Category: Fear/Don’t Fake Brave

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

Finding Grace #236

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a good week. I picked up a few extra hours at the VA and had a great time teaching my students. On Labor Day, I was off from the VA, but had two Zoom calls for Concordia. I was glad for the slower pace because the rest of the week was full!

On Wednesday, I mowed the lawn after work. I looked ahead and saw potential rain, so I took advantage of the timing and gorgeous weather. It was cool but calm! Mowing early in the week helped free me up later in the week. It did rain a little, but I also worked extra hours and had a few activities planned with Lydia. 

School went well for Lydia this week! She had fun learning and even was stretched as she tackled some personal fears with success. She seems to be adjusting well!

Today, a friend came over for our writer’s group. We always have fun discussing our ongoing projects. Then, Lydia and I did some cleaning and are relaxing tonight!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer

Come Hell or High Water

Lately, I have seen several 2020 memes with the same theme.

For example: If 2020 were a slide, it would look  like a little boy sliding down a cheese grater. Or, If 2020 were a type candy, it would be black licorice.  There are people that enjoy black licorice, but you get the idea. 🙂

This year has shown us all how unpredictable life can be. It has brought heartache and death, but it also has helped many people reprioritize family, friends, and health, perhaps shifting them to more balance and a slower pace.

Of course, each person has had different circumstances and reactions. For me, 2020 has been helpful to lay aside other people’s random expectations and focus on personal projects and goals. Spending extra time with Lydia has also been wonderful.

One day last week, I was late to pick up Lydia because I had stayed an extra 2+ hours at work unexpectedly. It turned out well, but I wondered if she would be worried about me.

Since I am Lydia’s only parent, she occasionally worries that something might happen to me, too. (I appreciate your prayers for her little heart.) Over time, she has learned to work through her emotions, and she coached herself this time without any issues.

When I arrived at daycare, Lydia asked what took me so long, but wasn’t too rattled, thankfully. Still, in my mind’s I heard myself saying, “I will never forget to come for you. Come Hell or high water, I will be there!” Of course, Mama Bear didn’t actually say this, but it did make me think of a Bible verse I recently read again.

Interestingly, the idiom “Come Hell or high water,” has been around for over one hundred years. But God already beat us to this concept thousands of years ago! Yes, He has been with us through Hell and high water. Of course, Jesus stormed the gates of Hell and conquered Death. Here are a few other examples, too:

The Lord shut the Ark door for Noah, his family, and the animals before the Flood.

God provided a burnt offering for Abraham and Isaac.

God parted the Red Sea and, years later, the Jordan River.

He walked in a fiery furnace with three young Israelite men.

Jesus walked on water and calmed a couple of storms on the Sea of Galilee.

I don’t know how He will come through for you, specifically, this week. But, I know He cares and He will do whatever it takes. He is for you and not against you!

God created fire, Hell, water, and well, everything else. He is still on His throne and remains in full control. Nothing is impossible for Him. He loves a good breakthrough!

This year has certainly been wild, but we can trust that God will keep His Word. He has been with us through it all, and nothing, neither Hell nor high water nor anything else will keep us from His love (Romans 8:38).

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Heavenly Father, thanks for being so faithful. You have proven Yourself over and over, in Hell and in high water! Thanks for being with us. May we trust You in every challenge. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you ever thought about God being with us in Hell or high water? How does that knowledge make you feel today?

Tasks: Read some of the highlighted Scriptures and see how God came through for those in the stories. Trust Him with your story today.

 

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Prayer Precedes Breakthrough

When I think of this next season and semester, I am both excited for the opportunities ahead and a little nervous about how it will all play out. There are so many factors, even under normal circumstances. We have Lydia’s school and my two (part-time) positions, plus social activities and other things. Not to mention Covid-19.

Overall, Lydia and I are just going with it. We will do our best and trust God with the rest. He is with us and for us! We will get through it all with His help.

Prayer is a vital component of staying close to Jesus, and it is also a way to bless others and join God in His work. I certainly am praying for us this semester, but I am also praying for others. I pray for family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and anyone who comes to mind!

When I am driving, I also praise God for all kinds of things I see on my way to wherever I am going. I thank Him for the beautiful day, the lovely trees, colorful flowers, little rabbits, or squirrels, and the sound of birds chirping. It helps me feel His presence.

I pray for random people who look like they need some encouragement, too. I hope others do the same for me. We all need uplifting prayer!

