Category: Fear/Don’t Fake Brave

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

Keep On Kayaking

On Sunday afternoon, Lydia and I celebrated a fun accomplishment! We went kayaking! For me, it was a dream come true…something I have wanted to do with Lydia for quite some time.

Kayaking was a personal victory on several fronts. First, I simply managed to do it! Paddling on a river is one of my favorite things to do—I love the challenge and find it relaxing. Yet, I haven’t gone out in years.

It can be difficult to try new things or go to new places on my own, let alone with a child! Sometimes, I don’t give myself enough credit… In fact, I had previously talked myself out of canoeing or kayaking this month because it seemed overwhelming to coordinate our schedule with the rental facility hours, weather, the water conditions, etc.

Second, I wasn’t sure Lydia would be able to paddle much, and I didn’t know if I could handle everything on my own. Between paddling and safety, there’s a lot to consider! Besides, even if she could paddle, I thought for sure, she’d want to quit after two minutes…and/or start complaining.

Earlier in the week, I decided to scout out the area beforehand so we knew where to go. It was easy to find and there were several vessels available…check. I picked up a ton of brochures to read…check. Lydia seemed to enjoy it…check.

On Sunday, the forecasted rain looked like it might miss us. Then, I showed Lydia a couple YouTube videos on paddling so she knew the basics. (It was better than nothing, haha!!) And, with a leap of faith, we headed over to Moorhead, MN.

I had very low expectations and mostly just wanted to get Lydia some experience. At the dock, I decided to ask a few questions and let the workers give me feedback on if it was a good idea. If they advised against it, I told Lydia we’d go geocaching along the shore instead.

After explaining my concerns, the workers assured me that we could do it! The water was high and the current was fast due to recent rainfall, so they suggested a kayak instead of a canoe because it is lower to the water level. It would be more manageable in the fast water.

So, we put on our life jackets and got a quick lesson in paddling. Then, I helped carry the tandem kayak to the dock and we were off! We paddled up stream and then, later, coasted back. There were other families and individuals doing the same.

I’m happy to report, Lydia totally proved me wrong! She did so well, and went far beyond my expectations. She never complained, she paddled like a machine, AND she asked if we could go again soon. 🙂

We made it under two bridges and I bet next time we can go to the third! We both had a lot of fun and were proud of ourselves. It was very fulfilling. Win-win!

I’m glad I didn’t let fear stop me from taking Lydia on the water by myself. I now feel confident that we can have many more adventures together! We will definitely keep on kayaking… Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for giving me courage and for protecting me! You fill my life with good things. Please direct my path and help me keep moving forward in faith. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is on your summer bucket list? Is anything holding you back from accomplishing those adventures?

Tasks: Don’t let fear dictate your steps—choose to move forward in faith! Quite likely, you’ll find some blessings and surprises along the way!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Wisdom

The Difference Between Moving On and Moving Forward

Yesterday, we reached a big milestone in our grace journey. It was five years since Dave died…and five years of walking it out step-by-step.

Each moment has been drenched in God’s grace.

Five years ago, it felt like this milestone would never arrive. I had no plan and no clue what to do. (And for a planner, that’s kind of a big deal!) Suffice it to say, we faced a lot of challenges.

Yesterday felt noteworthy—yet at the same time felt just like any other day. The normalcy of it made me even more aware of God’s thorough healing. While it hasn’t been easy, I’m grateful.

I want Lydia to associate this day with goodness—instead of pain or sorrow—and identify the overwhelming Victory we have in Christ. So, each year I’ve given her a small token to mark the occasion.

Needless to say, Lydia was excited about yesterday. She woke up with such anticipation, “This is going to be a great day!” I loved her cheerful attitude; she loved the little cat ring I gave her before school.

So yesterday, we celebrated Dave’s memory and that he is safe and secure… By God’s grace, we are still standing strong! Thank You, Jesus. Every Victory is found in You!

Often, we pray for God to do big things, and then want to tell Him how to accomplish all our ideas. But His ways are bigger than our ways. Our small minds cannot comprehend all the good He has in store for us.

