Category: Fear/Don’t Fake Brave

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Pivot, Words

Words Can Change Your Brain

I recently saw both a social media post and an article about a book, Words Can Change Your Brain. Certain neuroscientists have conducted several studies, and the book compiles part of their research. One quote stuck out to me: “A single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.”

The post mentioned how any negative word or phrase you think or say during a workout (or trial) makes stress hormones in your body, hindering your progress. Thoughts of worry, fear, or inferiority can scramble neurochemicals and reinforce what you are thinking. In this context, the word “NO” shuts things down. “I can’t. This is too hard.” Our brain does not correctly distinguish between fact and fantasy – it just assumes the worst, that there is a valid threat!

However, one positive word can make all the difference. For example, “YES” is full of possibilities! It reduces stress and turns on genes and neurochemicals for our well-being. We make more adrenaline, dopamine, epinephrine, and endorphins to help us overcome the challenge.

Over the weekend, I applied this to lifting weights and found it helpful! I felt good and did more reps than usual with a higher weight. I will keep it in mind moving forward!

This made me think of other reasons to check our thoughts. Our brain chooses either a path of faith or fear. It cannot choose both at the same time. “YES” often correlates with faith, while “NO” tends to run with fear. I’m not talking about those times when we need to set healthy boundaries but rather when trying something new, which can be scary! We must face our fear to move past it.

Instead of ruminating on our thoughts (negative or positive), we can meditate on God’s Word. There are so many wonderful verses… His Word is the best!

Here are some faith-filled Scripture verses to consider:

John 1:1-5 (NIV), “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

Romans 8:31 (NIV), “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

2 Corinthians 1:20 (NIV), “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ. And so through him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God.”

Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV), “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.”

1 John 4:18 (NIV), “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

God, in His infinite wisdom, programmed our brains to run on faith, love, joy, peace, and hope. We can trust that He has good things in store for us. He is our YES and AMEN. We don’t have to choose fear!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for taking such good care of us. Thanks for teaching us Your ways. Help us keep moving forward in faith; may we stand firm against fear. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What is your favorite Bible verse? How can you use it to grow your faith?

Tasks: Replace fearful thoughts with faith-filled thoughts. Next time you face a challenge, say “YES” and watch God’s power work through you!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Pivot, Wisdom

Goals Are Only a Guide

Yesterday, we had our annual goals meeting at work. We do this every year, focusing on national and departmental VA goals. The funny thing is, I never really have any goals that match my manager’s expectations. It’s almost a running joke at this point!

This level of goal setting is above and beyond our normal work duties, which are already immense! So, it’s good to challenge ourselves but it’s not the end of the world. I usually offer to help others with their goals, and that is good enough.

It’s not that I don’t have goals – I have lots! I love learning, but not all of my interests are transferrable at work or a good fit for my patients. For instance, I am interested in plant-based diets and would love to promote them more often. Yet, it’s not for everyone, especially a population that is often rural, mostly male, and meat-loving. These guys tend to rely on microwave meals or let their wives do all the cooking.

Also, focusing on my own mobility exercises has been key for me lately, but that’s a bit out of my current scope of practice. Even if I decide to train in this area (a fitness or pain certification to complement my foodie side), I may not be able to apply it as well as I would like. But it’s something I am considering!

Free goal target success illustration

For me, it’s a good sign I don’t want to set excessive goals. I want to do exactly what God is calling me to do. No more and no less. I don’t have to be perfect or overachieve. My top goals are to stay close to Jesus, listen to the Holy Spirit, and bring my Heavenly Father glory through serving and loving others. Everything else is just a bonus! 

God is good at showing me when I need to make a change, personally or professionally. He leads me and is patient with me until I get where I need to be. Therefore, if God Himself is not telling me anything different, I can be at peace. I don’t need to apologize or explain anything. I trust I am on track!

Goals are good, but they are only a guide. They don’t override God’s plan for me!

I always aim to go above and beyond to meet the needs of my patients, even when it is inconvenient. I don’t see that changing any time soon! But, God has given me a lot to do outside of work, too! As a single mom, I need to use my energy wisely.

