Category: Fear/Don’t Fake Brave

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Worship

A Note to My 29 Year-Old Self

This week I am celebrating! Not only is it my birthday week, it’s also the one year mark of making my blog public. Can you believe it?! I feel it is still a work in progress, but I am so grateful for you all. Thanks for sticking with me! 🙂

birthday candles

Dave often celebrated my birthday week. That’s because one year, he forgot the exact date and decided to give me gifts every day! He was pretty smooth like that.

These days, celebrating my birthday, like many other things, is different without him.

Typically, I’ll eat lunch with a friend, talk with lots of friends and family, and get a massage. This year, I am also taking Lydia to a local (minor league) baseball game. She’s been asking to go all summer, and the fireworks at the end might be a special perk!

Around my birthday, I like to look back on the last year and set some goals for the next. For whatever reason, this week I also considered all that has happened since moving to Fargo six years ago this month. It’s bittersweet.

Grace mug_Eph 2-8

I have noticed many major life events have occurred since my 29th birthday. In short:

I was twenty-nine when Lydia was born. While Dave and I were thrilled to be parents, the sleeplessness threw us for a loop! Five months later, we were just starting to sleep well when Dave was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. After 364 days of fighting cancer with Dave, I became a widow and single mom at the age of thirty.

Hence, the last few years have been a continual adjustment (and readjustment). So much has changed. But far be it from me to complain!

chocolate cupcake

Have you ever wished you could tell your former self how something works out? Hindsight brings clarity! I can’t explain it all in a simple blog post, but God has been so good to us.

Someday I’ll have all the words… but not today. So for now, with much gratitude, here’s a note I wrote to my 29 year-old self!

Hello, dear Self,

I know you cannot comprehend all that the next few years entail. You can’t possibly fathom the pain and struggles that lie ahead. But God does—and He’s got this.

You don’t realize this now, but fear has been a constant presence lurking in the back of your mind. It limits your decisions at times.

Yet God knows this—and He’s going to free you from all your fears. What’s more, as He destroys old mindsets, you will learn to walk in Victory. The whole process will certainly be scary, but He will lead you through. Trust Him!

Sometimes, this journey will make you question everything you believe about God. But He is big enough to handle your doubts and fears, your anger and resentment.

He’s got this.

There will be moments you can barely breathe. You won’t know how you’re going to make it. When you think you cannot take anymore, you’re right. But take it to Jesus. He is your hope and firm anchor. Let Him carry the burden for you. He cares for you deeply and knows exactly what you need.

When you feel like giving up or running away, stand firm. The battle belongs to the Lord. He is your shield, your protector, and your defense. He’s got you covered!

When everything falls apart, you will see God holding together what remains. He is your rock and your salvation! Everything that really matters is secure in Him.

Yes, dear Self, life gets rough up ahead. It can feel quite heavy at times. But don’t worry. God’s got this! In fact, there is much good along the way.

New goals and dreams, new purposes and plans. Long-awaited answers to prayer.

God will use these experiences to show you just how much He loves you. He will prove His love and power are stronger than any difficult thing you will (ever) face.

 And yes, He’s absolutely got this!

It won’t be easy, but in time, you will see the pattern of grace. From this side of it all, it actually IS amazing. When the dust settles, you will be grateful. And despite all odds, you will still wake up with wonder at this life you get to live. What a gift!

What felt like defeat, was really training grounds for a new path. Where there was doubt, trust will deepen. In place of despair, hope will rise. In the midst of pain, you will find peace and beauty. You will flourish!

Praise God—He’s got this!

So do not be afraid, dear Self. You are always loved, never alone. God will not falter. His mercies are new every morning, and His grace is more than enough.

Keep your head held high, because the best is yet to come. God is working all this for good, even when you don’t see how. It will be beyond your wildest imagination!

Seek God’s grace and goodness each day. Rejoice in the Lord’s unfailing love and faithfulness! Most of all, hold on tight to Jesus.

Cling to Him for He is your strength and your life.

And you know what? He’s got this!!