 As He promised in Romans 8:28, God has used this horrible tragedy for my good and His glory…so I can, in turn, help others and bless them. My goal is to then point people back to see God’s goodness in their own lives.

Honestly, I don’t need to understand the “why factor.” I am just grateful that God knows exactly what we need. His grace covers me and I can move forward in Victory.

Victory starts with Jesus at the Cross and His Resurrection but then carries over into everyday life. Each day brings opportunities to live victoriously. We have the choice to stand firm or move forward.

For me, standing firm means NOT running away from all the pain and sorrow—which is the exact opposite of what I sometimes want to do. Standing firm means not giving up even an inch of that holy ground. Moving forward is taking that first step and then another and another.

Some Victories are large and some are small. Some come easy and some are a struggle. Either way, slow and steady progress is still good.

It is strange to think that many of my friends now, never even met Dave… These days, I don’t share as much about him because sometimes the timing or mood isn’t right. Still, I appreciate anyone who will listen when I really need it. Thank you!!

After a big life change, people often get a ‘grace period’ to adjust. Though, after five years, perhaps some people would say it is time to move on. (I get it. Life goes on.) But, there is a difference between moving on and moving forward. And really, you can’t do both!

Moving on implies that we need to cut our losses and forget the past. Just get over it already! Moving on feels like an either/or option. You can either stay stuck or leave everything behind.

Moving forward, on the other hand, acknowledges the pain, grief, loss, or other wound but chooses to see beyond it. It is inclusive of one’s past and current experiences but allows for new options in the future. Moving forward may seem agonizing at first but is worth it in the long-run.

Moving on is the gut reaction—handling it on your own. Keep your head down and work hard to push through the pain. The problem is that approach is not sustainable. It uses up our energy so we have nothing left to give.

Moving forward, then, is the grace response—letting Jesus do the heavy work. Keep your head high—focused on Jesus—honor the past, and be brave. Surprisingly, we find more energy and power because the Holy Spirit covers our weakness and renews us with His strength.

Each person’s journey looks different. There is no one-size-fits-all ‘right’ way to deal with life’s pain and trials. But, for me, the greater Victory is found in moving forward with Jesus. He is faithful and can do far more than we could ever ask or imagine!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for all Your grace and goodness toward us. All glory and praise to You, Lord. Help us continue to move forward in Victory as you bring freedom and wholeness. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Questions: What are your thoughts on standing firm, moving forward, and moving on? Do you feel like you are living in Victory—or still struggling?

Tasks: Praising God is one way to keep moving forward and refocus on Jesus. Listen to this song: “Surrender” (Fight My Battles) by Michael W. Smith

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

Book Review: When God Doesn’t Fix It

Recently, I finished another book that I’d highly recommend to anyone dealing with grief or trying to understand how life has turned out so differently than planned…

The book is called, When God Doesn’t Fix It, by Laura Story. Like the other memoir I reviewed, this book also was published two years ago, but I wasn’t ready for it then. I’m so grateful for God’s healing grace—and for how far He has brought me!

The author is an award-winning singer, songwriter, and worship leader. But twelve years ago, her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent a ‘successful’ surgery. However, he now has several deficits including short-term memory problems and loss of peripheral vision. Parts of the story are very funny and other parts are very poignant.

The book has many parallels to my own story, yet both are still unique. Of course, I can relate to the ups and downs of dealing with health issues. When he was sick with cancer, my late-husband, Dave required more care as time went on, but didn’t improve. Life never returned to the way it was.

Ms. Story dispels several myths we believe about God and shows the Truth using Scripture. The Lord always keeps His promises (See 2 Corinthians 1:20)! But often, we place expectations on Him that He never agreed to do for us. Then, we tend to feel betrayed and blame God when He doesn’t come through like we think He should.

Take, for example, the subject of healing. Indeed, Jesus certainly did heal many people. However, as great as that was, physical healing was not His main goal. We see in Luke 19:10 that Jesus came “to seek and to save that which was lost.” Thus, He had a greater purpose in mind than just physical healing…

(The book gives more details and more examples, but I can trust the Lord for greater things in my life too!)