Free Road Curve photo and picture

Prayerfully, my long-term work goals are fairly simple and have worked well so far!

  1. Eat a good breakfast since I don’t know when I will get to eat my lunch. I always manage to eat, but it’s not always predictable due to patient care.

  2. Show up. There are gonna be days I just don’t “feel” like going to work. Do it anyway. (As it is, I find I am always happier when I go and see people. I hate to miss something important!)

  3. Have a good attitude. Be a team player. Smile! I can encourage those around me, and not complain or drag them down.

  4. Have patience with my patients. Every day is different, and I work with a wide variety of personalities and problems. There are similarities, but there are still so many nuances. I have to bust myths and break through barriers daily!

  5. Do my best and minimize “late notes.” This is more of a behind-the-scenes billing thing, but I can only do my best!

I am beyond grateful for where God has me right now. This time, this space, this routine. My coworkers and family and responsibilities. I know things will change someday, but I am content going at His pace and walking in His peace.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for taking such good care of me. You are so gracious and kind to provide for me and lead me. Help me stay close to You so I can move when You do! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you like setting goals? What goals are you working toward right now?

Task: When setting goals, pray first, then make them SMART! That stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-based.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Pivot, Wisdom, Words

On Peace vs. Chaos

For the last two mornings, I woke up earlier than my alarm. I thought about returning to bed, but I decided I probably wouldn’t get much rest. Then, the Holy Spirit has reminded me that I requested extra time in my day to Journible through the book of Galatians. I decided to just go with it!

Even though I am trying to go to bed earlier, I have still been a little short on sleep. But, I know if God wakes me up, then He will cover me. His mercies are new every morning, and His grace is sufficient!

So far, I have spent about twenty minutes copying God’s Word before heading downstairs to exercise. Sometimes, just taking the first step is the most important thing! It has felt good to start my day in a peaceful manner, and it has set my whole day off on a good path!

Galatians is about the Apostle Paul setting early Christians straight and clarifying some significant issues that were creeping in and causing chaos. Some thought they had to keep all the former Jewish laws and were trying to enforce them on others. However, Paul writes about God’s gospel of grace, found in Jesus’ death and resurrection alone.

It’s not about doing more; it’s about drawing close. Nothing more, nothing less.

Free Mountains Lake photo and picture

In light of Jesus’ Good News of grace and forgiveness, there is a stark difference between peace and chaos. Sometimes, chaos results from personal choices, and sometimes, it happens to us (cancer or 9/11 or grief, for example). Chaos feels inevitable if we don’t actively pursue peace. Yes, we must challenge ourselves to remain at peace!

Over the years, I have seen a disturbing pattern. People around me living in chaos, unable to find true peace. They run all over trying a million things, ignoring the Prince of Peace, Jesus. Sadly, the chaos often spills over to affect their families and others around them. Indeed, their poor decisions can impact generations after them in a ripple effect.

Signs of peace may include quiet, clarity, harmony, unity, joy, gratitude, generosity, patience, rest, and a slower pace. Sticking with something long-term and not giving up just because it is difficult indicates a sense of peace. To some, peace may align with boredom, but it brings freedom and space for doing life’s essentials. Not rushing around means I can maintain my priorities and have flexibility in my schedule.

Chaos may come with noise, confusion, distraction, fear, anxiety, anger, blame, flashiness, busyness, frenetic speed, and exhaustion. Ideals and commitments are often tossed aside. Frequently switching jobs, relationships, vehicles, or jobs (chasing novelty) may indicate chaos. There is nothing wrong with novelty, but it can’t be the main thing.

Peace involves guarding your heart, while the trainwreck of chaos causes major heartbreak. I have seen people panic and make huge mistakes that ruined their careers, marriages, and reputations. Some have even lost their homes. Yes, there is forgiveness, but people don’t forget or trust again so easily, and they have struggled to make their comeback. But, there is hope in the midst of turmoil.

“The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.” This verse is from Nahum 1:7, but we see God calling us to Him all throughout Scripture. Jesus said His peace is different from any ‘sense’ of peace the world offers (overused words like self-care and wellness come to mind… good to a point, but not the final solution!).

