Comfort Amid Grief

Sometimes you are in the right place at the right time, and sometimes, that place is church! This past Sunday, I had a God moment at church that I want to share with you.

About a year ago, I met a woman and her husband. They had been watching online through much of COVID, but I met them the first Sunday they decided to “try out” our church in person.

They were really sweet, and I was glad to meet them. Flash forward to the present, and the husband’s dementia has progressed. He is now in a nursing home, about an hour and a half away. His dear wife visits him every other day, though he does not fully recognize her.

I have encouraged this wife whenever I see her; she has become a friend. Though my experience was with cancer, I know how it feels to be a caregiver and decision maker in an end-of-life situation. Watching your beloved spouse decline is difficult, and I have been cheering her on.

So, when I saw this lady on Sunday, I stopped to greet her after the service. She was so happy to see me and shared how she had been struggling. I affirmed her statement that she is already grieving, though her husband is still alive. I agreed with her sentiment that she hopes he “goes soon” rather than have this continue over months or years. (Either way, we know he is in God’s hands and that his suffering is not in vain.)

I listened while my friend conveyed her lack of motivation. In these challenging times, I confirmed it is normal to need to get groceries but feel overwhelmed leaving the house; or, to finally prepare a meal but have no desire to eat it.

She mentioned she keeps forgetting about a support group at the VA (where I work), and I coached her with some tips. Marking her calendar in advance, while she is thinking about it, might help her not feel surprised whenever she gets a same-day reminder.

I also offered to help connect her with someone at the VA who could help guide her through the funeral and cemetery details (when the time comes). As she talked it through, she started to smile, and I could see her burden was lifted a little.

I gave this dear woman a big hug, and she just fell into my arms. I prayed for her on the spot, and she just melted in surrender. Not that my words were so deep, in fact, they were rather simple, but she felt seen and understood. She said it was just what she needed.

We only talked for a few minutes after the service, but it felt like a God-ordained moment for both of us. I am grateful He has used my story and experiences to help and guide others along the way.

I was reminded that we don’t JUST go to church to worship God but to be His hands and feet. My friend said, “And to think, I wasn’t even feeling up to coming today. I was going to stay home and watch online. But now, I am so glad I came.”

2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT, says that God “comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

During the well-timed sermon, our pastor mentioned this all is like a game of tag. God comforts us…and then it’s our turn to comfort others with the peace, strength, and grace He has given us. Tag! You’re it!

So, don’t discount your story or experiences. God can use all your pain, grief, and life’s ups and downs to make something beautiful… if you let Him!

**********

God, thanks for my friend. Would You please encourage, strengthen, and comfort her? Please meet her needs (spoken and unspoken) and remind her of Your grace and love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you seen God at work in your life story? Have you seen Him use your pain and grief in someone else’s life?

Task: Listen to this song! God will never fail you, no matter what.

Pivot

It’s only the middle of the week, but already it has been jam-packed with God’s grace! I have had so many connections with people, including family, friends, and Veterans.

Almost all of the conversations, however, have been unplanned. It always seems these types of things go in spurts. I usually have fairly routine interactions with people, but sometimes they go into overdrive! I’ve had heartfelt conversations with family and coworkers and some breakthrough sessions with patients.

This week, I also met with a recently widowed mom from church. She reached out and just needed a little direction. She has been reading my book, and I am so glad God is using my painful grief experiences to help her. We went to dinner and had so much fun! I’m sure we will do it again soon.

In order to meet with this friend, though, I had to figure out what to do with Lydia last minute. Thankfully, she had been with another family that day (for an art class and swimming), so she was able to stay a little longer with them. She ate dinner with them and attend one of their son’s baseball games. Whew!

It takes a village, and I was grateful. God organized all the details for me, so I could do what He wanted me to do. I also have made plans with a couple of other friends and families later in the week. Summer is in full swing!

Over and over, this week, it seems like I have been in the right place at the right time. It’s cool how when God does something big in our lives (or those we know), it helps others have faith, too. They see a breakthrough and trust Him for greater things in their lives!

Free photos of Dortmund hbf

I usually try to be flexible, as much as I can, so I am available to serve those around me. But, sometimes it bites me. What I mean is that I try to bend in so many ways, that I can’t meet everyone’s needs or timing. Either I stress about it or I have to say no when someone needs help.

