Month: May 2016

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting

Finding Grace #12

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

full rainbow

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

    • On Monday, I went to an all-day women’s conference in Fargo. I wasn’t thrilled about sitting down for almost 10 hours, yet we had several breaks throughout the day, and this year was the best yet! Each speaker was so good; I enjoyed every minute. I even met a Registered Dietitian I have followed for years. So that was really cool! I’m so thankful for a 10-hour drop-in daycare and that Lydia is fairly flexible and enthusiastic in these situations. “Lydia, you will get to eat breakfast and lunch there…but I will pick you up before supper time.”  I packed her bag full of fun, healthy foods and she was set. “Oh, YES! I’m so excited!”
  • On Tuesday, I mowed the lawn. Not super exciting, but the forecast predicted rain all week and I wanted to stay on top of it. Then, I decided to water the grass because it was extra crispy. I haven’t watered the grass in three years, but since it is so early in the season, I needed to do something about it! Lydia played with the neighbors the entire time. We didn’t go to bed until after 9pm that night. It was so beautiful and sunny. We thoroughly enjoyed our time outside!
  • On Wednesday, I woke up sore from moving the water hose around the yard…only to see it raining. (I actually love a good rain storm and even saw a rainbow later!) Lydia had been hoping for rain all week so she could use her new Hello Kitty umbrella! So, we headed outside to walk around in the rain for a few minutes. Then, we stayed outside so Lydia could enjoy the experience. 🙂 Hey, life is short! She rode her bike in the rain, jumped in a large puddle, and picked clover “flowers.” We also played catch with a tennis ball. It was great to see her delight in such simple joys.
  • Friday afternoon’s weather brought a thunderstorm and a couple ‘little’ tornadoes in a neighboring town! Later, we spent the evening with my friend, Amy, and her family. Amy recently graduated from college and I am so proud of her. We were introduced by mutual friends, after our husbands died of cancer. We’ve been encouraged by each other over the last couple of years, as we have shared our stories. Amy has three young school-aged children and has worked so hard these last few years to provide for her family by pursuing (and finishing) her degree. College is difficult enough, but I cannot imagine doing it with kids. Like me, Amy has also relied on God to get her through. What a testament of His grace in her life… empowering Amy to do the impossible!
  • Today, Lydia and I had a special day together. We went to the Fargo zoo, had a picnic lunch at the park, had a tea party, painted her nails at home and few other activities. Our week was jammed with many fun and interesting activities, but these are the highlights. I am continually amazed to see how diverse our experiences have been each week. God is writing a wonderful story, and I am so thankful for His grace as I see it unfold day by day.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Wisdom

Before and After

According to Donald Miller, every great story has at least six to eight “story turns” or “life turns.” Generally, the plot is built around story turns. These are pivotal moments in the story because once a character goes through that ‘door,’ they can never turn back. These moments change the character and life will never be the same again.

Story turns can be good, like getting married, having a baby, or landing a dream job. (The positive stress that comes with those is called eustress.) Somehow though, moments of distress seem to be the most memorable. Is that because we tend to focus on the negativity, or because they actually have the most potential to bring change?

time for change

I don’t always appreciate change. I like my comfort zone! Often, change isn’t comfortable, but it is good and necessary long-term. Change makes life interesting!

Two of my biggest story turns felt like a one-two punch: Dave’s cancer diagnosis followed by his death 364 days later. I had to learn to walk a new path. Things feel better (most days), but that’s largely because God has carried us as we have adjusted to our new normal. It still feels crazy sometimes, but God keeps reminding me to rest.

Dave and I learned so much when he was sick. But after Dave died, God brought me to a whole new level of grace. Grace for myself. I simply could not keep up with everything on my should-do list. So, I had to relax my standards…and then relax them again.

I knew if I was going to get through the grief process, I was going to need God’s help. Grief is a process. Change is a process. It hasn’t been easy, but in His strength, I’ve been able to accomplish what He has for me to do (Philippians 4:13). Jesus said He would never leave me, and I have chosen to trust Him to show me the way. I’ve relied on His power, and He has given me His peace (John 14:27).