XOXO,

Your 30-something Self

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Gracious God, thank You for bringing me through with Victory. I celebrate your loving kindness—You are so good to me! Bless this next year and help me live for you! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you ever written yourself a note like this? What words of wisdom would you write?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous

Ctrl+Alt+Del

This week, my Monday turned a little chaotic. Mostly, I tried to do too many things at one time. But a good portion of the frenzy was related to computer problems! I am good with daily computer tasks, but on Monday, I was out of my element!

computer connections

Earlier in the day, I sat at the bookstore where I had a meeting and then did some writing. I made great progress until my laptop battery died. Thankfully, I had just saved my file.

No problem!

Then, when I returned home, I plugged in the battery and turned it on. This time, it took forever to load and made strange noises. I’ve noticed it overworking the last few months, so when this happened, I panicked and pushed a million buttons.

Yeah…That only made things worse!

I tried the good ol’ three-finger salute (Ctrl+Alt+Del) in order to stop the laptop from doing lengthy updates. I rebooted it hoping that would help. Nope!

Running downstairs, I grabbed my external hard drive to back up my laptop in case it crashed. I had been meaning to do it for awhile anyway… I did what I could, but had a few questions for my brother. After a 45 minute phone conversation, we discussed a temporary fix. Still, transferring my files took several hours!

Philippians 4_6

Of course, this all happened while I was watering my new trees and making dinner! I ran back and forth outside, to the kitchen, and then to my laptop in the living room.

Think chicken…head nowhere to be found. 🙂

I kept forgetting to check the water… and left the hamburgers until they were well-done. Soon, I threw together a plate for Lydia and sat with her for a few minutes. But I had already eaten my hamburger while running around the house and yard!

After dinner, Lydia played outside. I checked on her every few minutes when running out to move the water hose. Later, I walked her across the street to play with those neighbors.

Finally, with everything else going on, I decided to skip a webinar I wanted to attend when Lydia went to bed. I realized I could catch up during a replay session later in the week.

Eventually, everything calmed down. After I put Lydia to bed, I could finally think clearly.

Then, I heard a little voice from down the hall. Normally, it says, “Mom, can I have some water?!” or “Mom, I need to tell you something!”

But, on Monday night, I heard, “Mom can you please cuddle with me?”

Given my recent parenting challenges, I’m thankful I listened. Instantly, I thought: Everything else is just chaos, but this moment with Lydia is what really matters. I spent a few minutes with her, thankful for the opportunity to connect.

Then, in the calm, I thought of a handy solution for future reference….because life and technology, challenges will always “pop up” again! (pun intended!)

ctrl alt del pic

In the midst of overwhelming chaos, think Ctrl+Alt+Del.

Usually, that combination brings up the Task Manager. In real life, this is like my schedule—everything that is going on or needs to be done.

Ctrl: What part of the mess can I actually control? What are the things only I can do? I may not be able to handle the external problem on my own, but I can control my attitude. Pray for help and breathe in God’s grace.

Alt: Is there a simple solution or a better alternative? What are the tasks someone else can do? Don’t neglect to ask for help or take a small break to get clarity.

Del: What can be delayed or deleted altogether? What are the most important priorities? Who else will benefit from making some changes? For instance, I can catch up with the webinar later, but kid moments and cuddling opportunities won’t last forever. Release self-defeating thoughts or feelings.

A few other pointers:

Back up. Consider taking a step back to see the big picture. Go back to God and ask for His perspective. Let Him handle all your frustrations. Give Him your concerns because He really cares. (1 Peter 5:7)

Reboot. Let God transform Your thinking and show you the best path. Sometimes, sleep is the best choice. Things usually look better in the morning. (Romans 12:2, Psalm 143:8)

Restore. If you let Him lead, God can restore all things. Stay present with Him and return to peace as quickly as possible. Do whatever it takes to remain there! (Philippians 4:7)

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God, thanks for Your ever-present help! Thanks for helping us prioritize what is most important. Help us remember to bring all our concerns to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Do you consider yourself a tech-savvy person? Do you prefer a PC or Mac?

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Wisdom

Before and After

According to Donald Miller, every great story has at least six to eight “story turns” or “life turns.” Generally, the plot is built around story turns. These are pivotal moments in the story because once a character goes through that ‘door,’ they can never turn back. These moments change the character and life will never be the same again.