I have learned that’s okay. I don’t have to stand in God’s place! Only He can be all things to all people! I just have to be willing to pivot when God needs me. We can choose to have a good attitude and take it in stride, or we can drag our feet.

Isn’t God good to lead us? If we walk closely with Him and move when He needs us to move, we will never be out of step. He teaches us not only to pivot, but He also helps us navigate tricky situations. Sometimes that means repentance (confessing wrong choices and going the opposite direction) and sometimes it means opening up ourselves to new challenges and blessings.

In fact, you have likely had to make many pivots in the last two years alone. We’ve seen a wild collection of health issues, finances, politics, elections, and the economy!

But, remember this: A pivot is more than just fancy footwork. It opens up new opportunities and blessings! So, check your attitude and keep moving forward!

When plans change and we need to pivot, we also see God’s faithfulness. He is still in control and still at work in us and around us.

So, we don’t need to fear saying yes to God, and we don’t have to fear when He says no on our behalf. We can trust Him; He has us covered!

**********

God, thanks for working on our behalf and helping us pivot when needed. May we hear Your voice above all the chaos and even our own desires. Help us stay in step with You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you good at switching plans at a moment’s notice? Or is it more of a challenge for you to pivot?

Tasks: Next time you need to change last-minute plans, ask yourself whether God Himself is asking you to pivot. Let that process direct your attitude. Serve with gratitude that He has a bigger purpose!

Bedtime Bombshells

Other children at bedtime: “I’m thirsty. It’s dark, I can’t sleep. I’m not ready for bed.”
 
My conscientious child: “Mom, can you set up these child protections because I keep wanting to use the iPad when I know I shouldn’t, and I don’t want to lie when you ask me about it.”
Thankfully, our nightly routine is a place of safety and trust! I don’t always feel prepared for these ‘bedtime bombshells,’ but I lean on God’s wisdom as I chat with Lydia.
(Regarding the tablet, I do monitor her usage, but together we decided this was a good opportunity to practice self-control, so we decided to try moving the tablet to make it less convenient and see if she is able to regulate herself. We will revisit the topic soon.)
Upon further discussion about why this was bothering her, Lydia said, “Well, Jesus can come back at any time, and I don’t want to be caught doing something that’s wrong.” This led to a great discussion about God’s grace and mercy, and the difference between the two!
 
Then, that led to questions about friends who swear and do other questionable things but say they go to church. These are not Lydia’s closest friends, though it really bothers her at times when they are disrespectful. “If they really knew God, would they act like that?”
Flowers, Plum Blossom, Spring, Petals, Seasonal, Bloom
We discussed that all of us have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Jesus is the only Way to Heaven (John 14:6), and despite all the good or bad things we do, none of us are deserving. Perhaps Lydia’s friends are unaware of God’s love for them. One way to know God’s people is that they should become more like Him over time.
Then, Lydia said, “When I get to Heaven, I am going to ask God why He didn’t just start over and make everyone love Him?” We discussed how robotic love is not really love at all.
“Ah, well, God can do anything, so He could do that,” she said. I told her there are some things God cannot do such as lie. We have to listen to God’s voice so we are not misled by Satan’s lies and evil schemes. That’s why these conversations with her are so important!
She realized, “Wow, that’s right! I guess there’s no treadmill of love forcing everyone to love God and each other. We have to make a choice.”
We also discussed the ‘common grace’ that God gives to everyone to draw us closer to Him. Some examples include beautiful sunrises and nature, our conscience, laughter with family and friends, safety, etc. God wants each of us to know Him, so we should pray for all our friends and show them God’s love. Yes, it’s the kindness of God that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).
We discussed how some people are afraid of God, but they don’t need to be because He is love. Then, Lydia saying, “I bet they haven’t read Revelation!” Which, of course, led to an End Times discussion about the Rapture and the Antichrist! Lydia understands it is important to be prepared, yet she is also concerned for her friends who are unaware.
I am grateful for my wise and thoughtful girl! What an interesting conversation!
This coming weekend marks the ninth anniversary of Dave’s death and entrance into eternity. The conversations above are all the more important to me because (with God’s salvation and grace), it’s on me to make sure Lydia knows the Way to Heaven by pointing her directly to Jesus! In some ways, my goal is to finish what Dave and I started. 
When I think of the last nine years, I see both desperate struggle and overwhelming Victory. Praise God for carrying us this far. He cannot be anything but faithful and good to us, because that’s Who He is!
While I don’t know what’s going on in your life today, I do know God cares all about you and your problems. He is trustworthy and true, so bring Him your fears and concerns.
God can handle all your questions, too. Believe me, I know. Besides, He won’t make you run on an endless treadmill to earn His love!
**********
God, You are so faithful and good. Thanks for your lovingkindness to us! Help us spread Your love and grace to others. Help us show them Who You are. In Jesus’ Name Amen
Questions: What is your favorite Bible verse? Do you enjoy walking or running on a treadmill? If not, is there a different piece of exercise equipment you enjoy more?!
Tasks: Pray for your friends and family who don’t know Jesus. Set a good, loving example of Who He is… sometimes, we inadvertently turn them “off” because of how we act!

