Tag: bravery

Posted on in Being Gracious, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Kindness, Miscellaneous, Words

A Gentle Hello

Years ago, when Dave was sick in the hospital on any given Sunday, it bothered me to sit in the church service on my own. It was a reminder of all our pain.

After he died, I had to learn a whole new way of living. Sitting alone has gotten easier with practice, and now, I don’t mind.

These days, if certain friends are there, we will sit together. Still, we don’t always coordinate our schedules between the two services, so it may be hit or miss.

A couple of weeks ago at church, I sat in my usual area and waited for the service to begin. Sometimes, I catch up with emails or texts. But generally, I look for others who may need a friendly face to sit with. Not for my sake, but to encourage them.

That Sunday, I saw a young woman sitting alone in the pew in front of me. I leaned forward and introduced myself with a gentle hello.

To my surprise, I got a gruff ‘hey’ back. I asked a few more questions about herself, including her name. (Let’s call her Anna.) Mostly one-word answers. I could tell she didn’t want to talk with me. So, I silently prayed for her and left her alone.

The service ended, and by that time, one of my friends had come to sit with me. My friend and I started talking while I kept my eye on Anna. She quickly gathered her belongings and walked away. I noticed she lingered about fifteen feet away, but I couldn’t tell if she was needing prayer up in front or wanted to talk with me.

I decided to pray for her that following week, that God would soften her heart and meet her needs. I didn’t know what was going on, but I am glad He knows exactly what we need!

Then last week, I missed church because I was working. My mother-in-law was able to take Lydia to church for me, and thankfully, I can watch the service online! 

So, this week, I started off the service by sitting alone. I texted a couple of friends, but they had gone to the other service. Before I sat down, I greeted a couple of guests behind me and explained a few things about our church. They were very friendly.

Then, as the first song began, we stood up and started to worship God. That’s when I saw Anna make her way to the pew in front of me. Before she sat down, she saw me and quickly came over asking if I was the person that greeted her two weeks ago.

Of course, I said yes and invited her to sit with me. Anna apologized for her bad attitude from before and admitted she has been on the “wrong path” and that she is trying to make better life decisions now.

Apparently, she had been grumpy with me because she didn’t really want to be in church that day! She had been wrestling with God about her choices.

It was so cool to see the change in Anna’s attitude and on her face. We talked for a few minutes and I learned more about her background. After the service ended, we talked a little more.

I mentioned how difficult it is to do the Christian life on our own. Then, I introduced her to one of my friends as they have a few things in common. I’m hoping Anna will continue to come and get more involved.

As followers of Jesus, we often want to see Him do something BIG, or we wait around for a sign overlooking the small opportunities in front of us. Sometimes, God does give us a significant responsibility or task.

But how often does He just want us to say a gentle hello, or invite someone to sit with us? A kind word, smile, or prayer can go a long way in reaching people for the Kingdom of God. Don’t underestimate the power of being friendly!

Serving others may cost more than mere acknowledgment, however, so don’t stop at hello. It might mean picking someone up for an event or taking them to get groceries. In other words, God’s love is practical.

Let’s be open to all the possibilities and see what He does through us!

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God, thanks for the ways You use us. You can move large mountains, or work through a still, small voice. Help me not overlook simple opportunities to reach people for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you have a specific seat or pew at church, or do you like to move around? Do you enjoy greeting others or minding your own business?

Task: Wherever you are today, at church, work, school, or even the mall, take a few moments to get off your phone and look around for someone to encourage. Say hello or offer a compliment. Maybe it will be the start of a new friendship!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

See A Victory

“The weapon may be formed, but it won’t prosper
When the darkness falls, it won’t prevail
‘Cause the God I serve knows only how to triumph
My God will never fail
Oh, my God will never fail

I’m gonna see a victory
I’m gonna see a victory
For the battle belongs to You, Lord”

–From “See A Victory” by Elevation Worship

This coming Friday marks seven years since Dave died. It doesn’t seem like it should already be that long, but here we are. I am so grateful for God’s faithfulness.

