I recently finished a book called, And Still She Laughs: Defiant Joy in the Depths of Suffering, by Kate Merrick. This book took me by surprise. (No affiliate links!) It is somewhat like a memoir in that the author explains some details of her story. Her 8 year old daughter died of cancer and she shares glimpses into that ordeal.

Even though this tragedy happened years before, the book was more ‘raw’ than I expected. Still, I enjoyed it! While anyone could benefit from this book, I’d highly recommend the book for someone in the early years of grief and loss.

I really appreciated how the author compared her story to three ladies in the Bible. Ms. Merrick and King David’s mistress, Bathsheba, both lost a child under very different circumstances. Yet, God used the ups and downs, shame and embarrassment of Bathsheba’s story to comfort the author. Ms. Merrick wrote how Bathsheba walked with her through this chapter of her life.

Next, Abraham’s wife, Sarah, longed for a child so much that she took matters into her own hands. This created so… many… other… problems. I have read this story in Genesis 18:9-15 countless times—but somehow I must’ve misinterpreted Sarah’s laugh. I always thought she laughed because she was nervous… Nope!

9 “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him. “There, in the tent,” he said.

10 Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

13 Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”

Perhaps the biggest revelation to me in this entire book was that Sarah laughed out of bitterness. I imagine an eye roll with attitude, like, “Ha! Yeah right! I’ll believe that when it happens…” After years of waiting, she had let herself grow bitter with disappointment and unfulfilled dreams. Not only was I surprised by this, I was somewhat convicted too.

Because I realized… sometimes I act similarly. Whenever God shows me something good He wants to give me, but then makes me wait it out, I tend to doubt His goodness and plan. If I’m not careful, I can let that grow into bitterness and reject all the good God wants to do in me, for me, with me, and through me.

God is so gracious to heal and forgive! Sarah trusted God and then named her promised son, Isaac, which means laughter. What joy she must have felt after all those years! After this chapter, I decided to keep an open mind and not automatically laugh away things I don’t understand.

The last Biblical heroine to be discussed was Mary, the mother of Jesus. Again, this was rather enlightening because often, I read her story focused on the action surrounding Jesus…not on how she must’ve felt about all that happened.

It is interesting to compare and contrast these three ladies in Jesus’ genealogy. Where Bathsheba was comforting, and Sarah was convicting, Mary was challenging. Mary just had so much faith in what Jesus could/can do! Despite watching her beloved Son suffer and die on the Cross, she found joy in God’s promises to her.

The books ties up with a glimpse at the Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31:25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Regardless of our circumstances, we can choose joy—and even laugh—because of all Jesus has done (and continues to do) for us.

It’s safe to say, I gleaned more from this book than I thought I would.

There is freedom knowing Jesus carries us. We don’t have to solve all our problems; we just have to come to Him. We can laugh (or cry) in His presence and He will heal our hearts.

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God, thanks for the healing You bring. You are so good! Thanks for giving us joy and the ability to laugh despite our circumstances. May we stay in Your presence and soak up Your grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you read any good books lately? Do you have a recommendation for me?!

Tasks: If you are grieving or know someone who is, consider this book. <3