On Encouraging Ourselves

Recently, Lydia and I have been watching a cute show on Netflix called, “Old Enough.” It’s about young Japanese children (ages two to around six or seven) going on “first errands” to help their families in some way.

The kids are not truly alone, as the camera crew is following them from a distance. But in most cases, the crew is not supposed to interact with the children. It is quite impressive to watch these adorable kids, but I cannot imagine us doing that in America!

On the show, we’ve watched a little boy take fish to the fishmonger; kids going to buy a few grocery items; prepare hot tea and a snack for the family; bring lunch to dad at work on the boat; or take flowers to grandma. Some have special handmade flags to help people see them cross the road and others just raise their hands high. Sometimes they walk and sometimes they run the whole way. They usually look both ways several times!

Boy, Picnic, Ruck Sack, Child, Walk, Japanese, Asian

Of course, there are often challenges with making decisions or trying something on their own. While errands and places are familiar, the little kids (toddlers, even!) don’t always know what to do. They aren’t sure which bus to ride (solo!!) or which brand to buy. Some of the kids ask for help reaching items or choosing between options, and some use old-fashioned ingenuity. Only a couple of little ones have wandered home sadly before going out to try again. Impressive!

As you can imagine, the child may not feel up to the task. After a little coaxing or a pep talk, they are on their way determined to make their family proud. Occasionally, the episode has two little friends working together. They keep each other on task and in line. Some are shy and some are extraverted, but they all figure it out in the end. They are heartwarming and adorable to watch!

What stands out to me is that all the kids encourage themselves along the way. On their way, they tell themselves all sorts of things such as, “I can do it. I am confident and determined. I’m brave. Let’s go! I am capable. This is fun. I’m smart! I did it! I’m tired, but I can rest at home. Mom will be happy with me!” One little girl even held her hand up to her ear like a phone and pretended to tell her mom how well she was doing!

If you haven’t already seen the show, “Old Enough,” I recommend it! Lydia has a fascination with Japan anyway, so the culture, religion, housing, and eating habits have been good talking points!

  I love how the kids on the show encourage themselves when they are afraid, lonely, or unsure. That’s because even as adults, we don’t always get it right! When we are hungry, afraid, lonely, tired, unsure, or under pressure, we tend to get off track. Our thoughts and emotions can lead us astray, so we assume the worst about ourselves or our situation!

Thankfully, we have a good example in the Bible because King David took a different approach. When he faced hardship, loss, and near-mutiny, he encouraged himself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:6). He strengthened himself, not with his own laurels, but with God’s Word and promises to him.

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with encouraging and motivating yourself. (We can’t always rely on others to do that for us!) But in the end, we can’t forget to trust God and seek His truth in our circumstances. Let’s encourage ourselves based on who God says we are!

**********

God, thanks for the people of Japan and the joy of children as they do big things. Bless them and show them who You are. Also, help us to encourage ourselves with Your grace and Truth. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Have you seen any positive, funny, or heartwarming shows lately?

Tasks: Review this throwback blog post and this one, too for some good resources on the same topic!

