Monday was the tenth anniversary of Dave’s death. A whole decade without him. Not knowing how I would feel, I took time off to give myself the space to just be.
Sometimes we go away and do something special, but this year, we decided to do a staycation instead. Lydia and I celebrated Dave’s life by doing fun things all weekend. We played games, made brownies, went on a little hike, tried hyperbowling, and went out to eat a fancy dinner! I also went on a bike ride and got a massage while she was in school.
You’d think I’d have it all figured out by now. Been there, done that. But somehow, the last few months felt like I was going back to the beginning. Not necessarily in terms of deep grief but rather second-guessing myself. Like, “Why I am I still dealing with this or that?” I think it stemmed from being overwhelmed with work and other decisions while not having enough time to really rest.
Overwhelm is loosely related to fear, which, historically, has been a stronghold for me. I know when that happens, I need to re-evaluate and deal with it right away. So, as you may recall, I spoke up at work and made some personal changes. I prayerfully focused on quiet time with the Lord and self-care, such as exercise, sleep, simple meals, and restorative activities. I am feeling much better now!
Not too long ago, one of my dear college friends sent me a message that she was praying for me. She said, “The same God who was with you then is with you now. You have grown and changed and will continue to grow and change, but God has and will remain the same… mind-blowing!” She then quoted Psalm 62:5, “Find rest my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.”
Well, I think that’s a pretty good summary of God’s faithfulness! I could not do any of this without Him. He is so gracious and reliable. I feel His presence and wisdom when answering every one of Lydia’s many deep questions about life, death, Dave, and pre-teen worries.
Thanks to all those who continue to support us through prayer, words of encouragement, and the occasional hand around the house. I have an amazing family, neighbors, coworkers, and friends. I appreciate each person who sends a card, a prayer, a well-timed word, or helps around the house on occasion.
So, while Monday was a near-perfect day, honestly, I was a little relieved when it was over. We made it through,
but it’s just a lot, you know? Then yesterday, I heard this song, “
Hallelujah Anyway,” by Rend Collective. It was a great reminder that our hope is in Jesus. “Even if” or when life goes awry, God is still in control and on His throne, we have the Holy Spirit working in us, and we have eternity with Jesus in Heaven.
Our emotions and circumstances don’t dictate our response to God’s presence in our lives. I hope you can say “hallelujah anyway” through whatever you face today. God is worthy of all our praise and gratitude. He is so good!
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God, we praise You, when things go well and even when they don’t… because You are worthy through it all. Thanks for Your grace and goodness. May we be a living example of Your love today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Question: In what ways might you say, “hallelujah anyway” today?
Task: Life is so short. Make sure to celebrate and appreciate all the goodness in your life. Remember to praise God and thank Him, as He is the source of all good things!
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