I love how God always prompts us to move out of our comfort zone. He often guides us by placing several “markers” around us. For me, this most noticeable when sermons, songs, conversations, and circumstances all line up.
Being a mom also has a way of bringing up certain topics! It is important for me to set a good example for Lydia, so I can coach her through her own issues.
God’s timing and Lydia’s questions about friendship got me thinking!
Good relationships take time to cultivate. Friendships are an investment.
Over time, I’ve learned to take responsibility to preserve my friendships if I value them.
Then again, not every relationship needs to be salvaged. This can be especially difficult when feelings have been hurt and the other person doesn’t seem to care. Sometimes growth means growing apart instead of closer together. And that’s okay.
We live. We learn. We move on.
However, as long as it is up to me (Romans 12:18), I need to do everything God is asking me to do when things go wrong. I can forgive, even if the other person does not apologize.
Besides, forgiveness is not really about the other person. It sets me free and makes me right with God. Then, I can move forward with peace. Thank You, Jesus.
The true test of a good friend is that they point me to Jesus and bring out my best traits. They pray for me, call me out, and lift me higher. I do the same for them.
We won’t always agree, but we will allow for each other’s differences. We will give each other the benefit of the doubt (instead of presuming the worst).
There will be both give and take in a healthy relationship. If it is a good fit, it will stand under pressure. But, I may need to prayerfully reconsider how close someone is (or should be) if it is always a one-sided relationship.
Thankfully, I can follow Jesus’ example. He did the right thing, even when it cost Him greatly. He made the first step while we were still unaware of the problem (Romans 5:8).
I can also take the first steps of obedience, even if what happened isn’t my fault or my problem. I can extend grace, even when it feels unfair. Grace, by definition, is undeserved.
If I want to be like Jesus and live for Him, I have to be willing to go the extra mile and turn the other cheek. Ultimately, it’s not about me, but what God is doing through me.
Similarly, I don’t have to let someone’s stubbornness harden my heart, too. I don’t have to accept their behavior or abandon my convictions, but I can always be gracious.
In fact, the person may never change… but I can keep praying for them anyway.
Reaching out may mean calling or sending a card to let someone know I care. It could mean inviting them over to hang out, but that may not always be possible. In some cases, the best thing I can do is give the person space. Often, time and distance bring clarity.
Of course, each decision requires a certain measure of prayer and wisdom. Indeed, it can be challenging to be supportive yet not get sucked into someone else’s drama! A true friend will show up and be willing to have difficult conversations.
As long as I set solid boundaries, I am able to let God direct my path, knowing He will bring the right people in my life. And while it is sad when people choose to leave, I can continue being kind and trust God will be good to them as well. He loves us all so much!
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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your unconditional love. Help me love people like You do, with hope, grace, and perseverance. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Is there a relationship in your life that needs a little extra TLC? How is God leading you? Is there something specific you should do to reach out?
Tasks: Listen to the song, “Love Moved First,” by Casting Crowns.
I like your point about growing in friendships sometimes mean growing separately rather than together. I’ve had plenty of friendships that were appropriate for the season of life that I was going through at the time (college roommates, work friends, neighbors, etc), but when that season ended, so did our closeness. We don’t invest the same amount of time and effort into the friendship now, but we can still be friendly if we see each other in person or online.