If You Could Not Fail

A question popped into my mind this week while I walked down a hill to my car after work: What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

While the weather was good and the street was dry, I was thinking about how that particular path gets icy and I usually walk like a penguin in an attempt not to fall. I’m happy to report I haven’t wiped out yet!

By the time I reached the bottom of the hill, which leads into the parking lot, I had to laugh. If I knew I would not fail, or, fall, maybe I would skateboard or roller skate down the hill. Or, ski or sled depending on the weather and season!

Skater, Graffiti, Lifestyle, Athletic, Man, Skateboard

I tend to be rather cautious by nature, which usually serves me well, but occasionally this causes me to make more safe choices rather than bold ones.

I’m not surprised Lydia is like me in that. I have just learned to take it in stride and deal with fear more effectively. Thank God!

She missed out on another opportunity this week because of fear. It was basically a repeat at the gas station, as before. She wanted a treat, and I agreed if she would go in and get it herself. I gave her a few dollars and a deadline. I was pumping gas, so she had a brief few moments to decide. Well, she didn’t budge…

But, after watching the TrueGirl Miriam Bible study about courage, I gave her another chance. This time, she did it with flying colors… and realized it was way easier than she thought.

Then, we thought of the situation from God’s perspective. I had provided the money and resources for Lydia to get what she wanted. I even positioned her for success and drove her up the door! But, she had to make up her mind and get out of the car.

For me, this all was just a good heart check. God provides for us and positions us for His plan. With His presence and power, we cannot truly fail long-term, though we may fall down occasionally. But, we still have to make up our minds and obey.

Ultimately, we have to step out in faith (or skateboard or ski), making it a regular habit. If we don’t, fear will become the default.

Thankfully, God never gives up on us. He is the God of second chances!

**********

God, thanks for second chances and for setting us up for success. Thanks that we don’t have to give in to fear. Help us step out by faith, even when we may fail, knowing You will catch us and redirect us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Are you running on faith or fear?

Task: Stay close to the Lord so you can refill your faith and navigate fearful moments.

Finding Grace #316

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Trees, Grass, River, Lake, Sky, Clouds, Spring, Wild

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a busy week, but still good! I had some earlier mornings to run time-sensitive errands before work. We also had some later evenings with errands, activities, and even a couple of appointments. All of that translated to less sleep, too!

Lydia and I went back to the chiropractor on Monday evening. Every appointment has been a little better, so that is good. Occasionally, I am still feeling a little random pain, but it is much lighter and less often than I have grown used to! I am catching myself when I start to slouch or get out of alignment. Also, we are stretching out the time between appointments now so that is a great sign everything is going well!

Work went well, and I was quite busy with back-to-back appointments! Specifically, on Wednesday, I didn’t have time for a lunch break until 3:10 p.m. So, I just had a snack then and saved my lunch for dinner. That was somewhat helpful because we also had church in the evening, and I didn’t have to decide what to eat.

On Thursday evening, Lydia and I attended an online Bible study together about courage. The study is about Miriam (Moses’ sister) and is led by the ladies at True Girl ministries. We missed the study on Monday night, so this was the replay. My takeaway for the week: We are not courageous on our own, but it comes from God. Also, courage requires obedience. We have to obey the Lord and do what He asks us to do.

Then, on Friday, instead of my half-day, I ended up working a whole day! I agreed to stay later for an ‘active shooter’ police training. A little scary but important in my federal position. I learned a lot, and also realized how much I don’t know. Bottom line: Run, Hide, Fight is the best approach, and putting space and distance between yourself and the aggressor increases your chance of survival. Then, the training went longer than expected, and I was asked to help with some inpatient charting. It was a good, unexpected day!

The weather was warmer at the beginning of the week and melted most of the snow. I don’t have any more snow in my yard! Yesterday, it was chilly and windy and is the same today. No worries… we still have sure signs of spring!

Today, Lydia and I are doing our “Saturday tasks” as we usually do. This often includes reorganizing, cleaning, catching up, or getting ahead for the next week! Otherwise, we are enjoying the beautiful, sunny day! 🙂

**********

These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

On Hearing God’s Voice

Recently, Lydia asked me a really great question: “How do I know if it is my conscience speaking or God?”

Well, it’s not always an easy answer. Generally, most of us won’t hear an audible voice!