I appreciated that Ms. Story wrote honestly about her faith journey, one that has more questions than answers. She and her family have repeatedly prayed for healing but have had to learn to move forward without the resolution they desire. Her husband’s condition has not improved, but they have chosen to grow through the experience.

Ms. Story didn’t pretend to understand the “why factor.” Instead of demanding God to fix her family’s problems, they are embracing the present journey. They are choosing to praise Jesus and live for Him, becoming better, not bitter.

This book reminds me that we don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.

God is SO good!!

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Father God, thanks for all You do for me. Thanks for graciously guiding me and providing for me. Help me to praise You even when I don’t understand my circumstances. Help me to walk in faith! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are your God-sized questions that seem to have no answers? How can you trust Jesus and move forward?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Blessings,” by Laura Story. If you read her book, When God Doesn’t Fix It, let me know what you think!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Procrastination, Wisdom

What Are You Waiting For?

We spend a fair amount of our time waiting. Waiting for the elevator, green light, and next cash register. Waiting for the mail, waiting for our kids to get dressed, and waiting on the phone for technical support.

Whether we’re waiting for answers, waiting for a promotion, or just waiting for Spring, it’s easy to feel discouraged when we don’t see our circumstances changing as quickly as we want.

While we wait for breakthrough, we can doubt ourselves. Day by day, we can grow discouraged. Am I on the right track? Why did I think I could do this? This is more difficult than I thought. I’ll never finish this…

We can also doubt God in times of waiting. Fear, in combination with doubt, can make us misunderstand our Heavenly Father’s intention toward us. We may feel pretty desperate when we can’t feel His love.

But when I look at life through God’s lens, I see that, quite often, God is waiting for us!! Waiting for us to do what He said (obey), waiting for us to stop trying to control outcomes, waiting for us to have a better attitude…

God only has good in store for us. Instead of giving up on us, He gently coaches us along. If we seek Him while we wait, the time seems to be better spent.

When I think about it that way, it prompts me to consider how closely I am following Jesus. I want to walk in step with Him because then I will be in His perfect timing.

I don’t want to miss anything He has for me!

Praise God, there are several things we never have to wait for. To start, we have immediate access to God’s presence, salvation, and forgiveness. Today is the day of salvation!

We don’t have to wait on God to listen to Him, trust Him, obey Him, gain godly wisdom, or have internal peace. We also don’t have to wait to be kind, gentle, or gracious to others!

God is faithful. He knows exactly what we need…when we need it.

He is not slow in keeping His promises… He is patient with us. His love never fails!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for being so patient with me. Help me walk closely in-step with You, Lord. Help me listen and obey as You lead me. Thank you for directing my path! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What are you waiting for currently? Are you doing everything God has asked you to do?

Task: Determine to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading. It may be difficult, but He is eager to help you!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Worship

MercyMe at the Movies

Over the years, I have grown more comfortable going to see movies on my own. The crazy thing is… it always seems God that meets me at the theater! I’m not joking! Each time I go by myself something interesting happens…

Yesterday, I went to see a matinee showing of “I Can Only Imagine.” I went to a matinee during school hours. As soon as I walked in the door to buy my ticket, my friend, Gwen, ran over to greet me.

I didn’t see Gwen standing there so it was a funny surprise. She was waiting for a friend who I found out was my former neighbor. Lori recognized me from when she and her family still lived on our block. Now, she and her family live out of town near Gwen; their kids go to school together.

We briefly caught up and decided to sit together during the movie. Seeing these ladies was a cool and unexpected blessing. I had considered going to an earlier showing yesterday but decided to run errands instead. I’m so grateful God directs our steps!

The movie told the story behind the hit song of the same name. The movie, in my opinion, was not overly religious…but it was very real. It did not hide the character’s pain or gloss over ugly details. I loved seeing how a relationship with Jesus changes everything.

The main character, Bart Millard, grew up in an abusive household. But when he was in high school, his father started seeking the Lord. It was challenging for Bart to forgive his father, but he did. Praise God, his dad was transformed into a new man! He and Bart improved their relationship before it was too late.

For me, the story, told in the song and movie, highlights what Easter is all about—REDEMPTION. Jesus Christ loved us so much that came to earth and He gave His life on the cross for us. His blood paid the price of our sin and took away the punishment we ourselves deserve: Death. We could never accomplish that on our own.

