When my siblings and I were little, whenever we were mean to each other, our parents would make us apologize, ask for forgiveness, and then give each other a hug.
Did your parents do the same with you?
I practice something similar with Lydia, but since she is my only child, we often do this together. Yes, I have to model it if I want her to understand what to do!
Lydia also keeps me accountable in other ways, such as when I am driving.
“Grrr! Nice turn signal, Buddy!” Or, I may say some other variation of that. 😉
Then, Lydia will tell me, “Mom, you know they can’t hear you.”
“Thanks, Lydia. I’m just frustrated. They are driving really slow and not using their signals.” Or, maybe they pulled out in front of me, cutting me off. You get the idea.
Sometimes, I honk at the other car, too, though that doesn’t happen as often!
Recently, someone cut across traffic into my lane without any signals, and then moved slowly ahead. But, then I heard Lydia’s gentle reminder and calmed down. We were safe and… maybe they were lost. I took the cue to enjoy the slower pace and pray.
Soon this thought entered my mind: What if someday in Heaven, we each have to track down every person we hurt or offended… then apologize and ask them to forgive us?!
That includes every word, thought, or action. Even if they were unaware of what happened. That would cover yelling at other drivers, gossiping about other people, our written words, or even turning the odds in our favor instead of benefitting someone else.
Imagine walking up to someone and saying, “Um, you don’t know me, but I owe you an apology. I’m sorry I said those things about you…”
I’m sure several people would be “eating crow!”
Our words are so important. They have creative or destructive power.
This week, I fielded a crazy trolling comment on social media. The person didn’t really want to discuss or learn anyting. He just wanted to spout off angry sentiments that had nothing to do with my original, encouraging post.
The man kept implying that my life is all ‘hearts and flowers,’ as if I don’t have much depth or the experience to understand all he was talking about. Ironically, he said, “I might hurt your feelings, but…” not even realizing that he was justifying his own hurtful actions.
Yet, instead of becoming offended or escalating the issues, I simply diffused them. I knew it was useless to chat with a complete stranger online. The best thing I could do was pray for him. Plus, I was conscious of the impact of my words, even if he was not!
To be clear, I have not read anything in the Bible that says we will someday have to apologize to one another for our hurtful or careless words. Not that we shouldn’t apologize, rather because of Jesus’ death and blood, we are forgiven and God doesn’t punish us.
However, Proverbs 18:21 does point out that Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. We are accountable to God, and He will reward us for every good deed someday. So, I want my focus to be on doing things that honor Him.
Today, let’s pick our battles. Know when to speak up and when to remain silent. We don’t need to have the last word, but we can always choose to be godly. Let’s tame our tongues!
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God, You are so gracious. Thanks for Your forgiveness even before we blow it. Put a guard over our mouths and help us tame our tongues. May all we say and do bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Question: Have you been building others up or tearing them down with your words?
Tasks: Read James 3:1-12. Pray about your words and repent/apologize if needed.
