(Not) All By Myself

This past week, Lydia and I met my family in Myrtle Beach, SC, for a fun getaway. Out of fourteen family members, some flew from North Dakota and Arizona, while the rest drove from Florida and Illinois.

My older sister and youngest brother carpooled overnight with their spouses and two little ones. My nephew, Alex, and niece, Lily, did very well on the sixteen-hour road trip and slept much of the way. 

As they rolled into town, my sister and crew were running errands to get a few groceries. The little kids tagged along. Lily is a perfect blend of sweet and sassy. She has a small voice, but she’s very clear on what she wants. She is a couple weeks shy of turning three but is already fairly independent. At one point, Lily climbed up into her car seat. She confidently proclaimed, “I can do it all by myself!

However, because Lily had been sleeping earlier, the car seat was still reclined further back than usual. Thus, her short little legs were left dangling in the air. My sister giggled as she relayed the story to us. Especially when Lily quickly realized, “I can’t do it all by myself!”

Yesterday, I talked with a Veteran who is unwilling (or afraid?) to ask his family for help. I am grateful that my family is close and supportive, but not all families are!

The problem is that this Veteran could use a lot of help beyond what his healthcare team can provide. He is paralyzed with limited ability and resources. I encouraged him to request help grocery shopping, but he is determined to drive his electric scooter 45 minutes one way so he doesn’t have to bother anyone. Thus, he is limited in what foods and how much he can buy and transport, further impacting his health. I support his desire to be independent, but it seems his stubbornness is making it more difficult. 

Whenever I think back to Lily and her legs flailing around, I smile. But she has a good point. God doesn’t want us to do it all by ourselves. We were never meant to go through life solo, trying to make it all work out in our own effort. And, just like someone swooped in to help Lily into her car seat, God is eager to help us.

Sometimes, we move too quickly without thinking through the process. Or, we make poor decisions and are too proud to admit our mistakes. But if we get ahead of God, He is still able to help us figure it out. However, we have to humbly admit we need His help!

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God, thanks for always coming through for me. I’m sorry for the times I ignore You, thinking I can do Life alone. Forgive me and draw me close. I need You every hour! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you standing strong in Jesus or flailing about on your own? What will it take to let go and let God?

Task: Bring your weaknesses to Jesus so He can be your strength. Be willing to ask for help, and be willing to give it!

Finding Grace #422

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a great week. Most of the week was fairly normal with work and school. Friday probably had the most excitement, as you can read further below.

On Sunday, we celebrated Easter. Lydia and I went to one church service and volunteered at another. The kids were very excited, and we had some funny experiences together.

The weather was perfect this week. Although the mornings were cooler, by afternoon, temperatures reached the 50s and 60s.

One cool thing that happened on Thursday was that I finally hit 100,000 miles on my Subaru! I will have had it for eleven years in August. At first, I put a lot of miles on it, driving back and forth to see family in Illinois. But I haven’t done that for a few years, so this milestone took a little longer than I expected. Thankfully, my car is in good condition. I am going to try driving it another 100k!

Lydia’s orthodontist’s wife apparently works at a spa next door to his office. So, on Friday, I received one of three free hour-long facials as a courtesy. Orthodontics are expensive, so this perk is appreciated! Lydia said my face is now glowing…. I’ll take it!

Yesterday was also my parents’ 49th wedding anniversary! They are a blessing to so many, and I am so proud to call them Mom and Dad. I appreciate how they have invested in my life, and I continue to learn from them!

Also yesterday, Lydia and I went to a the funeral visitation for a coworker’s dad. I wanted to go support her, and I also wanted to make sure Lydia had the experience. She has been to funerals before, but it is always good to know how to act in those often sad and uncomfortable experiences. 

Today, I was on-call for work, though I didn’t get called in. I woke up early to prepare and then did a lot of cleaning while waiting for my phone to potentially ring. I descaled my coffee machine, did three loads of laundry, helped Lydia organize her bedroom closet, made some Amazon returns to UPS, and caught up with some reading and bills. It felt great to be productive!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Cornerstone

Lately, I have noticed a subtle shift in my house. It is a good and natural thing, but it has surprised me. I recognized it this week, which helped deal with it. At least for now!

Basically, I have been a little short with Lydia, and it bothered me. She’s a great kid and doesn’t deserve that. I couldn’t figure out the issues until I prayed about it on the way to work Monday.