The movie was a great reminder that Jesus never gives up on us! No one is beyond His salvation. He wants everyone to come to Him… What grace!

But, God didn’t stop there. On Resurrection Sunday, Jesus rose to life again through the power of the Holy Spirit. The best part is that when we accept what Jesus did for us, we are forgiven AND we also receive a new life. We are transformed from the inside out.

Knowing Jesus gives us hope for our future in Heaven—but He also gives us new purpose today. Not only do we have redemption but Jesus also brings RESTORATION.

Jesus renews us and makes us whole. We have new opportunities and can make good choices that honor Him. Because of Jesus, we also can live with joy and fulfillment even in the midst of painful circumstances. Trust me… I know!

We don’t need all the answers to walk by faith. Some situations may years to resolve, but we know that someday, Jesus will make everything right. He is faithful and just!

How awesome that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is alive in us, too!  Not only are we forgiven and have peace with God, but the Holy Spirit’s power is our strength when we ourselves are weak. He enables us to do far more than we can think or imagine according to His power working in us (see Ephesians 3:20)!

Though we should all encourage each other and work together to glorify Jesus, God has made each of us for a unique role. Therefore, how He works in each of our lives may also look different. We don’t need to compare ourselves! 

For me, having God’s power alive and active inside of me means I can choose to walk by faith instead of fear. I have Victory over fear. I am FREE and don’t have to be afraid!

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Thank You, Jesus, for dying on the cross for me! Thanks for giving me new life and freedom. Help me live boldly and walk by faith. Renew me and transform me from the inside out. In Your Name, Amen.

Questions: Have you received God’s free gift of salvation? From what has Jesus redeemed you?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “I Can Only Imagine,” by MercyMe. Read this article about the song and movie! And, go see the movie! 🙂

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Travel, Wisdom, Worship

Trusting God in Transition

Happy Spring!! I hope you are enjoying sunshine and warmth!!

Here in Fargo…it still looks like winter. In fact, we just got another dusting of snow again this week. However, the snow won’t last long. Change is on its way!

I’m thankful that I chose last week to travel to my hometown in Illinois rather than this week. Because the Lord directed our path and timing, we didn’t have to travel on wet or icy roads. Thank You, Jesus!

Soon, my mom and dad won’t have to deal with snow in Florida!

As my parents finish packing and head south, I have been thinking about life in our small community. Local friends are rallying around my mom and dad to show support, share a meal, and send them off.

Clearly, I’m not the only one grateful for their influence and impact. They have quite a legacy of servant leadership, faithfulness, kindness, and generosity!

I’ve also been recalling all of our memories in the home they built. Since I have been in Fargo for several years, distance has created ’emotional space’ regarding the actual house.

But still, it does seem odd not to be able to call it HOME for much longer… 

Nonetheless, I’m proud of my parents for making the transition. They have been talking about it for a long time. And, I’ve also happily acquired some treasured items from their 43 years of marriage (so far). Bonus!

Moving can be difficult as familiarity is left behind….but I know from personal experience how rewarding it can be to jump into the unknown.

Besides, it’s normal to have new challenges now and then. They remind us this world is not our home… Let’s keep moving forward. God has so much more in store!

God promises to be faithful to those who love and follow Him… Jesus is not bound by zipcodes, timezones, weather, the postal service, or any airline. I know He will take care of my parents just as well in Florida! It is a new adventure!

Transitions can be both scary and exciting. The best part is that times of transition can draw us closer to Jesus. But it’s our choice whether to draw near…

We all have times in our lives where our faith is challenged and doubts creep in. But, if we keep our eyes focused on Jesus, we will remain steady. He is our Rock and our sure foundation. Our hope is in Him.

With Jesus, nothing of value is really lost. Most of us prefer safety and comfort over uncertainty, but everything that truly matters is secure in Christ. We find true peace and rest in Jesus. He will never let us down!

So… I take comfort in those wonderful memories of growing up in the country. I appreciate all the time we spent outdoors and as a family. But, I also look forward to creating new memories… at the beach!