In another letter/book, Paul tells us to “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…” (Colossians 3:15). This means we must give all the chaos to Jesus and let Him calm our hearts. We must give Him full reign and let Him dictate our course.

I sure don’t do everything perfectly, but I am determined to maintain my God-given sense of peace, whatever the cost. That means staying close to Jesus and listening to the Holy Spirit. Asking for His input first, not just making my own assumptions.

Jesus promised us His very own peace, a gift from the Holy Spirit, who lives in those who follow Christ. He planted the spiritual fruit of peace, but we must cultivate it in the right environment. I’m grateful that He is faithful and trustworthy to help us! If we let Him!

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God, thanks for Your overwhelming peace, which anchors me! Help me move at Your pace so that I can maintain my peace. Let my gratitude, generosity, and grace grow so I can spread Your peace to others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you in a season of plentiful peace or constant chaos? What are you doing about it?

Tasks: Be humble and check your heart. Let God lead and make any changes with a joyful heart.

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Pivot, Wisdom, Worship

Book Review: Truth Changes Everything

I listened to an intriguing audiobook recently on my way back and forth to work. I liked it so much I may purchase a paper copy! It is called Truth Changes Everything by Dr. Jeff Myers.

The book covered apologetics and theology of the Christian faith, along with mini-biographies of people who changed the world because of their faith in Jesus. Dr. Myers discusses areas like human dignity, medicine, education, sciences, arts, politics, and more. He also discussed the difference between absolute Truth (that is, Jesus and all He represents) and “truths” (such as my story or your story).

God wants us to know the Truth and went to great effort to ensure that happened, even to the point of Jesus’ death on the Cross. All of our personal stories, thoughts, and feelings matter but are far less important than the overall greater “capital—T Truth.” We can measure our scope only as far as we can understand, but God sees everything.

I was fascinated to hear how Christians changed astronomy, medicine, biology, chemistry, and physics. Essentially, they took huge leaps of faith to explore and learn all they could about the Universe God created. They sought Truth, and the knowledge they discovered in each field took us to new heights. As Dr. Myers explained, science and faith go very well together. Science helps us know how things work, and faith in Jesus shows us the meaning of it all (why).

Together, seeking Truth through the lenses of faith and science pushed the bounds. I also loved hearing about the contributions women made right alongside men. Though not all of them received credit in their lifetimes, some of them did!

Interestingly, most modern hospitals and educational institutions around the world have their roots in Christianity. During the Black Death, most people ran away from illness, but Jesus’ followers were moved by compassion. They did not let personal risk stop them; in fact, the promise of eternity quelled fear and compelled them to serve. They created places to care for those in need and studied what worked well and what didn’t. Their missions work set the foundation for the future.

I also learned about how the creative pursuit of Truth changed the Arts, such as music and painting. I cracked up hearing how the famous composer Vivaldi started off studying to be a monk, but he was always off writing music instead of doing his chores. Eventually, he left that area of ministry and served orphans, many of which had been disfigured and abandoned due to diseases. He saw their inherent value and beauty and created musical works for them to perform. This was a shock to society at the time, but it helped them earn income and overcome their feelings of defeat. Wow!

I could go on and on, but maybe you should just read the book! 😉 I hope it will give you confidence in your personal faith and inspire you to step out and make a difference. Each of us has a calling to fulfill, and God has already empowered us. It is our part to learn and grow!

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God, there is no one like You! Thanks for being our Rock, the Absolute Truth we can depend on! Thank You for the Victory we have in Jesus. Help us honor You every day as we walk out our faith in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What books have you been reading lately? Are you able to explain the basic tenets of your faith in Jesus? Do you know what you believe and why? (1 Peter 3:15)

Task: Get this book and read it! Buy it online or check it out at the library!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

Staying Power

Today, Lydia and I are celebrating eleven years of Dave being in Heaven. As you can imagine, the month or two leading up to this day can be a little heavy. I try not to think about it much, but I can’t help it. I know it’s coming.