Generally, prayer is the first step, and it needs to be followed-up by action. But sometimes, it is the best we can do in the moment. Loving someone through prayer still invites God to work in their situation.

Once, I saw a lady in a motorized wheel chair who was crossing the street in bad weather. I prayed God would keep her safe and help her feel His love that day.

Recently, Lydia and I saw a man riding his bike. He was riding with an artificial arm, which was quite a feat, but perhaps a little difficult to use. We had a whole discussion about how brave he must be to not give up activities he enjoys just because it is difficult. We prayed for God’s protection in traffic and that he wouldn’t lose his balance or fall.

I have prayed at Target for moms of crying young kids to persevere. I often say a quick prayer for my patients (before they arrive or after they leave). I also pray for people from other cultures or lifestyles different than mine; I want them to feel loved and welcomed.

Even though I don’t know these people I pray for, it is always a good reminder that each person carries great worth. Praying for strangers gets me out of my own little bubble and helps me stay thankful. In many ways, prayer keeps me from being prideful.

Prayer changes us and our environment. Prayer precedes breakthrough.

As we enter this uncertain season, let’s be in prayer for all those around us, whether we know them or not. Sure, we can pray for our own concerns, but perhaps by praying for strangers, we will see our own challenges through another perspective.

And who knows? You may just spread God’s grace and goodness everywhere you go!!

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God, thanks for letting us partner with You in prayer! Give us wisdom and strength as we go through this next season. Help us spread Your love, goodness, and grace to all we come in contact with. Help us be Your Hands and Feet. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you ready for this upcoming season? How can I pray for you?

Tasks: Whether you walk or drive to work, school, or even the grocery store, keep your eyes open for anyone who needs help or prayer. Pray for them, yes, but don’t forget to offer practical support if you can!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Grace Without Bounds

Over the last few months, my family has been enjoying weekly Zoom chats. Thanks to COVID, we’ve grown even closer despite now living in three different time zones!

We sometimes laugh at how odd it is to have my brother and sister-in-law getting ready for dinner and my parents getting ready for bed. It can be hot in Arizona, mild in North Dakota, and raining in Florida (or any other crazy combination). We can all have completely different experiences that day, yet chat online at the same time!

It’s even more mind-boggling that God sees all of us simultaneously. He is not bound by our time zones, location, or weather. He sees each of us and all of us together.

In His perfect time, God tends to each of our needs. He is never late!

The sun never sets on His lovingkindness.

Of course, none of us knows what this next season will bring, but we can rest assured that God does. Trust Him! He is faithful and will never let you down!

God never gets tired and never slumbers (Psalm 121:4). He watches over us each moment with Fatherly love. He protects us and provides for us.

His grace covers everything we do.

God comforts us and gives us peace.

He prepares the path before us and empowers us to move ahead.

Maybe you are pressed for time or have to make big decisions today. You may feel stretched thin, but remember, God does not have the same restrictions or limits. He sees you and knows exactly what you need.

Call out to Jesus when you need help. His grace knows no bounds.

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God, thanks for Your perfect love and peace. Thanks for taking care of us and giving us abundant grace. Please direct us and help us walk the path before us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: God is omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent. Which of these attributes of His is most awe inspiring to you? How can you praise Him today?

Tasks: Thank God for the ways He blesses you today. Let Him direct your path with His perfect timing. Be on the lookout for His grace!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

A Short List

Well, this has been a full week so far. On Monday, I received some awful news that a friend’s brother died in his sleep. A husband and father of two. A beloved son, brother, and friend to many. It was completely unexpected, and it certainly rocked the small community where I grew up. This hit home for many reasons, besides the fact that he was about Dave’s age.

Sadly, this is not the first young man I grew up with, who has suddenly passed away in my peer group or hometown. My dear friend and classmate, Seth, died when we were in high school. In college, my cousin, Nick, died, as well as another friend, Wes. More recently, these premature deaths included another classmate, Clint, and another friend, Ryan, among others. And now, Nathan. All different circumstances, but tragic nonetheless.

I explained a little of my heartache to Lydia, but there is so much she does not yet understand. Even though Dave died when she was little, she doesn’t remember him. She doesn’t feel the anguish I have felt over the years, especially as death steals away those we know and love. Of course, she feels a different pain than I do.

Still, this week has had many silver linings. Celebrating life with Lydia on a fancy dress-up day at daycare. My brother’s birthday. Progress on a couple projects. Cheering a friend on a difficult path. Talking with my family and remembering the brevity of life.