God is good and His plans for us are also good!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your love and grace. Thanks for protecting and providing so well for us. In times of transition, help us to rest and trust in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you in a time of transition? How can you trust Jesus to help you thrive?

Tasks: Ultimately, this world is not our home… Listen to the song, ‘Home‘ by Chris Tomlin.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Worship

I Belong to God

Last Friday night, I, along with three other ladies, spoke at a women’s event at our church. We each briefly shared our stories as it related to the theme: I Belong to God.

Ironically, each of us interpreted the theme differently, but each story provided a unique angle and gave a deeper, more well-rounded view of the theme. How cool!

One lady shared about how she doesn’t always feel like she belongs. She often feels outside the social circle, but with Jesus, she never has to feel that way.

Another lady shared about how belonging to Christ gives her identity. She shared how she has grown over the years as she understood who she is in Christ.

I shared a quick version of my story, and the fourth lady’s story was about saying yes to God’s call. We also sang worship songs in between testimonies.

For my story, I shared I had grown up in a Christian home and met Jesus at a young age. While I had the head knowledge that Jesus loved me, in my heart, I was afraid.

Looking back, it was difficult for me to put a finger on the root of my fear—and because I couldn’t figure out exactly what the problem was, I never really dealt with it. I just let it become a stronghold over the years. In some ways, fear became my comfort zone.

Then, I shared about moving to Fargo and about our cancer journey. What an emotional roller coaster! It wasn’t easy—our faith was stretched thin at times—but we chose to trust Jesus. And, He really did come through for us in so many ways.

When everything in my life fell apart, God was there to catch me and pick up the pieces. I saw that He is bigger than all my worst fears and was the only sure thing that remained after Dave died. He has taken such good care of me and my daughter, Lydia.

Recently, I came across a quote by Emily Freeman: She says, “When you can’t see God’s hand, trust His heart.” I love that because we all find ourselves in unexpected situations and seasons that we didn’t plan.

If you are facing a choice between FEAR and FAITH, choose faith.

When you belong to God, you can cling to Him in the midst of uncertainty. You can trust in His provision. And, you can rest in His grace. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. He’s got you covered!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good! Thanks for setting me free from fear. Help me walk in Your grace and live for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your story and does it include Jesus? Have you ever written it down or shared it with someone?

Tasks: Write down the evidence of God’s grace in your life—share them someone who needs encouragement. Listen to the song, “It Is Well” by Kristene DiMarco and Bethel Music.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

More Than Anything

My friends and I are moving along as we scribe the Gospel of John. We are each going at our own pace, and I am enjoying the slower process. I’m somewhere in the middle of the pack and just started John Chapter 6 this week.

The first real ‘story’ in John 6 is when Jesus feeds the 5,000 people. When adding the women and children, there would have been many more! This miracle is one that gets a lot of ‘attention’ and as such, it is easy to focus on this ‘big’ event.

But just before that story, I saw something small that I must have previously overlooked. John 6:2 (NLT), says of Jesus, “A huge crowd kept following him wherever he went, because they saw his miraculous signs as he healed the sick.”

Verse 2 stood out to me because of the sense of desperation it portrays. Perhaps the dry, barren desert setting makes it more dramatic… but it seems these people were desperate for signs and breakthrough, not necessarily Jesus Himself.

Lately, I have seen a ton of answers to prayer both for myself and other—both big and small. It is amazing how God meets our needs in creative ways! However, verse 2 is a great gut-check to make sure I am actually seeking JESUS, not just what He can do for me.

I certainly have felt pretty desperate at times, as I am sure you have, too. Thankfully, whenever I feel like that, I have learned to seek the Lord more intently.

I think I am on the right track, but I will be meditating on this for a few days. I can only imagine how Jesus must’ve felt when people just wanted to use Him.

Yet, despite all that, Jesus had compassion on the people and continued to minister to their needs… hence, the story of feeding the 5,000 people (and the rest of the chapter). Wow! What grace.

Indeed, there are times when life does feel pretty desperate. Each season has its own challenges. We all have ups and downs, but hopefully, our trials turn us to Jesus.

JESUS is the ultimate solution to any problem we face. He knows exactly what we need and always comes through for us! He is faithful.

