“Maybe we should stop disliking people for what we have heard and be grateful God does not dislike us for what He knows.” –TobyMac

That quote reminds me of the impact of our words. Recently, someone was talking negatively about a friend of mine and put me in an awkward position. Yes, my friend certainly has faults, but I still enjoy their company.

I couldn’t discern if the person talking to me was jealous of my friend or actually had valid information. Either way, I heard an earful of unwanted gossip and was caught off guard.

While I tried to defend my friend, I don’t think I did an adequate job. Now that I’ve collected my thoughts, I’ll be sure to speak up next time. In the meanwhile, here’s what I should have said to the other person, but didn’t.

I don’t know about all that, but I really appreciate my friend! They have been good to me. They have selflessly helped me in countless ways over the years, often putting their own tasks on hold. I have learned so much from them, just as they have learned from me.

We have prayed for each other, and we have seen each other grow in Christ. Yes, perhaps they still have things to work on, but I’m grateful for how far they’ve come.

Furthermore, I want to see the good in people and hope they do the same for me. God knows I have faults too. But, because of Jesus, we have received mercy, grace, and forgiveness. We should extend the same toward others.

Similarly, let’s offer the benefit of the doubt. We weren’t there, so we don’t know the full story. Even if we were there, we wouldn’t necessarily know why things happened.

That doesn’t mean we ignore bad behavior, make excuses, or skip accountability. Yes, restitution is important, but there are many complex factors involved. It’s not always an easy, black-and-white answer.

Instead, when I sense an issue needs to be addressed, I ask my friend for their input and perspective. We don’t always agree, but we trust each other. We don’t make assumptions; we try to understand each other’s heart and intentions.

Remember, each person has God-given potential and a unique purpose. If we define someone by all their faults and failures, it’s likely they’ll never rise above them and fulfill God’s plan for their life.

They won’t come higher unless we raise our expectations of them. Let’s challenge them and encourage them along the way. Let’s agree with God and call out the good we see.

Let’s focus on everyone’s strengths, and cover their weaknesses with love. Let’s pray for people and mentor them, when possible. Not everyone is our responsibility to reach, but we can still set a godly example and point people to Jesus.

We need to be very careful not to ruin someone’s reputation with hearsay. So, let’s walk in a worthy manner and be wise in our interactions with everyone. We never know what they may glean from us… positive or negative influences that shape who they become.

We cannot change anyone, but we can extend grace toward everyone so they see Jesus and come to Him. Watching our words is difficult at times. But with Jesus, nothing is impossible.

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God, thanks for Your great mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Please help us continue to grow and get along with each other. Give us the unity of heart and purpose. Strengthen our relationships with each other so we can bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you deal with gossip? What else should I have said?

Tasks: Before you talk about someone, check your own heart. Memorize Ephesians 4:29, which says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)