Month: February 2018

Posted on in Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Wisdom, Worship

My All In All

Recently, I ran into a friend that I haven’t seen for several months. As we briefly caught up, he said that if I needed help with things around the house to keep him posted.

He said, “I know you’re pretty self-sufficient, but if you need help with clearing snow, let me know.” It was a kind offer but on the flip-side almost seemed as if he was implying that I could probably take care of it…so perhaps I don’t really need help…

At first, I just laughed and said thanks. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Besides, when it snows, I am outside by 5:30 in the morning if it is a school-and-work day. I don’t have much time to wait—and would not expect someone to come that early!

Still, the idea of self-sufficiency stood out to me. My friend doesn’t know that I have lyrics to the song, ‘Lord, I Need You‘ by Matt Maher next to my bathroom mirror…and the song comes up right away in my google search bar.

Yes, every hour I need the Lord… and with His help, I do what needs to be done.

Growing up, I gained a good work ethic and a variety of skills that serve me well in this stage of life. Perhaps reading all those ‘Wild West’ pioneer stories about women on the frontier helped develop fortitude, too! 😉

There is no need to apologize for being independent…because life can be tough!

But for me, it’s less about self-reliance and more about God’s grace and provision. I know if God leads me to something, He will help me through it. My goal is to do my best for Him.

I know so many people have more difficulties than I do, so I don’t ever want to take my situation for granted. Generally, I try to have a good attitude and not complain…

Honestly, every day has unique challenges. But in most cases, I just grin and bear it…and try to keep moving forward. Those closest to me know I don’t have it all together. 🙂 So it seems that other people probably just don’t see me struggle.

After talking to my friend, I read John 5. Verse 19 caught my attention: “Jesus gave them this answer: ‘Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.'”

The entire passage is good, but for me, this verse was a good gut-check. Am I trying to do too much on my own? Do I seek the Lord’s input as I go about my day? Do I readily ask for His help or struggle unnecessarily?

No matter what, I can always choose to depend on the Lord more! He alone is my sufficiency. Everything I need to be is in Jesus; I cannot be productive or effective without Him. It is vain to attempt anything in my own strength. Trust me, it never goes as smoothly!

Jesus is strong when I am weak. His grace covers me. His love carries me.

He always comes through for me!

I love that God is always working in me, through me, with me, and for me…to bless others and bring Him glory. If I just focus on what God is doing around me and join Him, everything else will take care of itself. I don’t have to do everything, just that ONE thing.

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Father God, how great is Your love! Thanks for the reminder that You are all I need. Your grace is sufficient! Help me remember to come to for help…first thing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you consider yourself to be self-sufficient or independent? What are your best skills? Do you let God use your skills and tailor them for His purposes?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “My All In All” by Phil Wickham. Rely on Jesus!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #103

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was really full but good! On Monday, Lydia was off school for President’s day. We ran errands, went to Lydia’s dentist appointment, and went to a local (monthly) writers meeting. I also made some cheesecake to use up some ingredients before they expired. 🙂

On Tuesday, I spoke at a local mom’s group about end-of-life decisions, went to work, twice cleared snow off my driveway, and sent Lydia to bed early (yay for discipline!). That night, a good friend came over for a ‘girls talk’ and we enjoyed cheesecake together. I also chatted with another friend about the Olympics. It was just what I needed!

On Thursday, I took some time for myself while Lydia was at school. I listened to a healthy eating podcast, exercised, did some writing, and read a book. It felt good to relax! That day, I also attended an important meeting with a dear friend who needed support. My neighbors watched Lydia for me and fed her dinner. Then, my neighbor walked Lydia back to our house and brought homemade cookies! I am thankful for her generosity!

It was beautiful and frosty this morning when we went to cheerleading. Now, we are enjoying a gentle snowfall. I might have to clear snow later, but it feels very cozy right now. We did some reading, art projects, and are planning to watch a movie tonight!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

On Feelings and Frostbite

Yesterday (Tuesday), I had the opportunity to speak at a local moms group. By request, I shared my story in light of making end-of-life decisions. My goal was to provide perspective and offer basic information for these moms.

Through a casual conversation, we discussed wills, trusts, life insurance, and more. To be clear, I am not an expert on any of these topics. But I have experienced the how-tos and what-not-to-dos.

I also recommended these ladies consult with an attorney, accountant, and/or a financial planner. I don’t recommend taking a lot of unwarranted risks in these areas!