Story turns can be good, like getting married, having a baby, or landing a dream job. (The positive stress that comes with those is called eustress.) Somehow though, moments of distress seem to be the most memorable. Is that because we tend to focus on the negativity, or because they actually have the most potential to bring change?

time for change

I don’t always appreciate change. I like my comfort zone! Often, change isn’t comfortable, but it is good and necessary long-term. Change makes life interesting!

Two of my biggest story turns felt like a one-two punch: Dave’s cancer diagnosis followed by his death 364 days later. I had to learn to walk a new path. Things feel better (most days), but that’s largely because God has carried us as we have adjusted to our new normal. It still feels crazy sometimes, but God keeps reminding me to rest.

Dave and I learned so much when he was sick. But after Dave died, God brought me to a whole new level of grace. Grace for myself. I simply could not keep up with everything on my should-do list. So, I had to relax my standards…and then relax them again.

I knew if I was going to get through the grief process, I was going to need God’s help. Grief is a process. Change is a process. It hasn’t been easy, but in His strength, I’ve been able to accomplish what He has for me to do (Philippians 4:13). Jesus said He would never leave me, and I have chosen to trust Him to show me the way. I’ve relied on His power, and He has given me His peace (John 14:27).

Colossians 3_15

As a Registered Dietitian and Nutritionist, I often see “before and after” client photos or food journals. It is gratifying to see the differences after even a few changes are made. Many of them are difficult to implement, but carry life-changing potential.

So, here are some of my “before and after” snapshots (figuratively speaking):

Before, I tried to plan my way to a perfect outcome (or life). Now, I keep planning in perspective. My new motto in many areas is, “Close enough is good enough.” (It doesn’t apply to everything, but it’s a really good ‘get out of jail free’ card most days!)

Before, fear was closely linked to my perfectionist tendency to plan for all contingencies. I often had a nagging feeling that something could go wrong. Now, I praise God fear is no longer a stronghold in my life. I have learned to let things go… In fact, I rarely have any fear at all. And when I do, I catch it right away and deal with it.

Before, I worried about decisions, trying to figure out all the details in advance. I still believe planning is wise, but I don’t over-plan due to fear and worry. Now, I wait to make a decision until I have peace about it. Of course, that doesn’t mean I know all the information beforehand. But, I’m okay with that now. I don’t have to have ALL the answers to walk by FAITH. I know God will come through for me, so I wait for His peace.

May 15th 2016_Three years

Before, I would do everything I could to avoid confrontation. (I was also more of a people-pleaser!) I respectfully address and resolve conflict much quicker now, not letting simple issues drag on. Perhaps I have a shorter fuse now. One thing I do know is that Life is too short to get worked up about petty issues!

Before, I was always busy but didn’t feel like I made much progress in any area. After Dave died, God streamlined my focus. So now, I am doing less random activity, but having much more impact in areas that are important to me. I have felt much more fruitful and productive these last few years.

How about you? What are your biggest “before and after” moments?

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God, You are good! Thank You for writing our stories with Your love and grace. Thanks for being with us on the journey. Draw us near to You, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: As you look back on significant “life turns,” can you see how God shown His faithfulness to you? How has your life been changed as a result?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous

Because He Is Good

With the flip of the calendar, here we are in May! I love spring in general, but it is a little bittersweet as we near the third year mark of my late husband’s death. Over the last couple weeks, I have been praying about this upcoming anniversary.

Once again, the Lord has come through for me in ways only He can. I had coffee with a friend who reaffirmed me on a day I was feeling down. I also ran into several friends at church, and each time, God used them to lift me up with encouragement. In all these instances, I didn’t mention I was sad. But it was reassuring to see how God met my need. He is so good to me!

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Dave was thirty-four when he died, which is far too young. He was diagnosed after an emergency surgery in May 2012. He died 364 days later. It was a wild and chaotic year, but God was ever-faithful.

This spring, I am a little sad, yes.

But mostly, I am still so proud of Dave after all these years. I admire how he handled his cancer with grace and courage. I’m grateful he did not give up.

Some people may think that God let me down because Dave died. Yet, I do not feel that way. In fact, I saw God do so much more than we could ever dream. He answered big, audacious prayers and small, silent ones. It was an awful situation, no doubt. But, God was so kind and generous.