If you are still alive, God has given you much grace and much mercy. I hope you will acknowledge His deep love for you today. Reach out to Him; He is right there with you.

Through several texts, my family had a side conversation about grace and forgiveness, and I was reminded to keep ‘a short list’ with others. We never know when our time is up.

When I think about my interactions with others, I think about how I want to be remembered. What will people say about me when I die? Will it be positive or mixed? Did I focus on what really matters? That is, loving God and loving people.

Furthermore, if my actions today set the stage for how I will be remembered, what should I be doing differently? I want to live my life fully with no regrets, doing all God has for me to do before He calls me HOME. Hopefully, many decades from now!

My ‘short list’ includes extending grace and forgiveness to others; telling my family and close friends how much I love them; encouraging people; staying present with Jesus; and telling others by telling others how He changed my life. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, so do the most important things today!

Indeed, life is so short, and in our current circumstances every situation seems full of drama and uncertainty. This year has been loaded, for sure. It can be scary at times, but, we do not have to fear death or anything else!

We will never have all the answers for why bad things happen. There are so many variables, and the rain falls on us all. The best thing you can do is to let Jesus be your PEACE. He’s got this.

When I meet Jesus face to face, I will give an account about how I lived my life. None of my good works will make a difference for whether or not I get into Heaven. The only thing that matters is if I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior on Earth.

The good things I do will be rewarded, yes, but only if I know Jesus first! We can never be good enough on our own. So, it boils down to this: Knowing Jesus as Lord and Savior.

I am thankful that everything that really matters is secure in Jesus. He comforts us in the midst of tragedies and redeems our pain. Death does not get the final word!

God is Our Rock and Our Refuge. Everything we need is in Him!

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God, thank You for the gift of Life. Please comfort those who are facing grief and loss today. Continue to walk with them and draw them near to You. Pour out Your love on them, Jesus. In Your Name, Amen

Questions: What is on your ‘short list’ in life? How do you want people to remember you? What are you doing differently as a result? (if anything)

Tasks: Call or send a card (or if appropriate, show up!) to comfort those who are struggling right now. This could include grief, loss, physical health, mental health, or other COVID related issues. Be the hands and feet of Jesus!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

Beyond the Spectrum

Recently, I have come across the words ‘spectrum of light’ in two different settings. When repetition happens, I take note. One instance was the Netflix show, “Brainchild.” The episode was discussing electromagnetic energy, gravity, and other forces. Lydia and I like science shows, and it put some things into perspective for me.

Electromagnetic radiation comes in frequencies or wavelengths. Visible light, or ROYGBIV, is only one part of that spectrum. Light is then absorbed by various objects and we see whatever color bounces off. Other frequencies include various radio waves and microwaves. But they all have to do with energy on the same spectrum.

Humans can only see the rainbow colors, but there are ultraviolet and infrared light waves that are invisible to us. These are just beyond the violet/purple and red wavelengths. Ultraviolet light waves are faster because they are short and close together, while infrared light waves are slow and have less energy.

Ultraviolet rays can be harmful. They can cause sunburns, for example, or damage our eyes. But they can also bring health benefits like increasing Vitamin D production.

Infrared rays are often used in night vision for surveillance or tracking wildlife (think nature shows on PBS or Nat Geo). They are also used in weather satellites. Pretty cool!

As I was watching the show with Lydia, I thought about how God designed our eyes.

Interestingly, He gave many animals greater field of vision and the ability to see more colors. Cats and dogs only see certain muted colors, but some birds and spiders can see UV rays. A chameleon can see 360 degrees (yes, a full circle!) as its eyes are near the top of its head. Its eyes can also operate independently of each other!!

This made me wonder… Why did God ‘limit’ our eyesight compared to the animals? Perhaps it was so we could have less distractions… God knows we often need help keeping our eyes focused on Him.

Or maybe it was so we wouldn’t look funny. I’m glad we don’t have bug eyes! 😉

Either way, the rainbow first appears in the Bible as a symbol of God’s faithfulness. For me, I see it as both a reminder of God’s firm promise and a reminder to trust Him.

We can’t see the future or fathom all that is going on around us. We don’t know what tomorrow holds and can’t see how things work out. We can’t fully understand or control each of those circumstances, either!