But, I told Lydia God can communicate with us in a variety of ways. He can use circumstances, subtle impressions, our pastors, podcasts, billboards, books, songs, strangers, friends, family, enemies … really, just about anything to get our attention.

In the Bible, God even used a talking donkey (Numbers 22)! It’s so funny how Balaam just answered his donkey… like it was a completely normal occurrence!

Radar, Radar Dish, Earth Station, Fuchsstadt, Reception

So, Lydia and I talked about the art of discernment, which basically means deciding between two or more good options (what is good versus what is best). It does take wisdom to see all the different angles. Often, NOT making a decision is the same as deciding against it.

There are several ways to discern between options, and it is important to seek God’s input. We can review what the Bible says on the topic at hand, and we can check our motives. God won’t ask us to go against His Word, and our conscience is from Him.

Of course, we should pray and seek wise counsel. The Holy Spirit is within us to teach us, lead us, and show us the Truth. We can also learn from people with experience beyond ours. These may include a godly family member, a pastor or counselor, or a trustworthy friend. Is there someone who has a history of making good, wise decisions that turn out well?

We can make a pros-and-cons list, too. Sometimes there are good reasons for and against a certain option. But, seeing the ideas on paper helps us decide what the most important factors are. Is there one that is time-sensitive or weighs more heavily than the others? 

Sound, Wave, Audio, Frequency, Spectrum

I love how we can look back to see the trail of God’s faithfulness over time. He may decide to do something completely new, but there may be a pattern we can learn from as we move forward. Trust God to equip you and put you in the right place at the right time!

Of note, it is easier to hear from God if we are in the habit of listening to Him. Let’s tune our spiritual eyes and ears to Him, so we can see Him at work around us and hear His song (Zephaniah 3:17).

God also speaks to those who make the effort to know Him and seek Him out. Then, we are more likely to honor Him as we listen and obey.

Ultimately, PEACE is the final indicator for whether or not to do something. If you don’t have peace, then that’s your answer… don’t do it. Sometimes, there is peace in the presence of fear (that’s courage). Do it afraid!

When the way seems impossible and we want to give up, we have to choose faith over fear. That’s why good decisions often take time. Rushing means our emotions may still be all over the place.

For me, the sense of desperation is usually a red flag. So, it is good to be calm and clear-headed before making a decision. Especially if there is a lot at stake! 

Finally, we have to accept responsibility for our decisions and live with the consequences. Sometimes, there is an obvious win-win and sometimes we just have to make the best decision we can. Consider disconnecting from all the ‘noise’ of music, television, and social media so you can hear God more clearly.

We may not have all the answers or know all the details, but we can always take the first step, trusting God will redirect us and make our path clear (Proverbs 3:5-6). If we’re open to what He wants in our lives, He will make sure we know what that is!

**********

God, thanks for filling us with the mind of Christ! We don’t have to be confused or concerned. You will tell us what we need to know and when. Help us to listen, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What’s your experience in listening for God’s voice? Is it easy for you to understand what He is saying? How can you get better at this?

Tasks: Read Psalm 29:3-5 and Jeremiah 33:3. Next time you are faced with a big decision, try some of the ideas above to help you discern what to do! Remember to follow the way of peace!

Resolute

What a difference a week can make. The news about Ukraine is heartwrenching and horrible. The citizens are experiencing so much devastation and loss, but they are rallying. I am praying for wisdom, discernment, courage, peace, and protection there.

I am grateful for the unprecedented unity shown so far in Europe and pray it makes a difference in the outcome. I am also praying for our American role in all of this. We don’t know the best way forward, nor what the future holds… but God does.

We are collectively holding our breath to see what happens next, yet this present conflict is not a surprise to our Heavenly Father. It surely breaks His heart, but He is still in control. Nothing catches Almighty God off guard, and nothing can separate us from His unfailing love!

Sunflower, Yellow, Flower, Pollen, Petals, Bloom

As we start the season of Lent today, I am reminded of the sacrifice(s) Jesus made for us, and the sacrifice we are called to make, too. Are you ‘giving up’ anything for Lent? I am grateful to have the privilege of time to think about my many options, as I am sitting still, safe and warm, not fleeing for my life.

