Do you ever try to talk yourself out of decisions? Or is that just me?
Last week, I had said I would attend an event but was on the fence about actually doing so. Even though I wanted to go, I kind of didn’t want to go. Sometimes it’s an introvert thing and sometimes it is a fear thing… honestly, it may be both.
I was raised to honor commitments, but even so, I was trying to think of other things to do! It’s cold. It’s dark. I’m tired. I’m busy and want a break. I need to, I should…
Most of these were excuses, which should have been my first clue. Though, a couple of possible solutions did pop into my head. One, I could have practiced for the next day’s presentation at work; that would have been smart. And, two, I could have checked in on a friend who is a new widow and single mom; that would have been kind.
Sensing a teachable moment, I asked Lydia, “Should I do something brave, smart, or kind?” And then, I told her about these three ideas also explaining that all of them were good options.
It was a good, better, best type of moment. There wasn’t an obviously wrong answer.
I loved Lydia’s response: “I think you should do the brave thing and go. You can probably practice later, and maybe you could show your friend kindness in some other way. But this is the only chance to be brave.”
We discussed it further and we agreed. I didn’t really need to practice much for my presentation since it is a very familiar nutrition topic. Often, I joke that I could do that while asleep! I talk about it more or less every day, so I know it inside and out.
And, while I didn’t tell Lydia this, I had already reached out to my widow friend. I wanted to be open in case God had our paths cross that night and she wanted to talk. But, I also wanted to give her some space since she has been overwhelmed. Of course, there is a balance and the key is listening to the Holy Spirit’s timing. He did not have our paths cross that night.
Basically, since I was at risk of chickening out, I knew I needed to do the brave thing and show up. Fear is so subtle isn’t it?! Faith is the only way forward!
I can do difficult things, and I am so glad I did. I had a great time and shared a lot of laughter with some really sweet ladies. If I had chosen an option other than bravery, I might have missed an opportunity to meet new friends. Or, it might be even more difficult or awkward the next time. The first step is always the hardest!
Then, a few days later, Lydia chickened out several times all within the same day.
For example, I asked her to stand in a separate grocery line and make a purchase (on her own, while I was nearby), but she didn’t. In another instance, she completely missed out on a fun reward because she stalled and didn’t get out the door in time. Fear had her stuck in her tracks.
When we discussed it, she said, “I’m just afraid of everything!” This stood out to me because it is uncharacteristic of how she normally acts… and I can totally relate.
In fact, I was able to share a little of my story and my fight against fear. Even as a young child, I was afraid. Fear was always an undercurrent, but difficult for me to fully identify and deal with. So, it was interesting how I could recognize the lies and reframe them for Lydia.
I explained that Jesus set us free from fear, and now we don’t have to be afraid. Fear is normal, but we don’t have to dwell on it or stay in that mindset. We have to challenge our fears in order to keep moving forward!
It’s as if we are sitting in a jail cell feeling sorry for ourselves when the key is in the door standing wide open. I’m sure God is like, “Hello!!! I already did the difficult work! All you have to do is walk out and be free!”
Jesus is so much more than our ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card.
Fearful events happen all around us. We can’t always get away from every obstacle. But, over and over in the Bible, God commands us, “Do not be afraid.” So, it seems we are responsible for not giving in to fear and staying stuck. God always provides a way to move forward, if we are willing to be brave.
There are several ways we can combat fear. We can pray for help, quote a Bible verse, ask a friend to come with us… but ultimately, we need to show up and do the difficult thing anyway. We won’t always get it right the first time, but as long as we stand in faith, we win!
Often, we have to challenge ourselves with little scary tasks so we are prepared when the big ones come! Thus, Lydia and I decided to work toward this together and keep each other accountable. I will be presenting small ongoing weekly challenges to build her up for the future. I’m still sorting out what that looks like!
I’m her mom, yes, but I know all too well what happens when we give in to fear. Over time, it becomes a stronghold and I will not allow that on my watch!
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God, thank You for setting us free from fear so we can walk in Your grace and Truth. We praise You because we don’t have to be afraid!! Open our eyes to the lies we believe so we may challenge them and keep moving forward. We have Victory! In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: How have you been brave, smart, or kind this week? Has it been easy or a challenge? What will you do differently next time?
Tasks: Challenge your fears, and do it afraid! Watch The Pilgrim’s Progress, which is based on the classic story by John Bunyan. It highlights several of the lies we believe in our Christian walk.
