Category: Journey of Grace

Perspective on our cancer journey

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Pivot, Wisdom, Worship

Cornerstone

Lately, I have noticed a subtle shift in my house. It is a good and natural thing, but it has surprised me. I recognized it this week, which helped deal with it. At least for now!

Basically, I have been a little short with Lydia, and it bothered me. She’s a great kid and doesn’t deserve that. I couldn’t figure out the issues until I prayed about it on the way to work Monday.

I think my feelings of frustration were related to a few factors. First, Lydia is growing more independent. So, she wants to have some say in what we do. I also want this for her, but to do that, I need to let go and let her. And that’s complicated sometimes. 🙂

Part of this is related to “puberty brain.” Normally, Lydia is obedient and reliable. But now, she “forgets” to complete tasks or wants to negotiate. That’s fine sometimes, but I put my foot down this past weekend and reset some boundaries. I know this is just the beginning, and communication will morph over the next few years. Again, this is all normal!

Another factor is that I have been the only adult at home for over a decade, which is a lot of responsibility. And, I have expectations about my house and space! Over time, I have taught Lydia to do various household tasks, but if she doesn’t follow through or moves like a sloth, I either have to do it or reinforce it… again. Both take more time and dilegence.

Free Medieval Castle Detail photo and picture

On Monday, I was also nervous about the timing of things at work. I had two complex patients coming on top of my regular patient load. They were expected to come back to back and had a lot of similarities which I needed to keep straight. I lost a little sleep about this, and so I was just a little grumpy with all that on my mind. 😉

Then, before work, I had to remind Lydia to move her shoes after I tripped on them. She knows not to leave them in the middle of the floor. I yelled out of exasperation and had to apologize. It all worked out, but on my way to work, I prayed and asked God to help me readjust… and as soon as I did, He did a little heart work!

On the radio, I heard a few songs, like Tasha Layton’s “Look What You’ve Done.” There’s a line about God tearing all the roots up from our hearts, getting rid of lies and replacing them with His Truth. I envisioned God taking my fears and grumpiness as I soaked up His love for me.

Then, I heard the song, “Cornerstone” by TobyMac. It was a great reminder of what really matters: Jesus. My identity is found in Christ alone, not in if the dishes get done (or if Lydia remembers them or not).

Jesus is my cornerstone, the perfect foundation. My security is found in Him. He is my hope, my joy, my peace. Jesus encompasses all I am, and His expectation is that I walk with Him. His mercy and grace cover all I do. No more, no less.

As Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Life can quickly change, and no two days are alike. If we let our circumstances or emotions run the show, we’ll keep spiraling out of control. One minute, we are “happy” when things go our way, and the next, we are losing our temper over towels left in the dryer. Ahem.

We can’t always predict how things will go, but we can run to God, who is our Rock. He is strong and steady, a sure place to land. He is the only thing that matters in the end.

I know the Lord will keep working in my heart and household. I have invited Him in and give Him full reign (sometimes hour by hour!). I am excited to see what Jesus does in me and who Lydia becomes in Him.

So today, instead of getting bent out of shape, I will let God shape me. He is the beginning and the end and knows all things. His plans for me are good and trustworthy! He can use any challenge for His purposes. Nothing is impossible for Him!

**********

God, thanks for being my foundation, my cornerstone. Thanks for the reminder that I am not in control and don’t need to be! Help me trust You more and let You direct my path. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Are you relying on God to steady you this week? How has He come through for you lately?

Task: Let God strip away everything that is not of Him. It is painful at times, but worth it! Check out this final song I heard on the radio, which helped tie everything together, “One Thing Remains” by Passion ft Kristian Stanfill.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Pivot, Procrastination, Wisdom

Fifteen Years

On Sunday, I celebrated fifteen years since I married Dave! It was my tenth anniversary without him here, but this anniversary felt fairly lightweight. Marrying Dave was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I am grateful for the time we had together.

Lydia reminds me of Dave daily; she’s a treasure like her dad. This weekend, we made a bit of forward progress… another project requiring more tools.

Fifteen years ago, Dave and I bought a closet organizer that had several pieces. We used it in our old house in Illinois but separated it into different rooms when we moved to North Dakota.


