Category: Perfectionism

Posted on in Being Gracious, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Personality, Wisdom

Perfect Peace for An Imperfect Puzzle

In my guest room, I have a framed Thomas Kinkade puzzle. It’s so pretty with the calming colors and serene view. It’s one of my favorites, and there’s a funny story behind it, too!

Years ago, when I was pregnant with Lydia, I had a small ‘bucket list’ to complete before she was born. I knew I’d have little time to myself when she came. I thought a one-thousand-piece puzzle would be a big accomplishment. Great idea, right?!

Puzzle (2)

What was I thinking?!

The puzzle was way more difficult than I imagined! Who knew so many tiny pieces could look exactly alike? It took me several months to complete with a few weeks “off” here and there… Finally, Dave gave me an ultimatum:

Finish the puzzle before the baby comes, or we’re going to toss it.
To be fair, the puzzle had been on the dining room table for months! 🙂

Well, wouldn’t you know that after all that time and effort, I could not find the last piece! Aggh!

(Can you find the ‘hole’ from the missing piece in the picture above?)

Well, Dave framed the puzzle for me and put it on the wall anyway. There’s no way I’d toss it after all that hard work! These days, I still love piecing together puzzles. But, with a little one running around, I have more realistic expectations now!

hands picking up puzzle pieces

Life is not perfect…but, it is still beautiful. In some ways, we’re all like puzzle pieces!

My missing puzzle piece reminds me that each one of us has importance to God. The picture is sadly incomplete if pieces are missing. Also, if a few people don’t do their part, we all suffer. Let’s pull together and use our talents and gifts.

God is in charge of the ‘big picture.’ He knows how the puzzle goes together because it is His design. We are His masterpiece and He misses the lost pieces! We may not see how we all fit until later. But, we can trust Him to guide us into place. Let’s participate cheerfully and help those around us.

We all have unique shapes and functions, but each one has intrinsic value. For instance, there are only four corner pieces along the edges, yet, the corner pieces are not more significant than others along the edge. Some pieces are more prominent, but all pieces are needed for a complete picture.

Humility and good attitudes are key to getting along with those in close proximity. Cover personality differences with grace, and connect with others. Don’t be overly concerned about what is going on in the far corners, but do your part to hold your quadrant together. May we lay aside our pride and include others.

Some puzzle pieces have rough edges and won’t feel like a good fit. God may use them elsewhere eventually, but don’t miss the opportunity to extend them grace. Treat them well. Show them God’s love. Maybe they will become a great fit or dear friend after all! We’re all a work in progress, right?

We can’t fix our own imperfections. The truth is we’ll never will be able to get it all right, all the time! But, we don’t have to worry about our lives or the final outcome. God Himself fills the gaps for us and holds all things together (see Colossians 1:17).

puzzle_peace

Yes, God has solved the puzzle of peace in our lives. He has shown us His loves through Jesus (Romans 5:8), who gave His life on the Cross to redeem us and bring us His perfect peace. Because of His resurrection, we can be restored and live a new life of purpose.

God’s grace is more than enough for our lack; He fixes and renews what is broken. Let’s keep our eyes on Jesus and the big picture. He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

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God, thank You for Jesus! Thanks for the gift of new life You offer. Help us shine Your light as You piece us together, and let Your peace reign in our hearts. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you accepted God’s gift of new life and peace? Do you have any tricks for keeping all the pieces of a puzzle together?!

 

Posted on in Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Wisdom

For When You’re Exhausted

Did you know over seventy countries participate in Daylight Savings Time? Still, that’s less than forty percent of the countries in the world. And, each country has their own ways of using this time change—some do it before or after we do in the United States.

With a few exceptions, most Americans will be changing their clocks this weekend. So consider this your friendly reminder to ‘spring forward’ one hour! Otherwise you will show up to work or church an hour late. (You’re welcome!) 🙂

alarm-clock

While it is wonderful to have more daylight, the time change messes with our sleeping patterns. While we really only lose one hour on one day, it takes a little while to adjust. Kids get up an hour earlier, which can upset morning and evening routines. Also, there are increased health risks associated with the time change and the lack of sleep overall.

