The Heart of the Matter

The week before she died, Lydia and I visited Mom and Dad in Florida. I’ll be forever grateful to the Lord for those four days together. One day, in a brief moment of reflection, Mom mentioned how each of her kids is like her in certain ways.

Her words felt somewhat like a blessing, so I committed them to memory: Mom looked at me and said, “Livi, is bold and strong, but kind. Patrick, he’s got my sense of humor. Now, Micah is the most like me. Not much gets in his way. But you, you have my heart.”

It is cool to see how my parents’ traits are spread across each of us. We all love learning and are uniquely creative. We all rise to the occasion and use our strengths to help people. Let me explain… I’m the second oldest, but I’ll write about myself last.

To start, the picture above is one of my favorites. It was taken right before Dave and I (right) moved to Fargo in 2010. We were so young, lol! Up top is Patrick, then Olivia, and Micah, next to me.

Olivia is the firstborn and a great leader. Livi always went before us and prepared the way. Even now, she can pull the ‘big sister’ card, and we all fall in line. She also didn’t balk too much when I tagged along. She has always been gracious and patient with me!

Coming in third, Patrick is so funny. He clearly has my mom’s quick wit and way with words. Pat is full of one-liners and movie quotes. Pat is super smart but humble. He can be serious and deep, but we all appreciate his lighthearted joy. 

My youngest brother, Micah, has the best mix of Mom’s fire and Dad’s drive. As a classic strong-willed child, he most certainly required the most discipline—perhaps more than the three of us older kids combined! Yet, this has served him well, as he is very responsible, playful, and a good friend. I love seeing how God has matured Micah over time.

I am perhaps Mom and Dad’s most compliant one on the surface. Cheerful, quiet, and patient, I’m go-with-the-flow… more cerebral, like Dad. However, internally, I can also be equally stubborn and “particular.” I want to do what is right and will stand on principle! As a child, I was fairly emotional, but I learned to hide my feelings at times. Somehow, I thought showing emotions was a weakness, and I did not fully realize the error until years later when God went to war against all my fears.

Through my grief journey, Mom was impressed by my resilience. Our weaknesses can become great strengths if we let God work in our lives. In my case, I dug deep and clung to Jesus as He remade me! During this time, He graciously showed Mom and me some problems in understanding each other. Our differences were getting the best of us.

God challenged us to get to the heart of the matter. Moving past our annoyances and personality quirks, we soon discovered that we shared the same passion for those in need! Our hearts were one regarding compassion and serving others. We might go about doing things differently, but we often arrived at the same conclusions! Isn’t God good?!

Mom was always quick to tell us how proud she was of us. In the same way, make sure you tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them. Spend time together and challenge each other to grow. Focus on the good, and don’t take your time for granted.

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Father God, thanks for all Your blessings. Thanks for challenging us and infusing our weaknesses with Your strength. Give us wisdom and courage as we share Your heart with the World. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you more like your mom or your dad… Or, are you a really good blend of their traits? How do you resolve conflicts with others who are different than you?

Tasks: Listen to this song. Thank God for His blessings and favor!

Finding Grace #469

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.
I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!
Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!
This week was bittersweet, a mix of difficulty and blessing. As you may know, my mom died last weekend, a couple of hours after I posted my weekly recap.
So, the week was spent trying to get many things in order! Sunday and Monday were spent packing and planning, contacting people who loved Mom. I also worked a half day to tie up some loose ends. Sometimes, those tasks are helpful when grieving because they give your mind something to focus on. In terms of packing, we essentially threw in the same items from last week and a few more outfits.
On Tuesday morning, we flew to Florida again. This time, we had an early flight and two layovers. Thankfully, we arrived safe and sound and could continue helping Dad plan Mom’s services. It was soothing to go through pictures and remember how much fun we had with Mom. God has come through for us in so many ways.
This week, family and friends from several states gathered together in honor of my Mom. And, today, we had her memorial service at my parents’ local church. They are a very loving group, and it felt good to be amongst those who knew my parents well, even if just for a short while.
Thanks again for all the love and support. I appreciate your continued prayers, especially for my dad, Tom. Life is short, just a vapor, really. Please get to know Jesus and live for Him. And, hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight.
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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!
There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Always Grateful

Recently, I heard a sermon about not being anxious. The message covered Matthew 6:31-34. It was a great message in and of itself, but as I took notes, the pastor’s opening note struck me. He mentioned the well-known Bible commentator Matthew Henry, who lived in England in the late 1600s to early 1700s. What I found so interesting was Mr. Henry’s reaction to being robbed!