I tend to get a little emotional, which might show up as a soft, sensitive heart or with a short temper (not my usual!). I might get fired up or not care at all. It kind of depends on the day and the circumstances.

Typically, I am known for being steady and reliable. The one who shows up and follows through. But, during this brief period, I tend to do whatever it takes to keep moving forward.

Generally, that means pulling back from unnecessary activities to focus on what is. ‘No’ is a wonderful word! I used to apologize and try to explain, but this year, I have allowed myself not to worry about it. It has been a relief to show up as I am that day and be present.

It is funny how that has turned out. I have more energy, which has led to more courage to speak up about what matters and wisdom to let the other stuff go. I have been in tune with Jesus and have come into more of my own. His joy is my secret weapon and strength!

Reflecting on all this, I am grateful for all God has done. He has caught me, carried me, and sustained me. Right away, I knew I wanted to stay in Fargo, at least until Lydia was old enough to understand what happened. Moving is a lot of work, and I also wanted her to have closure.

Moving closer to family would have been easier, and maybe we will someday. But, for now, we are here. In the meantime, staying has meant asking for help and seeking God’s provision. He is the faithful One draws us close. There’s no place I’d rather be.

Years ago, I was inspired by various widows, such as Elisabeth Elliot and, later, Huldah Buntain, a missionary to India. When their husbands tragically died, they chose to stay where God had planted them, offering themselves to His work. I had my own reasons, but I have also seen God’s blessing in and through my life. I am so glad we stayed.

Staying put has helped me stay in-step with Jesus. This means going at His slower pace, not racing ahead or dragging my feet. As I wait on Him, I know when to move and when to rest. I have to lay aside daily distractions to ensure I can hear His voice and understand where He is leading me. After all, He holds me together (Colossians 1:17)!

While we often miss Dave and talk about him, we rejoice for the time we had with him. We are grateful that God has us in a good spot. Work is going well, and Lydia is thriving in school. We don’t know the future, but we know the best is yet to come. As we rest in Jesus’ presence, we rely on His staying power to see us through.

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God, thanks for Your grace and faithfulness all these years. You are so good to me, my All-In-All, always protecting me and providing for me. Help me keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Whose power are you relying on? How is that working for you? Are you living in your own limited strength or relying on the infinite, unmatchable power of Almighty God, the Creator of the Universe?

Tasks: When you want to run away from your emotions or problems, run directly to Jesus. His name means Salvation. He can handle all the craziness, but you have to bring it to Him!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Pivot, Prayer, Procrastination, Wisdom, Worship

Living Redeemed

Spring is in the air, and I sense God doing something new! In some ways, I feel like this season has already been drawn out since we had hardly any winter snow. But, I also feel a little behind the game because it is easy to coast along when I am busy with other things. Sometimes, it is nice to have some urgency, and at different times, it is good just to relax. Either way, I am excited to see what God is doing.

On Easter Sunday, Psalm 103:1-5 was shared, and the sermon was about what it means to be redeemed. Essentially, redemption means that a ransom was paid (Jesus’ blood) so we can live freely with new purpose. Living under God’s grace has many benefits, as you can read below:

1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Free River Stream photo and picture

Below are a few of my notes. I certainly have some thinking to do, but this is a good place to start. I hope you find these points useful and can personalize them for your circumstances! 

As God’s children, we are redeemed from sin, death, and fear. We are given new life and have the freedom to walk it out in faith and Victory. Collectively, we are redeemed to participate in God’s Kingdom and do good works, which He has prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).

But what good works did Jesus redeem me for specifically? They will be unique to me. I have a special purpose and hidden potential. My life belongs to Jesus, and what I do matters, but it will likely look different from everyone else.

What are the consequences of not living my full purpose? What will I miss out on? Who is depending on me to be faithful? Whatever the answer, it affects me, my family, my community, and the Church in general. If I don’t do my part, everything suffers. Jesus already did the main work, but He still has a plan for me to complete. Get going!

Sooo… What am I waiting for? What is holding me back? This could be apathy, rebellion, fear, etc., depending on the situation! It’s definitely worth thinking through and dealing with the root causes. Otherwise, I’ll never get started.