Lydia continues to process what Dave’s absence means for her. It is an on going development as she learns and grows. We’ve had many in-depth conversations in the last six months, in particular. Thanks for your continued prayers.

It is still bittersweet at times, but I am amazed when I think about how far God has brought us. We have certainly had our battles, but each time, God has come through for us.

Just think: God has never lost a battle. He always claims Victory!

I don’t know what life would be like if Dave were still here. He could still be sick or totally healed. But truthfully, it does me no good to think about all the ‘what ifs,’ and I don’t have time or mental space for that rabbit trail.

What I do know is this: I have seen major Victories in my life that I probably would not have noticed or achieved any other way. For instance, I started this blog and put myself ‘out there.’ I wrote a book (details soon!!!) and started a business. I have continued learning various skills and am teaching others. In the fall, I started an awesome job serving Veterans. I have grown through parenting Lydia. That’s the short list! 

If things had turned out differently, perhaps I would not have been compelled to cling to the Lord in the way I have. And, I would have continued second-guessing myself and my ability. Not anymore!

Becoming who I am now has taken time, effort, and a lot of intention. But, I am not the same person. I am stronger and more stable. I make quicker and more solid decisions, without fearing the outcomes like I used to. That doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes, just that I am more confident when I say YES and when I say NO.

Victory, for me, is choosing faith as my default, not fear.  This big Victory has lead to many smaller Victories along the way. They just keep coming!

As a result, I have much more peace internally. I don’t feel the need to prove myself or do things perfectly. I have stopped putting limits on what I can do! I am happy to be just me, knowing with Jesus, that is enough.

I have also made various lifestyle changes in recent years. I still am involved with several activities, but they are choices I make on purpose. I want to, not I ‘have’ to.

I have taken on more challenges and cool projects as my capacity has grown. We don’t think about grief every day, thankfully, so we are able to handle other things. Plus, Lydia has been able to care for many of her own needs. I still supervise and help, of course.

Lydia and I enjoy doing a lot of fun things these days. When she was little, it felt more like survival mode. She need a lot of care and I was grieving. But now, we are thriving.

For Mother’s Day, on Sunday, Lydia gave me a little book that she filled out all on her own. (Thanks to my mom for buying it and sending it to her!) A common theme was that I have taught Lydia to be brave and not give up. Amen!

Ironically, I could never show Lydia bravery or perseverance if I hadn’t had to face my worst fears. And, I couldn’t do that without Jesus. He taught me what it means to be brave, and now I have the honor of passing those lessons on.

These days, we play games, go on adventures, make food and art together, and laugh a whole lot. On Friday, we will do something fun to celebrate Dave’s life and memory. We may eat his favorite foods, play a game, or go on a walk.

I will also give Lydia a special gift in Dave’s honor. He would be so very proud of her.

Loving Jesus, and living a fun, adventurous faith-filled life… a wholehearted Victory!

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Heavenly Father, all praise and honor to YOU!! Thanks for all the Victories in my life (including many more I haven’t mentioned here!). Help me continue to trust You for greater things! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What Victories have you seen in your life this year? What would you do if you had unlimited resources and there was no way you could fail?

Tasks: Listen to “See A Victory” by Elevation Worship. Trust God and make bold moves today. We cannot lose with Jesus on our side! He has never lost a battle! Victory is His!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Wisdom, Worship

Keep It Simple, Sweetheart

This Christmas season, like many people, I am trying to stay on top of my to-do list. At times, it is a little overwhelming, and yes, I could use more sleep! 🙂

But all things considered, this year feels different.

Instead of my heart feeling heavy with grief, I’m excited and coping well. Praise God!

Perhaps all those years of intense grief have been helpful after all because I have learned the art of doing less.