Already Stage IV, Dave’s prognosis wasn’t great at the start, but God gave us those 364 days anyway. Some people get longer, but we relished every moment we had together. I’m thankful Dave didn’t have to suffer any longer than that because it got to be pretty intense those final weeks…

Psalm 46_1

What’s more, I’m so grateful for all God taught us that year. Dave had a servant’s heart like no other, but realized he couldn’t out-give God. He learned to rest in Jesus’ sacrifice because we can’t earn God’s grace.

For me, perhaps the lessons felt much more dramatic. Emotional roller coaster is an understatement. Our cancer journey brought out some of my worst traits. And trust me, I could be a bear at times! But, God’s grace and mercy were more than enough even then.

God provided wonderful friends who helped us, often with little advanced notice. He provided extra comfort for the worst days and gave us many joys along the way. As Dave himself said, it was a “phenomenal year.”

God used these extreme circumstances to prove that He is bigger than my fears. Every. Single. One. That alone was one of the biggest breakthroughs in my life.

He set me free indeed! What grace!

Can you believe these last three years have been some of the most fruitful years of my life? It’s not been easy, though God is redeeming my pain. He has rebuilt my life from the ashes. And because He is good, I am still standing!1 Corinthians 15_57I don’t know what you are dealing with today. Maybe everything is peachy keen. But, likely it’s not. If you are struggling with something, take it to Jesus. Let Him be your refuge and strength, your righteousness and your defense—He understands exactly what you need.

You simply cannot figure out every detail and outcome of your life. Believe me, I know! But if you place your trust in Jesus alone, He will lead you through it all. Let Him be your peace. He will bring you to Victory!

God loves you and is for you! Yes, life is hard. It doesn’t always turn out like we want. But God can handle everything that concerns you. And ultimately, if your hope is in Him, you will not be disappointed!

I know that full well.

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God, great is Your faithfulness! Thank You for being a trustworthy refuge. When we are afraid, may we place our hope in You. We overcome and have Victory, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How has God come through for you lately? How can I pray for you?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Procrastination

After the Leap

Did you do anything special to celebrate Leap Day this week?

For me, it was mostly like a regular day. Nonetheless, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Lydia in her gymnastics class. There were moments when I laughed wholeheartedly at the kids’ antics. They were trying so hard!

Their attempts at cartwheels, crab walks, and the balance beam had me rolling. These cute tumblers practiced somersaults and log rolls. They jumped on a trampoline, chased each other, and crawled through tunnels. The kids had such joy!

There was plenty of leaping, jumping and even some marching. When the kids fell, they got back up. When they failed, they started over. Occasionally, they asked the teacher for help. Other times, they skipped over a station if they didn’t know what to do. Interestingly, none of the kiddos were concerned if they landed correctly or not.

They were carefree and having fun!

trampoline

As you know, February 29th only comes every four years. That’s 1461 days. Yet, it goes by quickly. When I consider that four years ago, I had an infant and today, I have a preschooler…WOW!!

I also think about all that has happened in those four years, including a baby, parenthood, cancer, widowhood, grief, hard work, writing, serving, and lifelong friends.

Perhaps the last four years have turned out differently than you expected. Likely, you faced some disappointments too. Yet, most things turned out way better than I could have ever imagined. I am grateful and forever amazed to see God’s hand in it all.

It’s curious that there are a few days between Leap Day and March 4th (Forth)… What happens between leaping and marching forward? To me, that middle ground represents that transition time spent adjusting… changing… waiting… and overcoming doubt. It’s like the struggle before the victory. After the leap, it’s necessary to steady your feet before you can take any ground.

leap

Maybe you leaped into a new venture recently and aren’t sure what to do next. It probably looked exciting at first, but are you facing uncertainty now? Maybe you didn’t land where you anticipated or you’ve lost your footing.

Remember: It’s okay to pause and ask the Teacher for direction or clarity. God is eager to help us when we ask! Take some time and regroup, sure. Refocus and get some perspective.

Find your balance, yes. But don’t wait too long and don’t let fear stop you. “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (1 Timothy 1:7).

Taking things day by day can make time seem slow—and it can be difficult to see progress. But don’t be discouraged or lose hope. By faith, trust that God’s plan for you is good. Get excited about what He is doing and have fun! There’s great joy in His presence!

jumping off table

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him” (Psalm 28:7).