Each of us will have different answers to the questions I listed above. But, it is worth praying about what God wants you to know and do. There is great blessing joy, and peace when we are on His path for us. That doesn’t mean we won’t have a struggle, though!

Living redeemed takes courage, but what an adventure it is! Do your best and focus on progress, not perfection. Remember, we live under God’s abundant grace! He is committed and more than able to complete the good work he started in you (Philippians 1:6).

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Heavenly Father, thanks for redemption, new life, and grace. You are good, and so are your plans for me! Help me understand Your work in my life and how You have equipped me for it. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What do you think God has redeemed you for specifically? Do you anticipate any changes, or are you already where you need to be?

Task: When praying for specific next steps, consider your personality, talents, passion areas, and life experiences. All of these can help determine if you are on the right path.

Posted on in Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward book, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #421

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Robin Red-Breasted photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This Holy Week was good. I did a daily Bible devotion on YouVersion about Jesus’ las week, and it was good to keep that at the forefront of my mind.

On Sunday, I met with a dear church friend for coffee. She has been growing in her faith but is working through some tough issues. I am so proud that she mentioned her questions to me, and we were able to discuss them. She was dealing with fear, and I encouraged her and challenged her to not give up. As long as we keep moving forward toward Him, we will have Victory!

Work was surprisingly slow! I had a lot of patients, but a few canceled or no-showed, and some rescheduled or just didn’t want to talk long. I was able to stay on top of my charting and am fully caught up! I was able to do a few projects and even cleaned my desk!

Otherwise, it was a quiet week. I have enjoyed the calm, and often, during these peaceful moments, I can hear from God best. Of course, He has given me a few new things to think about and pray through. 🙂

Today, I saw my first robin of spring! I had just woken up, and the bird was singing on my deck. I was delighted and am sure there will be many more in the coming days!

Finally, three people mentioned my book to me. One asked how to get a copy for a friend, and two gave positive feedback. I love that my works are encouraging others! It’s been awhile since I shared the link, but here is how you can get one (or three!).

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Pivot, Wisdom, Worship

Cornerstone

Lately, I have noticed a subtle shift in my house. It is a good and natural thing, but it has surprised me. I recognized it this week, which helped deal with it. At least for now!

Basically, I have been a little short with Lydia, and it bothered me. She’s a great kid and doesn’t deserve that. I couldn’t figure out the issues until I prayed about it on the way to work Monday.

I think my feelings of frustration were related to a few factors. First, Lydia is growing more independent. So, she wants to have some say in what we do. I also want this for her, but to do that, I need to let go and let her. And that’s complicated sometimes. 🙂

Part of this is related to “puberty brain.” Normally, Lydia is obedient and reliable. But now, she “forgets” to complete tasks or wants to negotiate. That’s fine sometimes, but I put my foot down this past weekend and reset some boundaries. I know this is just the beginning, and communication will morph over the next few years. Again, this is all normal!

Another factor is that I have been the only adult at home for over a decade, which is a lot of responsibility. And, I have expectations about my house and space! Over time, I have taught Lydia to do various household tasks, but if she doesn’t follow through or moves like a sloth, I either have to do it or reinforce it… again. Both take more time and dilegence.

Free Medieval Castle Detail photo and picture

On Monday, I was also nervous about the timing of things at work. I had two complex patients coming on top of my regular patient load. They were expected to come back to back and had a lot of similarities which I needed to keep straight. I lost a little sleep about this, and so I was just a little grumpy with all that on my mind. 😉

Then, before work, I had to remind Lydia to move her shoes after I tripped on them. She knows not to leave them in the middle of the floor. I yelled out of exasperation and had to apologize. It all worked out, but on my way to work, I prayed and asked God to help me readjust… and as soon as I did, He did a little heart work!

On the radio, I heard a few songs, like Tasha Layton’s “Look What You’ve Done.” There’s a line about God tearing all the roots up from our hearts, getting rid of lies and replacing them with His Truth. I envisioned God taking my fears and grumpiness as I soaked up His love for me.