Colossians 3_15

As a Registered Dietitian and Nutritionist, I often see “before and after” client photos or food journals. It is gratifying to see the differences after even a few changes are made. Many of them are difficult to implement, but carry life-changing potential.

So, here are some of my “before and after” snapshots (figuratively speaking):

Before, I tried to plan my way to a perfect outcome (or life). Now, I keep planning in perspective. My new motto in many areas is, “Close enough is good enough.” (It doesn’t apply to everything, but it’s a really good ‘get out of jail free’ card most days!)

Before, fear was closely linked to my perfectionist tendency to plan for all contingencies. I often had a nagging feeling that something could go wrong. Now, I praise God fear is no longer a stronghold in my life. I have learned to let things go… In fact, I rarely have any fear at all. And when I do, I catch it right away and deal with it.

Before, I worried about decisions, trying to figure out all the details in advance. I still believe planning is wise, but I don’t over-plan due to fear and worry. Now, I wait to make a decision until I have peace about it. Of course, that doesn’t mean I know all the information beforehand. But, I’m okay with that now. I don’t have to have ALL the answers to walk by FAITH. I know God will come through for me, so I wait for His peace.

May 15th 2016_Three years

Before, I would do everything I could to avoid confrontation. (I was also more of a people-pleaser!) I respectfully address and resolve conflict much quicker now, not letting simple issues drag on. Perhaps I have a shorter fuse now. One thing I do know is that Life is too short to get worked up about petty issues!

Before, I was always busy but didn’t feel like I made much progress in any area. After Dave died, God streamlined my focus. So now, I am doing less random activity, but having much more impact in areas that are important to me. I have felt much more fruitful and productive these last few years.

How about you? What are your biggest “before and after” moments?

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God, You are good! Thank You for writing our stories with Your love and grace. Thanks for being with us on the journey. Draw us near to You, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: As you look back on significant “life turns,” can you see how God shown His faithfulness to you? How has your life been changed as a result?

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #11

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

orchids

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

  • This week has been awesome. We’ve had visitors all week! First, my mom, aunt, and sister came for a few days. After they left, a dear friend from college came to visit for a long weekend. We all had a blast laughing, sharing our stories, shopping, and eating delicious food. It was a fun and fairly restful week, even though we all stayed up way too late enjoying ourselves! We had gorgeous weather, and I also enjoyed catching up with my neighbors outside.
  • My sister and brother-in-law gave me a beautiful orchid this week in remembrance of Dave. There are many different types of orchids—what variety! But I like the purplish/fuschia ones the best. (My sister didn’t know it, yet that’s the one she gave me!) I think they are so pretty! I am amazed at how delicate they are, yet their blooms last for longer than many other plants.
  • Yesterday (Friday), my friend and I went to a ‘junk market’ where we perused vintage, antique, and up-cycled items. We saw many interesting objects, and I found a couple small heart magnets for the fridge. Lydia got some hair clips from someone who also has an online Etsy shop. I also bought some locally made raspberry and strawberry jam! As we walked around, I thought about how God remakes us to be more like Him. We are His masterpiece. We each have a unique, God-given purpose—He doesn’t make mistakes. He restores us and makes all things new! (see Ephesians 2:10 and 2 Corinthians 5:17)

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Wisdom, Words

Sharing Our Stories

Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement around the three year anniversary of Dave’s death! My mom and aunt visited for a few days to celebrate Dave and comfort me.

I kept their visit as a surprise from Lydia, but the joke was on me. My sister also came…to surprise ME! We had a wonderful visit: shopping, eating yummy food, and sharing stories.

I love how each of our lives interconnect. I’m thankful we encourage and support each other through the ups and downs of Life. I also love a good cup of coffee. 🙂

I don’t need anything fancy! I’ll drink coffee at home with milk, most days. Even better, I enjoy coffee with a friend, sharing stories and experiences, learning from each other.

coffee

What’s more, I love how each of us can impact those around us with the stories of our personal lives. Never underestimate the power or significance of your story.

Whether you enjoy coffee or not, don’t be afraid to share your story with those around you. Even total strangers can benefit!

