgment.

This world can be dark at times, especially now. Let’s move past our own discomfort and share Jesus! It doesn’t take much!

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Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus! May we be a conduit of His light, love, and grace. Not just with words, but with actions, too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How can I pray for you today? Do you

Tasks: Check out the resources at Struggle Care, which is run by KC Davis, a licensed professional therapist. A friend of mine mentioned the website helped her, and it has shed some light in my life, too. Namely, taking some of the pressure off of my to-do list. 

A Good Reset

Last Saturday, right after I posted my weekly Finding Grace post about my busy week, I did something I am still trying to wrap my mind around. On my personal social media page, I posted a recap after the issue was more or less resolved:

Me, seeing my cup of coffee on the counter, ready for some milk:
Q: If my coffee is here, what did I put in the microwave? (28 seconds ago)
A: My phone!!!
Next steps: Wait a few minutes to see if it catches on fire. Open the windows to air out the house. Put the phone in the freezer to see if it will cool down enough to turn on. Send a message to friends coming from out of state (using Messenger because the phone is dead). Tell Lydia to get in the car so I can get a new phone before the store closes! Make a quick, but thoughtful, decision on the upgrade. (At 3+ years old, it was starting to show its age, anyway).
So yeah, one way to decide about getting a new phone… Nuke it in the microwave instead of your coffee.

Yes, I totally microwaved my cell phone! I’m so glad it didn’t cause a fire, and I am grateful to have the resources to get an upgrade so quickly.

I am chalking up this mistake to my mind being so busy that I wasn’t paying attention. Life was moving ‘microwave fast’ and I quickly realized I needed a mental reset! Perhaps I need to create a no-phone-in-the-kitchen boundary as well!

It is crazy how we rely on our phones, isn’t it? On Saturday, I immediately thought of how I couldn’t connect with my family as easily. And, my college friends coming all the way from Indiana could only reach me through Facebook otherwise.

So, that’s why I needed a quick solution. While I am glad so many things were stored in the ‘cloud’ I still had to set things up. In fact, I still am working on password resets, downloading certain apps, and rearranging my new phone.

Thankfully, the visit with my longtime friends was a perfect reset! These particular friends are funny and calm and gracious. I always am refreshed when they are around. They speak life into me and provide wise input when needed. I try to do the same for them.

Even though it’s been eleven years since we’ve seen each other in person, they have been encouraging us from afar. They were unable to travel to Dave’s funeral years ago, but they were determined to come when they could.

Last year COVID19 prevented them from making the trip, but this past weekend was wonderful. My friends even brought some old pictures of Dave from college! Lydia really enjoyed seeing her dad when he was younger!

I was honored by their visit and we had fun showing them around Fargo! It was fun to introduce our kids and watch them interact. Really, we were able to pick up right where we left off. It was just the slower pace I needed.

I am grateful God always knows how to minister to us, whether we are busy or relaxed. He is King over chaos, and He is a loving Father sending love and hugs through friends. Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for the gift of friendship. Thanks for helping me rest and refocus. Renew me with Your love and grace. Strengthen me in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: How has God ministered to you lately? Who can you reach out to encourage today?

Task: Listen to the song, My Jesus, by Anne Wilson.

Finding Grace #285

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week flew by! Much of the time my mind was going in several directions, and I had a little difficulty keeping everything straight! Basically, on top of a busy work week, I had a lot of meetings and people to connect with, and was getting Lydia ready for school which starts later next week. It all worked out, though!

On Monday night, I had some ladies over from church. Instead of leading a small group this year, I am coaching other small group leaders. So, in a way, I have a small group of small group leaders! We had a lot of fun, laughing and getting to know each other.

On Wednesday, I had a meeting with other small group coaches. We enjoyed tacos and dessert, along with good conversation and planning. I’m excited to see what God has in store for us this year!

This week, I finally decided to water my lawn. Actually, I had Lydia do it one night and then I joined her a couple evenings later. We each had a hose going! I am not aiming for green grass, but just trying to prevent the grass roots from dying. Ironically, we did get some rain after we watered, which I was very happy about!

Yesterday, I stayed late for work to get some paperwork done. Then, I ran a few quick errands. I made some returns and bought some new shoes. After that, I met a friend for coffee! We live in the same neighborhood, but life gets busy and we don’t run into each other often. We had a great conversation and are planning another coffee date soon!

Today, we have some college friends coming to visit for the weekend. They live several states away and we haven’t seen them since moving to Fargo eleven years ago. We are excited to host them and their kids. Lydia’s looking forward to meeting and playing with the girls! I am honored they would drive all the way to see us!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!