Sometimes, our limited vision poses challenges for us. We don’t always have the correct perspective. But it can also be a major blessing in that we don’t bear so much responsibility. We don’t hold the weight of the world on our shoulders.

At the same time, there are invisible spiritual forces of good and evil at war. Like many Bible characters, we would probably freak out if we saw these supernatural beings in real life (think four-faced cherubim or the beast from Revelation!).

Someday, in Heaven, we will see the full spectrum of color. We will see everything as it should be. In the meantime, we can still have peace. We can trust Jesus and thank Him for His protection. He’s got this. 

He is light, and He reigns over the darkness, too.

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God, thank you for the beautiful world you have created! Thanks for letting us enjoy all the colors of the rainbow. Thanks for protecting us and providing good things for us. Help us trust You with all we cannot see. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you ever used night vision? Is it easy or difficult for you to trust God when you can’t see how it all works out? (That’s called faith.) 🙂

Task: Read up about these six animals with incredible vision. God is soo cool!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Wisdom

Wiggle It Out

When I was a kid and had a loose tooth, I wiggled it like crazy until it came out. It was a fun challenge and felt like a rite of passage. For Lydia, not so much.

By now, she has lost a number of teeth and should be used to it. But, whenever she has a loose tooth, she gets upset about the impending loss. She feels lightheaded and is worried about the potential pain. Like her dad, she doesn’t like the sight of blood.

So, this last weekend, it all came to a head when Lydia had yet another loose tooth. I convinced her it would come out faster, and cause less pain overall, if she wiggled it.

Well, of course, Lydia grew a little woozy and wanted to stop. I offered to help and/or pull it out and she waffled. I didn’t want to pressure her, so I let it go.

Eventually, after more encouragement, Lydia let me have a turn. Thankfully, it was mostly ready and came out with a little effort. She ran to look at her mouth in the bathroom mirror. She bravely overlooked the small amount of blood.

Soon, Lydia came back to me with a huge smile on her face. She was relieved. With a sigh, Lydia said, “Wow. I feel like a load is off my shoulders!”

A little while later, she came over again and said, “Mom! My new tooth is already poking through. Gosh…. That was fast!”

The new adult tooth was just waiting on the baby tooth to leave!

That night, Lydia and I talked about how her sense relief was far better than her fear. She had been worried but realized she didn’t need to be…

Baby teeth have purpose for a time, before giving way to adult teeth. Losing them is totally normal and natural. Similarly, God’s plan for us also is perfect and purposeful. It doesn’t need to be scary or odd!

Interestingly, on Monday, Lydia was excited to watch me get my teeth cleaned at the dentist! Going to the dentist is kind of uncomfortable, but of course important.

As we drove to daycare and work after the dentist, we talked about teeth and also how fear plays out in other areas of life.

Often, we stop short of what God is calling us to do because we are afraid. We may fear missing out or what is required. We may want to play it safe and stay comfortable.

Still, we cannot have Victory when we give in to fear and doubts. Instead, when we have questions, we can take them to Jesus. In His presence, our worries fade and we grow stronger in faith.

When we let Jesus write our stories, He brings a better outcome than we could have imagined. It may look different than expected, but He always gives us something good.

Sometimes transitions are tough. They might make us wiggle and squirm! But change and growth are always worth it. We don’t have to be afraid.

God is trustworthy and faithful. He has a special purpose for each of us and will never let us down! Now that’s something to smile about!

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Heavenly Father, thanks that Your burden is easy and Your yoke is light. Thanks for doing the most difficult work on our behalf. Help us trust You more and follow Your lead. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is something that you need to let go? Do you need to change your mindset or adopt a better attitude? What about changing your schedule or trying something new?

Tasks: Don’t be afraid of change. Let go of anything that is holding you back. God’s grace is more than enough.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Words

Discussion, Not Division

Well, here we are about halfway through 2020. I don’t think any of us expected it to be like this! So many wildcards… though, I am grateful God can take everything bad and work it for good in His time and in His way. He is faithful!

Lately, I have seen a few posts about how we need to ‘get angry’ and if we don’t speak up, we are part of the problem. On the one hand, I agree. Much of what has happened this year is upsetting and should absolutely be discussed.

But, I don’t make great decisions when I am angry or emotional. “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires” (James 1:20). Besides, we don’t just need words, we need action. We have to make changes that will last.

Sadly, I have seen a number of my Christian friends flat-out argue with each other online about what needs to happen. Some of those are heavy topics, sure, but I hate seeing such division. I’m sure it breaks God’s heart, too.