Over the last year or so, Lydia’s been requesting we remove the drawers and shelves that ended up in her room. The drawers have needed repairs on and off for ten years. I suppose fifteen years is a long time for particle board! Nonetheless, I kept putting it off.

Because of its size, it seemed like a lot of effort, mentally and physically. I knew I would have to do it all myself! But it was also emotionally tough because whenever I saw it, I could envision Dave installing it with great love and attention to detail. Oh, how he loved Lydia and wanted the best for her!

Well, thanks to our recent break from work and school, I finally felt relaxed and ready to tackle it. Lydia cleaned it out and cleared space. Then, I unscrewed it from the wall. We removed the drawers and shelves before I slowly pulled the unit down to the floor.

I’m pretty sure that the unit was just waiting to come down! Almost with a sigh of relief, it fell into two sections before hitting the floor! I could see what was happening, so I was prepared. Ironically, it saved me the effort of prying it loose! Then, the hinges on the door gave way, and the rest just came apart.

Finally, I carried it to the curb for garbage pickup on Monday. Lydia promptly moved her desk into that new space. It fits perfectly. In fact, the desk looks much better there than sticking out from the window, its previous location.



In hindsight, it was almost as if the wardrobe was just holding together until I could finally release it. It felt like an object lesson, a statement: It’s okay to hold onto the past for a little while, but it’s also good to let it go. That’s part of healing and moving forward.

I don’t know if you need to let something go… but maybe it’s time. It’s not that it means less now, but consider how you have grown past the point of needing it. Or, perhaps it is keeping you from growth.

Then again, maybe there’s nothing holding you back… But are you holding something else back? No rush. No pressure. Just something to consider. As Lysa TerKeurst says, “Emotions are indicators, not dictators.” God wants us to live a full life. But life is short, and we don’t have time to waste. 

Ultimately, we want to listen to Jesus and follow His timing in our lives. We don’t have to be afraid; He is trustworthy. He will make it clear when we need to keep moving forward!

**********

God, thanks for blessing me, protecting me, and providing for me. Thanks for the reminder to let go of things that aren’t good for me anymore so I can follow You more closely. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What is God asking you to do as a result of this blog post? Is there something holding you back from following Him?

Tasks: Take a little inventory of your environment, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Be brave and let go of what is not serving you well. Trust Jesus and keep moving forward!

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Pivot, Wisdom

Keeping It Simple

Happy New Year! Lydia and I had fun hanging out at home on New Year’s Eve. She really wanted to stay up until Midnight, so we played some games, ate some yummy food, and even did a little painting. Mine was rather abstract, but I did add some glitter, ha!

While we waited for the new year to roll in, we talked about things we are looking forward to this year. She had a great list, including going to camp, joining a volleyball team, and doing some traveling.

On a personal note, I want to build more rest into my daily routine to help me manage stress. By that, I mean adopting a slower pace (which is not always possible), purposeful movement, and simple nourishing meals. I also want to stay on top of my clutter. A tall order, but, I will do my best.

Spiritually, I want to stay present with Jesus and invite Him into every part of my day. That’s one reason I want to have a slower pace – to hear Him more easily and move with Him without delay. The noise of daily life makes it difficult to pay attention to Him!

Thus, Lydia and I decided to read the Bible together chronologically and discuss it.  The Bible shows God’s goodness and love but also how brutal humans can be. That said, some of the content may be beyond Lydia’s maturity level, so I might let her skip those parts. We will see how it goes!

Otherwise, I’m not really into making resolutions but rather setting SMART goals and building solid habits. It’s good to give ourselves a lot of time (maybe, all year!) since it takes a while to build new routines.

A few months ago, I came across the idea of setting goals we are 90% sure we can achieve (rather than a so-so 50%). That way, it is still a stretch, but we are confident. Thus, we are more likely to have success over something we were not fully committed to. It has more to do with building ourselves up rather than just the to-do list.

Free Fireworks Bright photo and picture

That said, keeping it simple is usually the best idea. My cousin is a librarian for kids. She asked them what kinds of resolutions they had. Here are some of their ideas: Be kind. Have fun. Be nice. See the hippos at the zoo. Explore! Paint!