It’s no surprise that several studies have shown we need more sleep than we are getting. Like many other people, I often stay up late and get up early, still trying to run the entire solar system. Remember, S.T.R.E.S.S.?? It’s a hard habit to break!

After a little nudge from the Lord, my primary goal for the year is to… get more sleep. Like a minimum of seven hours on most nights. I know, I’m living on the edge! That’s still not enough; however, I am working on daily progress. And now that I am getting more shuteye, I certainly notice when I average closer to five or six hours.

Getting more sleep means…less wakeful hours…and thus, less time to accomplish tasks. So, I am trusting God to help me use my time wisely and accomplish all He has for me to do.

Yes, this means turning off the lights when I still feel the need to do something! It’s a struggle because I like to check things of my to-do list. For example, I often have to postpone household chores… 😉 But who really cares about dusting, anyway?!

Mainly, I aim for a more consistent bedtime routine, and swapping stimulating activities (ie. electronics) with more quiet tasks like reading books (another personal goal). But I am still learning what works best.

Often, it comes down to realizing I am wasting time or am no longer productive. Just last night, I almost got sucked into an online article about ‘secrets’ to help you sleep better. Awesome! But then I thought, “Um, I could actually just go to sleep!”

iphones

Going to bed earlier has its perks—like actually waking up rested and unhurried. But maybe the time change doesn’t affect you this weekend. Even if you just have trouble waking up or going to bed at a certain time, here are some helpful Bible verses to consider:

“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly” (Psalm 5:3).

“Show me the right path, O LORD; point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you” (Psalm 25:4-5).

“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble” (Psalm 59:16).

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life” (Psalm 143:8).

sunrise

“It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don’t you know He enjoys
giving rest to those He loves?” (Psalm 127:2).

Dear reader, God does not want us to be exhausted. Let’s rest and trust Him to help us make wise and healthy choices all throughout the day.

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Father God, thanks for Your steadfast love. Your mercies are new every morning. Teach me to number my days. Help me use my time wisely and trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you struggle with getting adequate sleep? What is one change you could make in your routine? Do you have any other helpful key Scriptures to share?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Wisdom

Learning to Love Plan B

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength—carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie ten Boom

As a planner, I enjoy knowing what to expect. But for most of my life, I was also a world-class worrier. In hindsight, I know my worries were rooted in fear…because God’s plans for me are good (Jeremiah 29:11).

Todayisagift.

Fear sucks the life out of the present moment and causes needless anxiety. Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

Worrying steals from Today as we obsess over future “what ifs” that may never happen. When we seek His presence, we stay in the present moment. There is no room for fear!

Worrying kills the joy that comes with expecting God’s goodness and blessings. When we anticipate what He will do on our behalf, there is excitement. If it’s God’s plan, it will not fail!

Worrying destroys our faith in God’s grace and provision. By holding onto our imperfect plans, we hinder God’s best for our lives. When we pray instead of worry, our trust grows. God empowers us and makes us brave as we move forward!

day-planner

Planning for contingencies is wise preparation. But worrying adds no value to the end result. Plans frequently change, yet God’s peace is constant. Hence, the lack of peace is a reminder to let Him lead (see Colossians 3:15).

It seems Life is like being guided through an obstacle course while blindfolded in deep woods. God alone knows the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10). He designed the specific way each of us should go, according to His unique and special plan for us.

Here is how I imagine it: One person is guided to the left to bypass a tree, while someone else is directed to duck under a branch. Still another person crawls over muddy roots to avoid disaster. We may go in the same general direction, but God builds character through different life circumstances. (Cue Plans B, C, and D…)

When blindfolded, the weaving, bobbing, and details just don’t make sense. Only as we look backward does clarity come. It can be challenging to trust God to lead us forward. And, we might get a few scratches along the way. But the other option is to ignore God’s vision and run into a tree, figuratively, of course. 🙂 We walk by faith, not by sight.

Plan B

We don’t have to worry. In fact, God command us: “Do not fear.” While we can’t always see the path, we can walk with God each day. He will prepares us for what is ahead. On this lifelong adventure, it would be foolish to move ahead of Him. Let’s plan to trust God!

