It’s that time of year again. The holidays.
While this season is a time of celebration for most people, grief can make it particularly tough. When we miss loved ones (or are working through other losses), every day can be a struggle. It can be difficult to focus when the holiday season moves so fast.
If you’re dealing with grief this year, whether your loss is fresh or not, it still hurts. From special events to favorite songs or foods…nothing is the same anymore.
This is my seventh holiday season without my late husband, Dave. Each year has been so different, but thankfully, I have learned to keep an open mind and to keep it simple.
I have also learned to lay aside most expectations during this time. I don’t feel the need to attend every party. I don’t feel like I have to fake brave or fake holiday cheer. That doesn’t mean other people should have to feel how I do, but my feelings have a place too.
I always recommend talking about how you are feeling. Telling stories about loved ones we are missing honors them and can bring healing. A trusted friend can provide extra support and encouragement. Having someone listen without judgment is a true gift!
Similarly, serving others can also provide a way to shift our focus. As we meet the needs around us, we will see the beauty and joy God provides for us and through us.
The holiday season also includes Lydia’s birthday, Dave’s birthday, and our anniversary. So, each year is a toss-up on if/how I decorate, travel, or make certain festive foods…
There is freedom in playing it all by ear and not feeling pressure to figure it all out.
This year feels much better so far, but I am still taking each day as it comes. So far, I have watched Christmas movies, put up our tree, and have made special treats with Lydia!
I also have paid for snow removal services to ease the burden a little.
It won’t happen overnight, but the pain does feel better in time. Just stay close to Jesus and honor where you are right now. It will be alright.
Recently, I have found it helpful to review just how far God has brought me. While He continues to write your story, I pray you will find encouragement in these throwback posts:
Hope and Healing for the Holidays
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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your grace and faithfulness! You are so good. Help me lean on You today and always. Bring peace and comfort to those who are heartbroken this season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: How are you preparing for the holidays? Are you looking forward to all the celebrations or eager for them to be over already?
Tasks: I would love to pray for you during this season, especially if you are struggling with grief and loss. You can reach me through email at: nat.grace.lemonade@gmail.com
That was a great post, Natalie. You have helped a lot of people I am sure just by being honest and talking about how YOU have learned to cope during stressful times that remind you of the void left by your dear Dave. We miss him, too.
May your Christmas time be peaceful and full of blessings for you, Lydia and the whole family.
Love, Maggie and Bud
We only got to have a few Christmases with Dave, but we miss him throughout the year.