I think my feelings of frustration were related to a few factors. First, Lydia is growing more independent. So, she wants to have some say in what we do. I also want this for her, but to do that, I need to let go and let her. And that’s complicated sometimes. 🙂

Part of this is related to “puberty brain.” Normally, Lydia is obedient and reliable. But now, she “forgets” to complete tasks or wants to negotiate. That’s fine sometimes, but I put my foot down this past weekend and reset some boundaries. I know this is just the beginning, and communication will morph over the next few years. Again, this is all normal!

Another factor is that I have been the only adult at home for over a decade, which is a lot of responsibility. And, I have expectations about my house and space! Over time, I have taught Lydia to do various household tasks, but if she doesn’t follow through or moves like a sloth, I either have to do it or reinforce it… again. Both take more time and dilegence.

Free Medieval Castle Detail photo and picture

On Monday, I was also nervous about the timing of things at work. I had two complex patients coming on top of my regular patient load. They were expected to come back to back and had a lot of similarities which I needed to keep straight. I lost a little sleep about this, and so I was just a little grumpy with all that on my mind. 😉

Then, before work, I had to remind Lydia to move her shoes after I tripped on them. She knows not to leave them in the middle of the floor. I yelled out of exasperation and had to apologize. It all worked out, but on my way to work, I prayed and asked God to help me readjust… and as soon as I did, He did a little heart work!

On the radio, I heard a few songs, like Tasha Layton’s “Look What You’ve Done.” There’s a line about God tearing all the roots up from our hearts, getting rid of lies and replacing them with His Truth. I envisioned God taking my fears and grumpiness as I soaked up His love for me.

Then, I heard the song, “Cornerstone” by TobyMac. It was a great reminder of what really matters: Jesus. My identity is found in Christ alone, not in if the dishes get done (or if Lydia remembers them or not).

Jesus is my cornerstone, the perfect foundation. My security is found in Him. He is my hope, my joy, my peace. Jesus encompasses all I am, and His expectation is that I walk with Him. His mercy and grace cover all I do. No more, no less.

As Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Life can quickly change, and no two days are alike. If we let our circumstances or emotions run the show, we’ll keep spiraling out of control. One minute, we are “happy” when things go our way, and the next, we are losing our temper over towels left in the dryer. Ahem.

We can’t always predict how things will go, but we can run to God, who is our Rock. He is strong and steady, a sure place to land. He is the only thing that matters in the end.

I know the Lord will keep working in my heart and household. I have invited Him in and give Him full reign (sometimes hour by hour!). I am excited to see what Jesus does in me and who Lydia becomes in Him.

So today, instead of getting bent out of shape, I will let God shape me. He is the beginning and the end and knows all things. His plans for me are good and trustworthy! He can use any challenge for His purposes. Nothing is impossible for Him!

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God, thanks for being my foundation, my cornerstone. Thanks for the reminder that I am not in control and don’t need to be! Help me trust You more and let You direct my path. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Are you relying on God to steady you this week? How has He come through for you lately?

Task: Let God strip away everything that is not of Him. It is painful at times, but worth it! Check out this final song I heard on the radio, which helped tie everything together, “One Thing Remains” by Passion ft Kristian Stanfill.

Finding Grace #411

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Hut Blizzard photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week with a bit of stress. Mostly, I was tired and work was busy. Nothing new and it was “all good” overall. 🙂 

Work was busy all day, every day. It’s a good problem to have, though we spoke up to see if there are some changes we can make. We came up with a new solution, and I think it will still be busy, but hopefully a little more manageable.

The weather was chilly but not too crazy! El Nino is making our North Dakota weather warmer than usual with less snow. I love winter, but with even the little bit of shoveling I have done, my back, shoulders, and arms being sore. I try to use ergonomic shovels and techniques, but I am grateful for a little reprieve! 🙂

Lydia had a routine well-child appointment. She is doing well with all her water and salt, but she still feels not-so-great sometimes. Prayerfully, I thought a cardiology appointment would be our next step, and her doctor agreed to put in a consult. I expect that Lydia is “fine” (besides POTS), but it would be good to see if there are any other tools available to us and to verify that nothing else is going on. Prayers are appreciated. In other news, she will be taller than me soon… my guess is she will match me by spring!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Fifteen Years

On Sunday, I celebrated fifteen years since I married Dave! It was my tenth anniversary without him here, but this anniversary felt fairly lightweight. Marrying Dave was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I am grateful for the time we had together.

Lydia reminds me of Dave daily; she’s a treasure like her dad. This weekend, we made a bit of forward progress… another project requiring more tools.

Fifteen years ago, Dave and I bought a closet organizer that had several pieces. We used it in our old house in Illinois but separated it into different rooms when we moved to North Dakota.