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NLT).

When Dave got cancer and died, my worst fears came true! But God’s grace held fast. When everything fell apart, He remained in control. When I relinquished my ideas (Plan A) for His greater plan, I was finally freed from fear and worry. As I learn to love Plan B, there is joy in the journey. God continues to take care of all that concerns me. Praise the Lord!

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God, thank You for working on our behalf. Give us wisdom as we make plans. Help us not get ahead of You and Your perfect timing. Thank You for Plan B. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What do you tend to worry about? Can you envision what it would be like to not worry anymore? What can you “let go” of to have more peace?

 

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Procrastination

Got Stress? Get Grace!

As I looked for a good tie-in to today’s post, I immediately loved this acronym:

S.T.R.E.S.S. = Still Trying to Run the Entire Solar System

Now, I could tell you all the reasons why my week was stressful. This would include a conference, a deadline, tech difficulties, and a cranky child. I’m sure you understand.

Yet, they might just be good excuses. We all know Life happens. It’s easy to complain.

I could also offer advice on how I met these challenges. I’d share how I took a nap, took a walk…and took some chocolate. I’d recommend arranging for childcare, using a crockpot for easy meals, and rescheduling certain activities for another time. All good things!

(I’ll leave out the perfectionism and procrastination part…I’m sure that wasn’t related.) 😉

But you see, in my tiny little solar system, it can’t be all about me, what I want or know. I can’t even decide what to have for breakfast…so I am totally inadequate to run the show.

So I’ll keep trusting in God, the Creator of the Universe. He is excellent at dealing with stressful events. And, He is an ever-present Help in time of need!

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
He who watches over you will not slumber.”

–Psalm 121:1-3

milky-way-916523_1280

Let’s take a moment to clarify and renew our minds with God’s word. We can overlook important details or connections when we feel overwhelmed.

Isaiah 26:3 says, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.” If you don’t have peace, try realigning your focus.

Often we get stressed because we feel responsible for end-results—as if success depends on us. It is useless to depend on our own fleeting energy instead of God’s everlasting strength.

If God started something good in you, He will be faithful to complete it (see Philippians 1:6).

Both perfectionism and procrastination can yield stress. But the root is fear. In the chaos of our emotions, we can lose sight of the vision and purpose God has given us.

So, remind yourself of God’s constant love. We don’t have to be afraid!

Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

God blesses obedience, and He has equipped us to do what He has called us to do (see Ephesians 2:10). If we’re trying to do more than that, it’s no wonder we are stressed.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Lord God, I praise you! You spoke out Your Word, and created the heavens and the earth. Nothing is too difficult for you! You do all things well. When I am overwhelmed, help me seek You first. I want to do it Your way. Give me wisdom to know what to do, and the courage to do it. Thank You for Your abundant grace. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Questions: What are your best techniques for handling stress? Do you have a favorite Bible verse that you find helpful?

 

 

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Personality

On Rivendell and Rest

Before Dave and I got married, I had a little list of things I wanted to do. It sounds funny now, but watching the Lord of the Rings series one more time was on my list! I love the epic story line between good and evil. I love the beautiful scenery too! And of course, the hero wins.

When Dave died 5+ years later, God took my mind back to Rivendell. At the end of the story, Frodo goes there to recover after his arduous adventure. In the movie, Rivendell is a gorgeous citadel nestled in the mountains. It’s characterized by towering waterfalls, beautiful light and even soft music. There’s a sense that everything is going to be okay…

After our own trip through what felt like Hell, God used the imagery of Rivendell to teach me about His peace, provision, and rest. The contrast was striking.

I am somewhat task-oriented; I thrive on to-do lists, sticky notes, plans and goals! Right away, I felt overwhelmed by extra responsibilities, which Dave would’ve done otherwise. I felt like it was “all on me” to keep the house in working order, pay the bills, discipline and take care of Lydia—not to mention working, preparing food, and trying to sleep.
Even in my grief, I knew could not do it all.

Then, in the midst of turmoil, God’s peace filled my heart. It was a supernatural calm, one I cannot adequately describe. Rivendell doesn’t do it justice!