Yes, Jesus uses people and circumstances to meet our needs (and vice versa), but clearly, our help originates with Him. When we start with Jesus, everything else works out, too.

When I feel overwhelmed, I remember that Jesus has already OVERCOME! I can persevere because He is my strength when I am weak. In Jesus, I have Victory!

Jesus doesn’t just bring healing—He is the Healer. He doesn’t just come to the rescue, saving us—He is the Savior. His gifts lead us back to Him, the Giver. He is so good!

When life’s trials grow intense, may we seek Jesus more than anything else! But let’s not wait until trials come and we grow desperate. Let’s seek Jesus even when life is good. Only He satisfies.

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God, thanks for taking such great care of me. You are so good. But, Lord, I want YOU, Jesus, more than what you do for me. Please help me want you more than anything. In Your Name, Amen

Questions: When trials come, do you seek Jesus first? Do you seek Him even before trials come?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “More Than Anything” by Natalie Grant.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

On Feelings and Frostbite

Yesterday (Tuesday), I had the opportunity to speak at a local moms group. By request, I shared my story in light of making end-of-life decisions. My goal was to provide perspective and offer basic information for these moms.

Through a casual conversation, we discussed wills, trusts, life insurance, and more. To be clear, I am not an expert on any of these topics. But I have experienced the how-tos and what-not-to-dos.

I also recommended these ladies consult with an attorney, accountant, and/or a financial planner. I don’t recommend taking a lot of unwarranted risks in these areas!

I really enjoyed speaking with these moms, and afterward, I went to work like usual. But the emotions caught up with me there (unexpectedly), as my coworker and I just-so-happened to discuss similar topics. Gotta love God’s timing!

Occasionally, I still get a little teary-eyed when discussing all we went through with cancer. And lately, I have been reflecting on our journey more anyway…

I know March will be here soon, and I can’t help but think of two important times. First, I recall March 2010 when Dave found his job in Fargo. We moved later that year, which set the stage for other big life changes.

I’ve also been thinking of March 2013 when Dave was so sick and near death (he died in May that year). That was a tumultuous time and we felt desperate.

This flux of emotions tends to cycle through periodically, though as we move toward March, I have felt it more. Perhaps that’s because we are also fast-approaching another milestone: the five year anniversary of Dave’s death.

Yesterday, we also received several inches of snow. That’s not unusual for February, but I still had to blow snow in the dark of morning and shovel twice. For me, snow removal builds character (ha!), but yesterday, I was more reflective.

In the afternoon, I shoveled away the snow and contemplated my sadness. The physical activity was good for me and channeled my emotions into something productive.

I thought it would be a quick job, so didn’t change out of my work clothes. I wore lightweight dress pants and my lightweight gloves. I didn’t wear a hat and my hood kept falling off. I wanted to work quickly so my fingers wouldn’t freeze!

After about twenty minutes, I thought about going inside to warm up. But, I was still praying through my emotions and just wanted to finish. I threw more snow on already-high mounds. It was difficult because it required a lot of effort to corral the snow!

Soon, my fingers weren’t cold anymore—they were numb.

It was only when I came in about fifteen minutes later that I noticed my fingers again. They were bright red and tingled, like other parts of my skin. There was no frostbite, but that’s not unheard of with extreme wind chills like we have in Fargo.

Thankfully, I had gotten through both the snow and the rough emotions.

Praise God, I felt so much better!

As I put away my snow shovel, I thought about how people manage their emotions in a similar manner. Many people try to ‘shovel away’ their sorrows, without actually understanding the pain. It’s like having spiritual or emotional frostbite.

They bury sadness and grief, frustration and remorse, anger and resentment without dealing with them. They don’t allow themselves the time to heal. Some people freeze their feelings, becoming numb and unable to function properly.

For me, the pain can still feel rough at times, though it has gotten much better overall.

Nonetheless, I still allow myself to feel my emotions and pray them through. The feelings don’t last forever, and I know it will be okay…sooner or later.  

Like snow, healing is messy. It can be difficult work to decipher our feelings and keep them contained. Yet, I always learn more about myself in the process. Reaching a new level of healing or self-understanding isn’t always fun…but it is a valuable gift!