We can learn a lot here and interpret the children’s nuggets of wisdom. Basically, this means to treat people well, pause to enjoy life, and try new things. I am fairly confident we can all be successful with these! 🙂

Whatever you decide to do this year, follow where the Lord leads. Be sure to check in with Him throughout each day. Staying close to Jesus is the best thing you can do!

**********

God, thanks for Your new mercies every morning. Help us keep You front and center this year. Help us slow down, stay present, and listen to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have any resolutions or goals for the coming weeks? Do you have a specific strategy you like to follow?

Task: Be sure to check in with Jesus as you plan your days, weeks, months, and years!

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Pivot, Prayer, Wisdom

Looking Back: Lessons Learned

Today is the last Wednesday post of 2023! I have the whole week off, the first time in at least five years. Having time to relax and reflect on the year has been wonderful. I have been catching up on a few things, reading, and planning for January.

Here are some changes we’ve made and lessons learned over the last year. 

In March, I worked with a personal trainer for a short time to regain strength after a few minor health issues made me feel weak (all is well, or at least manageable, now). With a clean bill of health, I decided to make some changes! The trainer reminded me of my goals and the importance of compound movements and progressive overload (lifting heavier weights over time). I also brushed up on some basic muscle anatomy. Our bodies and muscles adapt and need to be challenged in order to grow!

The increased strength and confidence paid off when we went to the beach in June. We spent a week with Dave’s family in Florida, and I went surfing for the first time! It felt good to try something new. I was told most people give up after the first few falls, but I stayed out in the water for several hours.

Free Pine Cone Tree photo and picture

Feeling better physically was good for my mental health, too. This year, I learned to cope with stress and perceived stress better. I worked on praying, breathing, stretching, and taking breaks (not quitting). I’m sure my stressors are still similar, but I am just handling them better. Because of this, I had enough mental space and emotional energy to tackle some organization projects around the house. I had put them off for too long, but finally made progress!

Lydia had a big year of growth. She made the decision to be baptized and followed through in May. It was a special blessing that it happened on Pentecost Sunday! Later, when she went to Bible camp in July, she felt a closer connection to God. Since then, she has been spending more time with Him praying and reading her Bible. It has blessed us both, and I am so proud of her!

Lydia finished elementary school in May and entered middle school in August. The difference is like moving from checkers to Monopoly! She enjoys playing the viola and is learning to navigate friendship drama, but also trying to fit in and be her own person. This has led to many conversations about values. Otherwise, Lydia is building her study routine and has realized she can’t rely on the laurels of her past successes. It has been fun to watch her grow; it is worth the occasional struggle.

We have continued to meet over Zoom most weeks with my family. It is something we look forward to on Sundays! We share jokes, updates, and prayer requests. It makes our in-person visits easier since we don’t have to spend as much time catching up. A family that builds each other up is such a gift.

In that vein, another highlight was when my parents came to visit in October! We had such a fun time hanging out. Lydia and I were grateful to have them all to ourselves! My mom built into Lydia with some words of wisdom. My dad fixed several things around the house, some of which I hadn’t even realized were issues. I will try to do a better job of staying on top of things now that I have more energy.

Free Tree Evergreen photo and picture

Work has been steadily busy but also good. I took on some extra responsibilities to cover for others. I was a little nervous, but God has been blessing my efforts. In some ways, I have been mentoring my younger coworkers, too. It’s not an official role, but it is nice that they trust my experience and knowledge. That said, I continue to learn from them as well!

One notable win this year was when the fence belonging to the rental property adjacent to mine was replaced. This is a large corporation with several locations, and I spent several months trying to communicate with them when their fence fell into my yard. They did not respond appropriately, so I spent all summer and fall pushing the city to intervene. They were quick to respond, but it took a while for the legal protocol to play out. I didn’t back down, and finally, the fence was replaced!

Looking back, it seems the common factors are perseverance and growth. We cannot have one without the other. Difficulties are not always bad, and God can use any challenge for our good. With this, I am challenged to keep close to Jesus. He is the only thing that really matters, and everything I need is in Him!

As this new year comes, I am sure there will be more lessons to learn. But I don’t have to be afraid; God never said it would be easy but that He would be with us. He is faithful. We can persevere and grow as we keep moving forward!