Then, I heard the song, “Cornerstone” by TobyMac. It was a great reminder of what really matters: Jesus. My identity is found in Christ alone, not in if the dishes get done (or if Lydia remembers them or not).

Jesus is my cornerstone, the perfect foundation. My security is found in Him. He is my hope, my joy, my peace. Jesus encompasses all I am, and His expectation is that I walk with Him. His mercy and grace cover all I do. No more, no less.

As Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Life can quickly change, and no two days are alike. If we let our circumstances or emotions run the show, we’ll keep spiraling out of control. One minute, we are “happy” when things go our way, and the next, we are losing our temper over towels left in the dryer. Ahem.

We can’t always predict how things will go, but we can run to God, who is our Rock. He is strong and steady, a sure place to land. He is the only thing that matters in the end.

I know the Lord will keep working in my heart and household. I have invited Him in and give Him full reign (sometimes hour by hour!). I am excited to see what Jesus does in me and who Lydia becomes in Him.

So today, instead of getting bent out of shape, I will let God shape me. He is the beginning and the end and knows all things. His plans for me are good and trustworthy! He can use any challenge for His purposes. Nothing is impossible for Him!

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God, thanks for being my foundation, my cornerstone. Thanks for the reminder that I am not in control and don’t need to be! Help me trust You more and let You direct my path. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Are you relying on God to steady you this week? How has He come through for you lately?

Task: Let God strip away everything that is not of Him. It is painful at times, but worth it! Check out this final song I heard on the radio, which helped tie everything together, “One Thing Remains” by Passion ft Kristian Stanfill.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Pivot, Procrastination, Wisdom

Fifteen Years

On Sunday, I celebrated fifteen years since I married Dave! It was my tenth anniversary without him here, but this anniversary felt fairly lightweight. Marrying Dave was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I am grateful for the time we had together.

Lydia reminds me of Dave daily; she’s a treasure like her dad. This weekend, we made a bit of forward progress… another project requiring more tools.

Fifteen years ago, Dave and I bought a closet organizer that had several pieces. We used it in our old house in Illinois but separated it into different rooms when we moved to North Dakota.


Over the last year or so, Lydia’s been requesting we remove the drawers and shelves that ended up in her room. The drawers have needed repairs on and off for ten years. I suppose fifteen years is a long time for particle board! Nonetheless, I kept putting it off.

Because of its size, it seemed like a lot of effort, mentally and physically. I knew I would have to do it all myself! But it was also emotionally tough because whenever I saw it, I could envision Dave installing it with great love and attention to detail. Oh, how he loved Lydia and wanted the best for her!

Well, thanks to our recent break from work and school, I finally felt relaxed and ready to tackle it. Lydia cleaned it out and cleared space. Then, I unscrewed it from the wall. We removed the drawers and shelves before I slowly pulled the unit down to the floor.

I’m pretty sure that the unit was just waiting to come down! Almost with a sigh of relief, it fell into two sections before hitting the floor! I could see what was happening, so I was prepared. Ironically, it saved me the effort of prying it loose! Then, the hinges on the door gave way, and the rest just came apart.

Finally, I carried it to the curb for garbage pickup on Monday. Lydia promptly moved her desk into that new space. It fits perfectly. In fact, the desk looks much better there than sticking out from the window, its previous location.



In hindsight, it was almost as if the wardrobe was just holding together until I could finally release it. It felt like an object lesson, a statement: It’s okay to hold onto the past for a little while, but it’s also good to let it go. That’s part of healing and moving forward.

I don’t know if you need to let something go… but maybe it’s time. It’s not that it means less now, but consider how you have grown past the point of needing it. Or, perhaps it is keeping you from growth.

Then again, maybe there’s nothing holding you back… But are you holding something else back? No rush. No pressure. Just something to consider. As Lysa TerKeurst says, “Emotions are indicators, not dictators.” God wants us to live a full life. But life is short, and we don’t have time to waste. 

Ultimately, we want to listen to Jesus and follow His timing in our lives. We don’t have to be afraid; He is trustworthy. He will make it clear when we need to keep moving forward!