In my mind’s eye, God gave me a similar sense of rest and tranquility, safety and security. It was extremely comforting. I didn’t need a game plan; I just needed to recuperate.

I knew, eventually, my heart would heal enough to take on other things. But in the meanwhile, I let God do the heavy stuff. True to His Word, He gave me “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

Peaceful waterfalls

Slowly, God’s grace started to change—and heal—my heart. It was as if He told me just to rest, and in His time, He would see to it that everything was accomplished. And then, God’s generous grace for me allowed me to give myself grace.

I felt like God literally moved my personality default to a more laid back disposition. I realized I didn’t have to do everything, but only the most important things. I reorganized a few systems, like responding to mail and paying bills. I asked for help when needed. God also provided friends to help with outside housework, like mowing the lawn.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

As I clung to the Lord for support—minute by minute at times—I relaxed my standards and let some things go. I decided “close enough is good enough” for many tasks. At the time, I just needed to focus on Lydia and grieving well.

I may always be a checklist person! But now, I focus on what is most important—that is, joining God in the work He has for me. No more, no less. I am glad we can live in freedom and rest, knowing God is in control!

Because of His gracious love, we can live in peace and receive His provision.

God takes it personally upon Himself to help us. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we can walk in grace, peace and Victory. Thank You, Jesus!

Questions: Can you think of any epic story lines or movies that have paralleled your journey? What have you learned?

What is God asking you to let Him handle, so you can walk in Victory?

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

When my husband, Dave, received a work promotion in North Dakota, we viewed it as a great opportunity. We sensed God leading us on this journey, yet it was difficult leaving all our loved ones. It was a huge leap of faith into the unknown! Still, I told Dave, “I feel like we will be missing something if we decide not to move.”

This adventure has encompassed more than we ever could have imagined. It’s been a wild ride at times. Perhaps this journey of faith and grace has been the most exhilarating of all. Over the course of a few short years, we experienced several major life events in quick succession. Our relationship with God was the biggest factor in how we made decisions and handled everything. But, that doesn’t mean it was a cakewalk. Not at all!

We were stretched far beyond our normal capacity. It was only by God’s grace we were able to function. Dave took it all in stride. He adapted and determined to live his life no matter what. It was more of a struggle for me. The biggest hurdle I faced was my own fear.

From the time I was little, I was cautious by nature. Part of that may be my personality; but when left unchecked and unquestioned, it became a habit of fear.

Fear and Trust Road Sign

At first, I tried to make sense of Dave’s diagnosis; I was distraught about the possible outcomes. That’s how fear works. It takes small pieces of information and amplifies them. Once our emotions are running high, it can be difficult to calm them down. When Dave was sick, this was a constant battle for me.

In May 2012, a few days after Dave’s diagnosis and first surgery, I sensed God speak to my heart. Distressed, I was praying in my car, on my way home from the hospital.

“I’m going to use this to show you just how much I love you.”

It is important to trust God and seek Him, but I was incredulous. I thought, “What?!

How does this show me God’s love? This is the worst thing imaginable!

If God really loved me, how could He let this happen?”

If you have a fear problem, then you have a love problem.

Fear 1 John 4_18

God graciously used the Truth of His Word to challenge my innermost thoughts. That year, as He uprooted the deepest doubts, I learned vital lessons about God’s character.

1. God is not mad at me. Like a Father, He’s so proud of me, and loves me dearly. (Matthew 3:17)

2. I will never measure up on my own, because I am not perfect. That’s why I need Jesus! So, I can stop fearing mistakes, and just live. (Romans 3:23)

3. Even when we do make mistakes, God is not waiting to strike us with lightning, or punish us for our errors. (Romans 8:1)

4. God is on our side. He is our Helper, Friend, and Advocate. (Romans 8:31)

Through these verses and others, I grew to know God’s love in a fresh way. A deeper revelation of God’s love changed my thinking and my life for the better.

God set me free indeed (John 8:36)! Thank You, Jesus. What grace!

Questions to consider: What fears are holding you back from living a full life?

How can you apply God’s Truth to your situation?