Yesterday, I was also reminded of God’s grace and goodness. Only He can bring full healing. And, the more I share my story, the more grateful I become.

God has been so faithful to me. He has provided for me in ways I cannot even explain. Despite my losses, He has never let me down. What Victory!

Yes, when everything feels like it is falling apart, Jesus is there. He is greater than my pain or problems, and He loves me through each trial. He protects me and allows me to be myself—feelings and all. By His grace, He holds me together!

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Dear God, thank You so much for your grace and goodness. Thanks for taking such great care of me. Please direct my path and guide me on this journey. Thanks that I don’t have to get stuck emotionally. I choose to move forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you experienced any signs of spiritual or emotional frostbite? Will you let Jesus handle it?

Tasks: Listen to ‘King of My Heart’ by Kutless and ‘I Will Call Upon the Lord’ by Elevation Worship. Write down your feelings and experiences in a journal. Trust in Jesus!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

It’s Totally Unfair!

This has been an… ‘interesting’… year already. I have seen God direct my path and use me to make a practical difference in other peoples’ lives. But, honestly, I’ve also seen some things that seem totally unfair to me or others…

For example, recently a friend slipped on her child’s Legos in the dark, hitting her entertainment center—with her face.  She busted her nose and needed major surgery. An accident yes, but still unfair.

Another friend had to forgive someone for major offenses when they clearly didn’t deserve it. Forgiveness is required for that relationship to move forward. But it’s definitely not fair.

I have seen friends struggle with various injustices, such as discrimination, financial difficulties, and health problems, too. It is easy to see how anger and resentment build up.

My own story is complex with its own challenges and I know yours is, too. We don’t have time to rehash or compare our stories here… Besides, these issues are not always bad—though at times they really do seem unfair.

Most of us, if we allow ourselves, could easily go down the “poor me” path or the “this would be better if” road. But one thing is certain: Complaining doesn’t help.

If our emotions are allowed to run the show, we will get stuck and never move forward! Instead, I have learned the best thing I can do is redirect my focus back to Jesus. When we bring Him our fear, pain, sorrow, anger, resentment, and embarrassment, He gives us hope, healing, wholeness, peace, forgiveness, and joy.

We can trust Jesus through and through. As both God and man, He has a unique perspective. He understands what each of goes through because He has been there, too.

You see, Jesus faced the same types of battles. Quite often, He didn’t know where His next meal was coming from or where He would sleep. Yet, He was expected to help people at all hours of the day/night. He was often put to the test and judged unfairly. He was used by the people but rarely thanked.

Also, Jesus was like a local celebrity so He was scrutinized at a higher level. He never could win over everyone—but He reached out to help as many as would receive Him.

All Jesus did was done with love. He healed people and comforted them. He even raised the dead back to life! He taught new ways to love and used His own life as an example to follow. Yet, he was still rejected.

Then, at the end of His young life, Jesus was wrongly accused and suffered a horrible death on the cross. Completely unfair. But to Jesus, we were worth it. He loves us so very much!

When I compare my conditions to what Jesus faced, I have no room to grumble. Jesus was well-acquainted with the ups and downs of life. So… if Jesus had to struggle, then we have no excuse.

At least we are in good company!

By definition, grace is an unmerited or unearned favor. Yes, God’s grace toward us is also unfair! We don’t deserve any of it!

Thankfully, God does not see our uncertain circumstances like we do. He can see the end from the beginning—and His thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours.

Trials have a way of refining us for the better—though it may take some time to see how. But no matter what we face, God loves us and is for us. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. He leads us and guides us.

God never changes. And no problem or difficulty—however big or bad—can change God’s goodness toward us. He has us covered!

Yes, God’s grace is unchanging, unfailing, unrelenting, unearned—and praise God, totally unfair!!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Jesus! Your everlasting love and abundant grace toward us are beyond unfair. Thank You! Help us have the right attitude as we walk in grace, love, and forgiveness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you respond when life seems unfair? Can you trust Jesus?

Tasks: Listen to “O’Lord” by Lauren Daigle and “Grace that Won’t Let Go,” by Mark Harris