Being a Christian is a daily commitment and a call to war, at least in the spiritual sense. It’s not about “fire insurance,” comfort, or even finding significance, though in America, sometimes we forget. Nonetheless, we must not run away in difficult times but remain resolute in our faith. That doesn’t mean we don’t struggle, but we rely on God’s strength and power.

Thus, we don’t have to be afraid when the world is in chaos. We should expect tumultuous times, though not pursue them. But, ultimately, everything we do should be centered on Jesus Christ. That includes prayer, giving generously, and seeking the good of others. Yes, we bring the light of Jesus into the darkness of the world.

In areas where there is darkness vs. light conflict, people tend to come to Jesus en masse. Time and again, traumatic experiences and persecution make people crave “more” than what is in front of them. People become desperate, even when following Jesus puts them at greater risk. Do you and I chase after Jesus like that?

In countries where the Gospel (good news!) is forbidden, these followers share Bibles and meet in secret. They bravely choose Jesus. It’s rather convicting to consider that sometimes, I am running out the door on a prayer.

I’m sure you can relate, but the point is we need to be prepared for trials and tribulations because they are coming. We can’t afford to ‘just get by’ when it comes to prayer or other spiritual matters… we need to be in our Bibles and on our knees before God.

Maybe your personal time and comfort is something to sacrifice, for Lent, to start.

You know, we do not fight as the world does; we level up in prayer. Therefore, our hope is not in anything this world has to offer. Jesus is our Rock, our Savior, and our Defender, a strong tower in times of need.  Our Hope and our Victory are in Him alone.

The One who calls us to be holy and humble, righteous and faithful, just and peace-loving is also the One who calls us to stand firm and fight evil, to be strong and not give in to fear. Holy Spirit, empower us.

Ephesians 6:10-13, NIV says,Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

Psalm 27:13 says, Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me, In this I will be confident...”

Friends, this world is going to burn someday, but our Hope is unwavering… resolute.

**********

Jesus, Prince of Peace, we need You! Come quickly, Lord! Lead us and guide us. Give us wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it. Refine us during this time as we bring Your light to the darkness of this world. Help us stand firm and walk in Victory. In Your Name, Amen

Question: Are you prayed up and prepared to stand firm during your next trial?

Task: Set aside time every day for prayer and Bible study. Be willing to do the difficult thing. Get up early, first things first. Turn off music, media, and anything else that threatens to take your focus. This is vital.

Finding Grace #312

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Bridge, Wooden, Winter, Snow, Mountains, Poland, Wood

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

Overall, this was another good week, though it was sad and heavy at times due to foreign events in Ukraine. I was leaving a store yesterday afternoon thinking about traffic and ‘all’ I had to do. But, then the thought occurred to me, “I am not getting bombed and I am not fearing for my safety. I’m fine.” I’m keeping Ukraine in prayer.

This week, I decided to forgo a doctor’s appointment for my toe because it is pretty close to healed. I don’t know if there’s anything else that can be done for it, so I canceled the appointment. It turned out to be a good idea because it was a busy work week and I was able to use that time for charting.

I enjoyed the ladies’ group at church and was able to connect with a new widow friend. It is a tough road to walk, but I hope to encourage her as best I can.

I talked with a friend about this week’s blog post on bravery. We discussed some kid-friendly resources, so I ordered a few workbooks for Lydia and me to try! I hope to review them for you soon!

This morning, I was on-call for work but did not get called in. I got up early and was ready to go, but I am glad I was able to relax. Later, Lydia was invited over to a friend’s house, so I had the afternoon and early evening to myself!

Early in the week, we had off for a blizzardy President’s Day. Then, Lydia was off due to the same blizzard on Tuesday. It was cold early on, but today, it was finally in the 20s or so above zero! It was so pretty and felt great!

**********

These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Brave, Smart, or Kind

Do you ever try to talk yourself out of decisions? Or is that just me?

Last week, I had said I would attend an event but was on the fence about actually doing so. Even though I wanted to go, I kind of didn’t want to go. Sometimes it’s an introvert thing and sometimes it is a fear thing… honestly, it may be both.