The night before my visitors arrived, my mom had an interesting conversation with the cashier at a certain store. She was picking up some snacks and a little trinket for Lydia.

“Oh you must be going on a trip!” said the cashier, an older woman.

My mom mentioned the reason for her trip, and told the cashier a little of my story. The lady grew quiet, and said, “My daughter is a younger widow, too. She doesn’t have small children now, but she is having a difficult time.” (Her husband died in a sudden accident.)

My mom is compassionate and understanding in these types of moments. Through the course of their conversation, Mom shared about my blog, and that God has taken such good care of us. We are not angry with God, and keep moving forward.

This prompted the cashier to say, “I don’t really know how to get ahold of God.” So, Mom explained the basic gospel message to her. They chatted a little more. Then, the lady wrote a few things down, and squeezed my mom’s hand as she left.

2 Corinthians 1_3-4

Isn’t God good?! He meets us right where we are, and longs to comfort us. After all, our personal life stories are just a small part of the greater one He is writing.

We overcome by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus!) and the word of our testimony (see Revelation 12:11). As we share our stories, we are healed. But it doesn’t stop there. It is not all about us. Our redemptive stories also bring God glory and bless others. Knowing this makes my pain more bearable!

We have the ability to affirm and speak God’s truth to one another! Once we have worked through our own mess, we become His messengers to others. When infused with His grace and wisdom, our words bring His power to set people free.

Please note: I am not suggesting to “spill your guts” or share other people’s secrets (gossip). If you need help processing your pain, please consider professional input.

latte with heart

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20).

Did you catch that? What was meant for evil—to hurt or stop us—God is working for good. Our pain does not go wasted. God collects each and every tear we cry. If we let Him, God will redeem our experiences and help someone else grow closer to Him, too.

Yes, grief and other emotions are normal. But we cannot stay there. Instead of dwelling on the loss, the anger, the negativity… Take it to Jesus. His love never fails. Let Him walk you through to Victory, and then share what He has done in your life with others.

At the end of you life, the only thing that will matter is your relationship with Jesus Christ, followed by how you treated other people. We can’t take our stuff with us!

Ultimately, the coffee won’t matter, but our stories will.

So speak up. Tell your story. See God heal your heart and touch the lives of others. Our stories (and lessons learned) can change lives—even to the point of eternity.

Isn’t that worth it?

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God of all comfort, thank You for healing our hearts. Give us courage to share the deep parts of our lives with others. Give us wisdom and grace as we encourage and learn from each other. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: If you like coffee, how do you like it best? What part of your personal story (testimony) could be shared to encourage or comfort someone else?

 

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #10

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

cherry-blossom

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

  • This week was all about relationships. I had multiple meaningful conversations each day of the week. Deep conversations are my most favorite way to connect with people, so I was thrilled! I talked with neighbors, fellow writers, church friends, moms, widows, and old college friends, among others. We made changes on projects, made new plans, discussed difficult phases of life, and just caught up on other things. With the plethora of people I talked with, I felt the Lord was reminding me that I am not alone. And, I impact other people’s lives, too. We’re all in this together!
  •  I have been praying about and reflecting on the third year mark of my late husband’s death, as mentioned in my last two Wednesday posts (here and here). I’ve noticed each time I read my Bible, I come across at least one scripture verse that says God is our refuge, shelter, strength, and shield. Isn’t that cool?! Actually, I just realized this pattern a day or so ago, but it has been going on for the last few weeks.
  • It seems as that anniversary of Dave’s death grows closer, the magnitude of God’s grace and love has increased. It’s as if He is pulling out all the stops to encourage me! Not only has the Lord surrounded me with an increase of amazing people all around, but He also has reminded me that He is My Refuge, My Protector, and My Defense.

“But I will sing of your strength,
    in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
    my refuge in times of trouble.

You are my strength, I sing praise to you;
    you, God, are my fortress,
    my God on whom I can rely.”

Psalm 59:16-17

  •  I love all the flowering trees in Spring. I wish they could last all year, they’re so pretty! To think that each type of blossom or tree reflects only a small part of who God is (not to mention the diversity in everyone and everything else)… What beauty and creativity! God you are so good to us!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Worship

It Is Well

In a few days, it will be three years since my late husband died of colon cancer. As such, I’ve been reflecting on our journey these last few years. Lydia and I think and talk about Dave often. And, I consider all the ways God helped us and came through for us.