He knew he should “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). So, after some reflection, he wrote in his diary, “Let me be thankful. First, I was never robbed before. Second, although they took my purse, they didn’t take my life. Third, although they took my all, it was not much. Fourth, let me be thankful because it was I who was robbed and not I who did the robbing.”

Isn’t that incredible?! Most of us would not walk away from that situation showing gratitude. Instead, we might be angry and complain about the risk or inconvenience. We might start to worry or be afraid of it happening again. I’m grateful we can turn our worries into prayers!

Free Forest Trees photo and picture

I usually think of myself as someone who can find the good in difficult situations, choosing to praise God and look on the bright side. “It could always be worse…” Since learning about Matthew Henry, I have been thinking through common situations I’ve been in and looking ahead to how I will deal with them.

When I am driving in a blizzard, I’ll be glad for a car with all-wheel drive. I will be thankful for the snow plows, even if I get stuck behind them. I’ll be grateful that some people could stay home so there are fewer cars on the road. I will praise God for His protection. He leads me when I cannot see!

When I get a speeding ticket, even if I don’t think I was wrong (ahem): I’ll be grateful for laws that protect us and glad that God is just. I will be thankful for His grace all the other times… I will also be grateful that He doesn’t always give me what I deserve (mercy).

When I have a delayed layover flight, I will be glad for the layover because I won’t have to rush. I might have time to walk around the airport or make some calls. I will rest and not have to worry, trusting in God’s perfect timing and plan.

When people mock me or misunderstand me, I will remember that God Almighty is my defender. He is the Truth and covers me with His grace. I will be grateful that He knows me and loves me dearly. He will make it right and set the record straight in due time.

Free Forest Nature photo and picture

When I am sick, I will praise God for being my healer. I will be grateful for modern medicine and the chance to rest. I will pay attention to my body and ensure I am not running myself ragged.

When things don’t go my way or cause me to be late or inconvenienced, I will remember all the times my plans did go well. I will be thankful for the detours, knowing God is still at work around me.

When I feel I am a day late or a dollar short, I will be grateful this does not happen often. I will praise God for His provision. I’ll remind myself that with Jesus, I am enough. I will be thankful for the reminder to lean on Him. I will be glad for the wisdom gained to prevent it from happening again.

When I am sad or grieving, I will be grateful for the time together, the love we shared, and the memories. I will choose to see God’s heart and trust Him. I will look forward to our eternal hope in Jesus. This is not the end!

These are just some ways to be thankful, but I am sure you can think of more! God is so worthy of our praise. Let’s stop grumbling and complaining and lay down our pride in gratitude for all He has done! I’ll go first! 😉

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God, thanks for Your mercy and grace in all circumstances. Thanks that You turn everything into something for Your Glory and our good. Put a guard over our mouths, as we seek You first with gratitude. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Using Matthew Henry’s approach, how can you be grateful today? How does gratitude in the Lord decrease your anxiety, worry, and fear?

Tasks: Write down all you are thankful for in a journal. Review how God has turned bad things for the good. Soon, you will see how your mood changes amid trials!

Dealing with Detours

Last week, I had a bit of a detour on my drive to work. I was in my own thoughts and minding my own business 😉 when a semi pulled out into the passing lane where I was.

So, there were vehicles in each of the three lanes ahead of me. At that moment, I mistook where I was and missed my exit! I started to worry about being late, but then I decided to turn around at an upcoming exit. Luckily, there was one closer than the exit I was thinking of.

I recognized it from a couple of work trips last year, but I couldn’t quite recall how to get to work. At a stop light, I quickly entered the VA into my navigation. Whew!

I was the third vehicle traveling on that two-way road. It got a little confusing at one point because one car turned, and the other started to veer off like they were turning in the other direction. I kept going straight according to the GPS when that car suddenly came back into my lane. Praise God, I saw them, and we avoided a collision.

A few minutes later, I arrived and found a parking space. It took me longer that day, but I made it on time. Thankfully, I usually leave a few minutes early!

Free Clouds Mountains photo and picture

Yesterday, I talked with a coworker about her life story as we worked together on a project. She had quite a few losses and many ups and downs. But she was grateful for how God had brought her through it all.

Something she said stuck with me: We may have a vision, but God has re-vision. We may have a plan, but God takes it and makes it what He wants it to be.

Detours are not really a matter of IF, but WHEN.  Sometimes we can see them coming, but most often, they surprise us. What do you do when you then?

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

When a life detour comes, you may wonder how you got there and what happened. But you don’t have to worry or live in fear. This detour is not the end; it is merely a side trip. Perhaps it is totally unexpected, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is bad.

God is with you in the confusion. Rest in His love.