It’s alright if we disagree! None of us is perfect is or has it all figured out. But we need to take better care of each other… be kind, be patient, listen. A house divided will never stand.

In many ways, it seems we are playing right into our Enemy’s hand, stirring up strife and hatred. Yet, Jesus said the world will know us by our love, not by our arguing.

Ironically, I have also seen several people tell others exactly how they should think or feel, march or protest, vote or use their voice. They have strongly stated it is unChristian or unAmerican to do this or that. This assumes the person agrees and shares their perspective.

This happened to me recently. I was rebuked online for pointing out facts in a news article that was clearly biased. The person said they “just did a quick Google search” to learn about the topic but then posted the article anyway. The topic had nothing to do with this person or where they live, and there is much more to the story than the one article suggested. I gently suggested looking at all the sides before making conclusions, but I received an eyeroll emoji and a strong rebuke.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this is one reason why people stay silent and don’t speak up in public. Yes, that needs to change to some degree. But, it seems we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t!

There are a variety of ways to tackle injustice or use your influence for good. Based on your personality and life experiences, perhaps you are comfortable leading the charge and voicing your opinions. You might have a quick ‘reaction time’ while others have a much slower fuse. That’s great! Just give others time to catch up.

Or, perhaps you prefer to have face-to-face conversations over coffee, volunteer locally, or write to Congress. If you like to work behind the scenes, thank you! We may never see the contribution you are making. I challenge you to speak up in your own way, and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not good enough!

Either way, there are many ways to serve, and each person can make a difference.

It’s okay if you don’t know how to think or feel on a topic. But do your own research.

Consider all angles before making decisions. It is wise to have as many details, pros/cons, and facts as possible. Don’t ask advice from random people on the internet, but do ask people who have experienced what you need to know.

The method may vary depending on the topic. Read your Bible and pray. Research key points through trusted resources, and/or study the science behind whatever you are thinking about. Have a good understanding of the issues at hand. Challenge your own opinions with facts!

Unfortunately, the public tendency to second-guess experts combined with the noise of social media doesn’t help. We can’t rely on easy answers for complex topics.

I have seen differences arise when one person is holding fast to principle while the other person is touting a different perspective. It is quite possible both people are right… Still, we can be compassionate as we seek to learn from each other. Discuss, but don’t divide!

For me, the bottom line is this: We represent Jesus to a world in desperate need of healing. Don’t stand in the way of anyone coming to Him!

Don’t let your behavior (online or in person) prevent anyone from meeting the One who died for them, the One who makes all things right. Find common ground. Use your gifts, talents, and platform wisely. Be an example, don’t turn people off!

Thankfully, in any situation, there is a right way that honors God. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and Life (see John 14:6). Therefore, our goal as Christians is to always find the best path forward (the one that pleases God) knowing He will help us!

This includes a path of humility and open-mindedness. We may have to admit we were wrong, but growth means change is coming! Therefore, let’s embrace the discomfort knowing God is with us and for us.

The path forward ALWAYS promotes peace, justice, love, grace, and mercy.

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Each of us has different goals and plans, but we can support one another and move forward together.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for holding us all together. You are sovereign, and we praise You! Please help us use our words to build each other up and not tear each other down. May we stand firm in what You have called each of us to do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: As you speak with other people, are you letting your emotions get ahead of you? After you leave, are you still telling yourself you are in the right? Or are you able to let it go and praise God?

Tasks: Meditate on these verses: James 1:20; Ephesians 4:29; and Romans 14:1. Consider what you post on social media. Is it to gently inform or encourage? Is it truthful and helpful? Have you fact-checked your sources?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous, Perseverance

Finding Grace #222

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a wonderful week filled with God’s grace! We went to church for the first time in several months. It was great to worship God with other believers. I even met a new friend. She was of a different ethnicity and we briefly introduced ourselves and found out we had many things in common. God is soo good!

I appreciate the feedback I received about this week’s blog post. As Christians, we must speak up for injustice. If not, nothing will change! It took me awhile to form my thoughts (and will continue to do so), but I hope to make it an ongoing conversation with those around me. For instance, Lydia went a friend’s house to play, and I had coffee with the little girl’s mom who is also a dear friend to me. We discussed injustice and other topics, as well.