Over the last year or so, Lydia’s been requesting we remove the drawers and shelves that ended up in her room. The drawers have needed repairs on and off for ten years. I suppose fifteen years is a long time for particle board! Nonetheless, I kept putting it off.

Because of its size, it seemed like a lot of effort, mentally and physically. I knew I would have to do it all myself! But it was also emotionally tough because whenever I saw it, I could envision Dave installing it with great love and attention to detail. Oh, how he loved Lydia and wanted the best for her!

Well, thanks to our recent break from work and school, I finally felt relaxed and ready to tackle it. Lydia cleaned it out and cleared space. Then, I unscrewed it from the wall. We removed the drawers and shelves before I slowly pulled the unit down to the floor.

I’m pretty sure that the unit was just waiting to come down! Almost with a sigh of relief, it fell into two sections before hitting the floor! I could see what was happening, so I was prepared. Ironically, it saved me the effort of prying it loose! Then, the hinges on the door gave way, and the rest just came apart.

Finally, I carried it to the curb for garbage pickup on Monday. Lydia promptly moved her desk into that new space. It fits perfectly. In fact, the desk looks much better there than sticking out from the window, its previous location.



In hindsight, it was almost as if the wardrobe was just holding together until I could finally release it. It felt like an object lesson, a statement: It’s okay to hold onto the past for a little while, but it’s also good to let it go. That’s part of healing and moving forward.

I don’t know if you need to let something go… but maybe it’s time. It’s not that it means less now, but consider how you have grown past the point of needing it. Or, perhaps it is keeping you from growth.

Then again, maybe there’s nothing holding you back… But are you holding something else back? No rush. No pressure. Just something to consider. As Lysa TerKeurst says, “Emotions are indicators, not dictators.” God wants us to live a full life. But life is short, and we don’t have time to waste. 

Ultimately, we want to listen to Jesus and follow His timing in our lives. We don’t have to be afraid; He is trustworthy. He will make it clear when we need to keep moving forward!

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God, thanks for blessing me, protecting me, and providing for me. Thanks for the reminder to let go of things that aren’t good for me anymore so I can follow You more closely. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What is God asking you to do as a result of this blog post? Is there something holding you back from following Him?

Tasks: Take a little inventory of your environment, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Be brave and let go of what is not serving you well. Trust Jesus and keep moving forward!

Finding Grace #409

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Forest Trees photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week to jump back into our normal routine. Thankfully, it was relatively smooth sailing, with a four-day week after the beginning of the new year!

Work was quite busy, but I had some really nice patients. They all seemed grateful for my input, which is always gratifying! 

Lydia had an exciting week in that she began wearing contacts. We have talked about it for a while, and she is doing well! I am sure she will still wear her glasses sometimes. But, it is fun to see her take the next step of growing up!

Today, we had a good day of working on a couple of projects. I paid some bills, made a few calls, and put together a veggie tray. We also put away the last of our Christmas decorations. It felt good to be productive!

Tonight, Lydia and I are watching The Hunger Games movie. Lydia has been reading the book series, but I have not. It is dark but interesting… and, more importantly, a good way to spend time with my girl.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Looking Back: Lessons Learned

Today is the last Wednesday post of 2023! I have the whole week off, the first time in at least five years. Having time to relax and reflect on the year has been wonderful. I have been catching up on a few things, reading, and planning for January.

Here are some changes we’ve made and lessons learned over the last year. 

In March, I worked with a personal trainer for a short time to regain strength after a few minor health issues made me feel weak (all is well, or at least manageable, now). With a clean bill of health, I decided to make some changes! The trainer reminded me of my goals and the importance of compound movements and progressive overload (lifting heavier weights over time). I also brushed up on some basic muscle anatomy. Our bodies and muscles adapt and need to be challenged in order to grow!

The increased strength and confidence paid off when we went to the beach in June. We spent a week with Dave’s family in Florida, and I went surfing for the first time! It felt good to try something new. I was told most people give up after the first few falls, but I stayed out in the water for several hours.

Free Pine Cone Tree photo and picture

Feeling better physically was good for my mental health, too. This year, I learned to cope with stress and perceived stress better. I worked on praying, breathing, stretching, and taking breaks (not quitting). I’m sure my stressors are still similar, but I am just handling them better. Because of this, I had enough mental space and emotional energy to tackle some organization projects around the house. I had put them off for too long, but finally made progress!

Lydia had a big year of growth. She made the decision to be baptized and followed through in May. It was a special blessing that it happened on Pentecost Sunday! Later, when she went to Bible camp in July, she felt a closer connection to God. Since then, she has been spending more time with Him praying and reading her Bible. It has blessed us both, and I am so proud of her!