Today, if you are in the middle of a detour, take delight in the Lord. When you don’t see the path, praise Him and trust Him to lead you. Look for God’s grace and goodness along the way. Have a good attitude and trust Him to do what is best for you!

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God, thanks for all the good things You do for us. Thanks for leading us through the twists and turns of life. Help us to trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When did you last have a real detour in life? How did it turn out? What did you learn about yourself and God?

Task: When you find yourself in the middle of a detour, delight in what God is doing and where He is taking you. Read this throwback from 2018!

Jehovah Jireh, My Provider

“Jehovah Jireh, My Provider, His grace is sufficient for me, for me, for me…”

This is just one of the songs that’s been running through my mind lately.

It is a good reminder, amid a world of uncertainty that God is reliable. His grace covers me! He does not sleep nor slumber. He has never lost a battle. He is always victorious! He loves me, He is for me, He protects me, He brings me peace, and yes, He provides for me!

Hebrews 13:8, says, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” God is unchanging, always full of grace and truth. He is not surprised by anything.

One of my favorite verses is Ephesians 2:10 (NIV), which says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Free Winter Pine Tree photo and picture

All I have to do is trust in Jesus, and do what He says. He has a good plan for me, and I just need to walk it out. Everything I need is in Him.

What is for me, is for me. If it is in God’s plan for me, nothing can stop it (except my own lack of faith). As long as I seek Him first, it will all work out. Looking back, some of our greatest trials bring our greatest triumphs!

Remember, God is not only your Provider, He is your Source. He has ways of providing for you that you don’t even know! As Dennis Rainey once said, “He owns the cattle on a thousand hills… and He owns the hills, too.”

Isaiah 26:3 (ESV) says,You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You,
because he trusts in You.” If you need peace today, think about the Lord. Meditate on Jesus’ sacrificial love. Consider His goodness toward you. Remember His faithfulness and all the ways He has come through for you in the past!

So, instead of chasing chaos today, remember God’s goodness and mercy are chasing you! His grace is sufficient for all you are going through.

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Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus! Thanks for giving us all we need to live a godly life. You are so good and faithful. Help us trust You to provide for us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you an avid news reader or not? Do you notice how it affects your sense of peace and security? What are the positives? What are the negatives?

Task: Praise God for all the ways He provides for you! If something is causing fear or anxiety, cut it out so you can focus on the Truth of God’s love. There is no fear in love.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

I have written a lot about choosing faith over fear and moving forward despite obstacles that inevitably arise. But what does that look like? 

Recently, I had a decision to make but was waffling a bit, thinking about the pros and cons. I am at peace now and have taken the first step. But, to get me there, it took prayer, research, and discussion. However, the biggest thing for me was recognizing fear in the background. Yes, it is always a factor, even still!

I quickly saw that the right decision was one that included faith. Faith is not about seeing the answer but the vision of what is possible. Fear and uncertainty cloud our sight and always like to hold us back!

Free Mountain Rock photo and picture

On Sunday, my church’s worship session helped me focus on God. A lot of this blog post came to me then, so I raced home to put down my thoughts. It has evolved a little, but here’s what I wrote on the back of my church notes! 🙂

When you are between a rock and a hard place, lean into the Rock. God is our refuge. He is safe and secure, solid… but don’t try to control Him or restrict His power.

Nothing is impossible for God. Believe He wants to do big things. Take a stand. Be bold and step out in faith! Do the brave thing. Keep an open heart and mind. Keep hope alive.

Be humble and trust that God knows all the details. Give Him the glory for doing what only He can do! He is the “Way Maker, Promise Keeper, Light in the Darkness.”

Free Landscape Cape photo and picture

As I move forward, I need these reminders from time to time. I’m grateful God is there to help us make good choices. I hope this encourages you to make faith-filled decisions today. The alternative, fear, is a miserable way to live!

If you have put your faith in Jesus, you have personal access to the God of the Universe. He is with you and for you! You are covered with grace and forgiveness.  You are loved beyond measure. God has chosen you for His infinite purposes!

So, don’t try to limit God. Give Him the space to move and see what He does for you! His power cannot be contained. All He does is GOOD. Nothing can stand against Him!

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God, thanks for always coming through for us. Give us wisdom and help us make faith-filled decisions. May we honor You in all we do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you like to make decisions? Do you have a hard time trusting God?

Task: As you make decisions, weigh out the pros and cons. Ask for input from those in your inner circle. Choose wisely, and most of all, don’t let fear or uncertainty hold you back. The right choices come with peace, even when you can’t see how all the details fit into place!