I’ve also been thinking about how we honored Dave’s life at his funeral. Dave had no preferences, leaving the details up to me. My mom helped me choose the flowers, and I asked my dad to speak during the service. I picked out the songs.

Dave obit pic

I chose “Give Me Jesus,” because at the end of his life, Dave was still sure of his faith. Shortly before he died, when asked if there was anything he needed, Dave’s response was: “I just want Jesus.”

The other two songs were classic hymns: “Victory in Jesus” and a personal favorite, “It Is Well with My Soul.” They felt like anthems proclaiming God’s goodness and faithfulness.

Somehow, in the midst of my grief, I looked past my pain to believe God still had a good plan for me and Lydia…though I could not see or understand what that was.

These songs inspire me to praise and trust God…when things go well and when they don’t. First day. Last day. Best day. Worst day. He is constant. Just…give…me…Jesus.

Psalm 28_7

Lately, I’ve been singing a newer version of “It Is Well,” a powerful song from Bethel Music. Lydia was too little three years ago to know we sang the original (classic) version at her Daddy’s funeral. Nonetheless, it has been moving to hear her belt out some of the lyrics!

I am simply amazed at how far God has brought us. He is still with us, showing us the path ahead. He has never left me alone to fend for myself. God has held me close, a strong and steady anchor in the storms of life. I’m so thankful for His help!

That first year without Dave was a struggle, though each year has had its own challenges. At one point, I wrote down a set of personal statements, which felt like drawing a line in the sand.

I posted little notes all over the house, and declared them out loud, often several times a day. They helped me refocus on the Lord in my deepest grief. I still review them often!

It is well

Today, I am sharing them with you. I hope they help you, too, in your tough moments. God’s promises fill us with hope. Therefore, I linked a few Bible verses after each sentence if you would like to read and ponder them.

I trust You, Jesus.

Psalm 28:7, Proverbs 3:5, Isaiah 26:4, Nahum 1:7

Lord, I need You.

Psalm 9:18, Psalm 40:17, Psalm 72:12

I will wait for You.

Psalm 27:14, Psalm 33:20, Micah 7:7

You’ve never failed before!

Exodus 14:14, Joshua 21:45, Luke 1:37

I receive Your peace and provision.

Numbers 6:24-26, Job 10:12, Psalm 29:11, Isaiah 26:3

stormy sea

Do you feel defeated today? Perhaps life looks anything but well. I’ve been there. Yet, as my dad so poignantly said at his beloved son-in-law’s funeral:

“You don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.”

You may be experiencing peace and quiet today, or tossing to and fro. Either way, take it to Jesus. Cling to Him in both the calm and the chaos. He is the King!

As you trust in God’s love for you, stand firm on His promises. He will bring You through with Victory. And, I pray that you, too, will soon be able to say: “It is well with me.”

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God, thank You for your loyal and unwavering love. You are so good. As we speak Your truth over our circumstances, may we rest in Your grace and peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When facing life’s uncertainties, do you turn to God first…or last? How can I pray for you today?