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God, thanks for blessing me, protecting me, and providing for me. Thanks for the reminder to let go of things that aren’t good for me anymore so I can follow You more closely. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What is God asking you to do as a result of this blog post? Is there something holding you back from following Him?

Tasks: Take a little inventory of your environment, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Be brave and let go of what is not serving you well. Trust Jesus and keep moving forward!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward book, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Personality, Pivot, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Purpose in Provision

This week, I received a glowing performance appraisal at work, per usual. It was just what I expected because I do my best and the requirements are clear.  While I love what I do, and do it well, I sometimes compare my success or reward with others (even though I don’t have all the details to judge accurately!).

Instead of going into a downward spiral, I started thinking about all the ways God has provided for me, all the ways He recognizes or acknowledges me when others don’t. Sometimes, we feel we have everything we need, and sometimes, we feel lack. That doesn’t mean God is doing a poor job; perhaps we just lose our perspective occasionally. 

We may feel overlooked, forgotten, or unappreciated. It’s easy to focus on what someone else has or is doing and wish we had that, too. We want that friendship or relationship. We want the same chance or deal. We covet the opportunity, promotion, or the level of responsibility.

Often, there are hidden downsides to success. Just because someone looks successful doesn’t mean they appreciate it or have no other problems.

Free Mountains Forest photo and picture

I wonder how much time, effort, and skill it must’ve taken to get where that person is. In most cases, there are no overnight successes but just years of grueling labor.

Am I willing to do whatever it took for them to get there? These days, I’d say the chance is low, lol. I like my time and freedom! But if I do want to challenge myself, then I should start taking steps and learning now.

Flipping it around, I am reminded of what it took to get me here. It was quite the journey, and yet I am so grateful for all the ways God has shown up just for me…. with personalized provision for whatever I am going through each time. He is faithful!

In the off-chance that someone cheated or something truly was not fair, they will get what they have coming to them. It may take a little time, but God is just!

But, when life doesn’t seem fair, I remember that I am no longer of this world. I am a citizen of Heaven, and my Father knows exactly what I need. If there is any lack, King Jesus will soon make it right, so I don’t need to worry. His purpose for me is unique, so His provision is unique to my circumstances and environment. 

God’s purpose and provision are linked! I don’t need to compare ourselves or feel less than. If I stay close to Jesus, I will be right on track and have everything I need.

Free Mountain Banff photo and picture

I have a beautiful house, great neighbors, and an awesome family. I also have a job I feel was crafted just for me. I have favor with God, my manager, and my coworkers. Each of us has different qualifications and responsibilities that match. Each of us brings positive energy and a host of skills to our strong team. I just happen to work part-time with a nearly full-time schedule. I mentor others at work, and I am still available when Lydia needs me.

If my particular skills aren’t always recognized or rewarded, maybe that’s a good reminder that they are not the most important thing. I am called to serve, not gain attention. If there is something I need, God will make sure I get it in due time. (Psalm 84:11).

In fact, read John 21, paying attention to verse 22. Jesus wants us to focus on our own relationship with Him because our mission flows out of that. The best thing we can do is stay close to Him.

There are several things each of us can do while we wait. We can show up with a smile, do our best, and be honest. We can practice self-care (making sure we are eating well, moving a little, and sleeping enough). We can honor those around us and love them like Jesus. We can cultivate peace, joy, and contentment, along with gratitude and patience. Character counts!

Fear, self-centeredness, and lack seem to run together, don’t they? Instead, Jesus showed us how to live with an outward-focused, faith-filled, abundant life. Whatever purpose He has for us, we can be confident it includes His peace, preparation, and provision. He always comes through for us and knows exactly what we need!

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God, thanks for Your peace and provision! You take such good care of Your children. Help us remember You prepare us and provide for us according to Your unique purposes for us. Help us use all our strengths for Your glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are you doing to invest in your future? Are you complaining or planting seeds?

Tasks: Next time you feel slighted or overlooked, remember all the ways God takes care of you. Make a list if you have to! Remain close to Jesus. He is so good!