Pain Has A Purpose

Lately, I’ve seen many people dealing with challenging circumstances, quite a few of which have worsened in recent months. Whether someone’s pain is related to financial health, physical health, mental health, consequences of someone’s actions, grief or loss, or something else, the emotions are very real.

When life throws you a curveball, how do you respond?

Undoubtedly, we’ve all wondered why bad things happen to good people. I covered much of this in my book, based on my own experiential understanding of pain. But it has been a while since I talked about it here. Each of us handles pain a little differently, although there are probably some broad similarities, too.

The world sees pain as proof that God doesn’t exist. “If God really loved me, why we would He let that happen?” The devil uses pain to make us believe that God doesn’t care, that He has abandoned us. He twists God’s character and lies to us, sometimes leading us toward a sinful response when we mistrust God.

Free Landscape Winter photo and picture
Yet, pain is a tool God uses to get our attention and to teach us. As C.S. Lewis wrote, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” from The Problem of Pain, chapter 6

In reality, it’s good for our faith to be tested sometimes. We find out who or what we’ve been relying on. Anything less than Jesus is going to fail. Let Him refine you.

We have small tests of faith daily. If I sit in a chair, there’s a fleeting moment that I have to trust it to hold me! We trust total strangers, such as airplane pilots, firefighters, and even garbagemen, to do their jobs and come through for us. But, we can struggle to trust God, who created us and loves us so much.

It is much easier for me these days to trust God because I have put Him to the test. But, that doesn’t mean I never face another challenge. I will face trials as long as I am here on this lovely planet. Jesus reminded us of that, but He also reminded us He is always with us. That’s a promise! 

Free Mountains Mountain Peaks photo and picture
Pain and trials are often linked. We may not understand the purpose until much later. Nonetheless, I heard an interesting perspective this week that I am still thinking about: It may feel like God is picking on us, but really, He is picking us. There is a big difference!

We see this in full force when reading the book of Job and other books of the Bible. God had a special purpose for Job and his pain. It brought Him glory in the end. And, God ended up blessing him with much more than he had before. God’s blessing is not always financial, and I am happy to let Him choose what is best!

Ultimately, we can see pain as an opportunity to grow and reflect God’s character. So, instead of grumbling and complaining, we can choose to draw close and worship Him. We are more than conquerors in Jesus!

Through trials, we see and learn new things about ourselves and God. It takes maturity to see God’s goodness in the pain. Yet, we cannot always have only goodness – that’s not real life! As we lean on God, we remember He is Supreme and reigns over ALL, the good and the bad.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)

We can trust God and lean on Him as our Heavenly Father. His joy is your strength! He is faithful and true. He will never let us down!

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Father God, thanks for being with us in our pain and trials. Help us see your purposes in our pain. Help us trust You more and bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen 

Questions: What is your gut reaction to pain and trials? Is it fear and worry, or prayer and praise?

Tasks: When painful trials come, dig in deep. Draw close to God through prayer, worship, and reading His word. Trust Him to come through for you!

Shopping Our Shelves

Here we are a week into the new year. How are you doing?!

This year, I am trying something a little different. Well, I have been meaning to do it for awhile, but just decided to go for it now, thanks to a little godly conviction. 😉

“Godliness with contentment is great gain.” — 1 Timothy 6:6

I will probably never be a minimalist, as I have many interests and like to have options! Yet, the reality is that I have plenty of stuff, possibly bordering on too much. Ahem.

Over time, I have realized it is much easier to organize my stuff if there is less of it. I don’t need more hangers or baskets; I need to use what I have and be content. Having stuff is not bad, but I want to use my resources, not just collect them. Trying to maintain “all the stuff” takes time and mental effort, so in this case, less is more.

Last week, Lydia and I spent a little time organizing around the house. Here’s the problem: I like trying new things but don’t always go through them quickly enough. I might buy a few extras to save money (buy one, get one!) and then don’t have room to store them. So, things tend to accumulate or get wasted. On top of that, sometimes I forget what’s in my pantry… so I may buy things again. (Now you know why this blog is about grace, not homemaking!)

So, this year, we are challenging ourselves to “SOS” or “shop our shelves” (or stockpiles?!) before buying more. That applies to our food, toiletries, and, yes, even my books! If there is something we don’t truly need or won’t use, we will donate it to others. The main goal is to check our storage first and see if we can make do.

Hopefully, we’ll save a little money since I have already paid for the items on my shelves. I have already paid some bills and bought gas for my car, though it feels good to save time not going to the store or shopping online. I’m running low on milk and Q-tips, and they don’t have great substitutes. Still, I’ll likely hold off a little longer and start a list.

While my budgeting has been more manageable, it’s not about the money but the principle. I’m seeing God’s provision in a new way and creating space for Him to move in my life. We cannot experience His goodness without putting our faith in Him!

