It’s that time of year again! Lydia started school this week! She has been so excited for about a month. She could hardly sleep on Monday night… Tuesday, she started a new school and was happy to see her friends.
I’m proud of Lydia for all the ways she’s already grown. She’s been challenging herself to try new things and be more independent. Her dad, my late-husband, Dave, would also be so very proud.
I have been purposely relying on the Lord as we start this new season. As such, I haven’t really thought much about the bittersweet nature of our circumstances. Still, this week is one of those times when it is apparent: Dave’s not here.
Lydia’s teacher seems really sweet. She’s a first-year teacher and full of excitement, too. When we met her, I didn’t want to burst her bubble… so, I simply wrote her a short explanation about Dave on Lydia’s back to school papers.
Yesterday, after Lydia got off the bus, we went home and talked about her day over a scoop of ice cream. She had a fun day, of course, and I know she will have a great year.
To my surprise, Lydia said she was glad I didn’t mention Dave to her teacher in person. Specifically, she said, “I’m glad you didn’t cry like you did last year.” (and the year before…) I might have embarrassed her previously!
Truthfully, I’m happy Lydia seems unaffected, but it makes me slightly sad. I have tried to ensure that she knows who Dave was and that he loved her very much. I want her to be able to talk about him whenever she feels the need. I want her to be okay with it.
But instead of feeling sorry for myself (and Lydia), I decided to count my blessings!
First, I’m grateful for Lydia! She’s always a bright spot and has kept me moving forward. I love to coach her and watch her grow. I don’t know where I’d be without her!
I’m grateful Lydia and I can have honest, heartfelt conversations about tough topics. We have had many ups and downs, which has made it interesting!
I’m also grateful Lydia is so much like Dave. She doesn’t overthink things like I do! She is pragmatic like Dave and has a good perspective. Though, she is like me in lots of other ways.
I’m grateful for how well Dave set us up. Because of his planning and God’s provision, Lydia and I are in a good position. I have no reason to complain!
I’m extremely grateful that each year, we’ve reached new levels of healing. We think of and talk about Dave often, but we are still living a full life in spite of our loss(es).
I’m grateful for so many things, actually. But most of all, I’m grateful that God’s still holding us together. He has brought us this far and we are doing well.
I can trust Him with confidence. He’s got this!
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Heavenly Father, You are so good! Thanks for taking such great care of us. Open our eyes to each of Your blessings and help us trust You more in this new season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Do you find yourself in a new season of life? Have you been expecting it or did it take you by surprise?
Tasks: Listen to this song, “Counting Every Blessing,” by Rend Collective! It’s so good!
That is one of my new favorite songs! It always gets me in the right perspective when I hear it. Even though I am tempted to dwell on things that didn’t turn out the way I wanted or thought, I still have so much to be grateful for, and maybe later I will even be grateful that things didn’t turn out like I planned.