I was raised to honor commitments, but even so, I was trying to think of other things to do! It’s cold. It’s dark. I’m tired. I’m busy and want a break. I need to, I should…

Most of these were excuses, which should have been my first clue. Though, a couple of possible solutions did pop into my head. One, I could have practiced for the next day’s presentation at work; that would have been smart. And, two, I could have checked in on a friend who is a new widow and single mom; that would have been kind.

Sensing a teachable moment, I asked Lydia, “Should I do something brave, smart, or kind?” And then, I told her about these three ideas also explaining that all of them were good options.

It was a good, better, best type of moment. There wasn’t an obviously wrong answer.

Path, Feet, Shoes, Road Surface, Direction, Arrow

I loved Lydia’s response: “I think you should do the brave thing and go. You can probably practice later, and maybe you could show your friend kindness in some other way. But this is the only chance to be brave.”

We discussed it further and we agreed. I didn’t really need to practice much for my presentation since it is a very familiar nutrition topic. Often, I joke that I could do that while asleep! I talk about it more or less every day, so I know it inside and out.

And, while I didn’t tell Lydia this, I had already reached out to my widow friend. I wanted to be open in case God had our paths cross that night and she wanted to talk. But, I also wanted to give her some space since she has been overwhelmed. Of course, there is a balance and the key is listening to the Holy Spirit’s timing. He did not have our paths cross that night.

Basically, since I was at risk of chickening out, I knew I needed to do the brave thing and show up. Fear is so subtle isn’t it?! Faith is the only way forward!

I can do difficult things, and I am so glad I did. I had a great time and shared a lot of laughter with some really sweet ladies. If I had chosen an option other than bravery, I might have missed an opportunity to meet new friends. Or, it might be even more difficult or awkward the next time. The first step is always the hardest!

Be, Brave, Svg, Motivation, Courage

Then, a few days later, Lydia chickened out several times all within the same day.

For example, I asked her to stand in a separate grocery line and make a purchase (on her own, while I was nearby), but she didn’t. In another instance, she completely missed out on a fun reward because she stalled and didn’t get out the door in time. Fear had her stuck in her tracks. 

When we discussed it, she said, “I’m just afraid of everything!” This stood out to me because it is uncharacteristic of how she normally acts… and I can totally relate.

In fact, I was able to share a little of my story and my fight against fear. Even as a young child, I was afraid. Fear was always an undercurrent, but difficult for me to fully identify and deal with. So, it was interesting how I could recognize the lies and reframe them for Lydia.

I explained that Jesus set us free from fear, and now we don’t have to be afraid. Fear is normal, but we don’t have to dwell on it or stay in that mindset. We have to challenge our fears in order to keep moving forward!

It’s as if we are sitting in a jail cell feeling sorry for ourselves when the key is in the door standing wide open. I’m sure God is like, “Hello!!! I already did the difficult work! All you have to do is walk out and be free!”

Jesus is so much more than our ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card.

Fearful events happen all around us. We can’t always get away from every obstacle. But, over and over in the Bible, God commands us, “Do not be afraid.” So, it seems we are responsible for not giving in to fear and staying stuck. God always provides a way to move forward, if we are willing to be brave.

There are several ways we can combat fear. We can pray for help, quote a Bible verse, ask a friend to come with us… but ultimately, we need to show up and do the difficult thing anyway. We won’t always get it right the first time, but as long as we stand in faith, we win!

Often, we have to challenge ourselves with little scary tasks so we are prepared when the big ones come! Thus, Lydia and I decided to work toward this together and keep each other accountable. I will be presenting small ongoing weekly challenges to build her up for the future. I’m still sorting out what that looks like!

I’m her mom, yes, but I know all too well what happens when we give in to fear. Over time, it becomes a stronghold and I will not allow that on my watch!

**********

God, thank You for setting us free from fear so we can walk in Your grace and Truth. We praise You because we don’t have to be afraid!! Open our eyes to the lies we believe so we may challenge them and keep moving forward. We have Victory! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How have you been brave, smart, or kind this week? Has it been easy or a challenge? What will you do differently next time?

Tasks: Challenge your fears, and do it afraid! Watch The Pilgrim’s Progress, which is based on the classic story by John Bunyan. It highlights several of the lies we believe in our Christian walk.