Shredding Inadequacy and Indifference

This past Sunday, I was feeling a little blah (aka unmotivated and indifferent). I was also feeling inadequate. I’m sure there are several reasons, including needing to do a lot of housework, while running short on sleep and exercise.

On Sunday, it all was weighing me down because I have struggled to find a good routine lately and have not been meeting my personal goals.

So, on the way to church, I prayed to refocus on God and asked Him to make me a blessing to others at the morning service. Then, I heard a song that spoke to what I was feeling. Every moment can be used to worship God no matter what we are feeling.

Sad, bad, mad, glad, or blah…take it to Jesus!

Ironically, that day the pastor’s sermon was similar. The message was about reclaiming our soul (our mind, will, and emotions) from the world’s influences. We can easily get drained or lose sight of who we are in Christ if we don’t keep things in check.

I felt convicted that I need to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s nudgeshumbling in a good way. I was also challenged because often I get stuck in a cycle of performance. Sometimes, I try to reach goals on my own, forgetting to rely on Jesus and what really matters.

It’s not all just paying bills, dishes, laundry, parenting and work. For me, it can also include too much social media times and games, or even too much reading. These activities are fine by themselves, but can be major distractions at times.

Quite possibly, my biggest soul killer can be too much thinking (daydreaming, problem solving, planning, or worrying about things I can’t control). I happen to enjoy thinking quite a bit, but want to make sure my thoughts are God-centered and not self-centered or fear-promoting.

On Monday, Lydia and I took my paper shredder to an office store. Random, I know, but mine was jammed—and had been for at least a month or two. (Yes, I also have been ignoring my to-be-shredded pile for far too long!) With a little nudge from God, I finally decided to ask for help with it.

Well, my shredder was beyond repair so I opted to buy a new one. I didn’t really want to spend more money, as I had recently been to that same store three other times (including for school and office supplies).

To my surprise, I found a floor model that was a major upgrade from my old shredder for about 75% off the original cost. This model was about the same cost as the tiniest shredder on the shelf. And, it was so big it took up the almost the entire cart!

In that moment, I felt God’s grace and love because He knew just what I needed. I had wanted a bigger shredder so I don’t have to empty the other one as fast. But I hadn’t planned to buy one because of the cost.

Thus, it felt like a blessing to get such a deal on this giant new shredder—like God hand-picked it for me! I’m grateful I didn’t miss what He wanted to do for me. Acknowledging God’s presence encouraged me and reenergized me!

Even something as trivial as a paper shredder can be a tool God uses to draw us closer to Him. It also felt like a positive step in tackling my messy office floor! Quite a few unruly piles of paper have accumulated over time!

Later, in another moment of brave humility (is that a thing?), I felt motivated to ask a friend for help. I need some accountability! She gladly agreed to come help me go through some boxes and clutter that have also been weighing me down.

Soon, we’ll chat and catch up as she helps me sort through shelves and stuff I have been putting off instead of putting away… Cleaning and organizing is better with friends, right?!

I’m grateful that God meets us where we are…mess and all.

**********

God, thanks for not giving up on me! Thanks for making me new from the inside out. May my heart and life bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are ways that you take care of yourself (your soul)? How do you let God take care of you?

Tasks: Look for ways to revitalize your walk with Jesus. Look for Him in ordinary moments. Perhaps He has a surprise for you as you draw closer to Him!

 

2 thoughts on “Shredding Inadequacy and Indifference

  1. It may seem silly, but I especially feel loved by God when he does little favors for me that no one else would know or care about. Like providing a coupon for something I needed at the store, or waiting until I’ve gotten in my car before letting the rain come down on a cloudy day, or having a good hair day when I don’t feel great on the inside. They are meaningful because they show me that He is concerned about and involved in every little detail of my life.

  2. Natalie, I just loved this post. Good timing as I am feeling many of the same things–worried about “performing” and getting everything done instead of focusing on what God needs me to do and how HE can help me. Sigh, we are slow learners, but look at the entire Old Testament–people’s stubbornness lead us to the NEW Testament and Jesus’ forever love for us. I am so happy, too, that He meets us in our mess, and even WANTS to meet us there. We did a prayer study last session in my Bible Study. The instructor told us that OUR MESS is what we should be bringing to God, not trying to go around it while we try to do better.

    You are an super inspiration to me, dear niece. So smart and wise even in your youth–you always were! So good to see you and lovely Lydia. Hope we can be together again before 3 years go by!!

    Love and hugs to you both, Aunt Maggie

Leave a Reply