**********

God, thanks for faithfully bringing us through another year. May we reflect Your goodness and grace in every circumstance. May we shine your light on all we meet. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your top highlight of the year? How did God help you through your challenges?

Tasks: Take a few minutes to reflect on the highlights, challenges, and wins of your year. Praise God and commit to trusting Him in the new year. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.”

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Pivot, Wisdom, Worship

Big Star or Bust

It amazes me how the Nativity story is something we have heard and read about year after year, but it always has something new for us!

Whether you think about it from the perspective of the Shepherds, Mary, Joseph, the Angels, Wisemen, or even the animals (surely they were surprised, too!), there are so many angles! In other parts of the Gospel of Luke, I’m sure Anna, Simeon, and Elizabeth had some important insights, too.

All of the people in the Nativity story had their lives interrupted by a little baby. And, not just any baby; Jesus was/is God!

It’s likely they were each struggling in one way or another. The Roman occupation would not have been easy. Mary, Joseph, and the Shepherds were not made of money. Even the Wisemen would have been worn out from a lengthy journey. Nonetheless, they all regrouped and went with it, apparently!

Lydia made a funny comment about the Wisemen recently, who would have traveled several months or possibly years. She said, “What if they had a sign on their caravan that said ‘Big Star or Bust?!'” We both laughed, but it made me think a bit more.

Free sirius star big dog illustration

Do I go all in as I seek Jesus? Well, I usually try to, but my cracked car windshield is getting replaced today. With the colder weather, I didn’t want to take any chances.

It was rather inconvenient, and I was at a loss for what to do. Then, two friends were willing to help me swap my car with a rental after work (yesterday and today). God knows what I need and how to solve it!

Oddly enough, the car I ended up with last night was not the one I rented; it was one that was available! I could choose between a big truck, a little truck, a minivan, and a Chevy Spark. I was thinking of just getting back and forth to work and didn’t want to have to figure out the size and spacing on the fly. So, I chose the compact Chevy and laughed all the way home.

See the picture – it looks like the back half of the car is missing! At least I saved a little money with the smaller car! 😉

Sometimes, “Big Star or Bust” has to be a group effort. We are not meant to live in isolation. Even Jesus had a family and friends, as he ran a public ministry. He had to rely on others to some degree. Although He was often on the go, He always had time for what mattered.

This season can be tough in many ways. Hustling and bustling often lead to stress, while high expectations can lead to disappointment when things don’t go as planned. If you are dealing with grief or loss, well, that can take sorrow to a whole new level.

I know full well the grief cycle mixed with holidays. Feel free to look back on just about any post from each December I have blogged (starting in 2015). Each year has gotten a little better, thankfully! And, I am grateful for all the continued prayers and support.

Perhaps your “Big Star or Bust” journey is different than mine. Your strengths and challenges are unique, but so are your resources. God’s grace is sufficient whether you have a lot or a little. Just keep bringing Him your best, and be willing to accept a little help along the way!

Keep moving forward, and you will find the Prize you seek (Jesus!) if you don’t give up. #bigstarorbust

**********

God, thanks for the gift of laughter amid a potentially difficult season. Thanks for taking good care of us. Help us chase after you with all our hearts. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have a “Big Star or Bust” experience?! How are you pursuing Jesus this week? What does that look like for you?

Task: Whatever challenges you face today, turn your face to Jesus. Seek Him with all you’ve got. He completely understands and will never let you down!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward book, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Food and Nutrition, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

Finding Grace #401

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a great week, full of God’s grace!!

On Sunday, Lydia and I attended a Scotland Forever orchestra concert. It was delightful, and I envisioned God as the Master composer and conductor of our lives. He is faithful and good!

On Wednesday,  I enjoyed talking with a couple of ladies. In each conversation, we talked about our faith journeys. It was so cool to see how God came through for them, and I was able to share my story and book with them, too!

It was a short work week because of Veterans Day (observed on Friday). Lydia and I had a relaxing day after some plans were canceled. We have had colds off and on, so it was so nice to not have a huge agenda. I did some gentle exercise and completed a few chores and paperwork, while Lydia read and played some games on her tablet. It was perfect!