I really enjoyed speaking with these moms, and afterward, I went to work like usual. But the emotions caught up with me there (unexpectedly), as my coworker and I just-so-happened to discuss similar topics. Gotta love God’s timing!

Occasionally, I still get a little teary-eyed when discussing all we went through with cancer. And lately, I have been reflecting on our journey more anyway…

I know March will be here soon, and I can’t help but think of two important times. First, I recall March 2010 when Dave found his job in Fargo. We moved later that year, which set the stage for other big life changes.

I’ve also been thinking of March 2013 when Dave was so sick and near death (he died in May that year). That was a tumultuous time and we felt desperate.

This flux of emotions tends to cycle through periodically, though as we move toward March, I have felt it more. Perhaps that’s because we are also fast-approaching another milestone: the five year anniversary of Dave’s death.

Yesterday, we also received several inches of snow. That’s not unusual for February, but I still had to blow snow in the dark of morning and shovel twice. For me, snow removal builds character (ha!), but yesterday, I was more reflective.

In the afternoon, I shoveled away the snow and contemplated my sadness. The physical activity was good for me and channeled my emotions into something productive.

I thought it would be a quick job, so didn’t change out of my work clothes. I wore lightweight dress pants and my lightweight gloves. I didn’t wear a hat and my hood kept falling off. I wanted to work quickly so my fingers wouldn’t freeze!

After about twenty minutes, I thought about going inside to warm up. But, I was still praying through my emotions and just wanted to finish. I threw more snow on already-high mounds. It was difficult because it required a lot of effort to corral the snow!

Soon, my fingers weren’t cold anymore—they were numb.

It was only when I came in about fifteen minutes later that I noticed my fingers again. They were bright red and tingled, like other parts of my skin. There was no frostbite, but that’s not unheard of with extreme wind chills like we have in Fargo.

Thankfully, I had gotten through both the snow and the rough emotions.

Praise God, I felt so much better!

As I put away my snow shovel, I thought about how people manage their emotions in a similar manner. Many people try to ‘shovel away’ their sorrows, without actually understanding the pain. It’s like having spiritual or emotional frostbite.

They bury sadness and grief, frustration and remorse, anger and resentment without dealing with them. They don’t allow themselves the time to heal. Some people freeze their feelings, becoming numb and unable to function properly.

For me, the pain can still feel rough at times, though it has gotten much better overall.

Nonetheless, I still allow myself to feel my emotions and pray them through. The feelings don’t last forever, and I know it will be okay…sooner or later.  

Like snow, healing is messy. It can be difficult work to decipher our feelings and keep them contained. Yet, I always learn more about myself in the process. Reaching a new level of healing or self-understanding isn’t always fun…but it is a valuable gift!

Yesterday, I was also reminded of God’s grace and goodness. Only He can bring full healing. And, the more I share my story, the more grateful I become.

God has been so faithful to me. He has provided for me in ways I cannot even explain. Despite my losses, He has never let me down. What Victory!

Yes, when everything feels like it is falling apart, Jesus is there. He is greater than my pain or problems, and He loves me through each trial. He protects me and allows me to be myself—feelings and all. By His grace, He holds me together!

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Dear God, thank You so much for your grace and goodness. Thanks for taking such great care of me. Please direct my path and guide me on this journey. Thanks that I don’t have to get stuck emotionally. I choose to move forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you experienced any signs of spiritual or emotional frostbite? Will you let Jesus handle it?

Tasks: Listen to ‘King of My Heart’ by Kutless and ‘I Will Call Upon the Lord’ by Elevation Worship. Write down your feelings and experiences in a journal. Trust in Jesus!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #102

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was really good! On Sunday night, I was preparing for the week ahead, which included meals, dishes, and laundry. Lydia was watching the Olympics and asked for an after-dinner snack. I hadn’t eaten my meal yet and was a little short with her. She offered me an emoji stress ball that she uses when she is “stretched.” Her misinterpretation was cute and a good reminder not to take myself so seriously.

This week, I went to two movies in the theater! Lydia and I went with a friend to see ‘Peter Rabbit’ on Sunday afternoon. Then, on Monday, I went to see ‘The Greatest Showman.’ Both were good in their own ways. I don’t see too many movies in the theater, but was glad it worked out!

This week I had a great conversation with a dear friend in Illinois. All week we’ve been comparing notes about various events at the Olympics. One night, I called her to catch up with her and spent some time listening and encouraging her. I was encouraged too!