Lydia finished elementary school in May and entered middle school in August. The difference is like moving from checkers to Monopoly! She enjoys playing the viola and is learning to navigate friendship drama, but also trying to fit in and be her own person. This has led to many conversations about values. Otherwise, Lydia is building her study routine and has realized she can’t rely on the laurels of her past successes. It has been fun to watch her grow; it is worth the occasional struggle.

We have continued to meet over Zoom most weeks with my family. It is something we look forward to on Sundays! We share jokes, updates, and prayer requests. It makes our in-person visits easier since we don’t have to spend as much time catching up. A family that builds each other up is such a gift.

In that vein, another highlight was when my parents came to visit in October! We had such a fun time hanging out. Lydia and I were grateful to have them all to ourselves! My mom built into Lydia with some words of wisdom. My dad fixed several things around the house, some of which I hadn’t even realized were issues. I will try to do a better job of staying on top of things now that I have more energy.

Free Tree Evergreen photo and picture

Work has been steadily busy but also good. I took on some extra responsibilities to cover for others. I was a little nervous, but God has been blessing my efforts. In some ways, I have been mentoring my younger coworkers, too. It’s not an official role, but it is nice that they trust my experience and knowledge. That said, I continue to learn from them as well!

One notable win this year was when the fence belonging to the rental property adjacent to mine was replaced. This is a large corporation with several locations, and I spent several months trying to communicate with them when their fence fell into my yard. They did not respond appropriately, so I spent all summer and fall pushing the city to intervene. They were quick to respond, but it took a while for the legal protocol to play out. I didn’t back down, and finally, the fence was replaced!

Looking back, it seems the common factors are perseverance and growth. We cannot have one without the other. Difficulties are not always bad, and God can use any challenge for our good. With this, I am challenged to keep close to Jesus. He is the only thing that really matters, and everything I need is in Him!

As this new year comes, I am sure there will be more lessons to learn. But I don’t have to be afraid; God never said it would be easy but that He would be with us. He is faithful. We can persevere and grow as we keep moving forward!

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God, thanks for faithfully bringing us through another year. May we reflect Your goodness and grace in every circumstance. May we shine your light on all we meet. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your top highlight of the year? How did God help you through your challenges?

Tasks: Take a few minutes to reflect on the highlights, challenges, and wins of your year. Praise God and commit to trusting Him in the new year. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.”

Finding Grace #406

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Tree Winter photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a fun week full of God’s grace!

Perhaps the biggest “excitement” of the week included a little rock hitting my car on the highway. A few minutes later, I was at a stop light near work and heard a pop as a crack developed across the lower part of my windshield. I called a car repair place and was able to swing by on my lunch break to get a quote. Hopefully, it will be fixed next week!

Later that day, I drove an hour to Pelican Rapids and back again, thankful God protected me and my windshield held up! I went to see a Veteran in a medical foster home, which means he lives with a local family and we go see him there. It was a gorgeous day, and I drove along a scenic byway full of rolling hills covered with a light dusting of snow.

This week, I had a lot of routine health appointments! I celebrated my five-year Lasik anniversary, and my eye doctor said I am doing great! My chiropractor was happy with my back, too. It only needed a few minor adjustments! Lydia and I also had dentist appointments, and everything looks great! I’m grateful for good health!

Today, Lydia and I went to the movie theater for “Christmas with The Chosen: Holy Night.” We enjoyed the new presentation and songs. Who doesn’t love Andrea Bocelli?! I was a little tearful at various points, just so grateful for Jesus coming to rescue us from the darkness of sin!

Later, we each got haircuts. I got a trim, but Lydia took of three inches! But, before that, we went to the mall and walked around to kill some time. We loved the bright lights and didn’t even mind the crowd. It felt like a party!

Tonight, we are finally decorating our Christmas tree and doing other holiday activities. It is good to be home after a busy week!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Jaw Dropping Truth

For this Advent season, Lydia and I have been preparing our hearts in a few ways. In the morning, we are reading from Max Lucado’s book, In the Manger. It contains excerpts from his other books and many deep points spelled out simply.

In the evening, we read a Chapter of Luke’s gospel and then discuss anything that comes to mind. We also have a couple of Advent calendars. One is Peanuts-themed, and one has chocolate.

One morning, we started reading the Max Lucado book during breakfast. I paused to make sure Lydia understood. I asked her if she knew that Mary was a young teenager, and to my surprise, Lydia’s jaw dropped! She was flabbergasted! So much so that I had to ask her to shut her mouth so the oatmeal wouldn’t fall out.