Early in the week, a friend from work asked to switch on-call weekends with me. She had to attend a funeral unexpectedly today. I asked my mother-in-law to also switch her plans around, so she could come watch Lydia in case I get called in. I was grateful she was flexible, as today, I did need to go in to work!

Today after work, we went shopping for Lydia and bought her some shorts. Next, we went to eat frozen yogurt and then attended the annual Parade of Homes. It is always fun to walk around the fancy houses, but I am also thankful for the house God has given me. I even ran into the realtor who helped us go through the building process ten years ago! She was happy to meet Lydia, of course!

Tonight, we are watching the movie Doolittle (out in 2020). We might also eat some strawberry rhubarb crisp I made earlier in the week!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

See A Victory

“The weapon may be formed, but it won’t prosper
When the darkness falls, it won’t prevail
‘Cause the God I serve knows only how to triumph
My God will never fail
Oh, my God will never fail

I’m gonna see a victory
I’m gonna see a victory
For the battle belongs to You, Lord”

–From “See A Victory” by Elevation Worship

This coming Friday marks seven years since Dave died. It doesn’t seem like it should already be that long, but here we are. I am so grateful for God’s faithfulness.

Lydia continues to process what Dave’s absence means for her. It is an on going development as she learns and grows. We’ve had many in-depth conversations in the last six months, in particular. Thanks for your continued prayers.

It is still bittersweet at times, but I am amazed when I think about how far God has brought us. We have certainly had our battles, but each time, God has come through for us.

Just think: God has never lost a battle. He always claims Victory!

I don’t know what life would be like if Dave were still here. He could still be sick or totally healed. But truthfully, it does me no good to think about all the ‘what ifs,’ and I don’t have time or mental space for that rabbit trail.

What I do know is this: I have seen major Victories in my life that I probably would not have noticed or achieved any other way. For instance, I started this blog and put myself ‘out there.’ I wrote a book (details soon!!!) and started a business. I have continued learning various skills and am teaching others. In the fall, I started an awesome job serving Veterans. I have grown through parenting Lydia. That’s the short list! 

If things had turned out differently, perhaps I would not have been compelled to cling to the Lord in the way I have. And, I would have continued second-guessing myself and my ability. Not anymore!

Becoming who I am now has taken time, effort, and a lot of intention. But, I am not the same person. I am stronger and more stable. I make quicker and more solid decisions, without fearing the outcomes like I used to. That doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes, just that I am more confident when I say YES and when I say NO.

Victory, for me, is choosing faith as my default, not fear.  This big Victory has lead to many smaller Victories along the way. They just keep coming!

As a result, I have much more peace internally. I don’t feel the need to prove myself or do things perfectly. I have stopped putting limits on what I can do! I am happy to be just me, knowing with Jesus, that is enough.

I have also made various lifestyle changes in recent years. I still am involved with several activities, but they are choices I make on purpose. I want to, not I ‘have’ to.

I have taken on more challenges and cool projects as my capacity has grown. We don’t think about grief every day, thankfully, so we are able to handle other things. Plus, Lydia has been able to care for many of her own needs. I still supervise and help, of course.

Lydia and I enjoy doing a lot of fun things these days. When she was little, it felt more like survival mode. She need a lot of care and I was grieving. But now, we are thriving.

For Mother’s Day, on Sunday, Lydia gave me a little book that she filled out all on her own. (Thanks to my mom for buying it and sending it to her!) A common theme was that I have taught Lydia to be brave and not give up. Amen!

Ironically, I could never show Lydia bravery or perseverance if I hadn’t had to face my worst fears. And, I couldn’t do that without Jesus. He taught me what it means to be brave, and now I have the honor of passing those lessons on.

These days, we play games, go on adventures, make food and art together, and laugh a whole lot. On Friday, we will do something fun to celebrate Dave’s life and memory. We may eat his favorite foods, play a game, or go on a walk.

I will also give Lydia a special gift in Dave’s honor. He would be so very proud of her.

Loving Jesus, and living a fun, adventurous faith-filled life… a wholehearted Victory!

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Heavenly Father, all praise and honor to YOU!! Thanks for all the Victories in my life (including many more I haven’t mentioned here!). Help me continue to trust You for greater things! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What Victories have you seen in your life this year? What would you do if you had unlimited resources and there was no way you could fail?

Tasks: Listen to “See A Victory” by Elevation Worship. Trust God and make bold moves today. We cannot lose with Jesus on our side! He has never lost a battle! Victory is His!