Today, another dear friend watched Lydia for me while I had a meeting. They went to cheerleading and out to lunch. I was grateful for her help! Tonight we plan to watch a movie at home…and/or the Olympics. 😉

It has been a beautiful sunny day for us! I have noticed the mornings are getting brighter and the sun is staying up longer. God is so good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Wisdom

Valentine’s Victories

A couple weeks ago, I was discouraged when I received some not-so-great feedback on a writing project. My writing coach thought I could do a better job. I was rather disheartened until a friend popped into my office unexpectedly and encouraged me.

So imagine my relief on Monday of this week when I received positive feedback instead! I had revised the same material from before and my writing coach was pleased with the improvements.

As we talked, I explained how frustrated I was previously and how difficult this task had been for me. We discussed how our most challenging work often happens to be the most important.

Sometimes the ‘edits’ are easy—like grammar and punctuation—and don’t affect the overall content. But other times, the edits are tough. Content revisions are more important structurally, and in my case, lay the foundation for the next round.

There will be a bigger payoff later if I do the hard work now.

As I realized the significance of the work I had done, I was excited. I had pushed through this perceived setback, and to me, it felt like a breakthrough.

The victory made we want to celebrate! Soo, on a whim, I decided to go to the movies!

On my way to the theater, I praised God for the writing victory and thanked Him for the movie, too. It almost felt like a Valentine’s date because God blessed me so much that day.

I used a gift certificate to buy my ticket and also bought a kid-sized popcorn (not wanting to over-do it!). I even shared some “snack cash” coupons with the couple in front of me.

I watched ‘The Greatest Showman’ and I’m so glad I did!

The movie was fabulous and I highly recommend it! The music (soundtrack) was also so inspiring. Without giving too much away, I loved the overall message about being yourself and appreciating each other’s differences. It makes you consider what is really important.

Most—if not all—of us have felt like we don’t belong at times. There are days when we struggle with feeling like we don’t measure up. Or, maybe we have been rejected and treated poorly… Sometimes, it’s totally unfair!

Some people feel down on Valentine’s Day if they don’t have a ‘special someone.’ I can understand that perspective. But, don’t be discouraged. Turn those feelings around and make someone else feel special.

Sometimes, we overlook how powerful it is to love people and show kindness every day. Even just a little note or phone call can have great impact.

Remember, whether or not you have Valentine’s plans is not a determination of your worth. You are so very loved!

In Christ, we have infinite value. If we have that perspective, we see that with Jesus, we can thrive. When we keep our eyes on Him, we see His grace and blessings—not our lack.

In Jesus, we have Victory! We are MORE THAN CONQUERORS!

 My little girl, Lydia, reminded me of this Victorious perspective in a recent drawing.

I asked her to explain the picture, which to me, looked a little like four people at a disco party… 😉 Lydia explained, “This is a picture of my family. The first person is my daddy, then you and me, and then God.”

Lydia is starting to understand the difference between immediate and extended family…

I loved that she drew what was in her heart, including both her daddy, Dave, and her Heavenly Father, God. And, the disco figures made me smile. 

I see Lydia’s confidence in God’s love for her as a huge Victory!

Nothing can compare to God’s love for us! He is soo good!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for taking such good care of me. Thank you for leading me to Victory. Help me stay close to You and keep the right perspective. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you had a personal breakthrough recently? Have you seen any good movies lately? How can you show God’s love to others today?

Tasks: Write down your victories in a journal so you can remember them. Celebrate your successes and thank God for all He has done.

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous, Perseverance

Finding Grace #101

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was jam-packed both with activities and God’s grace! On Sunday, Lydia and I ate lunch with some new friends. We had fun getting to know a mom and daughter from church! I also learned my new friend’s husband worked at Caterpillar when my late-husband, Dave, did. It was so cool they knew some of our story! And, it was comforting to see how God continues to place encouraging people in my life.

This week a good friend received some news that seemed really unfair. In fact, it may mean the end of a personal dream. Still, we know that God has a good plan for her life, a plan full of hope and a meaningful future. I will be watching to see how God uses her and provides for her in new ways…He is faithful!

This week, work turned out kind of odd. It went well, except that none of my patients showed up! Nonetheless, I used my time wisely and was able to work on a few projects. But it was a little funny to have my schedule open up unexpectedly!

After school yesterday, Lydia and I went sledding at a local park! Despite the temperature only being 5 degrees (F), we had so much fun and enjoyed having the hill to ourselves. We will definitely be going back…and next time will bring our ice skates, too!