Whatever happens in the next 1461 days, don’t worry about the outcome or end results! Let the Lord set your pace. Soon you’ll look back with amazement at how far you’ve come. And yes, God will work it for good if you trust Him (see Romans 8:28).

So keep your head up and keep marching!

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God, You know all of our days before any of them ever occur. Thank You for being with us on each step of our journey. Helps us keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What would you like to see happen during these next four years? What steps are you taking to move forward?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Wisdom

Learning to Love Plan B

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength—carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie ten Boom

As a planner, I enjoy knowing what to expect. But for most of my life, I was also a world-class worrier. In hindsight, I know my worries were rooted in fear…because God’s plans for me are good (Jeremiah 29:11).

Todayisagift.

Fear sucks the life out of the present moment and causes needless anxiety. Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

Worrying steals from Today as we obsess over future “what ifs” that may never happen. When we seek His presence, we stay in the present moment. There is no room for fear!

Worrying kills the joy that comes with expecting God’s goodness and blessings. When we anticipate what He will do on our behalf, there is excitement. If it’s God’s plan, it will not fail!

Worrying destroys our faith in God’s grace and provision. By holding onto our imperfect plans, we hinder God’s best for our lives. When we pray instead of worry, our trust grows. God empowers us and makes us brave as we move forward!

day-planner

Planning for contingencies is wise preparation. But worrying adds no value to the end result. Plans frequently change, yet God’s peace is constant. Hence, the lack of peace is a reminder to let Him lead (see Colossians 3:15).

It seems Life is like being guided through an obstacle course while blindfolded in deep woods. God alone knows the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10). He designed the specific way each of us should go, according to His unique and special plan for us.

Here is how I imagine it: One person is guided to the left to bypass a tree, while someone else is directed to duck under a branch. Still another person crawls over muddy roots to avoid disaster. We may go in the same general direction, but God builds character through different life circumstances. (Cue Plans B, C, and D…)

When blindfolded, the weaving, bobbing, and details just don’t make sense. Only as we look backward does clarity come. It can be challenging to trust God to lead us forward. And, we might get a few scratches along the way. But the other option is to ignore God’s vision and run into a tree, figuratively, of course. 🙂 We walk by faith, not by sight.

Plan B

We don’t have to worry. In fact, God command us: “Do not fear.” While we can’t always see the path, we can walk with God each day. He will prepares us for what is ahead. On this lifelong adventure, it would be foolish to move ahead of Him. Let’s plan to trust God!

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NLT).

When Dave got cancer and died, my worst fears came true! But God’s grace held fast. When everything fell apart, He remained in control. When I relinquished my ideas (Plan A) for His greater plan, I was finally freed from fear and worry. As I learn to love Plan B, there is joy in the journey. God continues to take care of all that concerns me. Praise the Lord!

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God, thank You for working on our behalf. Give us wisdom as we make plans. Help us not get ahead of You and Your perfect timing. Thank You for Plan B. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What do you tend to worry about? Can you envision what it would be like to not worry anymore? What can you “let go” of to have more peace?

 

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

The Significance of Our Stories (Video Testimony)

“The thing about telling your story is that it helps you believe you have a story to tell.”—Sarah Mackey, NaNoWriMo

 There is freedom as we share the stories of our lives—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Our stories have the power to encourage others on their journey. Stories have potential to turn a stranger into a new friend. We can connect with family and friends across generations. We can learn how to live a better life.

I have been changed as I understand the significance of telling my story. As I piece it all together, I’ve seen patterns in my story and these have helped clarify my goals and purpose. To recognize my imperfections, and be ‘okay’ with them is healing.

There’s a song called My Story, by Big Daddy Weave, and I love these words:

“If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him”

At the end of the day, how we frame our stories is vital. In Hebrews 12:2, it says that Jesus is the Author and Perfecter of our faith. Our individual lives and stories matter because they are part of His larger story. It is His story we are living.

As a writer, I love that some versions of Hebrews 12:2 even state that Jesus is the Editor or Finisher of our faith…praise God! I don’t have to write the perfect life story or know exactly how it ends. I can leave the precious details in the hands of the Artist.