Free Blueberries Oats photo and picture

Lydia mentioned that Mary could have been a student at her school (age-wise). “I’ve babysat for little kids, but I can’t imagine if it was my baby!” I think she has a newfound respect for the story of Baby Jesus!

Then, this became a funny conversation about puberty and how Mary might have felt. We agreed she must have been open-minded, trustworthy, and kindhearted to sacrifice her body and desires without knowing all the details.

Soon, the discussion moved to how Mary’s life differed from ours. She would not have had access to television, the internet, or social media. She couldn’t let toddler Jesus watch PBS Kids when she needed a break. She didn’t have a cell phone, Facetime, or texting. So, perhaps that helped shield her from some comments, but in a small town, people talk.

Mary was likely shunned with little support at first. Maybe that’s one reason she visited her Cousin Elizabeth. Thankfully, God protected her when He prompted Joseph to stand by Mary. They must have been a special pair!

Free Oatmeal Porridge photo and picture

God must’ve known what He was doing when He created Mary and Joseph. Whatever their personalities and strengths, He entrusted them with Jesus. It was up to them to accept it, but God knew what He was doing!

You, know God has each of our lives planned out, too. Our personalities, strengths, passions, and even weaknesses are no surprise to Him. They are part of our special purpose. God has envisioned each of our days before even one of them comes to pass. He even knows all the words I will write well before I even have a blog topic in mind! #mindblown

So, we can trust God will prepare our path and make sure we are on it. What joy it must bring Him when we walk where He leads! May we keep an open mind and heart when God shows up in exciting ways and sets an opportunity before us.

Even today, we can invite Jesus into our day. Ask Him to reign in your heart and see what He does! But, maybe close your mouth before your food falls out. 🙂

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God, You are so wise and patient with us! You always have good plans in store. May we trust You enough to say YES to the life You have designed for us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is God asking you to do for Him? It could be big and exciting, or small and mundane. Each situation can be a gift to Him when we have a good attitude.

Task: If you feel unqualified for something God calls you to do, take a deep breath before getting started. Chances are, that’s a sign you are on the right track! If you knew all the answers, you wouldn’t need to trust God! He designed us to depend on Him!

All About The Box

Oh, the fun and joy of a big box! We received two big boxes last week with some basic household supplies. Immediately, Lydia wanted to get into one of the boxes and pop out of it! Her laughter was contagious!

Then, at dinner, we discussed the day, that is, work and middle school. Lydia questioned why God lets some people “get away with” something and how He prompts others to apologize or forgive. We had a good conversation about God’s plan and expectations for His children vs. those who don’t follow Him yet (their choice). We also discussed the differences between the Old and New Testaments, and how Jesus’ death and blood set up a new system for dealing with sin. It’s a free gift, but not to be taken lightly!

Then, I decided to use the boxes to help me show Lydia a concept about God. I used one big box and a smaller one from the garage to create a visual.

I told Lydia, “Pretend I am God, and this big box is the universe I created. Then, this little box is Earth. See the LEGO people and animals! While God is outside our understanding of time and space, He’s also here with us. So, no one really gets away with anything. His judgments are right and just because He can see everything and knows our hearts.”

I went on, “Someday, every person will have to give an account for their words and actions. Sure, He could just reach down and deal with everything instantly, and someday He will. But right now, He is so patient with us (2 Peter 3:9)!”

(We can fool others and ourselves, but we can’t fool God!)

God can interact with each of us personally. Like a LEGO set, He can move people, mountains, and circumstances any way He wants. But He also responds to prayer and requests for help.

I imagine God leaning in to look for those who try to please Him (2 Chronicles 16:9). There’s probably a lot of joy mixed with sorrow. May we be found faithful!

Being human, we often lose sight of what is happening in the world. Our little corner of the box has its own issues! But, it helps me to remember this visual because I can more easily see my problems in light of Who God is and how big and powerful He is.

God is all-in and ‘all about the box’ because it contains His most precious creation(s). Us!

This box visual also helps me trust God when there are things I don’t understand. Like when Dave got cancer and died. (Check out my book for more details.) But, God knows what we don’t and sees what we cannot. I don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.

Moreover, Jesus humbled Himself and got in the tiny little box so He could truly understand what we go through and rescue us. He is Emmanuel – God with us. Therefore, we are not alone and without hope.

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God, You are greater than anything we can imagine. Your mercy and grace have no limits. Thank You for being so kind and compassionate toward us. Thank You for Jesus! In His Name, Amen

Questions: Are there any household objects or tools that make you think of God and who He is? How would you explain God’s love to a child?

Tasks: Put together your own visual for how you perceive God. Then, share it here or with someone in your own life (corner of the box).