Today, I had to work on actual Veterans Day. I previously traded with a coworker, and I am glad because I had eleven Veterans to chart on, and she is due to have twins any day! It was a lot of work to do solo, but I am glad she didn’t have to do it! It was an honor to serve these heroes today.

After working until 3:00 p.m. today (three hours longer than I expected!), I took Lydia to Chik-Fil-A. She has only been there once and was patient all week… and today, she was waiting for me to finish at work. It was nearly 4:00 p.m. before I had lunch! I had some crackers at work, but hadn’t thought I would need to bring lunch! Oh well, it all worked out just fine, and we went to Kohl’s to make some returns and do a little shopping afterward. 🙂

This week, I made some yummy dishes, which included a pumpkin chili, fresh cranberry applesauce, and a veggie tray! I love this time of year!

**********

These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

This Is The Day

Well, it’s back-to-school season for many of us! I love seeing all the first-day-of-school pictures posted by all my friends and family online.

Lydia is starting middle school tomorrow and will be in a new building this year! I’m glad she can walk to school, just down the street.

We went to her school last night (Tuesday) to find her classes, meet her teachers, and try out her locker. Lydia has classes all over the building, but overall, it should be a good experience. We saw some of her friends, too!

The evening was a blessing because Lydia was a little nervous at dinner, and I encouraged her to make the best of it. But, later when we returned home, we both felt at peace. Her teachers were so friendly! She is right where she needs to be.

Lydia has been looking forward to this day for years. Middle school is an exciting new step, but there will also be new challenges, boundaries, and consequences. I pray she continues drawing close to the Lord and relies on Him for wisdom, courage, and grace!

As you may guess, my heart is also being stretched as Lydia becomes more independent. She has taken on more responsibility around the house but also is becoming her own person outside our home. Thankfully, it’s a normal transition for both of us!

Free Lockers School photo and picture

Considering all the above, I was reminded of an article I read a couple of years ago during the peak COVID years. You can read it here.

Essentially, it is a reminder that each of us was born for “such a time as this” (see Esther 4:14). We can trust God even in uncertainty because none of it surprises Him.

God has a specific plan and purpose for Lydia, but also for you and me. Of course, each generation faces its own trials, but from the beginning of time, each day is already covered with an overwhelming abundance of grace. Life can be difficult, but He equips us to fulfill our calling.

It is natural to want to shield our loved ones from pain and make it easy on them. However, I am reminded that pain is not inevitable. I can’t protect Lydia every moment, but I can trust God. Pain can become a pathway to growth in Him, and His mercies are new every morning.

So whether you are facing middle school or even middle age, rejoice. Today is a day of blessing. God sees you and is for you. He has your back and knows your heart. Let Him direct your path!

**********

God, thanks for carrying us to this point in time and for all Your blessings along the way. Help us to grow in this new day and season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What are you looking forward to in this coming season?

Task: When you feel overwhelmed, remember THIS is the day the Lord has made. This is the year, the season, the month, the week He designed for You. Rejoice and trust in Him!

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Pivot

The End of An Era

This week, Lydia and I are contemplating and celebrating her last days at the YMCA. 

For the last four years, the Y has been a staple in our lives. And now, Lydia has aged out. The transition was necessary, as she is going to middle school in a couple of weeks!

The Y has been a big blessing to us, though Lydia had to make many adjustments. We have seen it at God’s provision and as a proving ground.

Free Crayons Coloring Book photo and picture

We could have skipped the Y this summer, but I wanted to ensure we had a transition point. I didn’t want her staying home alone ALL summer, so I pushed Lydia to make the best of it during the school year so we had the option for summer. Of course, that meant she was the oldest kid there all year!

I encouraged Lydia to mentor the little kids, perhaps like a big sister. I coached her through social issues and asked her to put up with a lot of yelling and heckling. She loves little kids, but it was a stretch for an only child who appreciates peace and quiet! Her POTS and tinnitus was an extra challenge, but she was able to manage.

Sometimes, I spoke to the Y leaders about ways to cope, but they didn’t have much space to discipline the kids. Thus, Lydia and I had lots of character-building talks!