Going sledding helped us get excited for the winter Olympics! We are looking forward to several events, including ice skating, speed skating, snowboarding, and luge. It’s always fun to watch athletes at their peak! I’m praying for extra grace for the athletes… and for the politics. It is cool to see so many cultures coming together! I’m sure it makes God happy too!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

It’s Totally Unfair!

This has been an… ‘interesting’… year already. I have seen God direct my path and use me to make a practical difference in other peoples’ lives. But, honestly, I’ve also seen some things that seem totally unfair to me or others…

For example, recently a friend slipped on her child’s Legos in the dark, hitting her entertainment center—with her face.  She busted her nose and needed major surgery. An accident yes, but still unfair.

Another friend had to forgive someone for major offenses when they clearly didn’t deserve it. Forgiveness is required for that relationship to move forward. But it’s definitely not fair.

I have seen friends struggle with various injustices, such as discrimination, financial difficulties, and health problems, too. It is easy to see how anger and resentment build up.

My own story is complex with its own challenges and I know yours is, too. We don’t have time to rehash or compare our stories here… Besides, these issues are not always bad—though at times they really do seem unfair.

Most of us, if we allow ourselves, could easily go down the “poor me” path or the “this would be better if” road. But one thing is certain: Complaining doesn’t help.

If our emotions are allowed to run the show, we will get stuck and never move forward! Instead, I have learned the best thing I can do is redirect my focus back to Jesus. When we bring Him our fear, pain, sorrow, anger, resentment, and embarrassment, He gives us hope, healing, wholeness, peace, forgiveness, and joy.

We can trust Jesus through and through. As both God and man, He has a unique perspective. He understands what each of goes through because He has been there, too.

You see, Jesus faced the same types of battles. Quite often, He didn’t know where His next meal was coming from or where He would sleep. Yet, He was expected to help people at all hours of the day/night. He was often put to the test and judged unfairly. He was used by the people but rarely thanked.

Also, Jesus was like a local celebrity so He was scrutinized at a higher level. He never could win over everyone—but He reached out to help as many as would receive Him.

All Jesus did was done with love. He healed people and comforted them. He even raised the dead back to life! He taught new ways to love and used His own life as an example to follow. Yet, he was still rejected.

Then, at the end of His young life, Jesus was wrongly accused and suffered a horrible death on the cross. Completely unfair. But to Jesus, we were worth it. He loves us so very much!

When I compare my conditions to what Jesus faced, I have no room to grumble. Jesus was well-acquainted with the ups and downs of life. So… if Jesus had to struggle, then we have no excuse.

At least we are in good company!

By definition, grace is an unmerited or unearned favor. Yes, God’s grace toward us is also unfair! We don’t deserve any of it!

Thankfully, God does not see our uncertain circumstances like we do. He can see the end from the beginning—and His thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours.

Trials have a way of refining us for the better—though it may take some time to see how. But no matter what we face, God loves us and is for us. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. He leads us and guides us.

God never changes. And no problem or difficulty—however big or bad—can change God’s goodness toward us. He has us covered!

Yes, God’s grace is unchanging, unfailing, unrelenting, unearned—and praise God, totally unfair!!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Jesus! Your everlasting love and abundant grace toward us are beyond unfair. Thank You! Help us have the right attitude as we walk in grace, love, and forgiveness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you respond when life seems unfair? Can you trust Jesus?

Tasks: Listen to “O’Lord” by Lauren Daigle and “Grace that Won’t Let Go,” by Mark Harris

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #100

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week’s events carried a lot of personal impacts! On Tuesday, God encouraged me in the most unlikely of places… at work. A church friend showed up unexpectedly and talked me through something I was dealing with. I’m grateful!

Lydia’s had a cold on and off this week, so that means extra snuggles for me. I’m grateful we are both generally very healthy. And, I am thankful it is just a cold that should pass quickly. Thanks, God, for healing! 

This weekend, I attended a special training at church. It coincides with my ministry area and I was happy to build on my skills. I’m excited to see God use the training in my life and others! A friend watched Lydia for me and took her to cheerleading, too. Both events were at our church, so we were able to have lunch together despite the longer day.

Today marks the 100th ‘Finding Grace’ weekly recap!! When I started, I really didn’t know how long (or if) I would still be blogging at this point. So this seems like a notable milestone. God is good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!