We’ll have to be creative as our experiment progresses and we run out of our favorites. However, I probably already have a perfectly good swap in storage. That said, we don’t want to leave ALL the beans for the end! So far, we have been using them for dips, salads, burritos, and chili.

Ultimately, God doesn’t want our stuff; He wants our hearts. I don’t know how long the experiment will last, but I am excited to see God move in our hearts. I feel grateful for His provision. It has been freeing not to be focused on “getting” and just relaxing and using what we already have. I’ll keep you posted!

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God, thanks for all You do to provide for me! All I have is from You and belongs to You. Help me be a good and wise steward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have any big plans for the new year?

Task: Watch Madame Blueberry by VeggieTales and pray about your next steps.

Don’t Settle for a Piece of Peace

Christmastime is here again! This year, I feel pretty good about the season. I am staying in the moment and not looking too far ahead.

Lydia and I have various holiday plans, but overall, this year has been a practice of stepping back and doing less. That feels like a wise game plan in a season of mixed grief and joy. Thankfully, I can handle it better each year!

On Sunday, one of our pastors started Advent with a sermon on peace. His mom died this past summer, so I know he is sad and missing her. His family celebrations will look different this year, and I appreciated him sharing his heart.

The pastor’s main point was that we can’t have true peace without Jesus, the Prince of Peace. He encouraged us to go all-in with Jesus and not just accept ‘a piece of His peace.’

Jesus came as a tiny, vulnerable baby during a time known as Pax Romana, which was a military-and-government-forced peace. Yet, true peace cannot be coerced or earned. It is a gift from God, and He gives abundantly and in full.

Free Gifts Christmas photo and picture

Jesus’ peace in our hearts is like an emotional regulator or umpire. If our hearts are anxious, we should do whatever it takes to return to peace. The Holy Spirit can show us how to do that, but we must be quiet/still enough to hear Him and follow through.

For me, that means changing the channel when a slow, sad song or show comes on. I draw a boundary line because I don’t need to add any extra emotional tension. I don’t want my focus to be on uncertainty and distraction but on Jesus!

Sometimes, we have to fight to maintain peace. After all, we are called to be peacemakers, not necessarily peacekeepers. We cannot live for the status quo. We must continue growing and changing to better reflect God’s goodness and grace.

This season can be rather chaotic at times. Peace in this season will look different than at other times. Most of us have traditions, parties, and obligations. I encourage you to consider what is most important and stick with it.

That could mean doing something out of your comfort zone, perhaps trying something new. Or, maybe it’s saying no to anything that threatens your peace. Sometimes, peace means having a difficult conversation, knowing you must deal with the awkward stuff to resolve it. Whatever it takes!

One of the best ways to maintain our sense of godly peace is to focus on His Word. Consider reviewing a Bible verse a day; write it on a notecard and place it on your bathroom mirror. Or, try memorizing it. Here are some verses to get you going!

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God, thanks for the gift of Peace! Thank You for Jesus! When life gets busy, may we keep our eyes on You. Give us strength and endurance. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are your top priorities this holiday season? How are you going to keep Jesus at the center?

Task: Slow down and take stock of your heart each day. Check in with God and listen to His soft whispers of love and grace. Then, do whatever you can to stay close to Him. He is the Source of Life and Peace!

Finding Grace #455

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Forest Path photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was thankfully less busy than the last two.

Sundays have been more relaxing since we’ve been attending the early church service. We’ve had time to prepare for the next week at a slower pace. It feels like a longer day and I feel more refreshed!

Work was a bit slower, though still steady. I simply had less patients scheduled but still got a lot of things done. It was nice to have a lighter load. As such, I had time to call some extra patients and finish a few small projects.

We received a few inches of snow on Tuesday night and Wednesday. I did a little shoveling but left the main part for the snow service. It is nice to have them come help me, though I still do a fair amount of work throughout the season!

Lydia’s birthday was on Thursday, and she was tickled by the special letter I wrote for her! She wanted to go to dinner and then watch a movie at home with some ice cream. In a way, we have already been celebrating for a week or two. That’s becaue she received various gifts when my mother-in-law visited and through the mail from family.

Friday after work, I ran a few errands and then called my mom to catch up. We had a great time chatting and it is always so encouraging. Later, my dad called to say hi, too. I always appreciate those calls!

Today, we saw Wicked (part 1) at the movie theater. I saw the Broadway production years ago, but it was fun to introduce Lydia to it. In fact, I like Wicked better than the Wizard of Oz! The movie version had some fun cameos and great music. The flying monkeys were still a little scary, though!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!