This year, I’ve been doing more of what makes me glad. With so many possibilities, I’ve decided to simplify.

When possible, I’ve opted out of stressful activities that don’t add to the holiday spirit. At the same time, I’ve tried new things, such as putting up outdoor Christmas lights!

Lydia and I have been enjoying Christmas music and holiday movies, decorating our tree, and sampling yummy treats! She has played in the mounds of snow with her friends, while I’ve enjoyed coffee dates with mine.

I’ve also opened my house to a handful of people who don’t have family nearby.

We have a list of fun winter activities that we would like to do, such as sledding and seeing holiday lights. As usual, Lydia’s excitement is contagious!

Thankfully, I’ve learned to appreciate rest and don’t have crazy expectations. I know my limitations and try not to overextend myself. I’m grateful for how far God has brought me and Lydia!

With all the hustle and bustle, it could be easy to forget Jesus, the reason we are celebrating in the first place! By staying present with Him, I can enjoy the true gift He is:

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace

Friend, if you are going through a tough season of grief, let me remind you of the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart. 🙂 There is no need to “fake brave.”

Grief looks different for all of us, and each year brings unique challenges. It does improve eventually, but all those emotions need to run their course so you can keep moving forward.

For now, do what you need to do—no more and no less. Whether that means showing up or staying home, ask God to direct your path and show you His goodness.

Look for the gift of God’s grace…. Jesus!! He is a wonderful savior and friend.

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Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus. What a precious gift! Be with those who are hurting this season. Show them just how much you love them and bring them peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What are your favorite Christmas traditions?

Tasks: Do something special for someone who needs encouragement this season. Pray with them, invite them over for dinner, help them decorate (or clean!), or listen to them talk of their loved one. Even a small act of kindness can mean so much to someone who is hurting.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

Note to Self: Don’t Fake Brave

What surprises me the most about grief is both the depth of the wound and the healing it requires. Thankfully, I gave the Lord control of that long ago. His ways and thoughts are much higher than mine; I trust Him to teach me and take care of me.

On Monday morning, I called my writing coach to discuss a special project. Part of his job is to point out growth areas and things to work on. I trust his professional input!

During his critique, my writing coach mentioned, “You must’ve been in a hurry to finish this piece. It reads like you were trying to be brave.” I had unintentionally chosen a safe route, glossing over some details which might provide more meaning and context.

As we talked, he said, “You have your public life and try to be brave, but on paper you don’t need to be brave. This is where you show how you are really doing.”

Wow, I thought and tearfully scribbled a quick note to myself: Don’t fake brave.

Grammar aside, my coach pointed out a common problem. We often put on a smile to face the world and hope people don’t see our struggles. We try the ‘fake it till you make it’ approach. That might work short-term, but long-term, we don’t have to be superheroes.

In real life, just surviving a traumatic event is a Victory. You don’t have to thrive in order for it to count. Whether you run, walk, or crawl through the muck, it’s a win as long as you keep going. Don’t give up!

Also, we don’t need to compare our struggles to someone else’s successes. What I consider a Victory may differ from someone else. Bravery looks different for each of us. That’s okay!

For example, on Monday, bravery looked like tossing an old, holey shirt, even though it was a treasured gift from Dave. Even small wins are good!

Monday evening felt like a Victory, too. My entry way lights have been flickering for quite some time, and I finally got around to asking for help. There were several minor issues to address, but everything turned out better than expected.

I’ll have to buy a new light fixture, but that’s not too bad. At the same time, it was bittersweet because if Dave was here, he would have taken care of the lights on his own.

Ironically, the electricians were impressed with the breaker switches in the fuse box. I explained how Dave had labeled each one. Silently, I remembered how thoughtful he was. I felt the loss.

While the electricians were super friendly, I tried to hold my emotions together. I didn’t want to overshare with strangers! Yet when I did explained my situation, they offered to help install the new light. It was a blessing to be brave!