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #9

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Mother's Day 2016

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

  • This week oozed with grace. And I certainly felt the need. At every turn, I felt God calling me to let Him handle my concerns. Previously, I would have felt overwhelmed by all the items on my “should-do” list. This week, I purposefully delayed some of those tasks, which included postponing a writing deadline by two days.
  • I was consistently pulled in many directions this week. You too?! But, I laid aside my work to play My Little Ponies and Barbies so as not to miss important moments with Lydia. Yes, she can entertain herself much of the time, but I know these opportunities to connect with her won’t always be there. Someday I will wonder where the time went. Lord, help me stay present!
  • The weather actually got up in the upper 80s/low 90s a couple days this week!! Hot and windy! Lydia and I enjoyed picking up some mulch and other items at a local store. I also bought my first LED lights for inside, so hopefully, I won’t have to constantly change light bulbs. However, I recently changed several around the house, so it might be awhile before I get to use the new LED ones! At any rate, I am thankful for a wonderful house and simple fixes to keep it up and running.
  • Just in time for Mother’s Day, I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my parents on Lydia’s behalf. They came on a day I was frustrated with that pesky “should-do” list. Perfect timing. Lydia surprisingly denied having anything to do with the flowers. Still, I snapped a cute photo (above) of her holding them! 😉
  • In addition to the lovely flowers, I received a handful of thoughtful and heartwarming cards in the mail from close friends and family, acknowledging me as a single mom. Kindness counts. Lydia obviously isn’t able to do much in the ways of gifts, nor do I expect them. But, I love words of affirmation. Thank you to all who sent me encouraging notes!
  • And thanks for reading my Wednesday post, Because He Is Good. I appreciated all your comments and shares—I am eternally grateful that our gracious God redeems our pain and makes beauty from our mess. Even when our plans go awry, He makes all things work out for our good and His glory (see Romans 8:28).

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous

Because He Is Good

With the flip of the calendar, here we are in May! I love spring in general, but it is a little bittersweet as we near the third year mark of my late husband’s death. Over the last couple weeks, I have been praying about this upcoming anniversary.

Once again, the Lord has come through for me in ways only He can. I had coffee with a friend who reaffirmed me on a day I was feeling down. I also ran into several friends at church, and each time, God used them to lift me up with encouragement. In all these instances, I didn’t mention I was sad. But it was reassuring to see how God met my need. He is so good to me!

1361914238347

Dave was thirty-four when he died, which is far too young. He was diagnosed after an emergency surgery in May 2012. He died 364 days later. It was a wild and chaotic year, but God was ever-faithful.

This spring, I am a little sad, yes.

But mostly, I am still so proud of Dave after all these years. I admire how he handled his cancer with grace and courage. I’m grateful he did not give up.

Some people may think that God let me down because Dave died. Yet, I do not feel that way. In fact, I saw God do so much more than we could ever dream. He answered big, audacious prayers and small, silent ones. It was an awful situation, no doubt. But, God was so kind and generous.

Already Stage IV, Dave’s prognosis wasn’t great at the start, but God gave us those 364 days anyway. Some people get longer, but we relished every moment we had together. I’m thankful Dave didn’t have to suffer any longer than that because it got to be pretty intense those final weeks…

Psalm 46_1

What’s more, I’m so grateful for all God taught us that year. Dave had a servant’s heart like no other, but realized he couldn’t out-give God. He learned to rest in Jesus’ sacrifice because we can’t earn God’s grace.

For me, perhaps the lessons felt much more dramatic. Emotional roller coaster is an understatement. Our cancer journey brought out some of my worst traits. And trust me, I could be a bear at times! But, God’s grace and mercy were more than enough even then.

God provided wonderful friends who helped us, often with little advanced notice. He provided extra comfort for the worst days and gave us many joys along the way. As Dave himself said, it was a “phenomenal year.”

God used these extreme circumstances to prove that He is bigger than my fears. Every. Single. One. That alone was one of the biggest breakthroughs in my life.

He set me free indeed! What grace!

Can you believe these last three years have been some of the most fruitful years of my life? It’s not been easy, though God is redeeming my pain. He has rebuilt my life from the ashes. And because He is good, I am still standing!1 Corinthians 15_57I don’t know what you are dealing with today. Maybe everything is peachy keen. But, likely it’s not. If you are struggling with something, take it to Jesus. Let Him be your refuge and strength, your righteousness and your defense—He understands exactly what you need.

You simply cannot figure out every detail and outcome of your life. Believe me, I know! But if you place your trust in Jesus alone, He will lead you through it all. Let Him be your peace. He will bring you to Victory!

God loves you and is for you! Yes, life is hard. It doesn’t always turn out like we want. But God can handle everything that concerns you. And ultimately, if your hope is in Him, you will not be disappointed!

I know that full well.

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God, great is Your faithfulness! Thank You for being a trustworthy refuge. When we are afraid, may we place our hope in You. We overcome and have Victory, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How has God come through for you lately? How can I pray for you?