We all face defeat or failure in our day-to-day journeys. But those moments are merely a paragraph on the page. As you consider your story, be strong and courageous. Don’t believe the lie that your story doesn’t matter. God can do far more than we can ask or imagine, if we let Him. Trust in Jesus for the victorious outcome. He is in control.

chalkboard-620316_1280

“Because Your love is better than Life, my lips will praise you!” (Psalm 63:3)

Recently, my pastor asked me to share my story (or ‘testimony’) about what God has done in my life. The recording (linked below) was used for a sermon series, with a few other videos. Our church was setting its core values which represent our church culture, and this one highlights the importance of being connected to each other in meaningful ways.

We were not meant to do Life alone.

I want to share it because it helps explain the unique ways God worked in our situation. As we experience God in personal ways, we can live the Life that He has made for us.

I also want to point out that the video is not really about me or anything I have done. It is all about God’s faithfulness to bring me through with His grace and love. God uses people to show His character traits; yes, we can be a willing extension of Him to others.

Of course, all the footage was edited down to only a few minutes for time and intent. Therefore, it only hints at the gratitude I have for all the help, support, encouragement, and general rallying around us on this journey. It has made all the difference for us.

Thank you!

You can find the video here: https://vimeo.com/142877469

Father God, thank You for redeeming our pain and rewriting our stories with Your grace. All glory, honor, and praise to You! Help us live Your story. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Procrastination

Got Stress? Get Grace!

As I looked for a good tie-in to today’s post, I immediately loved this acronym:

S.T.R.E.S.S. = Still Trying to Run the Entire Solar System

Now, I could tell you all the reasons why my week was stressful. This would include a conference, a deadline, tech difficulties, and a cranky child. I’m sure you understand.

Yet, they might just be good excuses. We all know Life happens. It’s easy to complain.

I could also offer advice on how I met these challenges. I’d share how I took a nap, took a walk…and took some chocolate. I’d recommend arranging for childcare, using a crockpot for easy meals, and rescheduling certain activities for another time. All good things!

(I’ll leave out the perfectionism and procrastination part…I’m sure that wasn’t related.) 😉

But you see, in my tiny little solar system, it can’t be all about me, what I want or know. I can’t even decide what to have for breakfast…so I am totally inadequate to run the show.

So I’ll keep trusting in God, the Creator of the Universe. He is excellent at dealing with stressful events. And, He is an ever-present Help in time of need!

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
He who watches over you will not slumber.”

–Psalm 121:1-3

milky-way-916523_1280

Let’s take a moment to clarify and renew our minds with God’s word. We can overlook important details or connections when we feel overwhelmed.

Isaiah 26:3 says, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.” If you don’t have peace, try realigning your focus.

Often we get stressed because we feel responsible for end-results—as if success depends on us. It is useless to depend on our own fleeting energy instead of God’s everlasting strength.

If God started something good in you, He will be faithful to complete it (see Philippians 1:6).

Both perfectionism and procrastination can yield stress. But the root is fear. In the chaos of our emotions, we can lose sight of the vision and purpose God has given us.

So, remind yourself of God’s constant love. We don’t have to be afraid!

Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

God blesses obedience, and He has equipped us to do what He has called us to do (see Ephesians 2:10). If we’re trying to do more than that, it’s no wonder we are stressed.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Lord God, I praise you! You spoke out Your Word, and created the heavens and the earth. Nothing is too difficult for you! You do all things well. When I am overwhelmed, help me seek You first. I want to do it Your way. Give me wisdom to know what to do, and the courage to do it. Thank You for Your abundant grace. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Questions: What are your best techniques for handling stress? Do you have a favorite Bible verse that you find helpful?

 

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Procrastination, Wisdom

Put on Your Pants!

Over the last year or so, Lydia has been doing more things for herself. You’d think I would have more time. Though in reality, I spend about as much time coaching her and suggesting ideas. Here is an example of a typical morning:

Lydia, procrastinating and playing: “I don’t know what to wear!”

Me, checking the clock: “Well, you could start with your pants.”

Lydia, starting to whine: “But, but, I want to wear a dress….and I don’t know which shoes to wear!”

Me, quickly building up steam: “I said, put on your PANTS!”

(Can you relate?!)

Lydia plays, jumps on the bed and wastes time, preferring her own agenda. I know it is par for the course—no one said parenting would be easy. But, it drives me nuts!

“I don’t know what pajamas I want to wear…”

This also happens at bedtime, so I’ve had many “opportunities” to ponder the situation.