Over the years, Lydia enjoyed many things at the Y that would have been difficult to do otherwise. She learned about different cultures and music, developed her artistic talent, played games and sports, went on field trips, went swimming, and so much more. She ate lots of good meals and snacks, too!

Free Kid Child photo and picture

Lydia’s last day was supposed to be Tuesday, but due to me missing an email, it ended up being Monday. Mainly, she came unprepared for a field trip, and instead of making her go and sit out from the activities, I took her home for the day. 

Understandably, Lydia was a little sad and teary-eyed. While it has been a struggle at times, it has also been a source of stability and familiarity for her. She had some great leaders and made some good friends. It was a growing experience, and she has excelled.

We live nearby to the Y location at her elementary school, but I didn’t have time to run her gear back and forth, or I would have been late to work. So, we made a quick decision to call it good! (I knew I’d pay either way.)

Thankfully, Lydia has learned the ins and outs of staying home alone. While I don’t always like this option and keep it to a minimum, it is necessary at times. My mom has been good to text her during the day sometimes (and Lydia texts her friends). In fact, Lydia feels a special connection and responsibility to check in with those she loves. That’s a bonus!

Free Chalk Sidewalk Chalk photo and picture

As we reflect on all this, I cannot help but be so grateful for God leading us to the Y. Lydia has been there every day after school and on most school-out days or holidays. Having her at the Y has ensured that I can work more hours. I love my job at the VA but would not have been able to meet the demands as it has evolved.

And during the two peak COVID years, the Y was vital. I never missed one day of work because the Y stayed open! Without this consistent childcare option, I would have had to quit working (as many people did). Most other daycare options closed, but the Y prioritized children of ‘essential workers.’ Not having the Y could have been disastrous for me financially, but God protected us from getting sick and made a way for us. All glory to Him!

So, while this feels like the end of an era, it’s really a new beginning. We had challenges along the way, but God was faithful. I know He also will be with us as we keep moving forward. He always is!

**********

God, thanks so much for all your grace, provision, and protection! Thanks for carrying us all this time. As we take our next steps, help us keep leaning on and listening to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Can you see God’s hand at work as you reflect on the last 3-5 years? How has He carried you? How can you keep moving forward?

Tasks: Reflect on your journey with the Lord thus far. Make a list of all you have to be thankful for. Reconnect with Him when your path looks dim. He will come through for you!

 

Posted on in Being Gracious, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Food and Nutrition, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #387

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week went well!

My lawn mower wasn’t working on Sunday. Through a little reading and tinkering, I realized it likely was the carburetor. My neighbor offered to take it in for a tune-up, which was so kind. I called and set it up, and he transported it back and forth. In the meantime, he let me borrow his mower, which was a big help!

We celebrated someone’s birthday at work, which gave us a chance to laugh and connect. I also had a lot of interesting patients, including the one from last week. He seems stable but had some issues with his tube feeding regimen. I worked behind the scenes with the pharmacy since we don’t carry the formula he needed. Thankfully, it all worked out!

On Wednesday, I dropped Lydia off at our church youth group and then went to pick some veggies from a friend’s garden. She was out of town and didn’t want them to go to waste. I picked a zucchini, a few tomatoes, and some peppers. On the way back to get Lydia, I saw two fields of sunflowers, which called my name. I pulled off to get a few pictures, and as I was sitting there, a couple of men drove by. A minute later, one returned to check on me. I appreciated him and did not feel threatened since he never got out of his vehicle. Thanks, Lord!

For Wednesday’s post, I wrote about how friendships are sometimes complicated as we age. They just take more effort because there are more factors involved. Many of my good friends have moved away, so it can be hard to keep putting myself out there when people might leave. Thankfully, Jesus always draws me closer. Furthermore, I aim to be a light wherever God leads me, so I won’t hide away even though that would be easier! 🙂

Today, we stayed home and mostly relaxed. I woke up early, lifted weights, and walked through the neighborhood. It was overcast and I saw some pretty cattails (pic above). Later, I made some fried green tomatoes with my friends’ garden produce! I just added a tiny bit of oil and some Maldon sea salt flakes. So good!

Now, we are enjoying a good thunderstorm. My lawn really needs the water, so I am thrilled. The downpouring rain on my windows means it’s a perfect night for a movie and some popcorn with Lydia!