Yes, Monday was a great reminder of the Lord’s grace. He helped me navigate through each situation in ways that moved my heart and brought healing. Praise God!

All of us practice bravery every day in big and small ways! 

My point is: With Jesus, we don’t have to fake it. He knows our pain, weaknesses, fears and failures. Yet, He eagerly carries our burdens and never leaves us on our own. Lay down your defenses and come to Him just as you are.

With His abundant grace, the Lord provides more than we need to get through life’s troubles. As we seek Him, He comforts us with his strength and joy. He makes our path straight and smooth. That doesn’t mean life is easy…but it is better with Jesus.

Sometimes being brave is not fun or glamorous. For me, it can mean difficult decisions and occasional tears. But, instead of focusing on life’s trials, I celebrate God’s goodness and faithfulness. I can be brave (for real) because His love never fails!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good. Thank You for carrying our burdens and giving us joy. God, give us the courage to come to You and be brave. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: In what ways do you fake being brave? Do you think that is helpful or a hindrance to healing?

Tasks: Don’t fake brave. 🙂 Let Jesus shoulder your burden. Journal through your grief or other challenges. Share your heart with a trusted friend.

Posted on in Miscellaneous

Thank God for Our Soldiers

Today, we remember the sacrifices of those in the armed forces who fought on our behalf, many of whom gave their lives for ours. We celebrate them and thank them, for all they have given to protect us and preserve our nation. Family members, friends, neighbors and coworkers—just about everyone knows a soldier. Be sure to tell them ‘thank you’ today.

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When I think of my own heritage, I am proud that my grandfathers enlisted in the Army and Navy, during World War II. But, the women also contributed to the fight for freedom.

“If no one is shooting at you, it’s a good day.” –Norah Yeagle

Norah was my dad’s mom, my grandmother from England. She met my grandpa, Allison, who was an American GI, while she was a bank teller in Bristol. She lived through the blackouts and dark days of World War II. After the war ended, Norah became a war bride and bravely left all she knew to move to central Illinois, where she raised a family.

My grandmother’s wise words really put into perspective the freedom our valiant men and women have earned for us. I attend the church of my choice and can speak freely without fear of losing my life or going to prison, unlike other places around the world. I can choose where to live and how to spend my money, largely because of the courageous effort of those who have gone before me. There is no room to complain when times get tough.

On my mom’s side, my great-aunt Pat was a nurse/medic in the British Army during World War II. She raced across the battlefield to rescue wounded soldiers, with bullets whizzing past her head. Talk about courage under fire! Aunt Pat met her future husband, Uncle Harold, in a ‘foxhole’… Imagine that!

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What would’ve happened if all these brave men and women did not step up in the time of need? Where would you and I be today?

These soldiers put their lives on hold to fight for ours. And, don’t forget those currently serving and their families, who make many sacrifices for us too. Thank God for them!

We often think of bravery in times of intense action. This may include fighting in a war, taking a bullet for someone, or saving a stranger from oncoming traffic. Absolutely, yes! However, bravery comes in many forms. Courage is needed whether in the field or back at home.

Everyone has an important role.

In fact, it takes courage to have a difficult conversation and forgive someone. Courage is needed to set boundaries, know your limits, and grow as a person. It takes guts to say “Yes” to what is right, even when saying “No” to the other option brings fear, disappointment, or even judgment from others. Courage is required to face a future that looks different than expected.

Many people I know face chronic pain or debilitating disease, often putting on a brave face, showing more concern for others than themselves. It is admirable to move forward and continue living a full life despite the pain.

Often, courage requires a choice to go in another direction, to choose a difficult path instead of the easy one. It can be uncomfortable. You might have to stand alone.

But fear not. You are more than a conqueror. The battle belongs to the Lord.

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God, thank You for the courageous men and women who fought for our freedom, and for those who are still fighting for us. Thanks for Your protection and provision. Thank You for making us brave. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.