Pants

And truthfully, there are times when I act the same way. (Gasp!) Yep. I can delay in obeying God in the most simple things—like adjusting my schedule, or calling to encourage a friend, or offering to help someone. I wrongly think whatever I happen to be doing is more important.

Often, God will ask me to do something that doesn’t quite make sense. Sometimes it feels uncomfortable or inconvenient. Occasionally, it even seems inconsequential—a tiny task that won’t make a difference. “It won’t matter if I don’t…“

Yes, it does matter! Delayed obedience is still disobedience.

Like an exasperated parent, I bet sometimes we drive God a little crazy, too. Thank the Lord for His abundant mercy and grace!

I want all the answers, the whole picture. I want to know the purpose, plan, and the procedures. I want a guarantee, don’t you?!

Well, like my child (ahem), I just have to take the first step. I pray for wisdom and courage. I seek wise counsel. Yes.

But I can’t delay if it still seems unclear. God will provide the next step when needed. If I make a mistake, I don’t have to worry. His grace gives me a do-over.

(No. Grace is not a free license to do whatever we want. Sorry!)

Lots of Pants Hanging

By faith, do the uncomfortable, inconvenient thing. Even if it doesn’t seem important.
Soon, there’s momentum—moving in the right direction and seeing results. Praise God!

Is there a next step you need to take? Please stop resisting, and do it cheerfully!

Not sure what that is? Try one of these from Colossians 3, my emphasis added.

v. 12: “…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

v.13: “Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

v.14: “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

v.15: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

**And whatever you do, PLEASE, don’t forget to put on your pants!!**

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

When my husband, Dave, received a work promotion in North Dakota, we viewed it as a great opportunity. We sensed God leading us on this journey, yet it was difficult leaving all our loved ones. It was a huge leap of faith into the unknown! Still, I told Dave, “I feel like we will be missing something if we decide not to move.”

This adventure has encompassed more than we ever could have imagined. It’s been a wild ride at times. Perhaps this journey of faith and grace has been the most exhilarating of all. Over the course of a few short years, we experienced several major life events in quick succession. Our relationship with God was the biggest factor in how we made decisions and handled everything. But, that doesn’t mean it was a cakewalk. Not at all!

We were stretched far beyond our normal capacity. It was only by God’s grace we were able to function. Dave took it all in stride. He adapted and determined to live his life no matter what. It was more of a struggle for me. The biggest hurdle I faced was my own fear.

From the time I was little, I was cautious by nature. Part of that may be my personality; but when left unchecked and unquestioned, it became a habit of fear.

Fear and Trust Road Sign

At first, I tried to make sense of Dave’s diagnosis; I was distraught about the possible outcomes. That’s how fear works. It takes small pieces of information and amplifies them. Once our emotions are running high, it can be difficult to calm them down. When Dave was sick, this was a constant battle for me.

In May 2012, a few days after Dave’s diagnosis and first surgery, I sensed God speak to my heart. Distressed, I was praying in my car, on my way home from the hospital.

“I’m going to use this to show you just how much I love you.”

It is important to trust God and seek Him, but I was incredulous. I thought, “What?!

How does this show me God’s love? This is the worst thing imaginable!

If God really loved me, how could He let this happen?”

If you have a fear problem, then you have a love problem.

Fear 1 John 4_18

God graciously used the Truth of His Word to challenge my innermost thoughts. That year, as He uprooted the deepest doubts, I learned vital lessons about God’s character.

1. God is not mad at me. Like a Father, He’s so proud of me, and loves me dearly. (Matthew 3:17)

2. I will never measure up on my own, because I am not perfect. That’s why I need Jesus! So, I can stop fearing mistakes, and just live. (Romans 3:23)

3. Even when we do make mistakes, God is not waiting to strike us with lightning, or punish us for our errors. (Romans 8:1)

4. God is on our side. He is our Helper, Friend, and Advocate. (Romans 8:31)

Through these verses and others, I grew to know God’s love in a fresh way. A deeper revelation of God’s love changed my thinking and my life for the better.

God set me free indeed (John 8:36)! Thank You, Jesus. What grace!

Questions to consider: What fears are holding you back from living a full life?

How can you apply God’s Truth to your situation?