**********

These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Food and Nutrition, Journey of Grace, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

The last two days, work has been a little hectic. Not bad, just busy.

I already had a full schedule without much time in between patients. And then, I had some unexpected phone calls to return. Phone calls are normal, but these were a little more involved and time-consuming.

I ‘inherited’ a complex patient with many medical problems. I was assigned to take over after they made unfounded complaints about a very qualified coworker. Simply put, the patient’s family did not get the answers they wanted, and sadly, his prognosis is difficult to accept.

This patient requires a feeding tube, but it’s unusual due to how the tube was placed and medical complications (not related to his VA care). To start, the patient has cancer and is undergoing multiple treatments. But the bad news just keeps piling up.

In many ways,  it reminds me of Dave’s own cancer battle… and my emotional reactions. Unfortunately, this patient has even more medical issues, if you can imagine that.

Free Doctor Doctor'S Office photo and picture

So, while I am empathetic towards the patient, he has a lot of needs. I have years of experience to draw upon, but each situation is different. I have fought to get them what they need, but more than once, the family has put me on the spot. While I encourage advocacy for loved ones, I consistently do my best to provide the highest level of care.

In the past, with other patients, I occasionally have been yelled at when trying to get to the bottom of certain challenges. For instance, I won’t order something if it puts the patient at more risk. I wait until I have adequate justification, but patients sometimes argue and make their own decisions anyway (which is their right). While it doesn’t happen often, this week, I felt circumstances were going in that direction.

Even though the patient’s family had been friendly on the phone, they went to other sources to try and get what I wasn’t quite ready to provide. I was still gathering information and needed them to work with me, not against me. Nonetheless, it made me feel like they thought I wasn’t doing my job.

And reflecting on my own journey, I remembered my fight is not against other people (Ephesians 6:12). Still, I dreaded calling the patient again. 

Then yesterday morning, I was in my car getting ready to walk inside to my office. I was stalling by listening to the radio in my car. One of my favorite songs, “Battle Belongs,” by Phil Wickham, came on. (Sample lyrics below)

When all I see is the battle, You see my victory
When all I see is the mountain, You see a mountain moved
And as I walk through the shadow, Your love surrounds me
There’s nothing to fear now for I am safe with You
So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And if You are for me, who can be against me? Yeah
For Jesus, there’s nothing impossible for You
When all I see are the ashes, You see the beauty
Thank You God
When all I see is a cross, God, You see the empty tomb
So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
Almighty fortress, You go before us
Nothing can stand against the power of our God
You shine in the shadow, You win every battle
Nothing can stand against the power of our God
Nurse placed adapter in equipment probe of enteral nutrition, palliative care in hospital, conceptual image, composition hotizontal Nurse placed adapter in equipment probe of enteral nutrition, palliative care in hospital, conceptual image, composition hotizontal enteral nutrition stock pictures, royalty-free photos & images

Singing along, I was gently reminded that not only is God for me, He is also for my patient and his family. Not only is He for us as people, but He is also 100% against cancer. God will always aim for a win-win, and only He has the power to do it time and again!

Yes, I remembered this battle belongs to the Lord. So, I decided to let God fight for me, knowing He is also fighting for my patient. I had a good brainstorming session with two of my coworkers, including the specialist on the case before me. I was still nervous to call, but when I did, a creative temporary solution had already been provided. They were going to try that, and I’ll check back with them later this week. 

It’s still a very tough trial, and short of a miracle, this patient will continue to decline. But, while it’s my job to care for him nutritionally, I also feel responsible to pray for his comfort, healing, and well-being. Similarly, I can respond with grace and compassion, since I know what it feels like when the tables are turned.

Ultimately, Jesus is our living hope. There is no need to fear. We can trust Him in all things because He has already won the war, and our Victory is in Him!

**********

God, You are so good. Thanks for taking good care of all my patients and me. Thanks for fighting our battles, Lord. Help us rely on You and share Your love with others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you ever been in a similar situation, where you are doing your best and people misjudge your effort (or you feel like they are)? How did you handle it?

Tasks: Remember that fear and dread are not from God. Put your trust in Jesus, and watch Him fight your battles.